Static.
Transmission.
Cut to…
The Eagles Nest.
In an abandoned and isolated part of the arena kneels Cactus Jack in front of a large iconic Jim Morrison poster and a tattered world map. The broken fluorescent lights buzz in the background, several flickering to maintain the last scrapes of life remaining in them. Cables hang from the missing tiles in the ceiling, rubbish is spread across the floor and the Raven’s Nest loiter like discarded human-litter. Jack hunches, sporting a white ragged t-shirt branding the WCW logo tucked into his black wrestling tights which are augmented by his tan leather cowboy boots. Raven stands behind him in cut off denim shorts, black “Cult” t-shirt, and ripped leather jacket with a plaid flannel shirt tied around his waist. He places a comforting hand gently placed on Cactus Jack’s shoulder.
Jack takes a deep breath, his voice is soft and his tone whimpers.
Cactus Jack: It may be hard to believe, but, somewhere deep inside this demented mind there lurks a soft spot. A soft spot for the things that have gone through my life, a soft spot for the wrestling history in my life, and a soft spot Undertaker… for you. Because you are a part of my wrestling history.
He glances up at Raven who nods in approval, ushering Jack onward.
Cactus Jack: You see, the night of June twenty-eight, nineteen-ninety-eight will forever be embedded in my skull. It’s embedded in my heart… AND IT’S EMBEDDED IN EVERY NIGHTMARE THAT I WILL EVER HAVE AGAIN! Oh yeah, you remember King of the Ring in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania…how could anyone forget? It was the night the Undertaker NEAR TRIED TO KILL ME…in the Hell in the Cell.
Cactus’s desperate wail echoes around the deserted corridors. Raven rubs his hand gently into Cactus Jack’s shoulders in support, almost massaging him.
Cactus Jack: Only…
A sinister smile spreads on Cactus’s face.
Cactus Jack: … he couldn’t keep Mankind down.
He quickly runs a hand through his hair, whisking loose ends away and tucking them behind his half ear.
Cactus Jack: You see he threw me off the cage in an attempt to cripple me.
Foley laughs dementedly.
Cactus Jack: But that won’t keep Mrs Foley’s Little Boy down. Not when he’s still breathing. So I got back up, and I don’t know… maybe it was the concussion talking, or maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, cause I begged the Undertaker to hit me, hit me Undertaker… HIT ME DAMN IT, HIT ME!
Cactus unleashes a furrow of right hands to his own temple, grinning in anguish as he does so.
Cactus Jack: But he didn’t just hit me… he chokeslamed me through the cage AND TRIED TO MURDER ME!
Jack chuckles as he shakes his head.
Cactus Jack: But he couldn’t keep this son of’a bitch down! So as I lay there in the middle of the ring, regaining consciousness to see Terry Funk’s empty boots staring me in the face, my arm hanging by a thread and my tooth dangling somewhere in my nostril… I came to realise something.
Jack holds his hands out.
Cactus Jack: The pain was so much, it was so much that I’ll be honest with you, I wanted to say “I quit, Undertaker, I give. I’ve waved the flag and I’m a coward, please don’t hurt me anymore”. Only when I opened my mouth to utter those words, thinking to myself “that he who flees, lives to flee another day”, they’re not the words that came out. No, as much as I wanted to just concede, instead I said “thank you, sir… MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?!”. Because you see, Undertaker, on June twenty-eight, nineteen-ninety-eight, I came to the realisation that pain was my friend. See when I was lying in the pool of my own blood, with my shoulder dislocated so badly it looked like a piece of dead meat, with my ribs cracked and my most recent cavity filling stuck in my nose…I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy it just one little bit! That night you awoke a sleeping giant. You see, you killed a little bit of Mankind in Pittsburgh… but you brought Jack back!
Cactus smirks with a sadistic glint in his eye.
Cactus Jack: When you step into the ring with the Undertaker a lot of things go through your mind… I should know.
It’s maybe a bad choice to wrestle him, perhaps. But then again, bad choices don’t seem so bad when we’re making them, until you look back and wonder why. So when I heard with an eager ear of the tales of the Undertaker in WCW, I thought back to that night at King of the Ring, and I don’t see a bad choice to Round Two with the Deadman… I see a chance to finally sleep at night! You see, the Undertaker’s gone too far, and now he’s got to pay! I didn’t mind so much about me, I’ve sacrificed myself for the last twenty years and left the better parts of my past lying on concrete floors from Africa, to Asia, to South America - so what’s one more concussion to me?! I don’t mind what the Undertaker wants to do me, he’s already taken my soul, I lost that a long time ago… there’s no going back for me, but I’ll be damned if I let the same fate befall my good friend Stevie Richards! I won’t let you take him!!
An intensity burns in Cactus’s eyes. He slowly calms down under Raven’s calm presence.
Cactus Jack: I’ve been taught a lot recently. It’s all down to one man, you see, one mad had the courage; the strength; and the compassion to open my eyes, to show me the way, and allow me to kneel at his alter of pain. He made me realise that I have got a moral obligation, you see the I'm on the path of righteousness.
Cactus looks up devotedly towards Raven.
Cactus Jack: And righteous men wield a lot of power. So what I’m saying Undertaker is, as much as I’d love to call our match on Nitro a grudge match, as much as I’d like to stake my revenge… the situation is more serious than you would assume. I’m not wrestling you because I want you, you see… I HAVE TO! This thing is way above me, its way above you, ‘Taker. It’s above anything I’ve ever done. Maybe if I can save Richards, maybe if I can spare the WCW roster from you… maybe there will be some hope for me after all, maybe I’ll get my absolution and maybe then I won’t have to go to bed at night worrying about where I’ll spend my eternity!
Cactus bows his head shamefully after his cries of desperation.
Cactus Jack: It’s a heavy cross to bare, but if I can hold myself up one more time… I will do my must, I’ll make a vow right here and now, to stop you ‘Taker. You can’t stop the wheels that have already been set in motion. See, the decade of destruction ends. I can’t let it happen. Not here, not in WCW. I won’t let you do it. I can’t afford to let you do it.
Jack gulps.
Cactus Jack: May God have mercy on your soul, and may he show leniency to mine….
BANG BANG.
Cactus shoots off his hand pistols timidly as Raven glares into shot.
Cut.
Cut to…
Locker room.
Mikey Whipwreck: Cactus I wish I was as brave as you. You’re my inspiration.
The camera pans around showing Cactus slouched on a bench. Jack looks up at the grinning Mikey Whipwreck, his baby-faced features and youthful smile highlighted by his baseball cap tilted so that his visor faces backwards.
Cactus Jack: I’m not brave Mikey, I’m the biggest coward there is.
Mikey Whipwreck: Nonsense, I mean… gee-golly heck Cactus, you’re facing the Big Red Machine Kane this week on Nitro and you don’t even seem worried about how dangerous it could be! I wanna’ be just like you Cactus.
Cactus against lifts his head from his gloomy stare, and depressingly blows a strand of hair from his face.
Cactus Jack: That’s because danger is the love of my pathetic life. It’s all I’ve got left. It’s only when it’s at its most dangerous that I am truly alive. Promise me Mikey, promise me you won’t turn out like me.
Mikey Whipwreck: But I wanna’ You’re my hero.
Cactus Jack: No Mikey, you don’t. Trust me Mikey, you don’t want to walk in my shoes. You don’t want to start a journey on the roadless travel which Cactus Jack set his smelly feet upon! Cause once you’re on it… you find out that it doesn’t ever end! Listen to me, listen to the voice of reason, promise me you won’t turn out like I did, promise me that…
Mikey Whipwreck: But I…
Cactus Jack: PROMISE ME! PROMISE ME DAMN IT!
Mikey Whipwreck: Okay… okay… I promise, Cactus. Geez…
Whipwreck sighs.
Mikey Whipwreck: It’s just you’re so brave, you’re not afraid of anything.
Cactus Jack: Oh but I am, Mikey. I am, I’m afraid of everything. Only that’s what puts the spark in my eye, that’s what puts the flash in this smile…
Jack grins poking his tongue through his missing two front teeth.
Cactus Jack: But the difference is, I’m not worried about being afraid because I’ve got nothing left to lose. I mean what can he do to me? What can he really do? Kane can’t take my teeth because they’re already gone, he can’t take my ear because… oops, it’s gone too! And more importantly Mikey, he can’t take my heart… BECAUSE IT’S TOO BIG FOR HIM TO CARRY!
Cactus wails.
Cactus Jack: I’ve got guts, and I’ve got heart Mikey. And if you take anything from me, if I’ve taught you anything, you’ll take heart too. Because with a little heart Mikey… anything is possible… anything, even walking unscathed through hellfire and brimstone.
Mikey pauses in contemplation as the scene fades out.
Cut.
Cut to…
The Eagles Nest.
Stevie Richards: Raven I’ve got it! Raven?
Stevie Richards parades around the scattered tip that is the Eagles Nest, crossing in and out of corridors into door-less rooms in search of Raven.
Stevie Richards: Oh hey Beulah, where’s Raven?
The camera pans to show Beulah standing in a rather revealing pale-coloured dress. She pouts seductively with a hint of a smile. Richards eyes her up quickly as not to be seen. But she knows, she kind of likes it to.
Beulah McGillicutty: He and Cactus just left. Something about offering Shelley a way out before Nitro?
Her statement is more of a question as she seeks an answer or further explanation from Richards. Of course, Richards is clueless and just shrugs.
Beulah McGillicutty: What’s so important anyway?
Stevie Richards: Oh nothing really, just… well, okay, here goes. You know how the Undertaker is supposed to be like the master of getting into his opponents heads and stuff all eerie and kooky like that?
Beulah nods.
Stevie Richards: Well, anyway… me and Meanie have come up with some weapons of mass destruction for OUR very own psychological warfare. You know, we’ll use it to upset the harmony in their so-called “team” for the big blow-out this week on Nitro.
Richards gives her a thumbs up as if he’s the Fonz.
Stevie Richards: The Brother’s of Destruction… former WWF World Tag Team Champions an WWF World Heavyweight Champions. Oh, I’m so scared.
Richards mocked sarcastically as he tried to show off to Beulah by pretending to be all macho.
A clatter of metal upon metal disrupted his succession of silly faces, making him jump and then cower behind Beulah.
Richards clears his throat embarrassed by the little incident. Beulah grins.
Stevie Richards: Anyway, yeah… where was I? Uh, yeah… psychological warfare. They want to use fear to intimidate us… well, we’ll use fear to intimidate them. I give to you…. Kane’s worst nightmare!
Richards jumps to the side, flinging both hands across in a scorpion like Kevin Nash type pose and points off-shot.
Long silence.
Stevie Richards: Ahem! Meanie?!
Blue Meanie: Oh yeah, sorry. Tehehe.
The Blue Meanie enters the shot dressed in bright white suit, complete with fake white goatee beard and black cane. He carries a large cardboard bucket brandishing the logo ‘KFC’.
Beulah cocks her eyebrow a little confused.
Stevie Richards: Oh come on, don’t you get it? It’s supposed to be Colonel Sanders. Look he’s even carrying a bucket of friend chicken.
Blue Meanie: Which is finger licking good, by the way.
Richards stares at Beulah, a little unimpressed.
Stevie Richards: You still don’t get it do you?
Beulah McGillicutty: No, Richards. I don’t.
Stevie Richards: Do I have to spell it out to you, woman? Come on. Kane was burned alive when he was a kid. Burned… you know, like ‘fried’… fried chicken. The smell of that chicken alone is bound to remind him of his flesh being cooked. It’ll bring back all the painful memories he’s tried to repress all this time. He’ll snap and go blitzkrieg on the Undertaker. It’s genius, huh?
Beulah McGillicutty: Eh… well, it’s definitely… something?
Blue Meanie: I told you we should have left all that psycho-babble stuff to Raven.
Richards looks like he’s taken the huff.
Cut.
Cut to…
The Paparazzi Productions’ Dressing Room.
We see Cactus fiddling around with Shelley’s famous camcorder. He finally steps aside and gives Raven the thumbs up. He walks around and takes his place in front of the lens with Raven, showing both men in shot. The timer clicks…
-Recording…
Raven: Between the idea and the reality, between the motion and the act… falls the Raven. Between conception and creation, between emotion and response… falls the Raven. Alex Shelley, there is no heaven for you… there is no sanctuary, only false inhibitions.
Raven closes the palm of his extended hand.
Raven: I too was once lost in the shuffle, now I shuffle with the lost. You see, there comes a time Alex, when a man must chose the path which he shall follow for the rest of his life. This Monday Night at Nitro, you stand at the crossroads to immortality and damnation, where destiny upholds and fate appends. It is a choice that only you can make. I can only encourage you to imbibe but it you alone who must swallow. Choose wisely, and with the right choice you won’t need to be alone. I can walk with you, Alex. I can even carry you along the way should you ever feel weakened to the point where you doubt you can continue.
There’s a slyness about Raven’s eyes.
Raven: Walk with me, Alex. For I am the way. I am the way to the city of woe. I am the way to eternal sorrow. I am the way to the forsaken people. I can empathize with these people. I can understand their futility, I can feel their hopelessness. I feel their pain. I’d bare it for them if I could.
Raven stares menacingly into shot.
Raven: Choose wisely, Alex. To be their partner, or not to be… that is the question, those are the paths. Choose wisely, for the road you eventually take may not be quite what you expect. The glowing light at the end of the tunnel may not be the beacon of righteousness that you perceived to have envisioned. It may be some horribly disfigured funhouse reflection of your own inner dreams.
Cactus Jack: Don’t you see, Alex, Raven’s offering you an out. I too was slithering on my belly in a bingo hall looking for acceptance from people that I didn’t even give a damn about until Raven opened up my eyes. Who was there for me when I needed guidance? Raven was. You see, I too wanted to hear people cheer for me because of some act of bravery that I had committed. But when you give them every bit of energy you have, and you hear them chant someone else’s name… it broke my heart. Raven helped mend it. What we’re saying is, you’ve got two options on Monday Night. Number one, by an act on behalf of our own generosity you take our advice and you don’t turn up. Or, number two… you show up with the understanding that we cannot be held accountable for what might happen to you. You understand, you’ll have to be hurt, because when you choose to cross our path… YOU CHOOSE A LIVING HELL!
Cactus screams threateningly down the lens.
Cactus Jack: Keep going the way you’re going and before you know it you’ll be on a rollercoaster trip STRAIGHT TO HELL! But we’re willing to step in and save you, just don’t make it difficult. Let’s be amicable about this. Take the easy way out, don’t make this difficult, Alex. Don’t make us hurt you, because we can and we will. We only want what’s best for you, man.
Jack flashed a cheesy smile as Raven extended both his arms out into the crucifix (Wings of Raven) pose.
