Rated R
4 - 0 - 0

The Following Feature Has Been
RATED R

And May Contain:

Foul Language,
Excessive Violence
&
Strong Sexual Situations

The following PREVIEW has been approved for RESTRICTED AUDIENCES ONLY by the Motion Picture Association of the Allstar Wrestling Alliance.

Fade in classically trained voice-actor and narration/voice over.

“In a world in need of a champion, one man has risen to the top.”

“A man not afraid to break the rules, and destroy his enemies.”

“From Edge, the acclaimed superstar who brought you TLC and Money in the Bank, comes his greatest Allstar Wrestling Alliance appearance yet.”


Edge vs. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

“On March the fifth, the most watched world champion of the past five years returns to scene of his greatest triumph…”


February 12th, 2007.
Madison Square Gardens
New York City.

“… and just like before, he’ll ‘Fight for the Right’ to walk out AWA Champion.”

“Witness the final destruction of Shawn Michaels and Randy Orton at Fight for the Right… courtesy of the Rated R Superstar himself.”

“Prepare to be taken… to the Edge!”

Slow fade.

New York, New York.


Five.

1. GET ME THE MAYOR.

Fade in.

New York City Hall
Lower Manhattan, New York
Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s Office.

Exterior Shot of City Hall.

Cut to:

The shot opens on an attractive young women sitting behind a desk, typing away at a keyboard of a computer. Her attention is suddenly caught and she raises her head and smiles politely.

Secretary: Yes, how may I help you?

The camera swivels around showing the AWA Champion Edge somewhat formally dressed in dark jeans and a suit jacket over his grey t-shirt with the glistening gold belt lapelled onto his shoulder like his prized trophy. By his side sneers the fiery temptress Lita who is dressed in a stringy-vest showing her bra underneath and a short mini skirt which cuts where a pair of long striped stockings begin and head down to high platform heels.

Edge: Well you can start by go and getting me the guy in charge around here.

Secretary: You mean the Mayor?

Edge: No, Henry Winkler from Happy Days obviously.

Edge smiled so pretentiously at the young woman as he gloated at his quick-fire sarcastic wit.

The woman looked confused.

Edge furrowed his eyebrows gurney, unimpressed and annoyed.

Edge: Yes.

He sighed.

Edge: Yes, I mean the Mayor. Get me the Mayor.

Secretary: I’m sorry sir, Mayor Bloomberg is very busy today and even if he wasn’t, it is not within City Hall’s policy of practice to just let anyone speak to the Mayor when they wish. They need to make appointments for security reasons.

Edge: Okay, okay… you listen to me toots. Do you even know who I am?

The woman pauses in contemplation, her expression slightly perplexed.

Edge: You know what, don’t even answer that. Apparently you’ve been living under some kinda’ rock for the past couple of months, you see I’m the Rated R Superstar. Know what that means? I don’t make appointments. Why’s that, you ask? Well…

Edge flinches, startled slightly as his cellphone goes off in his suit jacket pocket. He pulls it out, clutching it in his right hand.

Edge: Now, I could stand here all day and be so egotistical and gloat by listing to you all of my accomplishments but I’m not going to…

Edge smirks.

Edge: …instead I’ll let Lita do it for me while I just take this call.

He laughed confidently as Lita placed both her hands on her hips and drew the poor secretary daggers. Edge took a few steps away from the desk and flipped his phone open. Drawing it to his ear it went straight onto his voicemail.

Voicemail: You Have One New Message.

Beep.

Edge looks confused as awaited the message and then a small wry smile crept across his face.

Randy Orton: Listen Edge! You have got some explaining to do. As if last week didn't start off bad enough with having to apologize to Shawn Micheals in front of the public, you speared me on the steel ramp!. What the hell was that…?!

Edge laughed arrogantly, flipping his cellphone shut and sliding it back into his top suit jacket pocket with a careless ease. He sneered dismissively to himself.

Edge: I swear, that guy’s got a hard-on for me. He just won’t leave me alone. It’s getting kinda’… weird.

Edge headed back over to the desk where Lita was now in what appeared to be a heated conversation with the Secretary.

Lita: No, you listen to me, dummy! I’m gonna’ explain this real simple and easy for ya’, okay honey? My man, the Rated R Superstar Edge, is the CURRENT AWA World Heavyweight Champion. He’s a former two-time, that’s right count them, blondie – two-time WWE Champion. He’s the most watched champion of the past five years. The man who singled handedly contributed to the biggest ratings increase in the history of the wrestling business. So you go tell your little Mayor that he has the privilege, no, no… the PLEASURE of meeting the man who’s about to put this damn city back on the map! You think you can manage that, huh? You know something, …

Lita stops mid-rant as Edge places his hand around her hip protectively.

Lita: Who was it, babe?

Edge: Just a message.

Lita: Oh, okay.

Edge: …from Randy.

Lita: …Oh. Not again.

Edge: Yeah, tell me about it. I mean for crying out loud, can’t the guy move on? Does he think he’s actually going to accomplish anything through his constant - and oh-so irritating - whingeing? Oh, why Edge, why? Pfff… it’s pathetic.

Lita: He’s pathetic.

Edge: Exactly.

Secretary: Ahem, excuse me…

Edge: What?

Edge snaps around, making the secretary seemingly uncomfortable.

Edge: Oh I’m sorry, were we keeping you waiting? … GOOD! Shut up! I’ll deal with you in a minute.

He turns to Lita.

Edge: Now, where were we?

Lita: We were just talking about how pathetic Randy Orton is.

Edge: Oh yeah, and I’ll prove just how pathetic he is this Monday Night when at Madison Square Gardens the “Legend Killer Tour” gets cancelled… permanently.

The sadistic twinkle in Edge’s eyes say it all. Lita licks his lips, nodding.

Lita: Hah, I love it when you talk dirty.

Edge and Lita partake in an over-the-top exhibition in the form of a slobbering kiss, put on much for the disgust of the secretary.

They both turn their attention back to the pretty young woman behind the desk.

Edge: What, don’t you speak the same language? I don’t think you understand. I still don’t see the Mayor and I don’t like to be kept waiting.

Secretary: Sir, I think that it is you who does not understand. It is impossible for you to see Mayor Bloomberg this afternoon.

Edge: No. No, no, no. You see I’m onto something BIG here. I’ve got some “inside” information for Bloomsdale…

Secretary: Bloomberg.

Edge: Yeah, whatever. You see, I’ve got a proposition for him… and let’s just say it’s so BIG that it’ll keep him in term for like the next eight years. So I suggest, if you want to keep your job, that you get on the phone and you get me the Mayor – cause if he finds out that you turned this opportunity down without even consulting him he’s probably gonna’ fire your pretty little ass without batting an eyelid. Got it? Good.

Black.

2. THE INDECENT PROPOSAL.

Fade in.

New York City Hall
Lower Manhattan, New York
Inside the actual Mayor’s Office.

(4 Minutes and One Phone-Call Later).

Knock-knock.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg: Come in, come in.

Enter Edge and Lita.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg: Have a seat, have a seat. Sit down. Let me just say that it’s such an honour for this great city to have a great champion like you visiting. Now…

He cleared his throat slightly nervously.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg: Sorry to cut to the point, but I have the busiest schedule today.

Edge: That’s okay, we like to get the point too.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg: So? This proposition you got for me? You know, the one my secretary tells me you claim will ensure that I stay in term for the foreseeable extended future? Heheh.

Edge: You wanna’ hear our proposal?

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg: I’m all ears, Mr Edge.

Edge: Okay here goes, Mayor. What it is, is this, okay? Correct me if I’m wrong but, next week under you’re arrangements, New York is planning a big Saint Patrick’s Day Parade – right?

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg: Right.

Edge: Cancel it.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg: Huh? What?! It’s taken months to plan!

Edge: Yeah, and nobody cares about Saint Patrick… I mean, what did he ever do, huh? Did he win the AWA title? No, I don’t think he did.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg: I don’t understand what does the AWA title have to do with Saint Patrick’s Day?

Edge: Just hear me out. Cancel the parade, and give the people, the citizens of New York … you’re voting electorate, what they really want. They don’t want a Saint Patrick’s Day Parade, no far from it, Mikey.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg: So what do they want then? I thought that was the public consensus.

Edge: Well, you see to cut a long story short just less than a couple of weeks ago I captured the AWA World Heavyweight Championship in an over-the-top royal rumble at Madison Square Gardens right here in New York. By doing so, I seem to have won myself a place in the hearts of the people of New York City. (Yeah, right.). And this Monday Night I return to the scene of the crime – so to speak – when I defend this baby.

Edge taps his title.

Edge: Just for the record; I’m gonna’ leave New York with this title around my waist. I mean let’s face it, who’s going to stop me? Shawn Michaels? Pffffttt… we both know that’s not going to happen.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg: I wouldn’t know, I don’t watch AWA.

Edge: You don’t have to. Everybody knows Michaels sucks these days. He can’t get it done in the ring anymore, so there’s a fat chance of him leaving with the gold. Oh, wait a minutes, maybe his Big Bad Bodyguard gonna’ stop me? I’d like to see Kevin Nash try. I’m quaking in my boots. Hah, what’s he gonna’ do… injure himself?

Edge and Lita chuckle.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg: I’m sorry, is this going anywhere? I’m a really busy man.

Edge: What I’m saying is, me being the adopted home-town hero – after all I NEVER seem to lose in New York, it’s a proven fact – this is what you gotta’ do, Mikey my-man. You’re gonna’ cancel that Saint Patrick’s Day Parade, and you’re gonna’ give these people something they can really go nuts for – seeing as how the Knicks and the Yankees don’t give them much to cheer about these days.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg: What are you saying?

Edge: I’m saying, they don’t want a Saint Patrick’s Day Parade. No, what these people want – what you ought to give them – in honour of my successful title defence against Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels this Monday Night at Fight for the Right is a Saint Edge’s Day Parade.

Edge nods smugly, Lita’s hand in his lap.

Edge: They’d love you for it.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg: Uh… we’ll think about it.

Black.

3. NIGHTMARE ON 34TH STREET.

Fade in.

The Trump International Hotel and Tower
New York City
Room 167
Honeymoon Suite

(Later that night. Approximately 4am.)

Edge and Lita lay asleep in bed in their hotel suite. All is peaceful and quiet, AWA’s Rated R Couple are in the land of nod.

Edge: Agh!

Edge shoots bolt upright in what appears to be a cold sweat. Lita arouses startled and concerned.

Lita: What’s wrong?

Edge: I just had, like totally, the worst nightmare ever!

Lita: What was it, babe?

Edge: You can’t even begin to image, Lita. You know how you were saying earlier that you saw that Shawn Michaels had changed his image and gone more “hip-hop” to appeal to the more modern fans by rapping to some stupid Emimen song? Well, I think I just envisioned his mid-life crisis up close and personal, first hand. It was like he couldn’t suck anymore, it was almost impossible… then he goes and turns into John Cena.

Edge shudders.

Edge: It was painstakingly horrible to watch.

Lita: I can imagine.

Edge: Then you won’t want to know the agony I had to endure when he started “spitting” his new rhymes. Well, at least that’s what he called it. It didn’t look like “spitting”, from where I was I could have mistaken it for verbal vomiting. Then, get this, he was the AWA Champion.

Lita: Huh?

Edge: Yeah that’s when I knew it had to be a dream. I mean, Michaels beat me? Pffft, yeah right… in HIS dreams!

Lita: Well, since I’m up, you want me to…. you know, make you feel better?

Lita gives Edge a teasing little smile.

Edge: Baby, make me feel SIX times better, hah.

Lita: You got it, champ.

Lita pulls the duvet over them both.

Black.

4. FACING THE MUSIC.

Fade in.

Fade in.

Madison Square Gardens
Times Square, New York
Backstage, AWA Production Area.

(Pre-Taped.)

The shot shows a relaxed Edge with his arm around Lita. She proudly displays the AWA World Heavyweight Championship belt for all to see. Edge gloats, basking in all his glory, but there appears to be something bothering him.

Edge: Over the last couple of weeks I’ve copped a lot of slack from people asking me how I could disrespect a legend like Shawn Michaels in that way.

Edge chuckles, self-amused.

Edge: From some sort of fairy-story that they’ve bought in to, they’d have you believe that I had “cheated” Shawn Michaels out of the AWA World Heavyweight Title. I mean it obviously can’t have anything to do with the fact that I won this belt because I’m better than he is… or was, should I say, seeing as how he’s a little past it these days.

He recounts like a proud-parent listing their child’s accomplishments and endeavours.

Edge: I’ve berated him, I’ve belittled him, I’ve humiliated him… and, hah, I’ve even bashed his brains in with a con-chair-to for good measure. Yet, I don’t hear people say how much I’ve dominated as reigning world champion. I don’t hear my praises getting sung. No, all I hear is people complaining at the way I’ve been treating Shawn Michaels.

Edge adopts a whiney, irritating, little voice.

Edge: How could you, Edge? How could you do that to a legend like the Heart Break Kid?

He sneers with contempt.

Edge: Well you know something, all of your complaining, yeah, it’s just like Shawn Michaels… IT’S PATHETIC! How could I, hah? Because I can, that’s why! Huh, sound familiar? I seem to recall Shawn Michaels saying the exact same thing when he was the supposed “Main Event”, the supposed “Show Stopper”… some eighty years ago. Well I got a newsflash for ya’; I’m the Main Event now! People pay to see me. I’m the most watched champion of the past five years and I’ll treat Shawn Michaels however the hell I damn well want! Yeah, that’s right, see I’m the champ – I call the shots around here. I answer to no-one. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again until you people get it through your thick heads; I do what I want, when I want and there’s nobody that can stop me. Not Randy Orton, nope not Generation Next, heck not even Ed Famous himself… and certainly not Shawn Michaels.

Edge laughs, shaking his head in disbelief.

Edge: I’ve even came in for a considerable amount of criticism from people who wanna’ know how I could disrespect a man like Shawn Michaels, I mean after-all he’s apparently the man who paved the way for future superstars like myself? How could I treat a man who has given everything he can to this business that I love with such contempt?

Edge appears arrogantly smug. He pauses tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear.

Edge: Well to all those people, I say…

He cuts a hand across the air, his expression changing to that of disgust and anger.

Edge: …you’re full of crap!

His panting chest and heavy breathing highlight the intensity burning within him.

Edge: I’ll give you two reasons why. Number One: I’m one of a kind. I’d be the Rated R Superstar whether there was a HBK or not. And Number Two:…

Edge holds up a second finger.

Edge: Everything I’m saying about Shawn Michaels is the truth!

Edge smirks.

Edge: You see, when I look at you Shawn Michaels I see but a shell of your former self. I’m not seeing the Heart Break Kid. I’m not seeing the man who had all the men quaking in their boots and all the women going weak at the knees. I see a washed up, broken-down, old man who can’t let go. But don’t worry, you see, I’m gonna’ make you whether you want to or not. It’s so bad, Shawn, it’s turning into a joke. Oh yeah, Shawn Michaels – the Peter Pan of Wrestling. Well, hey, you know what, who cares if that’s what people are calling you, I mean I think it’s a good idea. So you “Think happy thoughts”, “think happy thoughts” Shawn… it might cheer you up because this Monday is going to be the unhappiest night of your entire career!

Lita nods.

Lita: You could say it might even be Heart Breaking for you, Shawn.

Edge: Ouch.

Edge grinned at Lita’s pun.

Edge: Sooner or later you’re going to have to understand, that you’re not THAT guy anymore… no, you’re not THE guy you haven’t been for about ten years. You’re not the guy who makes grown men quake in their boots – I am. They fear me now. You’re not the guy who gets the women weak at the knees with your boyish charm and good looks – you’re in your forties now, they’ve all faded away. The women, they fall at my feet these days, isn’t that right babe?

Lita gave a she-devil smile and licked her lips.

Edge: Where as the ones that fell at yours back in the day are probably sitting at home right now with their feet up, doing a spot of knitting and wondering how to use their television remotes. Face it, you’re not THE guy anymore, I am! Everyone knows it, only you just don’t seem to want to accept it. Yeah, maybe you can prove them wrong huh? Well, forget it Shawn, it’s over. You’re not good enough to beat me now, heck you probably never were in the first place but I won’t go there I want to leave you at least some dignity.

Edge pauses in thought.

Edge: Well, at least whatever shred of it you have left. I mean your latest stake is that you’ll quite happily prance around the ring in what can only be described as a pair of homo-erotic leather cowboy chaps that you stole off the biker guy from the Village People. Then you’ll do some crotch chops as you augment back on your Degeneration X days before you got you’re bad back, you’ll shout “are you ready?” and then part-take in some sexually habitual and ambiguous natured jokes about your genitalia. ‘Cause let’s face it, that’s the only way you can get a rise these days, huh? The only problem being the only people who get off on this stupid stuff is twelve year olds and complete idiots like yourself. However, I speak for the majority, when I say the rest of us aren’t laughing with you Shawn – we’re laughing AT you. You see, you’re pathetic, and that’s why I feel I have to not only defend the AWA title at Fight for the Right, but that it’s my duty to rescue it from the demeaning task of ever having to be around your waist. You’ll ruin it Shawn, you’ll soil it just like you soiled what should have been the twighlight of your career. You should have retired along time ago.

Lita: A long, long, LONG time ago.

Edge: But you don’t want to make that decision of bringing down the curtain on the Heart Break Kid, do ya’? Hey, don’t worry about it, I’ll spare us all the embarrassment when I put you out of your misery this Monday Night. No matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise, it won’t change a damn thing. You wanna’ try to paint yourself as some kind of hero, as some knight in shining armour. Well, fine by me. Only it’s gonna’ be a bit of a let down… much you these days. ‘Cause you see this story doesn’t end with “the Sheriff” riding off into the sunset, no, the story of the Heart Break Kid ends at Fight for the Right with the AWA title around my waist and you lying flat on your already half-crippled back! And, Shawn, I want you to look up, I want you to wipe the blood and tears from your eyes and gaze up at the heavens above. Because you’re gonna’ have to pray to God for some divine intervention to stop me from ending your career! Only… hah, it’ll be too late. Not even he can help you now because all those years that “ol’ HBK” prided himself on being the Heart Break Kid, well they finally caught up to him.

Edge grins smugly.

Edge: Face the music, nobody cares about HBK anymore. I’m the star of this company. I’m a bigger star than you ever were. And, not only that, I’m on my way up. You’re a past it now, you’re nothing but a has been. You my friend, you’re on your way down… that’s if, you haven’t hit rock bottom already.

Lita: Out with the old, in with the new.

Edge: So, it seems only fitting that in New York – the city that never sleeps – I am going to lay you, and shambles that you’ve let your career become, to rest for once and for all!

Edge laughs somewhat sadistically as Lita places the AWA title across his shoulder.

Fade out.

Achievements: Official E-Fed Hall Of Fame: Inducted as Steve Corino (Class of 2004). CWO: Hall of Fame Inductee; CWO Caesar; Battle Royal Winner; World Heavyweight Champion (3); Intercontinental Champion; Tag Team Champion; Greatest Matches (2); Superstar of the Year (2002); Most Consistent (2002); Greatest Match Participant (2002); Best Angle (2002); Best Manager (2002). AWE: World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender; Tag Team Champion. CWE: World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender; Tag Team Champion; Hardcore Champion; Greatest Matches. HHF: Hall of Fame Inductee; World Heavyweight Champion (2); Intercontinental Champion; Tag Team Champion. HWF: World Heavyweight Champion (6); Intercontinental Champion; Tag Team Champion. TNW: World Heavyweight Champion. SPW(e): (Co) World Heavyweight Champion; Joint Royal Rumble Winner. sPw: Hall of Fame Inductee; the sPw Grandslam; World Heavyweight Champion; Intercontinental Champion (2); European Champion; Tag Team Champion. PWF: Intercontinental Champion; Tag Team Champion. RW: World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender; Tag Team Champion. SGWx: World Heavyweight Championship Tournament Finalist. APW: X-Treme Champion; Greatest Matches. WDW: Intercontinental Champion. XWF: World Heavyweight Champion; Hardcore Champion; Power Rankings (2nd; 15/06/06) (1st; 22/06/06) (1st; 29/06/06) (2nd; 06/07/06) (2nd; 13/07/06) (1st; 20/07/06) (1st; 30/07/06) (1st; 04/08/06) (1st; 10/08/06) (1st; 17/08/06) (1st; 24/08/06); Top Five Rankings (10); Fighter of the Week (3); Brawl of the Week (4). SGW: XWF World Heavyweight Champion (Denounced); CWO World Heavyweight Champion; Gold of the Week (2); Formerly Banned. MLW: World Heavyweight Champion. AWA: World Heavyweight Champion (Current); In The Spotlight (1).