Original Air Date: January 29, 2004 RAUCOUS 01 |
Calm Before the Storm |
(FADEIN: The lockerroom of Shawn Hart and Suicidal Killer. Killer is pacing back and forth and Hart is sitting, reclined, and pretty calm.)
HART: “Calm down, nnnnndaddio! We got this thing in the baaaaag!”
KILLER: “Don’t call me daddio.”
HART: “Ok, nnnnnnn…”
(Killer steps up to where Hart is sitting and stares down at him. Hart stops and just looks down. CUTTO: The announce table.)
GHEORGHE: “And it looks like Suicidal Killer is a little on edge as Shawn Hart is trying to be relaxed.”
JIVE: “Well when you’re going head to head against the WFW World Champion Scotty Michaels and The American, I can see why he is scared!”
GHEORGHE: “I don’t think Killer is scared. I think he wants to be focused for this very tough match ahead of them.”
JIVE: “I saw some flashes of yellow on his back.”
GHEORGHE: “And this match should be a doozy. Two of these combatants already have a history with each other as just a few weeks ago, Scotty Michaels scammed the entire wrestling world with his cousin Stevie Michaels and screwed ‘the Phenom’ Shawn Hart out of the WFW World Title at Merrython!”
JIVE: “Michaels was using his God given gift of intelligence to outsmart Shawn Hart. And thankfully, it worked!”
GHEORGHE: “But what has really been interesting in this match was the words exchanged between Suicidal Killer and the American leading up to this match.”
JIVE: “Really? I tended to fall asleep whenever they came on.”
GHEORGHE: “Uh-huh.. Well, I’m sure there were plenty of people out there in TV land that found it much more interesting. But then again, Nick, you thought that Al Gore was interesting..”
JIVE: “HEY! Don’t bring that up!”
GHEORGHE: “Ha, ha! Let’s send this thing up to Carl Jacobs … ladies and gentlemen we’ve come down to our final match of the night! The Renaissance Man, Cross, Peter File, Jonathan Marx, Larry Tact and El Arco Iris have already made it to the second round …. WHO WILL JOIN THEM?!”
(CUTTO: The ring. Inside the ring stands Carl Jacobs holding the microphone. Underneath him is the lineup for the next match, which flashes on and off the screen.)
MAIN EVENT |
JACOBS: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is our FINAL first round BATTLE BOWL MANIA MATCH!”
(Crowd pops)
JACOBS: “Introducing first ….”
(CUEUP: ‘Army of Me’ by Chimaira. The lights go out and then white spotlights start flashing all amongst the crowd. On the large screen near the rampway, the symbol of 666 begins flashing in all white. A voice in the background is heard chanting the numbers over and over again. Suicidal Killer comes out from the Entrance to a chorus of boos. He stands there for a moment and looks over the crowd. The voice doesn't quit chanting until Suicidal Killer points to the crowd and does a slow cut throat taunt which signals for the music to hit over the PA and for the lights to come on as you see large pyros go off behind him. He then slowly walks to the ring, and jumps up on the mat while slowly stepping over the top rope and into the ring.)
JACOBS: “From Walker, Texas.. standing 7 feet 4 inches tall….. SUICIDAL KILLER!!!”
JIVE: “WILL YOU LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT MAN!”
GHEORGHE: “Suicidal Killer is one hell of a man! He stands over 7 feet tall and weighs, get this, over FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS! This man is going to be tough to beat here in Worcester!”
JIVE: “TOUGH TO BEAT HERE??? Killer would be tough to beat in a place with no gravity!!”
(CUEUP: “Virtual Insanity’ by Jamiroqui .. The fans in the arena explode as the lights start to flicker and Shawn Hart walks out from the curtains. He is wearing a New England Patriots jersey.. #01 that says “HART” on the back. He starts strutting down to the ring, dancing a little as well. He stops before he gets into the ring and stretches against the ropes before he bounces himself in. He then climbs to the second turnbuckle.)
JACOBS: “And his partner … from ORLANDO, FLORIDA .. weighing 221 pounds and standing 5 foot 11…. He is the PHENOM ….. SHAWN HART!”
GHEORGHE: “And the fans are going crazy for Shawn Hart!!”
(All of a sudden those cheers turn to immense boos as ‘Its My Life’ by Bon Jovi hits the PA system. Trash starts pelting the rampway as Scotty Michaels walks through the curtains with the WFW World Title hanging from his shoulder. He has a cocky smile on his face as he points to Shawn Hart and then to the title. He laughs as he starts walking down the rampway.)
JACOBS: “And the first of their opponents …. From PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA …… the CURRENT WFW WORLD CHAMPION …. ‘the VIEWERS CHOICE’ SCOTTY MICHAELS!!”
JIVE: “I love it! Listen to the fans embrace THEIR future New ERA World Champion!”
GHEORGHE: “I don’t think that the fans are exactly appreciative of Scotty Michaels, especially after the shenanigans he pulled off at WFW Merrython.”
(CUEUP: “Salaambo’s Aria” by Janice Watson. The big screen turns black and white and ‘the American’ flashes on it. There are tons of flash bulbs going off in the crowds, definitely a part of his intro. Out come some 1920s/1930s’-ish burlesque dancers followed by The American.)
GHEORGHE: “Oh my.. The American being led to the ring by some … well, I guess the word would be big boned dancers who are reminiscent of the 30s burlesque dancers that were ever so popular..”
JIVE: “What are you TALKING about, Tom? Those woman are the finest specimen of meat I have ever seen. Look at the backsides on them, wowza!”
GHEORGHE: “I’m afraid you can’t avoid seeing their backsides…..”
JACOBS: “AND HIS PARTNER …. From the American Boarding House in the snowy ranges of Colorado … standing six foot four and weighing in at 243 pounds ….. THE AMERICAN!!!!”
(SFX: The bell rings)
JIVE: “Listen to the fans as they are loving the show put on by the burlesque dancers! What beauties!”
GHEORGHE: “While my counterpart here is being blinded by the whiskey he’s been drinking during our commercials, this match is has started! Shawn Hart is calling for Scotty Michaels to start the match … but Michaels has instructed the American to start things off.”
JIVE: “Hart wants Michaels, Killer wants American … but it seems that Hart and American will start things off. How anticlimactic.”
GHEORGHE: “American comes after Hart, and Hart trips him up! American gets to his feet, charges at Hart again, and this time Hart connects with a dropkick! The American pounds the mat in disgust. Shawn Hart turns around and hollers at the fans and they respond LOUDLY! Hart turns back around, AND THE AMERICAN kicks him in the stomach …. He locks the arms … BUTTERFLY SUPLEX! And now the American is up boasting in front of the fans .. but not having quite the same reaction.”
JIVE: “The American loves these fans! Even though they’re not as fortunate as him, he loves them.”
GHEORGHE: “Hart now back up and The American tosses him to the ropes, Hart off them and comes back, CLOTH… no, CRUCIFIX BY HART!! ONE …. TWO … KICKOUT by the American! American knicks up .. and HART TAKES HIM DOWN WITH A LEG LARIAT! Scotty Michaels is out yelling at a fan … AND THE AMERICAN TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM HART TAGS HIM IN!!! THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS!”
JIVE: “NO! The American wasn’t supposed to let Shawn Hart get in the ring with Scotty Michaels!”
GHEORGHE: “And now Michaels is PLEADING WITH THE REF! But the ref is telling him to get into the ring! MICHAELS STEPS THROUGH THE ROPES AND HART CHARGES AT HIM!! AND THEY’RE FIGHTING IN THE CORNER!! Hart with a flurry of punches to the head of Scotty Michaels ….. AND THE AMERICAN ELBOWS HIM IN THE FACE! Hart is doubled over… Michaels comes out SPINNING DDT ON HART!”
JIVE: “Thank God for a very alert American. He knew he had to do something to stave off that attack by Hart!”
GHEORGHE: “And now Michaels rakes the eyes of Shawn Hart. He sits on top of him and is pounding Hart in the face as Hart is trying to protect himself. Michaels gets up.. drops the elbow on the sternum. Michaels tags The American back in and he gets out of the ring so he doesn’t have to deal with Hart anymore. The American comes back in as Hart is on his knees. Hart with some punches to the gut of the American.. The American backs off.. Hart to his feet… AMERICAN CHARGES, but HART NAILS HIM WITH A SUPERKICK and the American drops to the mat like a bag of potatoes!”
JIVE: “The American got caught off guard by backing himself up.. and unfortunately Hart had a plan.”
GHEORGHE: “And now Hart tags in Suicidal Killer and the big man STEPS OVER THE TOP ROPE! The American wearily gets back up … AND HE WALKS RIGHT INTO A SIDEWALK SLAM! Killer with the pin .. ONE … TW- KICKOUT by American. Suicidal Killer gets up … and he pulls the hair of The American to bring him up. And now he locks the American in a BEARHUG, trying to push the air out of the American’s lungs!”
JIVE: “He’s trying to kill him, Tom! That’s not fair!”
GHEORGHE: “The ref is checking with the American .. but the American is telling him he doesn’t want to submit. And Suicidal Killer releases the bear hug. Killer now picks up the American …. Throws him against the ropes … BIG BOOT TO THE FACE and the American goes down! And now Suicidal Killer is wrenching his head back in a crossface.”
JIVE: “I must say, I am surprised at the submissions ability shown by Suicidal Killer so far. I thought he was just going to come out and throw his weight and height around.”
GHEORGHE: “Mark that down in the record books.. Nick Jive actually having something nice to say about somebody!”
JIVE: “Well, I figured after Michaels and the American move on to the next round he’s going to need to find something good about his performance in this match..”
GHEORGHE: “And now Suicidal Killer’s crossface turns into a BLATANT CHOKEHOLD and the ref is telling him to release! Suicidal Killer gets up and tags in Shawn Hart and now Hart goes over to the American to work him over.. Hart drops the knee in the back of the American .. and now he applies a CROSSFACE OF HIS OWN!”
JIVE: “Jeez, the American can’t get a break even for a second! After all he’s done for these people!”
GHEORGHE: “He hasn’t done anything at all for Suicidal Killer and Shawn Hart! What are you talking about?!”
JIVE: “Well the American kept Suicidal Killer busy leading up to the show tonight ….”
GHEORGHE: “And I guess he should get a gold medal for that?”
JIVE: “Well, if Scotty Michaels weren’t his partner, I’d say he should get the New ERA World title!”
GHEORGHE: “Well, if Scotty Michaels and the American make it to the Final Four of the Battle Bowl tournament, they can fight it out for the title in the battle royal! But right now they gotta get through ‘the Phenom’ and the huge Suicidal Killer. I’d say Suicidal Killer is a big advantage in the column of Hart.”
JIVE: “Do you remember El Gigante?”
GHEORGHE: “Barely..”
JIVE: “EXACTLY.”
GHEORGHE: “Hart finally releasing the crossface and he gets up … HART IS GOING UP TOP!! American is still lying the center of the ring ….. HART COMING OFF …. FLYING ELBOW DROP AND HE NAILS THE AMERICAN RIGHT IN THE CHEST!! ONE …… TWO …… THREE! NOOOOOOOO!! The American kicked out at the last second!! WHAT A MOVE BY SHAWN HART!”
JIVE: “What the hell is Suicidal Killer doing?”
GHEORGHE: “Killer has hopped off the apron and pushed one of the bell ringers out of her chair.. Killer now has the chair and gets back on the apron.. HE’s HIDING THE CHAIR BEHIND HIS BACK!”
JIVE: “I cannot believe what I’m seeing. A man hide a chair behind his back and be successful. We must be an equal opportunity employer when it comes to referees!”
GHEORGHE: “Nick, what a horrible thing to say! Scotty Michaels is yelling at the ref to check Suicidal Killer .. and the ref is telling him to calm down …. Hart with an irish whip …. AND SUICIDAL KILLER POPS THE AMERICAN IN THE BACK WITH THE CHAIR!! Killer drops the chair to the ground and the American is LAYED OUT! Hart tags in Suicidal Killer… and .. WHAT … THE … HELL…”
JIVE: “SUICIDAL KILLER IS CLIMBING THE ROPES!!!”
GHEORGHE: “KILLER IS PERCHED ATOP THE ROPES …. HE’s CALCULATING …. KILLER COMES FLYING OFF THE TOP ROPE …. AND the AMERICAN USED THE ROPES TO PULL HIMSELF TO THE OUTSIDE AS KILLER LANDS FACE FIRST INTO THE MAT!!!”
JIVE: “If Killer nailed that, we’d be seeing the American’s obituary to tomorrow’s newspaper!”
GHEORGHE: “Suicidal Killer rolls onto his back and the American is trying to stand up on the outside.. American walks around to the other side … slides in and immediately tags in Michaels. Michaels comes in … measures Killer .. and drops an elbow. Michaels covers him … ONE … TWO—and Killer tosses Michaels ALMOST THREE FEET INTO THE AIR! What a kickout!”
JIVE: “If the American had pinned Suicidal Killer after he missed that splash, there would have been a hell of a better chance to get that pinfall. Too much time went by and as we saw, Killer easily tossed Michaels off like a ragdoll.”
GHEORGHE: “Michaels quickly back up as Killer is on his knees…. Killer on his knees IS AT MICHAELS CHEST! Michaels … DROPKICKS KILLER IN THE FACE … BUT KILLER ONLY WOBBLES! MICHAELS AGAINST THE ROPES ….. CLOTHESLINE …. BUT KILLER IS STILL UP!!”
JIVE: “What is it going to take to get him down?”
GHEORGHE: “I don’t know, Nick, but now Michaels is HEADING UP TOP!! Killer getting up …. MICHAELS FLIES OFF … BUT KILLER CATCHES HIM …….. He now rearranges Michaels a little…”
JIVE: “Michaels has a look of pure terror on his face!”
GHEORGHE: “SPINEBUSTER AS KILLER DRIVES MICHAELS BACK INTO THE MAT FROM AT LEAST 8 FEET IN THE AIR!!! The cover …. ONE ….. TWO …. THRE --- NOOOOO, the AMERICAN DROPPED AN ELBOW TO BREAK UP THE PIN… AND NOW KILLER SHOVES THE AMERICAN THROUGH THE ROPES AND TO THE GROUND!!!”
JIVE: “From the mat, Suicidal Killer pushed The American through the ropes with such velocity!!! How are they going to stop this man!”
GHEORGHE: “Suicidal Killer now getting to his feet … and he tags in SHAWN HART! Hart runs in .. and he has Michaels locked in a FIGURE FOUR!! Michaels screams out in pain!”
JIVE: “After the beating Michaels just took from Suicidal Killer, I’d be happy to be stuck in a figure four!”
GHEORGHE: “Michaels is trying to turn the figure four over! He’s rocking back and forth .. but Hart seems to have a firm grasp. Michaels tries again ….. HE’s ALMOST GOT HART OVER!!!! NO! Hart with a poke to the eye stops Michaels’ momentum. Hart releases the figure four and now tags in Suicidal Killer. Killer PICKING UP MICHAELS ….. CHOKESLAMS HIM TO THE GROUND! THE AMERICAN COMES INTO THE RING … AND KILLER WITH A BIG BOOT BRINGS HIM DOWN! AND NOW HART HAS RE-ENTERED THE RING!”
JIVE: “It’s a melee here in Worcester!! There’s so much hatred between Michaels and Hart … and Killer and the American don’t seem so hot either.”
GHEORGHE: “Killer has the American and he manhandles him into the corner.. Shawn Hart has Scotty Michaels … and he’s in the other corner… THEY IRISH WHIP BOTH INTO EACH OTHER …. BUT MICHAELS DUCKS AND THE AMERICAN USES HIS BACK AS A SPRINGBOARD TO DROPKICK SUICIDAL KILLER IN THE HEAD … AND KILLER GOES OVER THE TOP TO THE GROUND!”
CROWD: “N . E . W ! N . E . W !”
JIVE: “I can’t believe it! And neither can Suicidal Killer! Killer is up on his feet and he’s incensed!”
GHEORGHE: “THE AMERICAN FLIES THROUGH THE ROPES ON TOP OF SUICIDAL KILLER BUT KILLER CATCHES HIM!! AND SUICIDAL KILLER NAILS A GUTBUSTER ON THE OUTSIDE!! He turns around … AND MICHAELS FLIES OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE AND FLIES ONTO KILLER … BUT KILLER CATCHES HIM TOO!!!”
JIVE: “Suicidal Killer is taking on both of these guys like I’ve never seen anyone do before!”
GHEORGHE: “KILLER TOSSES MICHAELS OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE MAT! Killer now gets back into the ring … and he tags in SHAWN HART! Hart perches on the top rope ….. KILLER TOSSES HIM ONTO THE STANDING MICHAELS!! And NOW HART IS POUNDING MICHAELS ON THE MAT!”
JIVE: “Suicidal Killer launching Shawn Hart onto Scotty Michaels .. Michaels had no clue what was happening until he saw Hart flying through the air, and by then it was too late!”
GHEORGHE: “The AMERICAN JUST CAME IN THE RING AND NAILED SHAWN HART WITH the DRAGON SCREEN LEGWHIP AND HART’s on the mat! The American … HE HAS A CHAIR .. and HE TOSSES SCOTTY MICHAELS A CHAIR!! Now the American is pointing at SUICIDAL KILLER WHO IS IN THE CORNER.”
JIVE: “The ref has completely lost control of this match. Scotty Michaels and Shawn Hart are the legal men in this match, even though the American and Suicidal Killer are in the ring too.”
GHEORGHE: “Scotty Michaels charges Suicidal Killer with the CHAIR!! KILLER STOPS HIM WITH A KICK TO THE STOMACH ….. BUT HERE COMES THE AMERICAN … THE AMERICAN FLYING AND NAILS SUICIDAL KILLER IN THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR AND THEY BOTH GO FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!!”
JIVE: “The American looked as if he were a jet he had so much air on that!”
GHEORGHE: “SHAWN HART IS ON HIS FEET!! AND MICHAELS DOESN’T SEE HIM AS HE IS WAITING FOR KILLER TO GET UP SO HE CAN NAIL HIM WITH A CHAIR SHOT FROM INSIDE THE RING …..Hart is stomping his foot … and Scotty Michaels is confused … Michaels turns around … EL CODO EXPLOSIVO!!!!! HART COVERS MICHAELS ….. ONE …….. TWO ………. THREE!!!! SHAWN HART HAS BEATEN THE MAN WHO SCREWED HIM OUT OF THE WFW WORLD TITLE!!”
JACOBS: “The winners of this match …. ‘the PHENOM’ Shawn Hart and SUICIDAL KILLER!”
JIVE: “Hart was aware when he got back up and he was just waiting for Michaels … I can’t believe Shawn Hart got back at Michaels like he did.. but its not for the WFW World title, so its ok!”
GHEORGHE: “Shawn Hart is celebrating in the ring appealing to all of the fans here in Worcester …. For Nick Jive .. WAIT A MINUTE!!! SCOTTY MICHAELS HAS THE CHAIR HE DROPPED !!!! HE IS WALKING UP BEHIND SHWAWN HART WHO IS STILL ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE CHEERING FOR THE FANS!!”
Consequences |
GHEORGHE: “SCOTTY MICHAELS JUST PLASTED SHAWN HART IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THAT CHAIR AND HE COMES FALLING OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!”
JIVE: “Michaels is not going to let Shawn Hart feel as if anything has changed from WFW Merrython.”
GHEORGHE: “Michaels now takes the chair …. And he’s placing IT ON SHAWN HART’s THROAT!!! HE’s GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM …. MICHAELS LIFTS THE CHAIR UP! NO, NO, NO!!! MICHAELS JUST DRILLED THAT CHAIR RIGHT INTO THE THROAT OF SHAWN HART!!! Hart is rolling around holding his throat!! SOMEBODY STOP HIM!”
JIVE: “Suicidal Killer won’t be stopping him any time soon … THE AMERICAN HAS USED SOME ELECTRICAL WIRE TO TIE HIM TO THE GUARDRAIL!”
GHEORGHE: “MICHAELS NOW PICKING UP SHAWN HART …. PILEDRIVER ON TOP OF THE CHAIR!! NOW MICHAELS IS GETTING HIS WFW WORLD TITLE ….. MICHAELS IS PLACING THE TITLE ON TOP OF HART’s FACE …… SCOTTY MICHAELS IS GOING UP TOP!!”
JIVE: “The fans here are throwing everything they can get their hands on at Scotty Michaels …. What the hell is he doing?”
GHEORGHE: “I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!! MICHAELS WITH THE SUPERSTAR SMASH DRILLING THE TITLE INTO THE FACE OF SHAWN HART!!! THAT 360 LEGDROP FROM THE TOP ROPE ONTO THE TITLE AND SHAWN HART IS BUSTED OPEN!!!”
JIVE: “Ha, ha, ha! I LOVE IT! Scotty Michaels is going to be a HUGE force to be reckoned with in New ERA …”
GHEORGHE: “Michaels and the American eliminated here tonight, and Scotty Michaels, the current WFW World Champion took exception to the fact that the man he screwed out of that title pinned him here tonight to eliminate him from the New ERA World title BATTLE BOWL tournament!! WHERE THE HELL ARE THE REFEREES!!”
JIVE: “Michaels is clobbering Shawn Hart repeatedly in the head with the WFW World title!”
GHEORGHE: “ And finally the referees are FLOODING THE RING!! FINALLY THIS MADNESS HAS STOPPED!! But Scotty Michaels has utterly DEMOLISHED Shawn Hart … and look at him GLOATING on the top rope ….. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT… FANS, WE’RE OUT OF TIME!!! JOIN US NEXT WEEK FOR THE SUDDEN DEATH ELMINATION MATCHES FROM HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT!!”
(As the camera zooms in on Scotty Michaels, perched on the top rope, holding the WFW World title high in the air. The camera zooms further in on the WFW World Title … the title is dripping red with the blood of Shawn Hart all over it. Fade to the studio.)
(FADETO: Jason Tripp in the studio. He is just putting down a coffee cup as the shot on the background from the 01.29.04 edition of RAUCOUS fades to grey.)
TRIPP: “Many of the matches on this DVD will be those concerning championships; however the following match had to be one of the more … difficult matches to wrestle in. On the July 5, 2006 edition of RAUCOUS, DREDD, the team of “Gentleman” Jonathan Marx and John Doe, took over. This meant that they decided all of the stipulations for every match on the card.”
(Tripp smirks.)
TRIPP: “They had a doozy planned for the Television championship match as MWG was forced to defend his championship against Mr. Entertainment in what was billed as a “Marco Polo match.” Both men were blindfolded at the beginning of the match. DREDD got a kick out of the resulting mayhem. Let us go now to the match coming from Uniondale, New York!”
( continued... )