GHEORGHE: “Apparently we are just moments away from officially kicking off Destrucity II! With the single night tournament to crown a new P©X champion!!!”
JIVE: “Three matches tonight featuring these guys… and with this division, it only takes one match to end a career.”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos, John Doe, Trevor Cane and New ERA newcomer Ashe Corvin will battle it out … two men are about to wrestle now, two men will wrestle later … and the winners of those matches will head into a Ladder match to crown the new champion.”
JULIUS: “Chaos is in his hometown. All the odds are in his favor. The only things left to find out are the two men who will be his guinea pigs.”
GHEORGHE: “The first two matches were randomly drawn before we went on the air … and the only people who know which two men will go out there in just a few seconds are Marcus LaRoque and Jamie Links.”
JIVE: “I tried getting her to tell me, but all I got was a smack in the face.”
JULIUS: “That’s because whenever you come within 5 feet of her you start drooling and professing your love for her.”
JIVE: “That’s not true!”
(Jive looks up in the ring at Links and gives her a shy wave. Links turns her back to him and mouths “ew.”)
GHEORGHE: “While the matches have been pre-selected for these two bouts … the stipulations will be left to chance. Since we’re here in Las Vegas … the roulette wheel will hold the fate of those four men.”
JULIUS: “I hate roulette.”
JIVE: “I always pictured you as a bingo player.”
JULIUS: “Blackjack. It’s all about strategy.”
JIVE: “Video black jack?”
GHEORGHE: “The ring attendants have finished setting up the roulette wheel, and Jamie has the ball in her hand … let’s cut to her and get this underway!”
(The camera cuts to Jamie Links in the ring. In one hand she holds the microphone, in the other, she holds a roulette ball.)
LINKS: “Ladies and gentlemen …. Welcome to New ERA of Wrestling DESTRUCITY II!”
(SFX: Huge pop.)
LINKS: “The opening bout … is scheduled for one fall … and is the first match of the single night tournament to crown a NEW PRODIGY© CLASSIC XTREME CHAMPION!”
(SFX: Huge pop.)
LINKS: “Earlier in the evening … New ERA President Marcus LaRoque randomly chose two names. Those two men will be the wrestlers competing right now!”
(SFX: More pops.)
LINKS: “Before I introduce them … we will discover the match that they will battle through… in front of me right now is a roulette wheel. On the wheel are TWENTY stipulations. In just a moment I will have the referee spin the wheel … and then I will drop the ball onto the roulette wheel. When it lands on a spot, I will take the slip of paper off the wheel …. And the two men, all you here at the MGM Grand Garden Arena (cheap pop) and the millions of people watching at home will find out! HERE .. WE .. GO!”
(SFX: HUGE POP as the referee spins the roulette wheel. After a few seconds, Links drops the ball and watches as it bounces around.)
GHEORGHE: “I wonder what stipulations are on the board?”
JIVE: “Hopefully a “Strip the Ring Announcer” match!”
JULIUS: “Followed by the “File a Restraining Order” match?”
JIVE: “Nope, that already happened last night.”
GHEORGHE: “The ball rolling around …. And it lands on the double 0!”
(Links reaches forward and lifts up the slip of paper before opening it.)
LINKS: “The following match …….”
(One could hear a pin drop right about now.)
LINKS: “IS A FLAMING TABLES MATCH!”
(SFX: HUGE pop from the crowd!)
GHEORGHE: “FLAMING TABLES?!”
JIVE: “I hope the Las Vegas fire department is on call!”
LINKS: “Now for the combatants….. introducing first….”
(CUEUP: “Who Are You” by the Who. The fans begin to jeer heavily as a blurred face of a male comes on screen followed by “New ERA” flashing over it. John Doe steps onto the stage, a huge smile across his mug.)
GHEORGHE: “JOHN DOE!”
LINKS: “He stands six foot one and weighs 210 pounds ……. From parts unknown……. A former P©X CHAMPION …… JOHN ……. DOE!”
(Blue fireworks go off and run down the rampway as “JOHN DOE” flashes on screen. Doe struts down to the ring passing ring attendants who have been placing tables around the ring.)
GHEORGHE: “Doe had a LOT to say during the lead up to Destrucity II … and he’s about to show whether or not he can back it all up!”
JIVE: “Wouldn’t it be fantastic if Trevor Cane was his opponent? He derided him for having a subpar record… Cane beating Doe in a flaming tables match would be ice.”
LINKS: “And his opponent……”
(The lights go out.)
LINKS: “Hailing…… FROM LAAAAS VEGGGGGAS, NEVADA!!!!”
(SFX: THE ROOF BLOWS OFF! The crowd hop to their feet!)
JULIUS: “HO-LY SHIT.”
(CUEUP: “Two Shots of Happy, One Shot of Sad” by Matt Dusk. Track lights on the rampway flash bright and a lightweel behind the big screen starts rotating.)
LINKS: “HE STANDS 7 FEET, WEIGHS 305 pounds…. AND IS A THREE TIME PRODIGY© CLASSIC XTREME CHAMPION……”
(SFX: The fans haven’t stopped popping … drowning out Links.)
JIVE: “John Doe looks like he’s been hit by a truck!”
(SFX: BEEEEEEEEP! The curtains open and a chorus line of Vegas Showgirls strut out, smiles on their faces, and begin to make their way to the ring. Behind them, a Home Depot truck slowly drives onto the entranceway. Chaos standing in the back, his arms raised high in the air as the fans begin to chant “CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS!” Next to him, singing “Two Shots of Happy, One Shot of Sad” LIVE is Matt Dusk. The lineup comes on screen.)
JIVE: “CHAOS IS HERE!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos is the hometown hero …. And the fans here haven’t let up one bit!”
JULIUS: “And making an entrance only a Vegas boy can!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos and John Doe …. A flaming tables match ….. if things between these two haven’t been heated enough …. This arena could go down in flames!”
JIVE: “John Doe in the ring … and he can’t believe it!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos, Dusk, and the showgirls around the ring … and finally they take their leave! Chaos high fives Dusk.. and he’s walking on the top of the truck and hops down into the ring!”
JULIUS: “Doe is fucked. Hardcore.”
JIVE: “Chaos has a huge smile on his face … whereas Doe’s has disappeared down his throat!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORHGE: “AND THERE IS THE BELL!”
JULIUS: “Chaos standing across the ring from John Doe… and he raises his arm in the air.”
(SFX: Huge pop!)
GHEORGHE: “Chaos slowly walking towards Doe …. And John Doe backing up…”
JULIUS: “The dumbass is backing himself right into the corner!”
GHEORGHE: “Doe hits the turnbuckle pads and he realizes the predicament! Chaos comes in ... but Doe ducks underneath his grab! John Doe with a quick shot to the side … but Chaos turns and comes at him again!”
JIVE: “Doe may have snuck a victory over Chaos on RAUCOUS … and he may argue until he’s blue in the face over whether that was Chaos’ brother who cost him the match .. but he will not get the victory tonight if that’s all he has in him!”
GHEORGHE: “Doe backing up … he rebounds against the ropes … AND CHARGES RIGHT INTO CHAOS!”
(SFX: Fans pop!)
JULIUS: “And he sent himself to the mat!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos standing tall as John Doe crashes to the mat… Doe back to his feet … and he goes to the opposite ropes …. AND CRASHES INTO CHAOS AGAIN!”
JULIUS: “Chaos didn’t budge… I’m not quite sure what Doe is trying to do… because it ain’t working!”
GHEORGHE: “John Doe trying this again …. He comes back .. CHAOS WITH THE BOOT TO THE FA.. NO! Doe ducked! AND JOHN DOW WITH A LOW BLOW!”
JIVE: “That’ll do it.”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos holding himself … and Doe races to the corner! John Doe perched on the top …. AND FLIES OFF WITH THE MISSILE DROPKICK!”
JIVE: “Chaos dropped to one knee!”
GHEORGHE: “John Doe against the ropes again … comes back .. AND NAILS THE RUNNING HIGH KNEE! Chaos putting his hands on the mat … but he’s still on his knee!”
JULIUS: “Doe getting some more confidence right now … he’s got to keep on the offensive..”
GHEORGHE: “This is a flaming tables match … and there are PLENTY of tables around the ring right now!”
JIVE: “Doe going up top again!”
GHEORGHE: “John Doe on the top rope …. AND FLIES OFF WITH THE DOUBLE AXEHANDLE!”
(SFX: Fans jeer hardcore!)
JIVE: “And Chaos goes down on his stomach!”
GHEORGHE: “Doe against the ropes … he comes back … and punts Chaos right in the….”
(SFX: Huge pop!)
GHEORGHE: “NO! Chaos sweeps the leg out from underneath Doe! Chaos now on top of Doe …. AND HE BEGINS TO POUND AWAY!”
JULIUS: “Fists from Chaos are like missiles. Then again, John Doe already looks like he made out with a hand grenade.”
GHEORGHE: “Dean!”
JULIUS: “…”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos getting to his feet … and he yanks Doe up by the hair! Chaos now sending Doe to the ropes … John Doe on the return …. AND CHAOS TAKES HIM DOWN WITH THE SPINEBUSTER!”
JULIUS: “John Doe almost put right through the mat!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos getting on his feet … and the crowd is going crazy.”
JIVE: “Chaos could sneeze and these fans would cheer.”
GHEORGHE: “The big man walking to the ropes …. AND NOW HE STEPS OVER THEM!”
JULIUS: “Match ain’t over, buddy!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos hops down…. And he is grabbing a table!”
JIVE: “Make that two!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos tossing two tables into the ring… and he’s going for a third!”
JULIUS: “Heh, one of the tables landed rightside up!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos giving a few of the fans in the front row some high fives…”
JIVE: “Chaos better get back into the ring quickly because Doe is getting to his feet!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos folding up a table now … and he slides that one into the ring! There are three tab…”
(SFX: CROWD JEERS!)
GHEORGHE: “HOLY HELL!!!!”
(SFX: CRASH~!~!~!~!)
GHEORGHE: “JOHN DOE!!! DOE!!!”
JIVE: “Wowza!”
GHEORGHE: “DOE CHARGING THE TABLE AND HE CATAPULTED HIMSELF OFF THE TABLE IN THE RING AND NAILED CHAOS WITH A CORKSCREW PLANCHA TO THE OUTSIDE!”
JULIUS: “Doe might be retarded, but he can fly!”
GHEORGHE: “Both men on the arena floor! Chaos caught all of that move!”
JULIUS: “He wasn’t expecting that!”
GHEORGHE: “… CHAOS IS PUSHING HIMSELF UP!”
(SFX: Crowd explodes!)
GHEORGHE: “He pushes Doe off of him …. And Chaos trying his dandiest to get on his feet!”
JULIUS: “He does try dandily doesn’t he?”
GHEORGHE: “Oh stop!”
JULIUS: “You’re the one who’s making up words!”
GHEORGHE: “Oh, c’mon. CHAOS IS UP! Chaos on his feet …. And JOHN DOE is starting to move!”
JULIUS: “These two have a long history together … and now, to have them battling it out to see who’ll go into the finals of this tournament … in the opening match on Destrucity II … absolutely explosive.”
GHEORGHE: “John Doe grabbing the waistline of Chaos …. And he’s trying to pull up … but Chaos with a forearm across the back! Chaos now brings Doe to his feet … and he sends him into the guardrail! No! Reversal by Doe! Chaos crashes into the guardrail.”
JIVE: “Doe not too far behind!”
GHEORGHE: “JOHN DOE CHARGING IN … AND … NO! CHAOS PUT UP THE BOOT AND DOE RUNS RIGHT INTO IT!”
JULIUS: “Doe’s body is at the guardrail, but his head is rolling towards the ramp!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos bends down and grabs Doe off the arena floor …. And he’s bringing him over to the ringpost …. And slams him head first into the steel post!”
JULIUS: “If Doe was smart, he’d be getting out of there right now.”
GHEORGHE: “Doe walking away … but Chaos right behind him … and he slams Doe’s face into the apron! Chaos ..”
JIVE: “Now where the hell is he going? He’s leaving Doe resting on the apron..”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos now over to the bell keeper… and he pushes him off his chair … and now he takes the chair from the attendant! Chaos has both chairs … and he tosses them over the top rope into the ring!”
JULIUS: “There are three tables in there already!”
JIVE: “He’s got something planned. Chaos’ mind is always turning…”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos coming back around … and just in time to watch Doe roll into the ring!”
JULIUS: “He got the weapons, but lost the target!”
GHEORGHE: “Doe pulling himself up with the ropes as Chaos slides into the ring … and Doe driving the boots into the head of Chaos! Chaos still managing to get to his feet as Doe now begins driving the forearms ….”
JIVE: “Chaos not staying down … and he grabs Doe!”
GHEORGHE: “CHAOS THROWING DOE ACROSS THE RING! Doe crashes into one of the tables!”
JIVE: “Doe and the table go skimming across the ring ..”
GHEORGHE: “Doe scrambling to his feet as Chaos comes at him … Doe somersaults out of the way and is on his feet … against the ropes … AND FLIES OFF WITH THE FLYING FOREARM!”
JULIUS: “Chaos wavering … but not down!”
GHEORGHE: “John Doe with boots to the knee … and Chaos wobbling even more… Doe against the ropes behind Chaos … and comes back clipping the knee …. And down goes Chaos!”
JIVE: “Chaos almost hitting his head on that table, but luckily he was just inches short!”
JULIUS: “Very lucky considering Chaos is seven feet tall.”
GHEORGHE: “John Doe up…. And he sees one of the chairs….. and he grabs it!”
JIVE: “Now is not the time to rest, you idiot!”
GHEORGHE: “… he’s not going to rest, Nick.”
JULIUS: “Just let him go…”
GHEORGHE: “Doe lifting the chair ….. AND SLAMS IT DOWN ACROSS THE KNEE!”
(SFX: Fans begin jeering heavily!)
GHEORGHE: “Doe AGAIN with the chair shot!”
JULIUS: “Doe sets the chair up … and now he’s setting the other chair up!”
JIVE: “Doe looks like he has something big planned.”
GHEORGHE: “John Doe yelling at Chaos to get to his feet ….. Chaos pushing himself off the mat… and he’s up!”
JULIUS: “BUT DOE BOOTED HIM IN THE GUT!”
GHEORGHE: “DOE WITH THE HEAD OF CHAOS ……”
(SFX: FANS EXPLODE!)
GHEORGHE: “NO! Chaos …. CHAOS LIFTING DOE IN THE AIR ……………..”
(SFX: Fans explode again!)
GHEORGHE: “AND SLAMS HIM THROUGH THE CHAIRS WITH THE SIDE SLAM!!!”
JULIUS: “Good lord! The chairs flip over on top of the two!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos making the cover … I think he forgot momentarily that pinfalls don’t count here.”
JIVE: “Chaos rolls off Doe .. I think he just remembered.”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos sitting up … and the crowd stomping their feet trying to give him the extra boost …. And Chaos is getting to his feet! He is up!”
JULIUS: “A little wobbly thanks to the working over of the knee earlier .. but he’s up.”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos walking over .. and he flips one of the tables on its side … and is closing it up!”
JIVE: “He’s bringing it over to the corner!”
JULIUS: “If he lights that on fire in the corner .. the ring ropes could go up in flames! This is a flaming tables match, not a damn inferno match!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos rests the table against the turnbuckle pads …. AND HE’s GOING FOR ANOTHER!”
JULIUS: “Doe is moving to the ropes!”
GHEORGHE: “Doe moving, and Chaos folds up a second table ……. And he is placing it right in front of the first folded table in the corner!”
JIVE: “Doe sees Chaos turning … and he lies back down on the mat! He’s playing opossum!”
GHEORGHE: “The fans in the crowd trying to warn him … but Chaos walking straight over to John Doe …. Chaos grabbing Doe by the head …. AND DOE WITH THE LOW BLOW!”
JIVE: “Doe hooks the head … OH GOD! DDT right onto one of those chairs!”
GHEORGHE: “Doe with that move, but he is on the mat still! He can’t capitalize!”
JULIUS: “Doe took the side slam through those chairs … Chaos now DDT’ed onto one of them … and we haven’t even seen a hint of a fire yet!”
GHEORGHE: “I don’t even want to begin thinking of what is in store for the future, Dean.”
JIVE: “The crowd hasn’t shut up since this match began … and now they’re even louder!”
GHEORGHE: “They’re about to get a hell of a lot louder, Nick!”
(SFX: Crowd pops HUGE.)
JULIUS: “Chaos just turned himself over … and it looks like he’s getting up!”
GHEORGHE: “CHAOS IS ON HIS FEET! CHAOS IS UP… and HE IS HEADING TO THE TABLES IN THE CORNER!”
JIVE: “One of the tables slipped out of place during the DDT … and Chaos is on his way to fix it. He’s going right back to wh…”
(SFX: FANS JEER!!)
GHEORGHE: “JOHN DOE!!! DOE KIPPED UP!!!! CHAOS OBLIVIOUS!”
JULIUS: “He has his back to him!”
GHEORGHE: “Doe to the middle of the ring … and he’s sizing u…. OH HELL!!! CHAOS TURNED RIGHT INTO A SPEAR BY DOE …. AND GOES CRASHING THROUGH THE TWO TABLES!!!”
(SFX: Crowd chants “YOU SUCK, YOU SUCK!”)
JULIUS: “Chaos turned and couldn’t react as Doe charged in … and now they’re amidst the ruins of those tables that Chaos, himself, set up!”
GHEORGHE: “Although they went through the tables, I must repeat that this is a flaming tables match … the only way to defeat your opponent is to put him through a table that has been lit on fire…”
JULIUS: “Well right now I can’t see either guy making it to that point!”
GHEORGHE: “The table is covering both men … all I can see are four legs!”
JIVE: “It might be better that we can’t see the carnage.”
JULIUS: “You know … Ashe Corvin and Trevor Cane right now are probably in the back licking their lips …”
GHEORGHE: “Unless the roulette table gives them an even worse match, Dean! No one knows what else is on the roulette wheel!”
JIVE: “Anything that takes Chaos down a few notches certainly makes the future of Corvin or Cane much brighter.”
GHEORGHE: “That is even if Chaos makes it to the finals!”
JIVE: “HA! You should get a job in Vegas doing standup!”
GHEORGHE: “I wasn’t … joking?”
JIVE: “Oh.”
(SFX: FANS POP! Then jeer!)
GHEORGHE: “WAIT!! JOHN DOE!! DOE IS CRAWLING OUT OF THE RING!”
JULIUS: “Chaos took the brunt of the spear and the tables … but John Doe ain’t looking too hot right now, either.”
GHEORGHE: “Doe on the outside… and he falls to a knee!”
JIVE: “The PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme championship is the ultimate goal … and no matter how bad things look, you can bet that all four of the guys in the single night tournament are going to battle through anything to get the chance to be called champ.”
GHEORGHE: “I agree, Nick.”
JIVE: “I’m going to make that my signature on all the webforums I frequent.”
JULIUS: “I don’t think the people on the porn forums even know who Gheorghe is.”
GHEORGHE: “Doe … he’s getting back up.”
(SFX: Fans EXPLODE!)
GHEORGHE: “AND CHAOS NOW PUSHING THE TABLES OFF OF HIM!! HE’s AWAKE!”
JIVE: “John Doe is quickly rounding up tables out there!”
JULIUS: “Doe is setting up a table right on the outside…. And … now he’s grabbing a second..... and he's putting it behind the first….”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos sitting up … and John Doe … DOE IS GRABBING A THIRD TABLE!”
JIVE: “What the hell does he have planned here?!”
GHEORGHE: “John Doe stabilizing the third table …. AND HE LIFTS IT UP AND PLACES IT ON THE SECOND!”
JIVE: “Chaos is looking around … but he doesn’t see Doe anywhere!”
GHEORGHE: “MY GOD!! DOE HAS A FOURTH TABLE …….. AND HE IS PLACING IT ON TOP OF THE FIRST!”
JULIUS: “He has FOUR tables set up right now! Two on top in the front, two on top in the back!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos turns … and he sees Doe! Chaos struggling to get to his feet … AND DOE IS ON THE APRON!”
JULIUS: “Chaos is up… and he’s heading towards John Doe!”
GHEORGHE: “Doe through the middle rope driving the shoulder into Chaos’ gut …. BUT CHAOS CATCHES HIS HEAD! CHAOS PULLING JOHN DOE INTO THE RING!”
JIVE: “Thank God … who knows what Doe had planned for Chaos!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos picks up Doe … and he slams the knee in the midsection… Chaos takes a few steps back …. AND HE DRIVES THE BIG BOOT…”
(SFX: Crowd gasps!)
GHEORGHE: “DOE DUCKED! CHAOS’s FOOT GOES OVER THE TOP… AND HE IS STRADDLING THE ROPES!”
JULIUS: “No he isn’t! Chaos just brought himself to the outside!”
GHEORGHE: “JOHN DOE IS UP …. AND HE GRABS CHAOS’ HEAD!”
(SFX: HUGE POP!)
GHEORGHE: “BUT CHAOS WITH A LEFT HOOK NAILS DOE!!! AND NOW HE HOOKS DOE…………………… OH MY GOD!”
