JACOBS: “The following match is scheduled for one fall … and is New ERA’s MAIN EVENT for the first night of WrestleSTOCK …. and it is for the New ERA of Wrestling WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!”
(SFX: Crowd pops!)
JACOBS: “Introducing first …”
(CUEUP: “White and Nerdy” by Weird Al Yankovic. Sherman Wentworth and Tyler Hensen enter through the curtains to a huge pop from the crowd and walk towards the ring. As they do, a huge array of fireworks goes off behind them, causing Wentworth to jump forward a little bit and glance over at Hensen, whose laughing.)
JACOBS: “Weighing in at a combined weight of 415 pounds …. SHERMAN WENTWORTH … TYLER HENSEN …. BORED … OF EDUKASHUN!”
GHEORGHE: “Can you just imagine the history that will be made tonight .. after three years with no tag team championship belts .. Bored of Edukashun could be New ERA’s first World Tag Team champions!”
JIVE: “And if they can do so by defeating quite possibly the most talented two wrestlers I have ever seen team together … that’d be .. well .. that’d be a damn near miracle.”
JACOBS: “And their opponents ….”
(CUEUP: “Carpe Diem Baby” by Metallica as the rampway leading from the entrance explodes with a cascade of fireworks that flow from the top of the ramp down, and then connects to the ring, domino’ing around and splitting off around each side as it lights up the night air.)
GHEORGHE: “WOW!”
JACOBS: “Weighing in at a combined weight of 505 pounds … “The Ego Buster” DAN RYAN … and the current EPW World Heavyweight champion “the Queen of the Ring” LINDSAY TROY …… THE … INNER …. CIRCLE!”
(Troy and Ryan enter through the curtains to a HUGE POP as the fans, although they may not like them, are in absolute awe of the tandem. Ryan walks to the ring with Troy next to him, and both hop onto the apron before stepping into the ring. They stand side by side staring at Bored of Edukashun, and then at the World Tag Team Championships.)
GHEORGHE: “That’s what this is for … and by God .. I can already feel history being made.”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORGHE: “AND THIS MATCH IS UNDERWAY!”
JULIUS: “Jesus, Gheorghe .. lay off the Viagra .. it’s causing you to get wayyyy too excited.”
GHEORGHE: “Sherman Wentworth and Dan Ryan are going to start things off it seems..”
JIVE: “You don’t expect to see Troy in the match any time soon, do you?”
GHEORGHE: “Of course I do!”
JIVE: “You’re more gullible than I thought then.”
GHEORGHE: “Dan Ryan standing in the middle of the ring just staring a hole into his opponent … and Wentworth is slowly making his way back to his corner to talk strategy with Hensen.”
JULIUS: “He’s only delaying the inevitable.”
GHEORGHE: “They break and Wentworth making his way back to the center of the ring .. but Ryan stops him short! Ryan with a big boot to the head floors Wentworth to the mat!”
JIVE: “Wentworth better get comfy, because he’s going to be seeing a lot of the mat in this match.”
GHEORGHE: “Wentworth holding his face as he sits up .. and Ryan comes at him again, this time stomping down on the chest! Ryan repeatedly stomping on the chest of Sherman Wentworth and things are not starting off on the right foot for the young man from Tampa.”
JULIUS: “Dan Ryan is a beast … that’s like an eighteen wheeler coming down on your sternum.”
GHEORGHE: “Ryan reaches down and grabs Wentworth off the mat … and he sends him flying into the ropes… I don’t think that Wentworth’s feet hit the mat before he got to the ropes! Wentworth on the return … AND RYAN WITH A HUUUUUGE CLOTHESLINE SENDS WENTWORTH 360 DEGREES TO THE MAT!”
JIVE: “Ryan not showing any emotion whatsoever. This is a warm up for him.”
GHEORGHE: “Wentworth sitting up holding his neck .. and now he’s trying to make his way to the corner to tag in his partner! But Dan Ryan grabs onto his leg … and he pulls him back into the middle of the ring. Ryan now driving his knee into the small of the back .. and he leaves it there as he reaches forward and slips the forearm underneath the chin of his opponent.”
JIVE: “The referee would usually check to make sure that there wasn’t a choke going on, but this referee wisely keeping his nose out of where it don’t belong.”
GHEORGHE: “Ryan’s forearm does look awfully close to the throat .. and I think he is choking Wentworth! Wentworth’s arms just began to flail around … AND HERE COMES HIS PARTNER! Tyler Hensen jumps into the ring … and he bounces off the ropes .. AND DROPKICKS RYAN IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Dan Ryan releases the hold …”
(SFX: FANS POP HUGE.)
JULIUS: “Uh-oh… the Queen of the Ring is getting into the ring!”
GHEORGHE: “LINDSAY TROY’s IN THE RING! Ryan is up and he is backing Hensen up … RIGHT INTO THE EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!”
JIVE: “Hensen doesn’t even kno… well, NOW he does!”
GHEORGHE: “Hensen was backpedalling … and he just slammed right into Troy’s chest..”
JULIUS: “And if that doesn’t make you want to slit your wrists, then you’re a much bigger man that I am.”
GHEORGHE: “Hensen slowwwwllly turns around .. AND TROY LOCKS HER GRASP AROUND HIS THROAT …. AND NOW SHE KNEES HIM IN THE GUT …. DOUBLE UNDERHOOK DDT!”
JIVE: “The referee now stepping in and telling Troy to get out of the ring … and he’s starting to count! He’s threatening to disqualify the Inner Circle!”
JULIUS: “That man has balls of steel apparently.”
JIVE: “Or he’s just plain stupid!”
GHEORGHE: “Troy shrugs her should as she turns and steps through the ropes .. and now Dan Ryan grabs Tyler Hensen from the mat … and easily dumps him over the top rope to the arena floor! Dan Ryan back over to Sherman Wentworth and he makes the cover!! ONE …….. TW—NO! Wentworth kicked out!”
JIVE: “That distraction from Hensen gave Wentworth enough time to compose himself.”
GHEORGHE: “Ryan back to his feet and he drags Wentworth to his corner .. AND RYAN MAKES THE TAG TO THE EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!”
JIVE: “Troy is getting in the ring!”
GHEORGHE: “Now don’t you feel dumb? Troy picks up Wentworth and starts driving those reverse knife edge chops into the chest of her opponent … and she climbs up to the second turnbuckle and starts wailing away!”
CROWD: “THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!”
GHEORGHE: “Troy drops back to the mat, and Wentworth takes about three steps before flopping to the mat. Troy turns .. and she tags Dan Ryan back into the match!”
JIVE: “What a stellar performance… hmph.”
GHEORGHE: “Ryan steps through the ropes …. BUT HE GETS CLOBBERED WITH A FLYING FOREARM FROM TYLER HENSEN OUT OF NOWHERE!”
JULIUS: “Jesus Christ .. where did he come from?”
GHEORGHE: “Troy is halfway through the ropes … BUT HENSEN GRABS TROY BY THE HAIR AND YANKS HER BACK IN THE RING! Hensen … Hensen with a boot to the gut … SWINGING DDT! Hensen grabbing the legs of Troy … and nails a wheelbarrow suplex!”
JIVE: “Now the referee should be getting him out of the ring! This is blatant favoritism!”
GHEORGHE: “The referee stepping in .. but Dan Ryan is up! Ryan steaming mad as he charges as Hensen … AND HENSEN DUCKS UNDERNEATH THE CLOTHESLINE …. AND RYAN NAILS THE REFEREE!!!”
JIVE: “He’s out cold .. this match might never end!”
GHEORGHE: “Ryan turns around .. and walks right into a Hensen dropkick … BUT RYAN STANDS THERE UNPHASED!”
JULIUS: “Dan Ryan is a beast, I tell you .. that dropkick did nothing!”
JIVE: “Sherman Wentworth is back up! Dan Ryan doesn’t notice him!”
GHEORGHE: “But Hensen does! Ryan motioning to Hensen to bring it … Wenworth charges from behind … AND HENSEN DROPKICKS RYAN AS WENTWORTH CLIPS HIS KNEE FROM BEHIND! Ryan sent flipping onto his stomach in the ring … and now Bored of Edukashun are stomping away on one half of the Inner Circle!”
JIVE: “But Lindsay Troy is on her feet! Troy grabbing both members of Bored of Edukashun from behind!”
GHEORGHE: “Troy grabs their heads … but Hensen and Wentworth block Troy’s attempt to bash their skulls together … AND THEY CONNECT WITH A DOUBLE HEADBUTT ON TROY THAT SENDS HER FALLING TO THE OUTSIDE!”
JULIUS: “Troy rolling to the guardrail, and Bored of Edukashun go back and focus their joint efforts on Ryan .. they’re trying to get in as much damage as possible while the referee is conked out.”
GHEORGHE: “Ryan getting to his feet … but Tyler Hensen quick to stop him with a European uppercut … and Sherman Wentworth charges into the corner … he’s climbing to the top as Hensen grabs Ryan’s head …. Hensen nails the swinging neckbreaker … AND HERE COMES SHERMAN WENTWORTH OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH THE TWISTING CORKSCREW SPLASH!!”
JULIUS: “HOT DAMN. Bored of Edukashun hitting that move .. I believe it’s called ‘Swirly’.. but it’s a hell of a move .. and they just executed it on a hell of an opponent.”
GHEORGHE: “Both members of BoEd grabbing Dan Ryan … and now all three men running to the ropes .. and Bored of Edukashun send Dan Ryan flying over the top rope to the arena floor!”
JIVE: “INCOMING!”
GHEORGHE: “LINDSAY TROY SEES RYAN HURTLING TOWARDS HER AND SHE BARELY PUSHES HERSELF OFF THE GUARDRAIL AND OUT OF THE WAY!”
JIVE: “That could have been disastrous for her match coming up tonight.”
GHEORGHE: “Troy still has to defend her Empire Pro World Heavyweight Championship tonight against Joey Melton .. and what a match to end Day #1 of EPW / NEW WrestleSTOCK! She’s held the EPW World Heavyweight Championship for over two years now!”
JULIUS: “You know that Melton was in the back right now just praying that Ryan squashed her to smithereens.”
GHEORGHE: “The referee is still lying in the center of the ring as Hensen and Wentworth slide out after the Inner Circle .. they walk over and start laying the boots into Dan Ryan against the guardrail … and here comes Troy! Troy on her feet .. and she spins Hensen around .. AND SLAMS HER FIST RIGHT INTO HIS FACE! Hensen goes down to the arena floor!”
JIVE: “Bored of Edukashun forgot to turn their attention to Troy who had a little breather on the outside .. not like she needed one.”
GHEORGHE: “Wentworth looks down at Hensen, and then his attention shoots up to Troy … BUT NOT IN TIME AS TROY LEVELS HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE!”
JULIUS: “With the referee still out this match could get messy on the outside!”
GHEORGHE: “And I think it’s about to .. because Lindsay Troy has just grabbed a chair! Tyler Hensen getting back to his feet …”
(SFX: Crowd groans!)
GHEORGHE: “AND TROY WITH THE STERILIZER … THAT CHAIR SHOT RIGHT TO THE GROIN OF TYLER HENSEN! Hensen holding himself … and Troy sets the chair down … the Queen of the Ring grabs Hensen from behind …. AND GERMAN SUPLEXES HIM RIGHT ONTO THE CHAIR! BY GOD THE CHAIR JUST SNAPPED!”
JULIUS: “I think that was Hensen’s back snapping … not the chair.”
GHEORGHE: “Dan Ryan now getting to his feet and he looks at Troy .. and he smiles … Ryan now grabbing Sherman Wentworth .. and he sends him into the guardrail … Ryan charges in after him … AND DRILLS THE KNEE RIGHT INTO THE STOMACH! Wentworth falls to the arena floor .. and Ryan grabs his own chair!”
JULIUS: “Wait! The referee is stirring in the ring!”
GHEORGHE: “He’s missed far too much already … but he finally is pulling himself over to the ropes where all the action is going on..”
JIVE: “Good! Just in time to have the Inner Circle roll one of Bored of Edukashun into the ring and win the Championships!”
GHEORGHE: “I don’t even remember who the legal man is!”
JIVE: “Does it matter?!”
GHEORGHE: “Ryan now calling over to Lindsay Troy to assist him .. and he’s picking up Wentworth … Troy now over .. and Dan Ryan is handing the chair to the EPW World Heavyweight champion!”
JULIUS: “Wait a minute .. is the referee .. counting?!”
GHEORGHE: “He is! The referee is starting his ten count on .. I guess it’d be both teams!”
JIVE: “Who cares! Inner Circle is about to knock Sherman Wentworth through the goal posts!”
GHEORGHE: “Ryan holding Wentworth in position as Troy winds up …. AND LINDSAY TROY SLAMM… NO!! WENTWORTH DIVES OUT OF THE WAY!”
JULIUS: “But Troy stops in the nick of time! She almost nailed Ryan with the chair … but was able to put the brakes on!”
JIVE: “HENSEN!! WAT…”
(SFX: CROWD POPS HUGE.)
GHEORGHE: “TYLER HENSEN JUST RAN RIGHT INTO LINDSAY TROY …. AND THE MOMENTUM JUST CAUSED TROY TO SMASH THE CHAIR RIGHT INTO THE FACE OF DAN RYAN! ALL THREE GO DOWN!”
JIVE: “Dammit! Hensen saw Wentworth in trouble and threw all caution to the wind .. but he ended up helping his team out in the end!”
GHEORGHE: “All four members of this match are on the aren…”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JULIUS: “What the hell?!”
GHEORGHE: “Wait a minute .. I think the referee just called for the bell!”
JULIUS: “He disqualified Bored of Edukashun!”
JIVE: “YES! A WIN IS A WIN!”
(Carl Jacobs walks over to the ring where the referee still lies and listens to him before nodding.)
JACOBS: “The result of this match …. due to ALL FOUR competitors being outside of the ring for the referee’s ten count …. IS A DOUBLE … COUNT OUT!”
(SFX: Crowd jeers!!)
GHEORGHE: “A double count out?!”
JACOBS: “Therefore … the New ERA of Wrestling World Tag Team Championships … REMAIN VACANT!”
(SFX: Crowd jeers HARDCORE~!)
JIVE: “This isn’t fair!! Inner Circle was just about to get into the ring! I swear I watched them mouth it!”
GHEORGHE: “But .. what happens to the World Tag Team Championship tournament?!”
JULIUS: “I don’t know .. and I don’t see either LaRoque or Marceau coming down the rampway to clear things up, either!”
GHEORGHE: “Bored of Edukashun and the Inner Circle both got counted out here tonight in East Rutherford … in the finals of the World Tag Team Championship tournament! The titles are still vacant … and I have no clue what happens now!”
JIVE: “Let’s base this on amateur wrestling .. based on my calculations .. the Inner Circle won across the board!”
GHEORGHE: “This isn’t amateur wrestling .. and both teams put on a show … but we’re still without World Tag Team champions!”
JULIUS: “The referee is grabbing the championships … and he’s heading up the rampway…”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen .. I don’t know what to say … I don’t think we’re going to find out tonight what’s going on … but I can tell you one thing .. the night’s not over … and we’re going to send you over to our EPW counterparts for their main event of the evening!”
