JIVE: “What’s this?”
(From the curtain comes Juliet Marceau. She walks to the ring with a determined look on her face wearing a tight mini skirt and boots that go up to her knees. Some of the fans on the sides try to touch her, but she gives them a look of death as she walks by. She enters the ring and takes the mic from Carl Jacobs’ hand.)
MARCEAU: “Oh don’t think I’m going to let LaRoque get all the fun here tonight.”
(The fans boo as she pauses)
MARCEAU: “If Jared Wells thought he was screwed when he attacked his teammate before the match, then he’s got another thing coming. Because I’ve just signed it for next RAUCOUS coming to you live from the Hartford Civic Centre in Hartford, Connecticut. That’s right … Wells, you’re going to have to take on a very pissed Pyro after he finds out who attacked him before the match!”
GHEORGHE: “Marceau has signed WELLS v PYRO as one of the sudden death elimination matches from the Television Championship tournament!”
JIVE: “Marceau is a genius! She is going to make Wells pay for his stupidity earlier!”
MARCEAU: “Maybe next time you’ll be a little bit more careful who you decide to attack. So you better be ready because I’m sure Pyro will be looking for some revenge for you taking away his chance at becoming the first New ERA World Champion!”
(CUEUP: “Violet” by Hole as Marceau hands the microphone back to Carl Jacobs and leaves the ring to a round of boos. Some little can be seen thrown at her from the fans.)
JIVE: “How disrespectful! They shouldn’t treat a woman like that!”
GHEORGHE: “How can you sit there and scold the fans for throwing trash at a woman, when just five minutes ago you were googling the topless Lilly?”
JIVE: “It’s called selective morals, Tom.”
GHEORGHE: “More like no morals. Let’s send this over to Carl Jacobs to get the next match started!”
(The next match lineup flashes on the bottom of the screen as the camera cuts to Carl Jacobs standing in the middle of the ring.)
JACOBS: “The following tag team match is for ONE fall and is the THIRD of our BATTLE BOWL MANIA tournament matches! Introducing first ...”
(CUEUP: 'Tunak Tunak Tun' by Daler Mehndi. The stage lights start flashing all different colors of the rainbow and El Arco Iris comes sprinting from backstage with a huge smile on his face, slapping fans hands and giving some a hug. He rolls into the ring and gives Carl Jacobs a hug.)
JACOBS: “Hailing from the end of the Rainbow … the master of the Happy Dance … he is … EL ARCO IRIS!”
(The fans pop huge at the mention of his name.)
GHEORGHE: “And the fans love El Arco Iris!”
(CUEUP: “Karma” by Diffuser as the lights turn down and blue and green spotlights form the word ‘Tact’ on the crowd. The crowd pops as Larry Tact comes through the curtain and looks around. He walks down to the apron, hops on it and gets inside.)
JACOBS: “And his partner … from Manhatten, New York ….. LARRY TACT!!!”
JIVE: “Great.. we got Mr. Rainbow Lover and his friend Mr. Determination.”
JACOBS: “And their opponents… first …”
(CUEUP: “Bad to the Bone” by George Thorogood. Brody Hansen comes through the curtain dragging a stretch behind him.)
JIVE: “Hansen is bringing a stretcher down to ringside!”
GHEORGHE: “Obviously trying to send a message to Tact and Iris..”
JACOBS: “From Loco, Oklahoma. Weighing in at 275 pounds and standing 6’5.. BRODY HANSEN!!!”
(CUEUP: “Dogs of War” by Pink Floyd. ‘the Wolf’ Chris McMillan slowly comes down to the ring .. acting as if he’s stalking Iris and Tact. He stops midway and howls to the fans, which send them into a frenzy.)
JACOBS: “And his partner … from Cadillac, Michigan… ‘the WOLF’ …. CHRIS McMILLAN!!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORGHE: “The bell has rung and McMillan and Hansen are talking things over in their corner as Tact has decided he’ll start things off. And it looks like Hansen will be starting it off for his team. Hansen and Tact are circling each other in the ring … Hansen charges and Tact dodges him as Hansen stops himself from bouncing off the ropes. Hansen turns around and charges again at Tact, this time Tact takes him down with a drop toe hold …. And floats over to a headlock!”
JIVE: “Tact trying to make Hansen look unskilled … don’t forget, this man graduated from the Hellion Dojo… whatever that means.”
GHEORGHE: “Graduates of the dojo are usually very successful… and Hansen just turned this thing around as he squirmed out of the head lock and now has an arm lock on Tact. Tact trying to feel his way around, but Hansen wrenches on that arm and Tact can feel it. Tact now with an elbow into Hansen’s face and the hold is broken. Tact against the ropes… SHOULDER BLOCK … BUT BOTH MEN ARE STILL STANDING!”
JIVE: “Tact thought he could knock the big man down, but instead he was standing eye to eye with him.”
GHEORGHE: “Tact against the ropes again….. ANOTHER SHOULDER BLOCK …. And AGAIN they’re both standing! And now Hansen points at Tact and then points at the ground!! Tact against the ropes …. Hansen with a clothesline attempt … MISSES as TACT DUCKS! Tact against the other side ….. CLOTHESLINES HANSEN … BUT HANSEN STAYS ON HIS FEET!! Tact once more against the ropes ….. CLOTHESLINE .. HANSEN DUCKS! Tact turns around ….. HANSEN PICKS HIM UP …. AND FALLS BACKWARDS WHILE TACT HITS HIS THROAT ON THE TOP ROPE!”
JIVE: “Ring presence! Hansen knew where he was, and he knew the quickest way to hurt Tact.”
GHEORGHE: “Hansen walks over to tag in Chris McMillan.. Hansen picks up Tact and holds him for McMillan. McMillan with a running knee to the midsection and Hansen releases Tact as he falls to his knees. And now McMillan is calling for El Arco Iris to get into the ring! Tact crawls over to Iris … AND TAGS HIM IN!!”
(Crowd pops)
JIVE: “Not only do the fans want this, but McMillan had been waiting for this chance since he found out Iris was going to be one of his competitors.”
GHEORGHE: “Iris is hopping around the ring … and now he and McMillan lock up! Iris with a go behind, but McMillan counters! McMillan locks him in …. RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Iris quickly to his feet though, holding his neck a little … McMillan charges!! And IRIS WITH A SPINNING CRESCENT KICK AND MCMILLAN IS ON THE MAT!”
JIVE: “Iris quickly showing McMillan he’s gotta be careful. And as much as I hate to say it … Iris has some good mov… eh, nevermind I won’t even say it.”
GHEORGHE: “Iris now picks McMillan off the mat… Hooks him … NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!! ONE … kickout easily by McMillan. McMillan quickly up, but he’s taken down by a hiptoss. McMillan up again, ducks under one Iris clothesline attempt … against the ropes …. HURRICANRANA BY EL ARCO IRIS AND MCMILLAN FLIES INTO THE CORNER! Iris runs in after him … and now El Arco Iris is setting ‘the Wolf’ up on the top rope!!”
JIVE: “El Arco Iris is going to kill his chances at moving on to the World Title shot if he keeps on taking chances like this ….. SO ROCK ON IRIS!”
GHEORGHE: “Iris trying to hook McMillan… NO! MCMILLAN WITH AN EYE GOUGE AND IRIS FALLS OFF THE TOP ROPE TO THE MAT!! MCMILLAN NOW SEEING HIM ON THE MAT FLIES OFF WITH A FROG SPLASH ……. BUT HE MISSES!!! El Arco Iris rolls over to his corner and tags in Larry Tact!”
JIVE: “I knew it! I should be a horse jockey or something..”
GHEORGHE: “How bout being quiet for 10 or so minutes? Larry Tact now walks over to Chris McMillan who is holding his stomach… Tact picks him up with ease….. AND DROPS MCMILLAN’s STOMACH ON HIS KNEE! Tact covers …. ONE … TWO … kickout by McMillan! Larry Tact pulls McMillan to his feet …. An elbow to the stomach and Tact’s off the ropes … SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Tact up again, and he locks on the half-crab!! The ref is asking Chris McMillan if he wants to give in!”
JIVE: “I can see why Marceau doesn’t want Larry Tact here.. look at how much he’s detracting from the quality of this match!!”
GHEORGHE: “McMillan is reaching for the ropes .. but I don’t think he’s going to be able to get there.. he’s reaching …. And reaching ……… AND HE MAKES IT TO THE ROPES! Larry Tact releases the hold, gets up and tags in El Arco Iris.”
JIVE: “Great .. more of this jumpy kicky screamy Lechmere stuff.”
GHEORGHE: “Luchador … not Lechmere.”
JIVE: “That’s what I said; Lechmere…”
GHEORGHE: “Nevermind. Iris in the ring now .. McMillan is back up … ARMDRAG TAKEDOWN by Iris! McMillan back up again .. AND ANOTHER TAKEDOWN! McMillan up once again and charges …. HEADSCISSORS TAKEDOWN and McMillan slides out of the ring! Listen to the fans they love El Arco Iris!”
JIVE: “And I’m sure if he could he’d give each and every single one of them a hug… the fruit.”
GHEORGHE: “I think someone is just upset that they cannot enjoy life as Iris can, Nick….. McMillan walks around the outside trying to gather his senses ….. IRIS FLIES OUT WITH A SPACEMAN SUICIDE PLANCHA!! HOLY LORD!”
(SFX: Crowd chants “N . E . W ! N . E . W !”)
JIVE: “IRIS IS INSANE!”
GHEORGHE: “El Arco Iris just floated through the ropes and onto Chris McMillan and they’re both on the floor! Iris just awed the crowd with that plancha.. El Arco Iris gets up .. and now he’s setting up a CHAIR!! Chris McMillan is shaking his head as he sits up … IRIS RUNS HOPS OFF THE CHAIR AND PLANCHAS ON MCMILLAN!!! The referee is telling Iris that he needs to bring this action inside.”
JIVE: “He’s going to kill himself if he keeps on doing what he’s doing!”
GHEORGHE: “And now Iris tags Larry Tact back in. There’s some great teamwork between Larry Tact and El Arco Iris. They really know when to tag in and out, whereas Chris McMillan has been taking the brunt of this storm.”
JIVE: “Brody Hansen is aching to get in the ring.”
GHEORGHE: “Tact waits for McMillan to get back into the ring …. He walks up to him .. And MCMILLAN TOSSES HIM THROUGH THE ROPES USING THE TRUNKS OF TACT AS A GRABHOLD! Larry Tact immediately gets up and sees McMillan crawling over to Brody Hansen!!! TACT IS IN THE RING AND CHASES AFTER MCMILLAN ….. MCMILLAN MAKES THE TAG!!!”
JIVE: “Chris McMillan must be praying to the high Gods that he was able to make that tag. He was looking a little lifeless out there.”
GHEORGHE: “Hansen gets in the ring and him and Larry Tact are staring each other down. Now Hansen begins to point at TACT! Hansen and Tact lock up …. Arm bar go behind by Tact … but Hansen elbows him in the head … Hansen against the ropes … RUNNING ELBOW SMASH AND TACT GOES DOWN! Tact gets back up …. SCOOP BY HANSEN …….. He has him on his shoulder ….. RUNNING BODY SLAM IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! The cover … ONE ….. TWO ….. THR – KICKOUT by Larry Tact!”
JIVE: “That’s it BRODY! Make Juliet Marceau one happy lady. You know, Tom, when Juliet’s in a good mood .. she gets in a GOOD mood, if you know what I mean..”
GHEORGHE: “I don’t even want to think about that, Nick … Hansen picks up Larry Tact …. And hits a piledriver! Brody Hansen looking at the body of Larry Tact … STAMPEDE!! Brody Hansen is kicking the shoulders and limbs of Larry Tact! HANSEN HAS LOST IT! AND HERE COMES EL ARCO IRIS!! AND HERE COMES CHRIS MCMILLAN!! Iris goes after Hansen … BUT MCMILLAN CUTS HIM OFF AND SENDS HIM INTO THE CORNER!! MCMILLAN STARTS POUNDING ON IRIS’ HEAD!”
CROWD: “ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, TEN!!!”
JIVE: “Ha, ha! The ref doesn’t know what to do! He’s running over to Hansen, he’s running over to Iris..”
GHEORGHE: “Hansen now picks up Larry Tact and tosses him into the corner! Hansen with some shoulder drives into the stomach of Larry Tact … and he places him on the top turnbuckle!!! Now CHRIS MCMILLAN IS PLACING IRIS ON THE TOP!! HANSEN RAISES HIS HANDS …….. MCMILLAN WITH BELLY TO BELLY SUPERPLEX ON IRIS!!! McMillan JUMPS UP AND RAISES HIS HANDS!!! HANSEN WITH A SUPERPLEX ONTOP OF IRIS!!! NO WAIT!! TACT LANDS ON TOP! The ref counts!!! ONE …….. TWO …….. THREE!!!!”
(SFX: The Bell rings. McMillan goes to the second rope with his hands up.)
GHEORGHE: “McMillan thinks he won this match! But he doesn’t realize whats happened!”
(CUEUP: “Karma” by Diffuser. McMillan’s head cocks around as he sees Hansen lying on the mat, while Tact is sitting up. He hops off the top rope and goes to the ref. The ref explains to him what happened and McMillan is pissed!)
JIVE: “I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! Tact managed to SCREW Brody Hansen!!”
GHEORGHE: “Tact got himself around and ended up landing on top of Hansen for the three count!”
JACOBS: “The winners of the match and heading on to the second round …… LARRY TACT and EL ARCO IRIS!”
(The crowd pops as the ref raises Tact’s hand.)
GHEORGHE: “Another great match! What a finish! What perseverance shown by Larry Tact! Fans! When we get back …. FORMER WFW World Champion SHAWN HART, and his partner Suicidal Killer will be taking on the man who beat Hart for the title, SCOTTY MICHAELS and his partner THE AMERICAN!! This should be a great fight … JOIN US AFTER THESE MESSAGES!!”
(FADETO: Commercial as McMillan exits the ring shaking his head as he realizes that El Arco Iris managed to sneak by him once more.)
