(CUTTO: Backstage where Reporter Jason Tripp is standing with two men. One is about 240 pounds, the other is 260. Both are in great shape and dwarf Tripp in size.)
TRIPP: “I’m standing here with Ice and Esco, the team of Natural Born Killers who just recently signed a contract here in New ERA! Thank you guys for joining me and congratulations on being the first team to sign with New ERA.”
ESCO: “We knew that New ERA was going to be a hotbed of talent. And we knew that once we joined other tag teams would hop at the chance to try to knock us down.”
ICE: “Yes.”
ESCO: “You’ll have to excuse Ice. He’s not too fond of speaking. But we’ve come here to salvage the tag team division. We know that our art is on the decline, but that doesn’t mean that tag team divisions have to be degraded. We’re only going to bring our best to the ring.”
(All of a sudden a bald man about 6’4 wearing a black and red t-shirt, and another man wearing no shirt at all but is very muscular, comes from off screen and approaches Natural Born Killers.)
EMANON: “Woah, woah, woah. Who ever said that Natural Born Killers were the first tag team signed in New ERA of Wrestling?”
TRIPP: “Well, um, no others were announced before and there hadn’t been any changes to the roster.”
REVEROF: “So WHAT?”
EMANON: “We’re the first tag team to sign with New ERA of Wrestling. Reverof and myself. DOOM. Not Natural Born Killers. US.”
ESCO: “Sorry guys, but we beat you to the punch. You’re just trying to get in on our action. But don’t worry, we’ll show the fans what true champions do…”
EMANON: “You didn’t beat us to the punch…”
(As soon as he finishes saying that Emanon punches Esco in the face and he and Reverof walk away. Ice bends over to help Esco, and as he gets up we see his nose is bleeding.)
TRIPP: “Esco, are you alright?”
ESCO: “Yea, I’m fine. This DOOM. They need to be handled, Jason. They can’t walk in here and try to tell us that they were signed first. We’re the saviors of the tag team division, not them. And as for my nose ... don't worry, they'll get whats coming to them.”
TRIPP: “Well it looks like we’ve got a bit of controversy as both Natural Born Killers and DOOM think they’ve joined first. Let’s send it back to you, Tom!”
(CUTTO: Back to ringside and the announcer’s table.)
GHEORGHE: “Well it looks like the tag team division isn’t dead in New ERA afterall!”
JIVE: “Doom looked incredible, did you see them? Definitely look like Tag Team championship material to me!”
GHEORGHE: “But ladies and gentlemen, up next is the Sudden Death match between JARED WELLS and PYRO. These two were tag team partners on the first edition of RAUCOUS.. but Jared Wells attacked Pyro before they’re match, and then, in a shocking display, the team lost when Lilly, the manager of Peter File, dropped her top and revealed to the world her very … well endowedness.”
JIVE: “YOU’RE TELLING ME! Let’s show that on playback!”
GHEORGHE: “Sorry, Nick. That’s not going to happen now with the whole Janet Jackson / Justin Timberlake stuff.”
JIVE: “Ahhhh, what pussies. Jared Wells wasn’t using his head anyway. Why attack your tag team partner before the match? What does THAT due to your chances of winning?”
GHEORGHE: “Maybe he wanted to soften him up in case they won?”
JIVE: “Well first you have to WAIT UNTIL YOU WIN. Not beforehand!”
GHEORGHE: “Yes, that’s true. Let’s now turn to the ring as Carl Jacobs will introduce the two in this sudden death round!”
(CUTTO: Ringside as Carl Jacobs is waiting for the crowd to quiet down before he speaks.)
JACOBS: “The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL and is the SECOND of the sudden death round matches! Introducing FIRST!”
(CUEUP: ‘In the End’ by Linkin Park. The lights dim and then go out completely. The only things visible are the glowing items in the crowd. Then, “In The End” by Linkin Park plays loudly and powerfully as two huge silver pyrotechnics explode in the ring. The big screens at the top of the rampway flash images of Pyro, his amazing moves, gore filled images, and clips from some of Pyros past, decimating matches. Then from behind the curtain steps the monster that is known as Pyro. A single silver spot light shines on Pyro as he stands atop of the stage. The spotlight continues to hover above him as he moves, and five spot lights are going throughout the crowd. Silver pyrotechnics drop from the bottom of the big screens, as Pyro makes his way to the ring, all the while, with the silver spotlights panning through the crowd.)
GHEORGHE: “I must say, Pyro has a very energizing presence about him.”
JACOBS: “From BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS ….. standing 6 foot 8….. PYRO!”
(SFX: Fans continue to boo)
JIVE: “Look at this man! How can anyone in their right mind attack him? Especially his tag team partner. Jared Wells is going to be squashed here tonight!”
(CUEUP: ‘Pistol Grip Pump’ by Rage Against the Machine as the fans start to go crazy. Jared Wells comes through the curtain and jogs down to the ring, slapping the fans hands on the way.)
GHEORGHE: “AND THE FANS LOVE JARED WELLS!! Listen to them, Nick!”
JIVE: “I’m getting a headache.”
JACOBS: “And his opponent…. From BALTIMORE, MARYLAND … weighing in at 234 pounds ….. RAGE o FIRE ….. JARED …… WELLS!”
(SFX: Crowd pops continuously)
JIVE: “Can someone bring my out a tranquilizer gun??”
(SFX: Bell rings)
GHEORGHE: “Wells is in the ring telling Pyro he better get ready for the worst beating of his life, but Pyro is just staring at him.”
JIVE: “Pyro is calculating, Tom. He’s going to easily put an end to Wells’ trash-talking.”
GHEORGHE: “Wells finally approaching Pyro. And they lock up. Pyro, being the larger of the two, easily throws Wells to the mat. And Wells is back up.. dropkicks Pyro! But Pyro doesn’t go down. Pyro is wobbling, and Wells goes against the ropes. And another dropkick finally sends Pyro to the mat! Pyro is up, however, and Jared Wells takes his arm and drops him to the mat in an armbar submission move!”
JIVE: “I don’t think Jared Wells is going to get Pyro to submit. But hey, its his funeral.”
GHEORGHE: “The ref asking Pyro if he wants to submit, but Pyro isn’t saying a word. Finally Jared Wells sees he isn’t getting anywhere and lets go. Wells now dropping the elbow on Pyro’s shoulder. And he locks the armbar on again!”
JIVE: “I guess he just doesn’t learn.”
GHEORGHE: “The ref asking again if Pyro is ok, and Pyro ROLLS WELLS AROUND INTO A PINNING COMBINATION!!! ONE … TW—KICKOUT! Pyro stunned Wells for a quick second!”
JIVE: “That’ll teach him. Wells went to … the well … one time too many!”
GHEORGHE: “That was just awful, Nick.”
JIVE: “You try doing color for a man as dreadfully boring as Jared Wells and see if you can come up with anything better.”
GHEORGHE: “Pyro now with a handful of hair on Jared Wells… whips him into the corner … and charges in… BUT PYRO TRIPS ON SOMETHING ON THE MAT AND GOES DOWN FACE FIRST!! Wells takes this opportunity to climb the ropes … LEGDROP OFF THE TOP ROPE! What a move by JARED WELLS!”
JIVE: “Don’t we have a rule where moves off the top rope are illegal?”
GHEORGHE: “No, Nick. No, we don’t.”
JIVE: “I think we should.”
GHEORGHE: “Jared Wells with the pin … ONE …. TWO …. KICKOUT. Wells now picks up Pyro … OH MY …”
JIVE: “Now he should be disqualified for that!!! You can’t knock a man in his family jewels!”
GHEORGHE: “Wells with a swift kick to the testicular region of Pyro .. hooks him TBONE SUPLEX by Jared Wells!! Perfectly done, too. Jared Wells is getting the fans involved and the fans are responding.”
(The camera cuts to a bunch of fans cheering. In the lower corner of the screen, however, is a little kid, about 4 or 5, who pukes onto the ground and is crying.)
JIVE: “HAHAHHA, did you see that?! One of the fans just puked all over the place after watching Wells!”
GHEORGHE: “I’m sure that WASN’T the reason, Nick… Jared Wells now going up top again!!! Pyro is not moving in the middle of the ring ….. HERE COMES JARED WELLS OFF THE TOP!!! PYRO TRIES TO ROLL OUT OF THE WAY!!! WELLS NAILS AN ELBOW DROP FROM THE TOP ROPE!! Pyro might have been too far away, but when he tried to roll out of the way, he rolled into perfect position for Jared Wells to nail that flying elbow drop!!”
JIVE: “Bah!”
GHEORGHE: “Well ladies and gentlemen, as you can tell, the powers that be here in New ERA replaced my old color commentator with a more efficient choice; a sheep.”
JIVE: “Hey listen. You don’t tell the jokes around here, Tom. I do. So go back to calling this wussy match.”
GHEORGHE: “I think the match has been great so far. Definitely one sided as Jared Wells has dominated. Pyro has botched both of his tries, first tripping over his own feet charging into the corner, and then rolling INTO an elbow drop instead of out of the way!”
JIVE: “ …”
GHEORGHE: “Heh, Nick, are you ok? Anywho! Jared Wells picks up Pyro … and PLANTS HIM WITH A DDT! Wells with the cover …. ONE …. TW- kickout by Pyro.”
JIVE: “Pyro’s got plenty of fight … he’s letting Wells wear himself out before he takes advantage of the little prick.”
GHEORGHE: “You don’t have to call him names, Nick. Jared Wells sends Pyro into the ropes …. Puts his head down … and PYRO CATCHES HIM!! HE LIFTS HIM UP!!!! POWERBOMB!!!”
JIVE: “He’s not letting go!!!”
GHEORGHE: “PYRO PICKS WELLS BACK UP INTO THE AIR!!! ANOTHER POWERBOMB!!!!! AND YET AGAIN PYRO PICKS WELLS IN THE AIR!!!!! A TRIPLE POWERBOMB COMBINATION!!!!”
JIVE: “That took the air out of the fans’ sails, eh?”
GHEORGHE: “I will never discount Pyro’s strength and versatility again! After taking that punishment he did from Wells, he comes out and hits him with the triple powerbomb combination! Amazing! Now Pyro is grabbing Wells and taking him to the center of the ring. I would’ve pinned him right after the combination.”
JIVE: “I’m sure Pyro has much more in store for Wells. Don’t forget, Wells ATTACKED him!”
GHEORGHE: “Pyro now setting Wells up on the TOP ROPE!!! Wells is sitting on the top rope… Pyro hooks the HEAD … DIAMOND DUST!!! That Diamond CUTTER WHILE WELLS WAS SITTING ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!! That could’ve broken his neck!! Pyro now covering ……. ONE …….. TWO ……. THREE!!!!”
JIVE: “GOD DAMMIT.”
GHEORGHE: “BUT WELLS PUT HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE AND THE REF SAW AT THE LAST MOMENT!! And Pyro is incensed!! He cannot believe the ref. He now picks up Jared Wells … and he sends him against the ropes.. drops down and Wells is over him to the other ropes …. PYRO WITH A DROPKICK …. BUT NOBODY IS HOME! Wells ended up hanging on to the ropes and Pyro ended up hitting the mat!”
JIVE: “I think the ref helped him hold on to the ropes!! This referee is biased towards Jared Wells!! I wonder how much Wells paid him!”
GHEORGHE: “Pyro gets up .. and he charges at Wells by the ropes….. WELLS DROPS TO THE MAT AND PYRO GOES UP AND OVER THE ROPES AND TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!! Pyro has hit the concrete with his back and he is VERY slow to get up. Jared Wells is using the ropes to help him up …”
JIVE: “Wells doesn’t even know whats going on! Look at him looking around for Pyro! He doesn’t even realize that the ref helped him out and Pyro was dumped to the outside!”
GHEORGHE: “The ref did not help Jared Wells, Nick, stop saying that. Wells now sees that Pyro is slowly getting up on the outside. He grabs the ropes .. AND LAUNCHES HIMSELF UP AND OVER THE TOP ONTO PYRO!!! Jared Wells now beating Pyro with lefts and rights! Jared Wells rolls into the ring to break the count and now the ref is telling him to stay in the ring!”
JIVE: “I can’t believe these fans actually support a momma’s boy!! He needs the ref to help him win this match!”
GHEORGHE: “Will you stop it with your nonsense! Jared Wells is facing the crowd and they’re really giving it up for his performance here today! WAIT A MINUTE!!!”
JIVE: “KNOCK HIM INTO THE FANS HE LOVES SO MUCH!!”
GHEORGHE: “PYRO HAS A CHAIR AND HAS IT RAISED!! HE IS WAITING FOR WELLS TO TURN AROUND!!!”
JIVE: “NO!!!”
GHEORGHE: “The referee went behind PYRO AND TOOK THE CHAIR FROM HIM!!! PYRO IS YELLING AT THE REF!!! WELLS TURNS AROUND! SAVATE KICK AND PYRO IS FACE DOWN IN THE MAT!”
JIVE: “I told you the ref was working for Wells!!!”
GHEORGHE: “JARED WELLS IS CALLING FOR IT!!!!! RAGEBOMB!!!!! ONE …….. TWO ………. THREE!!!!!”
JACOBS: “The winner of this match ……. RAGE o FIRE …….. JARED … WELLS!”
JIVE: “No!! I can’t believe it!”
GHEORGHE: “Jared Wells capitalizes on Pyro’s distraction and pulls out the victory!”
JIVE: “TAINTED! The ref was helping Wells throughout the match!”
GHEORGHE: “Pyro shouldn’t have brought a chair into the ring! He did this to himself, Nick, and there’s nothing you can do about it..”
JIVE: “Maybe nothing I can do …. But something PYRO CAN!!”
GHEORGHE: “PYRO IS UP AND HE LOOKS FURIOUS!!! The ref is bending through the ropes telling the ringside reporters the official results … AND PYRO GRABS THE CHAIR FROM THE MAT!!! PYRO WALKS UP BEHIND THE REFEREE AND HE NAILS HIM IN THE BACK WITH THE CHAIR!”
JIVE: “Yes! Get him! He did this to you! He made you lose!”
GHEORGHE: “PYRO NOW SETS UP THE CHAIR! OH MY GOD!”
JIVE: “HA HA! REVENGE!”
GHEORGHE: “Pyro hit his EXPLOSION move!! That spinning Death Valley Driver onto the chair and the referee is OUT COLD! FINALLY we have security coming down to ringside ….. AND PYRO IS TRYING TO FIGHT THEM AS WELL!! PYRO GRABS ONE AND NAILS HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!!! HE GRABS ANOTHER …… PYRO HITS HIM WITH ONE GERMAN SUPLEX … ROLLS INTO A SECOND ONE!!!! A TRIPLE GERMAN SUPLEX AND THAT SECURITY OFFICER ROLLS TO THE FLOOR!!”
JIVE: “Nobody can stop him! He was pushed too far by the referee and now they’ll all pay.”
GHEORGHE: “Finally one of the larger security guard steps in and NAILS PYRO IN THE HEAD WITH A CLUB! Pyro is down and they’re PUTTING HANDCUFFS ON HIM!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE GOTTA GO TO COMMERCIAL BREAK!!!”
