[ Hartford Civic Center ] Hartford, Connecticut



PRESENTS ....

(FADEIN: Backstage as Celeste is prepping Brody Hansen.)

CELESTE: “Ok, Brody, this is it. I’m going to head back to President LaRoque’s office now to let him know that I treated you VERY well. Good luck out there.”

HANSEN: “Don’t worry about it. Michaels doesn’t know what’ll hit him.”

(FADETO: Announcer’s booth.)

JIVE: “MAN, Hansen is a lucky man.”

GHEORGHE: “We’re down to our final match here on this edition of RAUCOUS, and it should be a doozy! ‘The Viewer’s Choice,’ who managed to incapacitate Shawn Hart and drive him from New ERA’s active roster, will be taking on ‘the Southern Beast’ Brody Hansen. I cannot wait to see this match in action.”

JIVE: “Michaels showed the world what he was made out of last RAUCOUS, and he’s going to prove his worth here tonight!”

GHEORGHE: “All he showed last week was his yellow streak.”

JIVE: “But who is still in action, Tom? Who is still in the running for a title? Not Shawn Hart!”

GHEORGHE: “Let’s get this one underway!”

(CUTTO: The rampway as the lineup for the next match shows on the bottom of the screen.)

(CUTTO: Ring. Carl Jacobs is standing in the middle of the ring waiting for the cue.)

JACOBS: “The following match is our FINAL SUDDEN DEATH ROUND MATCH Up! It is scheduled for ONE fall and has a 30 minute time limit! Introducing first ….”

(CUEUP: ‘Its My Life’ by Bon Jovi. The fans immediately begin to boo thunderously as Scotty Michaels walks through the curtains with the WFW World Title hanging from his shoulder. He has a cocky smile on his face and he begins to walk down the ramp. He stops midway to trash talk a fan, who tries to throw her drink at him, but it sails over his head. He just shakes his head and continues to the ring.)

JACOBS: “From PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA …. He is the CURRENT WFW WORLD CHAMPION …… ‘the Viewer’s Choice’ SCOTTY MICHAELS!”

JIVE: “Michaels looks like he’s on top of the world, Tom!”

GHEORGHE: “Any man with a conscious would be wallowing in the depths of despair. Michaels is going to get whats coming to him ten fold.”

JIVE: “I’d like to see the man who would try. So I can laugh in his face.”

JACOBS: “And his opponent….”

(CUEUP: “Bad to the Bone” by George Thorogood. Brody Hansen comes through the curtain dragging a stretch behind him. He is walking slightly diagonal however. He walks to the ring, looking a little disheveled.)

JACOBS: “Standing six foot five, weighing in at 275 pounds …. From LOCO, OKLAHOMA ….. ‘the SOUTHERN BEAST’ BRODY HANSEN!”

(SFX: Bell Rings)

JIVE: “I think LaRoque’s gifts worked against Hansen! It looks like he might have had a tad too much to drink!”

GHEORGHE: “Hansen does look a little tipsy as he’s walking around the ring, but he’s shaking it off and I think he’s ready to move on to the quarterfinals of the Television title tournament!”

JIVE: “Say what you will, Tom, but Scotty Michaels is too good, too talented, and too much for Brody Hansen!”

GHEORGHE: “Scotty Michaels verbally abusing Hansen in the middle of the ring. And Brody now points to the stretcher and tells Scotty that at the end of the night he’s going to end up there! And SCOTTY ATTACKS HIM FROM BEHIND! Michaels working on the back of Brody Hansen … and HANSEN TAKES HIM DOWN WITH ONE SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE! Hansen is now walking over to Michaels, and Michaels is trying to crawl into the corner!”

JIVE: “Michaels using ring smarts to try to outwit Hansen.. which, I guess, isn’t very hard in the first place.”

GHEORGHE: “Michaels now …. Michaels yells at the top of his lungs, and BRODY HANSEN HITS THE MAT!! What the hell just happened?”

JIVE: “Hansen is proving what a wuss he is!”

GHEORGHE: “Hansen slowly looks up as Michaels is laughing … AND MICHAELS KICKS HANSEN IN THE HEAD! Michaels now picking Hansen up … and a nicely executed belly to back suplex! Scotty Michaels still has a smirk on his face, Nick …”

JIVE: “Michaels is in total control of this match.”

GHEORGHE: “Scotty Michaels now on top of Hansen and he’s trying to rearrange his face with some lefts and rights. And finally the referee intervenes and Michaels gets off…. BUT STILL ADDS ONE MORE FOR GOOD MEASURE! What a weasel, Nick.”

JIVE: “Hey! He has every right to do that! Hell, Hansen has Acting President LaRoque on his side, Michaels needs every shot he can get in.”

GHEORGHE: “Scotty Michaels now with Hansen .. and he sends him into the ropes … and he locks on a sleeper hold!”

JIVE: “That’s the last thing the lush Hansen needs!! A sleeper hold to help put him to bed!”

GHEORGHE: “Actually, that’s very true, Nick.”

JIVE: “Michaels is a genius!”

GHEORGHE: “I wouldn’t go that far. The ref lifts up Hansen’s arm… AND IT FALLS .. Ref now checking to make sure its not turning into a choke hold … lifts up Hansen’s arm again .. AND IT FALLS! If ‘the Southern Beast’s arm falls once more, Michaels will have this match won!”

JIVE: “A nice easy victory.”

GHEORGHE: “The ref lifts it up a third time … AND HANSEN USES HIS WEIGHT TO FALL FORWARD AND SEND MICHAELS THROUGH THE ROPES!”

JIVE: “I don’t think that was on purpose! I think Hansen passed out!! C’mon ref! Ring that bell!”

GHEORGHE: “Scotty Michaels is pissed off on the outside as Hansen hangs through the second ropes. AND MICHAELS NAILS HIM WITH A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT! Michaels getting back on the apron … and he’s heading up top! Michaels setting himself up … AND HE COMES DOWN WITH A HEADBUTT TO THE SHOULDER! BUT I THINK THAT WOKE HANSEN UP! Brody Hansen has just sat up in the middle of the ring and his eyes are WIDE OPEN!”

JIVE: “How! He cannot be serious!”

GHEORGHE: “Michaels can’t believe it either! Michaels tries to take him down with a drop toe hold, but instead Hansen drops the elbow on Michaels’ back! Hansen now locks in front face lock and Michaels is yelping in pain! Scotty Michaels is giving the ref a piece of his mind.. and finally Brody Hansen releases the hold.”

JIVE: “Michaels showed his versatility there!”

GHEORGHE: “Brody Hansen now up and he picks up Michaels by a handful of hair!”

JIVE: “WHAT A CHEATER!”

(The fans start to cheer as Celeste walks down the rampway with a smile on her face clapping for Hansen. She goes into his corner and starts yelling words of encouragement.)

JIVE: “AND WHAT AN ASS!”

GHEORGHE: “Celeste has come down to ringside to offer some support from the powers to be here in New ERA … and Hansen is setting up Michaels.. HE PUTS HIM ON THE SHOULDER … RUNNING POWERSLAM BY THE BIG MAN! Hansen turns around to get some kudos from Celeste .. but she’s already over to where he’s standing … and Hansen looks confused! He’s turning around in a circle .. and finally he sees her and offers her a smile … Hansen with the pin ….. BUT MICHAELS ISN’T THERE! SCOTTY MICHAELS IS BEHIND BRODY HANSEN … AND MICHAELS SPEARS HIM AS HE TURNED AROUND!! MICHAELS WITH THE COVER!!! ONE …. TWO …. KICKOUT!”

JIVE: “Word of advice kids, don’t drink and then try to wrestle.”

GHEORGHE: “Scotty Michaels gets off and slaps the mat. Michaels against the ropes … BASEBALL SLIDE … but HANSEN GETS OUT OF THE WAY AND MICHAELS SLIDES INTO THE RINGPOST! Hansen gets back up … And he walks over to Michaels .. AND HANSEN LOCKS MICHAELS UP IN A FULL NELSON!!! HE DRAGS HIM OUT TO THE CENTER OF THE RING!!”

JIVE: “NO!!! If Michaels can’t get to the ropes how can he get out!! Hansen has it locked right up!!”

GHEORGHE: “SCOTTY MICHAELS IS SCREAMING IN PAIN … And Celeste is cheering him on … Brody Hansen looks to have this one WRAPPED UP!”

(The lights on the rampway go out and the big screens flicker … Hansen’s attention immediately goes to it.)

JIVE: “NOW what the hell is going on?!”

GHEORGHE: “The lights on the stage near our big screens have gone off .. and the screen is flickering … “

(An image comes on to the screen. Jerome Henderson is on the screen, wearing a baker’s hat with a big smile.)

HENDERSON: “Making some pastries .. having a good time .. mmm these smell great.”

GHEORGHE: “What on Earth is Henderson doing on the screen?”

HENDERSON: “Now, I’m sure you’re wondering what I’m doing on the screen…”

JIVE: “Ha! He called you!”

HENDERSON: “It’s about .. well 4:18pm .. so hopefully this will be going on at about 9:30, 9:45.. but I wanted to show you all how keen of a baker I am.”

JIVE: “Intriguing!”

(Hansen releases the full nelson and stumbles over to the ring ropes, holding on to it.)

GHEORGHE: “Hansen looks like he’s seeing a ghost!”

HENDERSON: “And let me say .. I am the GREATEST chef to ever bake brownies.. its all in the mix, my friends ..(looks down at his watch) Ah, 4:20 … time for the ingredients that make these brownies special…”

(Henderson sprinkles some organic remedy into the brownie mix.)

JIVE: “HOLY HELL!! HENDERSON MADE POT BROWNIES!”

(CUTTO: A shot of Hansen … whose eyes are opened wide.)

HENDERSON: “And now .. in about 30 minutes, my brownies will be complete … and they’ll be on there way care of (winks) President LaRoque .. won’t they?”

(A beautiful woman walks on screen and smiles … ITS CELESTE!)

GHEORGHE: “MICHAELS HAS DONE IT AGAIN!! THE BASTARD!! HE USED CELESTE TO GET HANSEN TO EAT THOSE DIRTY BROWNIES!! NO WONDER HANSEN ISNT AT THE TOP OF HIS GAME!!!”

JIVE: “NOW I KNOW MICHAELS IS A GENIUS!”

HENDERSON: “Oh .. and Brody .. we told you not to fuck with us.”

(The screen dies and the lights come back on .. Hansen turns around and he sees Celeste and Michaels engaged in a lip lock!)

GHEORGHE: “AND NOW MICHAELS AND CELESTE ARE GETTING IT ON IN FRONT OF HANSEN!! He cannot believe it!!! HANSEN CHARGES AT CELESTE AND MICHAELS!! Michaels ducks out of the WAY AND HANSEN KNOCKS CELESTE OFF THE APRON AND INTO THE GUARDRAIl!!!”

JIVE: "He should be disqualified and CASTRATED!! You don’t hit a woman!”

GHEORGHE: “Michaels is the one who moved!! Michaels knocks Hansen to the mat and now he’s trying to see if Celeste is ok ….. Michaels turns around … AND HANSEN IS ENRAGED!!!! HANSEN ….. THROWS MICHAELS INTO THE ROPES!!! LARIAT!!!!!! HE SETS HIM UP AGAIN!!! BIG BOOT!!!! HANSEN WITH THE COVER ……. ONE ……. TWO …….. THREE!!!”

JIVE: “ NO HE KICKED OUT!”

GHEORGHE: “NO HE DIDN’T! Brody Hansen has won this match despite the HORRIBLE game that Scotty Michaels, Jerome Henderson and Celeste tried to play with him!! Scotty Michaels is proving not only to be the biggest asshole in the promotion, but he’s also proving to try to stop at nothing to eliminate his competition!!”

JACOBS: “The winner of this match ……. BRODY HANSEN!”

JIVE: “Look at Hansen stumble up the rampway!!! He’s a mess!! I cannot believe he pulled that off!”

GHEORGHE: “Hansen was able to focus his rage and at least for a second gather enough of himself to get a win over Michaels. Michaels is coming to and he rolls out of the ring to check on Celeste. Celeste is up and now they’re slowly walking up the ramp.. What a HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE thing they did to Hansen! But it bit them in the ass like it should have!”

JIVE: “Hansen deserved it!”

(CUEUP: “Karma by Diffuser.. the lights in the arena dim as a bunch of spotlights go over the crowd as they pop hugely.)

JIVE: “C’mon, I’ve had enough for tonight!”

JIVE: “ITS LARRY TACT! What does he want? To come out and rub it in Michaels’ face that he won’t have a title?”

(Larry Tact walks out from behind the curtain and begins walking down to ringside.)

GHEORGHE: “Tact walks by Michaels .. and Michaels gives him a dirty look. But Larry Tact IGNORES Michaels as Michaels turns around and yells something at him. Tact turning around …. And Michaels scurries up the rampway.”

(Tact continues to walk and finally slides into the ring. He steps into the middle of the ring as his music cuts and the fans are on their feet giving him rounds of applause. Tact is dressed in baggy blue jeans, black boots and has a blue/green doo rag on. He’s also wearing a “Simply Tactilizin” t-shirt on.)

TACT: “First off, congratulations to the victors of tonight’s matches, who will advance to the next round of the Television Title tournament..”

JIVE: “Listen to him sucking up!”

TACT: “No matter by what means you won the matches, you won them, and the end result is what decides who advances and who is eliminated. The same can be said of the launch show of RAUCOUS, and those tag matches.”

JIVE: “And now he’s trying to butter up Suicidal Killer and his mystery partner so they don’t destroy him and Iris!”

GHEORGHE: “Will you stop running your mouth for five minutes …”

TACT: “Not everyone attained victory through the most impressive means. Some chose to use tricks, or .. distractions ..”

JIVE: “Yes!! But what a distraction it was!”

TACT: “I think the male viewer audience didn’t have a problem with at least one distraction ..”

(SFX: Male’s pop)

TACT: “Having said that, there was at least one match in which wrestling, not trickery, ruled. And it might not have been the prettiest end to a match, the hottest end to a match, or the most flashy finish.. but I can guarantee you one thing: it was the most SKILLFULL end to any match from that show!”

JIVE: “Well, Michaels destroying Shawn Hart was pretty skillfull..”

TACT: “In fact, that match might have been the match in which ALL of its competitors showed the most pure skill! There were four men who had a viable SHOT at winning. The end of the match makes that all too clear, as the margin for error was literally RAZOR THIN! A split second’s decision on the part of two men, and the tide of the match was turned for good.”

JIVE: “I KNOW!! I blame the American for that decision!”

TACT: “That is how competitive this place can be in the first round, which means I can’t wait for the second round of BATTLE BOWL MANIA! Because it was El Arco Iris and myself who pulled out that victory..”

JIVE: “Wait, wha?”

GHEORGHE: “And thank you for making yourself look stupid once again tonight, Nick.”

TACT: “We showed the potential wrestling product that New ERA is capable of putting out. We showed New ERA AT ITS FINEST!”

(Crowd gets pumped up along with Tact)

TACT: “So I have this message for the remaining participants in the Battle Bowl. If you want to get through to the end, its going to take you more than tricks and flashes. It’s going to take SKILL like you’ve only possibly had in your GREATEST matches! I tell you this for one reason, and one reason only … because unless you’re up to that effort, that performance, your New ERA World Title dreams .. WILL BE SHATTERED! Each one of you can take that how you will, but I give fair warning. Don’t put your dreams on the line unless you’re ready (smiles) TO …. BE ….(glances down at his shirt) TAC..”

(The lights go out in the arena..)

JIVE: “Woah .. I didn’t know we were having special guests!”

GHEORGHE: “Oh shutup, Nick.. fans, I don’t know what’s going on here. Larry Tact came out to talk, and now our lights have gone ou..”

(The big screens flash “6 .. 6 .. 6!” as the crowd erupts in boos giving some serious heat.)

JIVE: “ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME! Someone worthy of my commentating on!”

GHEORGHE: “But he’s not even scheduled to be here!”

(‘Eyes of a Criminal’ by Chimaira blasts over the PA system. Suicidal Killer walks out to the platform as pyrotechnics ignite behind him and the lights come back on. He makes his way down to the ring - stepping over the top rope as he sneers at the crowd. Killer does a slow cut throat gesture as he calls for the music to stop.)

JIVE: “And there he is Tommy, the ‘soon to be’ New ERA World Heavyweight Champion!”

GHEORGHE: “WHAT!?!? There's still another match he has to go through, and then he has to compete in a Battle Royal against 3 other people. How can you make a statement like that so pre-maturely?”

JIVE: “Because, look at the man... He's HUGE! How can someone like that even lose? So I'm going out on a limb and picking the biggest and the ugliest, because frankly they always seem to be the ones that come out on top.”

GHEORGHE: “And what school of fortune telling did you graduate from?”

JIVE: “Shhhhhhhhhhhh... Our upcoming champion is about to speak.”

GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact is still standing in the ring, and he looks VERY annoyed as Suicidal Killer walks around the ring.”

(Killer brings the microphone up to his mouth to speak, looking at Tact and then at the fans.)

KILLER: “You people make me sick. Look at you. You're paying good money and for what? To watch second rate wrestlers compete for a second rate belt? Pathetic!!”

(The crowd again erupts with massive boos. They start to chant…)

CROWD: “SK SUCKS!! SK SUCKS!! SK SUCKS!!”

(Killer smiles .. Larry Tact is seen in the background joining in on the cheers.)

JIVE: “Larry Tact! That SCOUNDREL!!”

KILLER: “You really think that’s going to stop me? You really think that by chanting how much I suck is going to stop me from becoming New ERA’s first-ever World Heavyweight Champion?”

(The crowd explodes with a “HELL YEAH”. Killer gets very annoyed and starts yelling at ringside fans calling them expletives.)

GHEORGHE: “And Suicidal Killer has come out here .. but we still don’t know why. Larry Tact is standing in the ring, and at first he was annoyed, but now he seems to be laughing at Suicidal Killer!”

KILLER: “I see that they’ve paired me with a mystery partner for next edition’s RAUCOUS… I don’t need a partner, as I showed you last week, I can handle one wrestler or two wrestlers at the same time, it makes no bit of difference to me! So what if Hart is retired, he never put forth any effort in our match, I was the backbone in that match!”

JIVE: “He's right you know.”

GHEORGHE: “No he's not! Hart did a lot of work in that match.”

KILLER: “Frankly I got tired of carrying Hart. He's what I consider dead weight, so it doesn't matter if Michaels is the reason that Hart had to call an early retirement, because if he wasn't going to do it...I WAS GOING TO SURELY PUT AN END TO HIS PATHETIC CAREER! So just call him the "luckiest S.O.B" in the business...Oh wait... let me rephrase that... OUT OF THE BUISNESS..”

TACT: “Woah, woah, wooaaah there! Who do you think you are coming down here, interrupting MY time, and then going off on a rant?”

KILLER: “You’ll get yours on RAUCOUS, Tact..”

TACT: “I don’t think you CAN HANDLE me and Iris. I don’t give a damn if your partner is JC himself. You’re not walking into the fatal fourway!”

KILLER: “Don’t push me. You need to save yourself for RAUCOUS …”

TACT: “In fact, I bet you’re scared about having a mystery partner. At least with HART you knew you were getting some talent.”

KILLER: “The bottom line is this ‘One Man Army’ needs NO ONE to reach it to the top!”

TACT: “Next week … you better have someone. Because if you don’t, you’re going to be TACTILIZED!”

GHEORGHE: “LARRY TACT IS APPROACHING SUICIDAL KILLER!! KILLER IS NOW LOOKING DOWN AT TACT …..”

KILLER: “In the end... you BOTH WILL BE MY VICTIMS!”

JIVE: “LARRY TACT IS NOW STANDING TOE TO TOE WITH SUICIDAL KILLER!! Look at how much Killer TOWERS over Tact!”

GHEORGHE: “That’s not holding him back!! FANS!! WE ARE OUT OF TIME!! JOIN US ON THE NEXT RAUCOUS!!! MORE BATTLE BOWL MANIA!! LARRY TACT and EL ARCO IRIS WILL BE TAKING ON SUICIDAL KILLER AND A MYSTERY PARTNER!! Who will it be??? JOIN US TO FIND OUT!”

(FADEOUT: As the camera closes on Tact and Suicidal Killer both standing in the center of the ring … Tact looking up at Killer, and Killer looking down with a sneer on his face as we fade to black.)

( the end )