(CUTTO: Backstage area. We find Larry Tact knocking on Juliet Marceau’s lockerroom with hard bangs.)
TACT: “I KNOW HE IS IN THERE! You let him know that TONIGHT, he won’t get away from me.”
SECURITY: “Mr. Tact either you leave now, or we’ll take you into custody and you won’t be allowed to compete tonight.”
TACT: “You just let him know.. just let him know.”
(Tact gives one last knock, before he walks away. The lockerroom door opens slightly and all we can see is a piercing eye watch as Tact walks away … and then we hear a chuckle. CUTTO: Back to ringside.)
JIVE: “You see that? Tact is trying to get an early advantage over Killer and his mystery partner!! WHAT A CREEP!”
GHEORGHE: “I think Tact is sending a message to Juliet Marceau and the mystery man, that here tonight, all bets are off. He isn’t going to be subdued by anyone, even if it is the mystery man!”
JIVE: “Well in only a few minutes we’re finally going to find out who this person is!!”
GHEORGHE: “Indeed, Nick. But first we move on to the FIRST battle bowl mania match up! Peter File and Jonathan Marx, who worked extremely well as a team in their first battle bowl match against Pyro and Jared Wells will be taking on Cross and The Renaissance Man … who defeated a (glances over at Jive) SOLE person in Trevor Cane.”
JIVE: “Oh I saw that! I told you, Tom. He wanted to make sure Cane was worthy enough by letting him win that one on his own. But Cane failed.”
GHEORGHE: “Renaissance Man was pretty quiet leading up to tonights match, and Cross was left to deal with Peter File’s … philosophy if you can call it that.”
JIVE: “I’m going to go out on a limb here, but I think that Peter File will FEEL his way through this match and win it for his team.”
GHEORGHE: “Well File does have the extremely athletic Jonathan Marx as his partner. The Renaissance Man is talented in his own right, but Marx has got the technical part down pat. This should be a great match.”
JIVE: “Any of these men will make fine victims for Suicidal Killer in the battle royal.”
GHEORGHE: “In case you don’t know, ladies and gentlemen, the losers of this match will be entered into the 1 and 3 slots in the quarterfinals of the Television title tournament.”
JIVE: “Of which they’ll eventually succumb to the American!”
GHEORGHE: “So you say.”
JIVE: “Not only will he be the Television title champion, but he’ll also be the first person in New ERA history to hold TWO titles at once!”
GHEORGHE: “The New ERA Universal title …. Is not a real title, Nick.”
JIVE: “It is so! Juliet Marceau proclaimed him as its champion, and so it is!”
GHEORGHE: “ (sighs) Let’s send this one up to Carl Jacobs.”
(CUTTO: The rampway as the battle bowl mania match lineup flies onto the screen. CUTTO: In ring as Carl Jacobs stands waiting to announce the match.)
JACOBS: “The following match is the first of our TWO remaining battle bowl mania matches in the quest for the FIRST ever NEW ERA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!”
(SFX: Crowd pops)
JACOBS: “This is scheduled for one fall and has a 30 minute time limit! Introducing first ….”
(CUEUP: ‘Sigur 1’ by Sigur Rios. Lilly appears comes out wearing her dirty overalls, with Peter File being led to the ring by a leash.)
JACOBS: “Being ….. led …. To the ring by Lilly …. He weighs 205 pounds and is from NEW HAVEN, CONNECTICUT ……… PETER FILE!”
GHEORGHE: “Lilly is DRAGGING Peter File down to ringside, Nick!”
JIVE: “That’s the type of girl I want!”
GHEORGHE: “Someone who looks 16 and calls you daddy? You know people get arrested for that kind of stuff, right?”
JIVE: “NO TOM! I mean a girl that can handle me sexually. Be kinky and all that shit!”
GHEORGHE: “I think the only woman who can do that is Mama Bernie .. she does shows at the local gay club in downtown Buffalo.”
JIVE: “Who the hell are you??”
JACOBS: “And his partner ….”
(CUEUP: ‘The Touch’ by Stan Bush. Jonathan Marx comes onto the stage to the fans cheers and looks in the ring as Lilly is making File get on his knees.)
JACOBS: “FROM PRINCETON, NEW JERSEY ………… Gentleman …… JONATHAN MARX!”
GHEORGHE: “Marx is walking very slowly down to the ring, waiting for Lilly and File to … stop …”
JIVE: “Don’t ever stop, baby.”
(CUEUP: ‘Crucify’ by Peace of Mind. The lights in the arena go out. Lighters begin to ignite in the arena. Simulated "thunder and lightning” starts to happen. On the entrance platform, a large spotlight breaks the darkness from above. In the circle of light is Cross with head lowered taking some large breaths of air. His head snaps up and Cross begins to ominously walk toward the ring as the arena lights slowly begin to return.)
JACOBS: “And their opponents …. First …. From Pasadena, California … he is the former A1E Champion of the World …….. CROSS!”
JIVE: “I love his entrance, Tom!”
GHEORGHE: “Cross is getting into the ring and his sights are set dead on Peter File!”
(CUEUP: 'Passport' by Klaus Doldinger. The Renaissance Man begins to walk down to ringside, a cocky smile on his face.)
JACOBS: “And his partner ……. From the French Riviera …. Being led to the ring by Mark Poole … THE RENAISSANCE MAN!”
(SFX: Bell rings)
GHEORGHE: “The bell has rung and Carl Jacobs had to jump out of the way as Cross flew across the ring and has started attacking PETER FILE!”
JIVE: “FILE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE HIS DOG COLLAR OFF YET!”
GHEORGHE: “Cross grabs the leash … AND HE IS STRANGLING FILE WITH IT!! Peter File is trying to make the tag to Jonathan Marx, but Cross DRAGS HIM INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING!!! AND NOW HE’S WHIPPING HIM WITH THE LEASH!”
JIVE: “I guess that’s the downfall of having a leather leash! Looks great when its being held by Lilly … but feels horrible when its being whipped across your back!”
GHEORGHE: “Lilly is screeching on the outside telling the ref to unhook him … and the ref works his way in there and gets the leash out of Cross’ hands. BUT CROSS GRABS IT BACK!!! CROSS RUNS ACROSS THE RING AND HOPS OVER THE TOP ROPE AND LANDS ON HIS FEET ON THE OUTSIDE WHILE FILE’S NECK IS BOUNCED OFF THE TOP ROPE!!”
CROWD: “N . E . W! N . E . W!”
JIVE: “The ref finally takes it off!”
GHEORGHE: “Cross rolls back into the ring as Peter File lay there in the middle …. And The Renaissance Man TAGS HIMSELF in!”
JIVE: “Cross does NOT look pleased!”
GHEORGHE: “Renaissance Man walks over to Peter File … and he drops the knee on the throat! Renaissance Man bounces off the ropes … AND CROSS TAGS HIMSELF BACK IN! The Renaissance Man turns around … and CROSS GETS UP IN HIS FACE!”
JIVE: “We can’t have this partner friction!”
GHEORGHE: “The Renaissance Man decides to step through the ropes … and Cross walks across to get File … and Peter File with a quick punch to the gut … another! But Cross rakes the eyes and then nails him with a European uppercut! Cross sets File up … Reverses for a neckbreaker ….. BUT FILE TURNS IT AROUND … AND DROPS DOWN WITH A JAWBREAKER!”
JIVE: “I don’t know where File got that burst of energy! Maybe it was from being smacked around a little!”
GHEORGHE: “File now crawling over to make the tag …. Cross is up and wildeyed! AND FILE MAKES THE TAG! Jonathan Marx quickly enters the ring …. And he kicks Cross in the stomach …. And DDTs him to the mat! Marx getting up .. and now he’s kicking Cross in the midsection … all the way across the ring!”
JIVE: “He’s not being a very good gentleman!”
GHEORGHE: “And the Renaissance Man tags himself back into the ring … he charges at Marx, DROP TOE HOLD and RENAISSANCE MAN FALLS FLAT ON HIS FACE! Marx with a floatover and he has the headlock locked on! Renaissance Man quickly trying to reverse out of it … AND HE ENDS UP ROLLING OVER …. ONE …… TWO ….. KICKOUT by Marx! What a smart move by the Renaissance Man!”
JIVE: “He’s quickwitted, unlike Marx!”
GHEORGHE: “Marx up before Renaissance Man …. Irish whips him into the corner …. Marx follows it in with a NICE running forearm. He hooks Renaissance Man … AND HE PUTS HIM ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! But Renaissance Man pokes him in the eyes and Marx turns around …… RENAISSANCE MAN COMES OFF THE SECOND ROPE WITH A BULLDOG AND BOTH MEN HIT THE MAT! And now Marx and Renaissance Man are making their ways to the corners to tag in their partners. Marx tags in File …”
JIVE: “Renaissance Man is in the wrong corner!! OPEN YOUR EYES!”
GHEORGHE: “Renaissance Man looks up and sees no one! Cross is yelling at him. Renaissance Man turns around… and File DROPKICKS HIM INTO THE CORNER! File with a scoop slam …. And now he is going up top!!!”
JIVE: “Peter File is one hell of a man!”
GHEORGHE: “FILE FLIES OFF and hits the moonsault!! The cover …. ONE ….. TWO …. THREE!”
JIVE: “No! Renaissance Man kicked out midway!”
GHEORGHE: “File hits the mat and now he locks on a half crab!! The referee checking to see if Renaissance Man wants to give in …… but he gets to the ropes! Peter File breaks the hold … Renaissance Man resting in between the ropes … FILE BOUNCES OFF THE OPPOSITE ROPES AND NOW CRASHES DOWN ON THE BACK OF RENAISSANCE MAN CHOKING HIM WITH THAT ROPE!”
JIVE: “How many times do you learn in wrestling school … never, EVER, drape yourself over the second rope.”
GHEORGHE: “File bounces off the ropes again …. AND AGAIN HOPS ONTO … Renaissance Man moved!!! FILE GOES THROUGH THE ROPES AND HITS THE FLOOR!”
JIVE: “That’s going to hurt one’s ass!”
GHEORGHE: “Lilly runs over to check on him as Renaissance Man rolls to the center of the ring!”
JIVE: “I know what’ll help File get better!”
GHEORGHE: “What?”
JIVE: “All Lilly gotta do is drop her top … and if she really wants to help … just lose ALL the clothing this week!!”
GHEORGHE: “You’re sick, Nick! Let’s hope for our sake that everyone keeps all their clothing on this match.”
JIVE: “ESPECIALLY FILE … you don’t know whats brewing down there!”
GHEORGHE: “Renaissance Man now rolling towards his corner as File gets up gingerly.. Peter File rolls into the ring JUST as Cross is tagged in! Cross walking over to Peter File …. FILE WITH A SMALL PACKAGE!!! ONE ….. TWO …. KICKOUT by Cross!”
JIVE: “I think Peter would take offense to the fact that you said he has a small package ….”
GHEORGHE: “Nick will you stop it!”
JIVE: “Well I’m just saying…”
GHEORGHE: “WELL STOP. Cross back up … and he picks up File ….. TBONE SUPLEX!! He covers File …. ONE ….. TWO ….. and Marx comes in to make the save!!”
JIVE: “Can’t the ref control him?? Cross should have won this right there!”
GHEORGHE: “Cross now up and he gets in Jonathan Marx’s face!! Marx is yelling right back at him! The referee is trying to get involved in this confrontation….. and FILE IS SNEAKING UP BEHIND CROSS!!! File ….. gets on his hands and knees behind CROSS???”
JIVE: “Ladies and gentlemen, you’re about to witness the sodomy of Cross…”
GHEORGHE: “MARX PUSHES CROSS AND HE TRIPS OVER THE BENT BODY OF PETER FILE!!! Cross is stunned ….. and File makes the tag!! Marx comes in ….. IRISH WHIPS CROSS INTO THE ROPES …. And RENAISSANCE MAN MAKES THE TAG ….. CROSS BACK … SPINEBUSTER BY MARX!!”
JIVE: “But Renaissance Man is the legal man!! GREAT TEAMWORK.”
GHEORGHE: “The ref explaining this to Marx … Marx turns around …. AND THE RENAISSANCE MAN HITS HIM IN THE GUT!! EXPLODER SUPLEX!!!! The Renaissance Man drags Marx into his corner …. And HE’S GOT HIM LOCKED UP IN THE EPILOGUE!!”
JIVE: “YES!! That’s a cross between an ankle lock and a sharpshooter!!”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx is yelling in pain!! He may get him to submit right here!!! WAIT …. CROSS TAGS HIMSELF IN AND THE REF IS FORCING RENAISSANCE MAN TO BREAK THE HOLD!!”
JIVE: “WHY WOULD CROSS DO THAT?? They were about to win!!”
GHEORGHE: “Mark Poole is now on the apron yelling at the referee telling him that he shouldn’t be able to tag in the middle of a move!! But the ref is saying that any tags are legal!!! And now Mark Poole is yelling at the ref as Cross has Marx set up for GOLGOTHA!!!”
JIVE: “TURN AROUND!”
GHEORGHE: “Peter File is in the ring!!! File turns CROSS AROUND!!! FILE WITH THE INVERTED DDT!! And now the ref turns around and sees Marx on the ground near his corner and File in the ring … he thinks FILE IS THE LEGAL MAN!!”
JIVE: “NOT FAIR!”
GHEORGHE: “File with the pin!! ONE …….. TWO …….. THREEE … NO! Cross barely kicked out!!! Now PETER FILE IS GOING UP TOP!!!!! WITH ANOTHER MOONSAULT!!! NO !!! Cross moved out of the way!!!”
JIVE: “There is still hope!”
GHEORGHE: “Cross now … REVERSE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!!! He’s calling for GOLGOTHA ON FILE!!! Cross picks up Peter File ….. BUT JONATHAN MARX COMES BACK WITH A DROPKICK ON CROSS AND HE AND FILE BOTH FLY INTO THE ROPES!!!”
JIVE: “MARX SHOULD BE DISQUALIFIED!”
GHEORGHE: “Marx exits the ring …. AND RENAISSANCE MAN TAGS HIMSELF BACK IN!! Cross GETS IN THE FACE OF THE RENAISSANCE MAN!! AND HE PUSHES HIM TO THE MAT!!”
JIVE: “This team is about to self-destruct!”
GHEORGHE: “Cross exits the ring ……. And he hops off the apron????? CROSS IS WALKING TO THE BACK!!! He is leaving The RENAISSANCE MAN ALL ALONE!”
JIVE: “POOLE DO SOMETHING!”
GHEORGHE: “Mark Poole is waddling up after Cross… BUT CROSS SHOVES HIM DOWN THE RAMPWAY AND POOLE ROLLS TO THE END!!! Renaissance Man is looking at Cross calling him to come back …..”
JIVE: “BEHIND YOU!”
GHEORGHE: “PETER FILE BEHIND RENAISSANCE MAN!! FISTFULL OF SEAMEN!!!! File has that crossface locked on!!! AND RENAISSANCE MAN GIVES UP!!! JONATHAN MARX AND PETER FILE ARE BOTH MOVING ON TO THE FINAL BATTLE ROYAL!!!”
JACOBS: "The winners of this match ..... PETER FILE and JONATHAN MARX!"
JIVE: “But what is happening to Cross?!? Why did he walk away?!”
GHEORGHE: “No clue, Nick!! What an exciting match!! Renaissance Man, however, seemed to piss off Cross one time too many, and it was undoubtedly his undoing! WHEN WE COME BACK ……. LARRY TACT and EL ARCO IRIS … hell, even SUICIDAL KILLER … will all find out the identity of the MYSTERY PARTNER!! JOIN US AFTER THESE COMMERCIALS!”
