(FADEIN: Marcus LaRoque’s lockerroom. He has a makeshift desk in which he is sitting behind. He looks pretty annoyed as he is looking over the piece of paper Juliet Marceau handed to him.)
LaROQUE: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here to discuss with you the actions that took place within the past 15 minutes. The Warden has taken Suicidal Killer to Smith’s Grove Penitentiary under the orders of a psychologist for immense tests.”
(LaRoque sighs)
LaROQUE: “They had deemed his contract with New ERA of Wrestling null and void due to his psychological status at the time. It is with deep regret that we announce that Suicidal Killer will no longer be on our roster.”
(LaRoque crumbles up the piece of paper and tosses it to the side.)
LaROQUE: “Unto bigger and better things, however. I am happy to announce that as of tomorrow we will be expanding our rosters to accommodate more than 16 members on our roster. We ARE, however, putting the tag team division on a partial leave of absence as there hasn’t been an interest as of yet in the division.”
(LaRoque looks straight into the camera.)
LaROQUE: “We will work, as always, on more tag teams, but until we can guarantee that there will be 6 active and willing participating teams, the division will be closed. There hasn’t been a set number openings in the singles division, although as of now we are looking at 24 to 27 as our limit. Thank for your time, and I apologize for all the confusion that has happened in the past few minutes.”
(CUTTO: Ringside.)
JIVE: “Killer is gone??”
GHEORGHE: “I can’t believe it!”
JIVE: “And the tag team division is gone?”
GHEORGHE: “Well I bet everyone could feel that one coming. The Troupe never got their other contract signed … and Doom ended up leaving New ERA faster than you could say saverob.net ….”
JIVE: “And now New ERA is opening up its doors to let even more people in…”
GHEORGHE: “The original limit of 16 singles fit perfectly with the Battle Bowl / Television Championship tournament scheme, but now that we’re almost through with both tournaments there is an expansion due. It was always in the cards, it just wasn’t announced till tonight.”
JIVE: “Wait .. you knew about this?”
GHEORGHE: “Of course I did..”
JIVE: “And you never told me?!”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen our final match up of the night features men with two different backgrounds. Brody Hansen is an amazing brawler … while Jean Rabesque is one of the most gifted technical wrestlers I have ever seen grace the ring.”
JIVE: “So another words, you’re picking Jean Rabesque.”
GHEORGHE: “Well let’s see … you chose Brody Hansen, and you’ve been zero for three so far … so I’m guessing that Rabesque is a safe bet.”
JIVE: “Hmph.”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque stunned the wrestling world last edition of RAUCOUS as he revealed himself, face to face, with Larry Tact, as the mystery partner of Suicidal Killer. Rabesque and Killer lost the match … but Tact and Rabesque had some very astonishing technical bouts between them. I’m very much looking forward to seeing that match up in the future.”
JIVE: “As is the wrestling world … but tonight is Hansen’s night … I can feel it.”
GHEORGHE: “Brody Hansen is a tough competitor. He managed to defeat former WFW World Champion Scotty Michaels, and put on a great fight in the Battle Bowl Mania round ...”
JIVE: “And now he’s going to be one step closer to the Television Championship.”
GHEORGHE: “Let’s go up to Carl Jacobs for the introductions and get this one underway!”
(CUTTO: The curtain on the rampway … the lineup for the main event flashes onto the screen before fading away.)
(CUTTO: Carl Jacobs.)
JACOBS: “The following match up is scheduled for one fall and a 30 minute time limit and is our MAIN EVENT …. It is the last quarterfinals match in the Television Championship tournament… INTRODUCING FIRST ….”
(CUEUP: ‘Shapes of Things’ by the Jeff Healey Band. Jean Rabesque enters through the curtain and the fans pop huge.)
JACOBS: “Standing 6 foot 1 and hailing from MONTREAL, QUEBEC, CANADA ……… JEAN RABESQUE!”
JIVE: “Look at him walking down the rampway … so pompous. I cannot wait until Brody Hansen slaps the spit right out of that cocky jaw.”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque is one of the greatest wrestlers past and present. If there is a cocky grin on his face, its well deserved. He uses his talent, he doesn’t need any persona like some of the others in this business.”
JIVE: “He’s still an ass.”
JACOBS: “And his opponent….”
(CUEUP: ‘Bad to the Bone’ by George Thorogood. Brody Hansen steps through the curtains and drags a stretcher down to ring behind him. He points to Rabesque, then at the stretcher .. Rabesque just shakes his head.)
JACOBS: “Weighing 275 pounds, and standing 6’5 …. He’s from LOCO, Oklahoma…… ‘the Southern Beast’….. BRODY HANSEN!”
(SFX: Bell rings)
JIVE: “Look at Hansen .. that’s a prime example of excellence.”
GHEORGHE: “Hansen is in great shape.”
JIVE: “Rabesque is going to have more than his hands full.”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque and Hansen are circling each other .. They lock up … and Hansen pushes Jean Rabesque off him, and Rabesque bounces into the ropes! Hansen smirks at him … Rabesque shakes it off … and they lock up again. Rabesque now with a go behind on Brody Hansen …. But Hansen hits him in the jaw with an ELBOW .. and Rabesque lets go … Hansen sends him into the ropes ….. comes back … CLOTHESLINE … But Rabesque under it …. Comes back … FLYING FOREARM SMASH! Brody Hansen hits the mat … but he is quickly back to his feet.”
JIVE: “I don’t think Brody was ready for that blatant cheating by Jean Rabesque.”
GHEORGHE: “Brody walks up to Rabesque … and hits him in the stomach with a big right .. Rabesque doubles over .. and Hansen locks him up ….. and he PILEDRIVES him into the mat! Hansen with a smile as he bad mouths Jean Rabesque!”
JIVE: “Let the beating commence!”
GHEORGHE: “Hansen picking Rabesque up from the mat … Rabesque with a few quick shots to the stomach of the Southern Beast .. but Hansen clobbers Rabesque in the back with a forearm. Hansen now grabbing the back of the tights … pulls Rabesque towards him and drills a forearm into the lower back.”
JIVE: “Did I mention how I think Hansen is going to be our first Television champion? He’s got all the tools necessary .. number one; he’s vicious.”
GHEORGHE: “Well since you were horribly wrong about Suicidal Killer…”
JIVE: “That doesn’t count since Killer’s contract was never valid.”
GHEORGHE: “Sure it doesn’t Nick. Hansen grabbing the back of the tights … and drills Rabesque again in the lower back. Jean Rabesque walks away grabbing his back.. AND HANSEN CLOTHESLINES HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Brody Hansen is taunting Jean Rabesque. Brody Hansen grabs the arms of Jean Rabesque and he’s dragging him into the center of the ring.”
JIVE: “They don’t call him the Southern Beast just for fun, Tom. This guy can make you hurt in 20, 30, 40 different ways.”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque has been in tons of hellacious matches, Nick. It won’t be long before he’ll be able to turn this thing around in his favor. All Hansen needs to do is mess up once.”
JIVE: “How he will do that when he’s complete control of the tempo is beyond me.”
GHEORGHE: “Hansen sits Rabesque up … charges at him AND KICKS HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE SHOULDER BLADES! Jean Rabesque rolls over into the corner … and the ref is making sure that Brody Hansen can’t follow him in.”
JIVE: “We need to fire all our referees.. they’re clearly biased!”
GHEORGHE: “Because they follow the rules?? Brody Hansen finally ignores the ref and heads into the corner… Rabesque kicks him in the knee cap… Hansen shakes it off and comes back in … and Rabesque with another kick …. AND NOW RABESQUE SPEARS THE LEGS OF BRODY HANSEN!”
JIVE: “SEE!! That wouldn’t have happened had the referee stayed out of it!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque slow to get up as its obvious the early start by Hansen has had some effect. But Hansen isn’t exactly moving so fast himself as he took those hits to the knee pretty hard. Both Hansen and Rabesque getting up at about the same time … Hansen throws a wild punch, but Rabesque ducks under it … he grabs Hansen around the waist…. BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!”
JIVE: “The referee totally ruined Brody’s momentum!”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque with a quick cover …. ONE …… TW.. KICKOUT! Rabesque shakes his head as if he knew that it was too soon .. Rabesque picks up Hansen …. SNAP SUPLEX! Rabesque doesn’t let go of the lock …. Rolls Hansen back up ….. ANOTHER SNAP SUPLEX!! Jean Rabesque HOLDS ON AGAIN ….. A THIRD SNAP SUPLEX!!”
JIVE: “Rabesque is going to tire himself out trying to lug Hansen around like that… keep on going!”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque covers Hansen again …. ONE ….. TWO … but Brody kicks out after two. Rabesque now taking the leg of Hansen … and he drives the knee into the mat! Rabesque down to one knee… and he’s applying pressure onto Hansen’s knee. That’s the same knee that he loosened up before spearing him.”
JIVE: “Rabesque isn’t just satisfied with his technical crap .. he wants to be known as the person who injured Brody Hansen! But the thing is … HE CAN’T!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque applying a lot of pressure onto the knee of Hansen… but Hansen manages to grab onto the bottom rope and the ref is telling Rabesque to release the hold.”
JIVE: “About damn time the ref did something right.”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque backs off as the ref goes to check on Brody Hansen. Hansen pulls himself off and is trying to shake off his bum knee….. AND RABESQUE COMES FROM BEHIND AND KICKS THE KNEE OUT FROM UNDER HIM! Rabesque now places the leg on the second rope …. And kicks it has hard as he can … AND HANSEN COMES BACK WITH A SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE THAT TAKES THEM BOTH TO THE MAT!”
JIVE: “Look at the stamina by the Southern Beast!”
GHEORGHE: “Both men are down on the mat as the referee starts his standing ten count.”
JIVE: “Hansen pulled that out of nowhere.”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque is stirring as the ref gets to six … and Hansen is trying to sit himself up. Rabesque up on his feet before ten .. and he walks over to Brody Hansen who has just gotten to his feet. Rabesque with a double axe handle … but Hansen elbows him in the face! Hansen sends Rabesque into the corner… CHARGES IN WITH A BIG BOOT …. BUT RABESQUE MOVES AND HANSEN HITS HIS LEG ON THE TURNBUCKLE!!! RABESQUE WITH A ROLL UP!!! ONE …… TWO ….. THRE—KICKOUT!”
JIVE: “If Hansen nailed that that would’ve been the end of Jean Rabesque as we knew it.”
GHEORGHE: “Hansen holding onto the damaged knee … Jean Rabesque goes to the second rope …. Comes off with a knee drop …. BUT HANSEN PUTS THE FOOT UP AND IT MEETS JEAN RABESQUE SQUARE IN THE JAW!”
JIVE: “I smell opossum!”
GHEORGHE: “Hansen covers Rabesque …. ONE ….. TWO …. KICKOUT. Hansen with some more shots to the chest of Jean Rabesque … and now he’s picking him up. Brody Hansen on his feet …. He’s picking up Rabesque for a POWERSLAM …. But his knee gives out and they both go down to the mat!!”
JIVE: “If Brody Hansen can just regain a little strength back in that knee, then he can simply overpower Rabesque the rest of the way.”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque has been in a ton of matches that have gone on forever… he’s a very experienced veteran. Hansen again on his feet … but Rabesque hooks the head …. JAWBREAKER. Hansen stumbles back …. Rabesque against the ropes ……. Comes back at Hansen …. GOES FOR A CLOTHESLINE BUT HANSEN CATCHES HIM IN A SPINEBUSTER!!! They’re both down on the mat again and the ref is checking with both men.”
JIVE: “What a gutsy move by the Southern Beast, Tom. To attempt to put all that weight on a knee that is already hurt shows that Hansen will do whatever it takes.”
GHEORGHE: “Brody Hansen showing some tenderness to the knee as he gets back to his feet … he is walking around the ring trying to shake off the pain again. I really think that the knee is giving him more problems than he’s showing us. Hansen walks over to Rabesque and picks him up. But Rabesque quickly manages to send Hansen over in a fireman’s carry! Rabesque now trying to capitalize on Hansen’s surprise. Jean Rabesque gets Hansen to his feet … locks the leg… RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP.”
JIVE: “And that’s not helping Brody anymore that it was before!”
JACOBS: “There are ten minutes left in the match.”
GHEORGHE: “Only ten minutes left as Jean Rabesque is looking to end this as soon as he can. Rabesque turning Hansen over … and he locks on a Boston Crab!”
JIVE: “Brody Hansen is too tough to submit … Rabesque is going to have to knock him out cold.”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque doesn’t have his hands locked like he should, but at this point in the match I really doubt if that will matter. Brody Hansen sees the ropes a short distance in front of him and tries to reach for them.”
JIVE: “He needs to be a little closer!”
GHEORGHE: “Brody Hansen reaching … reaching … and his fingers touch the bottom rope! Jean Rabesque releases the hold …. He comes towards Hansen … and drops the knee right in the breadbasket!”
JIVE: “Hansen needs a breather!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque takes the legs of Hansen … but Hansen won’t let go of the bottom rope!! The referee telling Rabesque he needs to let go …. But he keeps on tugging at Hansen ….. AND FINALLY HE PULLS HANSEN FREE AND HANSEN CRASHES DOWN ON THE MAT ON HIS BACK! Jean Rabesque hooks his hands with the pin attempt… ONE …… TWO ……. THREEE….. No! Brody Hansen kicked out at 2.999!”
JIVE: “I was about to have a heart attack! I can’t go 0 for 4 tonight!!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque picks up Brody Hansen … sends him into the ropes …. Puts his head down ….. BUT HANSEN ON THE WAY BACK CATCHES HIM LOOKING AND DRIVES RABESQUES HEAD INTO THE MAT WITH A DESPERATION DDT!”
JIVE: “Hey! How come when Rabesque does it it’s a great move, but when Hansen does it its in desperation???”
GHEORGHE: “Hansen is at the end of his rope, Nick … Both men are lying in the middle of the ring ….”
JACOBS: “ There are FIVE minutes remaining in the match.”
JIVE: “FIVE??? BRODY!! GET THE HELL UP AND FINISH THIS!”
GHEORGHE: “Both men are down still.”
REF: “ONE …. TWO ….. THREE …… FOUR ….. FIVE ….”
GHEORGHE: “Hansen starting to move a little …”
REF: “SIX …… SEVEN …… EIGHT …”
GHEORGHE: “Hansen sits up and the ref stops his count.”
JIVE: “That’s all we needed was a double knockout.”
GHEORGHE: “Brody Hansen looking over at Jean Rabesque who just moved his foot … and now Hansen crawls over to Jean Rabesque for the cover! ONE ……. TWO ……. THR … KICKOUT. Jean Rabesque managed to kick out at the last second. Hansen noticeably perturbed. Hansen now using Rabesque to get himself up!”
JACOBS: “There are FOUR minutes remaining in the match.”
GHEORGHE: “A time limit draw would eliminate both men, and I doubt either wants to see this happen after the amount of effort each man has put into this match.”
JIVE: “You mean, Brody’s great effort and Rabesque’s leeching!”
GHEORGHE: “Brody Hansen up on his feet, but he is limping bad, Nick.”
JIVE: “He’s trying to keep up the charade, Tom. Jean might be smart, but Brody is obviously smarter!”
GHEORGHE: “Brody Hansen is calling for the end of this match!! He is calling for the BIG BOOT as Jean Rabesque is just starting to shake the cobwebs out of his ears!”
JACOBS: “There are THREE minutes remaining in the match.”
GHEORGHE: “Brody Hansen picks up Rabesque by the hair … BUT RABESQUE TRIES TO COUNTER WITH ANOTHER JAWBREAKER! NO! HANSEN KNEES RABESQUE IN THE STOMACH!!”
JIVE: “He saw that one coming a mile away! Your antics are through, Jean!”
GHEORGHE: “Brody Hansen with Jean Rabesque leaning against the ropes …. He irish whips .. reversal by Rabesque!!! Hansen off the other ropes …..”
JACOBS: “There are two minutes remaining in the match.”
JIVE: “NO TWO MINUTES!”
GHEORGHE: “RABESQUE WITH A CLOTHESLINE …. BUT HANSEN DUCKS AND IS OFF THE OTHER ROPES …….. BIG BOOT!!!”
JIVE: “YES!”
GHEORGHE: “NO! JEAN RABESQUE DUCKS UNDER IT!!! HE CAUGHT HANSON’S FOOT AND BRINGS HIM DOWN TO THE MAT!!!!”
JIVE: “There’s only 2 minutes left!!! Brody needs to stop fooling around!!”
GHEORGHE: “RABESQUE HAS A HOLD OF ONE OF HANSEN’S LEGS!!! Hansen is STUNNED….. AND RABESQUE TWISTS IT AROUND AND LOCKS ON THE FIGURE FOUR IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!! BRODY HANSEN HAS NOWHERE TO GO!!!”
JIVE: “HOLD ON BRODY!!! I can get President LaRoque to give you another shot!!!”
GHEORGHE: “Brody Hansen is screaming in pain!! He is trying to get the ropes but they are far outside his reach!!!! JEAN RABESQUE IS APPLYING MORE PRESSURE AND SLAPPING HANSEN IN THE FACE TELLING HIM TO SUBMIT!!!”
JACOBS: “THERE IS ONE MINUTE REMAINING IN THIS MATCH!”
JIVE: “HOLD OUT!! DON’T SUBMIT!!!”
GHEORGHE: “HANSEN IS SLOWLY GIVING UP THE FIGHT!!!! HANSEN ….. HANSEN ……”
JACOBS: “There are 30 SECONDS left in the match …. “
GHEORGHE: “HANSEN HAS JUST GIVEN UP!!!”
(SFX: Bell rings)
JIVE: “WHAT!!”
JACOBS: “The winner of this match by submission at the time of 29 MINUTES and 34 SECONDS ……. And moving on to the semi finals of the New ERA TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT ……. JEAN RABESQUE!”
(CUEUP: ‘The Shapes of Things’ by the Jeff Healey Band as Jean Rabesque releases the Figure Four and rolls slowly to the corner where the ref raises his hand from the mat. Rabesque rests his head on the bottom turnbuckle.)
JIVE: “NO! NO! NO!”
GHEORGHE: “Brody Hansen couldn’t hold on for 26 more seconds and Jean Rabesque is going to move on to take on The Renaissance Man in Towson, Maryland!”
JIVE: “WHAT A CROCK OF SHI..”
GHEORGHE: “For my colleague, Mr ZERO for FOUR Nick Jive ….. I am Tom Gheorghe …. THANK YOU ALL FOR TUNING IN TONIGHT … JOIN US NEXT TIME LIVE FROM THE GOUCHER COLLEGE SPORTS CENTRE!!!”
(FADEOUT: On Brody Hansen, lying in the middle of the ring, his face still cringing in pain. FADE TO BLACK.)
