(FADEIN: Backstage. Peter File and Lily are walking back and forth, not looking very happy. Marcus LaRoque is seen walking down a corridor away from them as the camera cuts to ringside.)
JIVE: “What the hell is going on? Why are Peter File and Lily not very happy?”
GHEORGHE: “I don’t know. Fans, in case you’re just joining us, before we went to commercial, we saw Larry Tact and President Marcus LaRoque talking … and now we just have seen looks of displeasure from his opponent in our next match, Peter File .. I don’t know what’s going on .. I haven’t gotten any word on whats happening.”
JIVE: “I hope that Tact didn’t ruin File’s ring of ‘special assistants’!”
GHEORGHE: “I am pretty sure that LaRoque already knows about File’s half nude barely legal assistants, Nick.”
JIVE: “Shhh, you’re not supposed to say that on air!”
GHEORGHE: “Oh. Sorry.”
JIVE: “Uh, so, yea.”
GHEORGHE: “Tact and File should put on a great match as both of these guys are extremely talented… they wouldn’t be in the final battle royal for a chance to become the very first New ERA World Heavyweight Champion!”
JIVE: “But Peter File has an advantage … and those .. err, I mean, that would be his lovely manager Lily.”
GHEORGHE: “Lily was a huge factor in File and Marx’s first round victory over Jared Wells and Pyro on the inaugural edition of RAUCOUS .. and I think guys, and even some women, around the world are waiting for an encore.”
JIVE: “I know I sure as hell am!”
GHEORGHE: “This is a special preview match, like the Jonathan Marx and El Arco Iris match. Really the only thing at stake in this match is momentum and confidence… Jonathan Marx has already won his preview event tonight.”
JIVE: “And now Peter File is going to BLOW past Larry Tact …”
GHEORGHE: “Nick.”
JIVE: “Yes?”
GHEORGHE: “Nevermind. Let’s give our attention to Carl Jacobs .. maybe he can shed some light on this.”
(CUTTO: Carl Jacobs standing in the ring. The lineup for this match flashes on the screen, and slowly pulls apart, splitting it in the middle.)
JACOBS: “The following match up is scheduled for one fall… is scheduled for a 30 minute time limit…”
JIVE: “File won’t even need 5.”
JACOBS: “AND IS NOW A RINGFULL OF WEAPONS MATCH!”
(SFX: Chants cheer and chant N . E . W! N . E . W!)
JIVE: “WHAT!”
GHEORGHE: “OH MY GOD. That must be what Larry Tact was talking to Marcus LaRoque about! That is why Peter File and Lily were pissed off!”
JACOBS: “By Presidential Mandate .. the ring will be surrounded by 4 trash barrels full of weapons that can be used on either opponent. HOWEVER … the only way to win this match is by PINFALL …. INSIDE THE RING!”
JIVE: “THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!”
GHEORGHE: “What an announcement!”
JIVE: “FIRST KILLER NOW FILE!”
JACOBS: “Introducing first …”
(Some people bring out the four trash barrels. We can see billy clubs, handcuffs, tazers, as well as brass knuckles amongst other things. CUEUP: 'Sigur 1 (Vaka)' by Sigur Ros.)
JACOBS: “Hailing from New Haven, Connecticut.”
(Peter File and Lily come from behind the curtain to a chorus of boos and they don’t look none too happy, although File manages to lick some people on his way down.)
JACOBS: “Being led down to the ring by his manager Lily … he stands 6’1” and weighs in 205 pounds …… PETER FILE!”
JIVE: “File is looking at those barrels as he steps into the ring ..”
JACOBS: “And his opponent..”
(CUEUP: ‘Karma’ by Diffuser. The fans pop as Larry Tact comes through the curtain holding a steel chair.)
JIVE: “Someone needs to take that chair away from him! Only weapons from those barrels should be legal!”
GHEORGHE: “I don’t Tact will even need to use the chair, Nick.”
JIVE: “Wait .. whats that on his hand!?”
GHEORGHE: “IT’S A STEEL CHAIN!”
JACOBS: “FROM Manhattan, New York.. He stands 6’6” and 245 pounds…”
(Tact reaches ringside and smiles at File who is on the inside.)
JACOBS: “LARRY TACT!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORGHE: “Here we go! Finally, Tact and File run at each other full force. They are laying into each other with lefts and rights as Lily yells from the outside! Tact hits a few vicious kicks to File, bending him over at the waist, before hitting a knee to the face. File falls down to his knees and Tact goes for a legdrop, but he misses it and hits the ground hard. File rolls over and gets up.”
JIVE: “So far Peter File has managed to elude the weapons..”
GHEORGHE: “File lifts Larry Tact up … throws him into the ropes … and hits him with an Axe Bomber clothesline, knocking Tact off his feet. BUT LARRY TACT ROLLS OUT AND GRABS HIS CHAIR!”
JIVE: “C’mon! File needs to stop him!”
GHEORGHE: “But here comes Lily! Lily trying to distract Tact .. she is licking her lips .. AND HERE COMES PETER FILE FROM BEHIND! He hooks Tact’s head from behind, sending him for a ride with a reverse suplex! Lily gives Peter File the chair … FILE NAILS TACT IN THE BACK WITH THE CHAIR!!”
JIVE: “Hurt him … hurt him bad!”
GHEORGHE: “File stands there helping Tact up, but then drops him with a vicious STO .. File gets up and rolls Tact back into the ring before rolling in himself. File throws Tact into the ropes and as he bounces back, lays a elbow into his face forcing him to the ground. Peter File really working over Larry Tact at the get go!”
JIVE: “File knows what it takes to get himself off .. err over Tact.”
GHEORGHE: “ Now where is Peter File going?”
JIVE: “I’m sure he’s got a good reason for leaving the ring..”
GHEORGHE: “PETER FILE GRABS A TABLE FROM UNDERNEATH THE RING AND SLIDES IT INTO THE RING!!”
JIVE: “He is going to put him through the table!”
GHEORGHE: “Tact is now back to his feet and grabs File! File goes for a heel kick and nails Tact right in the ribs .. FILE SETS UP THE TABLE!!! LARRY TACT IS UP ON HIS FEET!!! FILE TURNS AROUND BUT LARRY TACT IS THERE!!! LARRY TACT PICKS UP PETER FILE AND DRIVES FILE THROUGH THE TABLE WITH A SPINE BUSTER!!!”
JIVE: “He is trying to put File out of commission for good!”
GHEORGHE: “TACT WITH THE COVER …… ONE …….. TWO ….. THR—KICKOUT BY FILE!”
JIVE: “Thank the lord!”
GHEORGHE: “File laying there for a minute but now Larry Tact rolls him outside off the apron, letting his body fall against the concrete floor! Tact picks up a piece from the broken table, throwing it to the outside in front of the steel steps. Larry Tact now hops to the outside … and he empties one of the barrels! Larry Tact picks up … A HOCKEY STICK!”
JIVE: “Maybe Tact is thinking about playing professional hockey… he should go do it now .. you know, something he could be talented at .. because he fails at wrestling.”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact is winding up … AND HE NAILS PETER FILE RIGHT IN THE BACK AND THE HOCKEY STICK SNAPS IN HALF!”
CROWD: “N . E . W ! N . E . W !”
JIVE: “That is gonna hurt in the morning!”
GHEORGHE: “Tact slides File into the ring … and goes for the COVER!!! ONE ……. TWO …… THRE—NOOOOO! Peter File manages to kick out AGAIN!” Larry Tact now watches as Peter File tries to get to his feet … File not moving very fast .. but he finally stands up and now Larry Tact moves in … Tact hits a punch to the ribs, and now he nails Peter File with a back knuckle to the face!”
JIVE: “Larry Tact is showing that he can brawl … surprising considering how great of a technical wrestler he is …”
GHEORGHE: “So you admit that Larry Tact is a great technical wrestler!”
JIVE: “What? Where am I? Who are you?”
GHEORGHE: “We have it on tape, Nick..”
JIVE: “I’m under the influence of idiocy … I’ve been sitting here too long listening to you talk, its affected my ability to think clearly.”
GHEORGHE: “Excuses. Tact now hits an elbow to the right shoulder of Peter File … and now he knees File in the stomach! Peter File walking around trying to shake off this attack ….. BUT LARRY TACT TAKES HIM DOWN WITH A CLOTHESLINE THAT PRACTICALLY POPPED HIS HEAD OFF HIS SHOULDERS!”
JIVE: “Tact will get whats coming to him …”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact now grabs a chair …. And he’s placing it in the MIDDLE OF THE RING!! Tact picks up Peter File ….. he lifts him up in a bearhug and then slams him down in a spinebuster hard on the steel chair!! TACT WITH THE PIN! ONE …… TWO ….. BUT FILE KICKS OUT AGAIN!”
JIVE: “Peter File showing everyone what CHAMPIONS are made out of!”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact picks up Peter File once more … kicks the chair out of the way and goes for a back breaker …. HE … DROPPED HIM … TACT JUST DROPPED HIM …”
JIVE: “What the hell? Why’d he just drop him .. he’s looking at the …. OH HELL.”
(The fans pop as Jean Rabesque is shown standing at the top of the rampway watching Larry Tact.)
GHEORGHE: “LARRY TACT IS STARING AT JEAN RABESQUE … AND NOW HE IS YELLING UP AT RABESQUE!”
JIVE: “Larry Tact is allowing Peter File to catch his breath and File is starting to get up!”
GHEORGHE: “FILE IS WALKING UP BEHIND LARRY TACT!!”
JIVE: “Jean Rabesque just pointed non-chalantly at the ring ..”
GHEORGHE: “TACT TURNS AROUND AND HE GETS SMACKED IN THE HEAD WITH THE STEEL CHAIR! Peter File NOW RAMMING THAT CHAIR INTO THE HEAD OF LARRY TACT!”
JIVE: “I told you that Tact would get what was coming to him! Who knew that it’d be Jean Rabesque to do it!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque has gone back through the curtain … but needless to say that his presence here on the ramp has changed the momentum of this match back into Peter File’s court!”
JIVE: “Needless to say? OF COURSE IT IS! Peter File is playing plastic surgeon with Larry Tact’s face … and the chair is his operating knife!”
GHEORGHE: “Peter File grabs Tact’s legs …. and locks on a sharpshooter! Larry Tact is holding out, but he is in an immense amount of pain! I think that slam on the chair did a big number on him!”
JIVE: “Now let’s hope that Tact’s legs are so worn out that he cannot kick out of a pin!”
GHEORGHE: “File finally releasing the sharpshooter .. and Larry Tact is still down … Peter File rolls to the outside … AND FILE HAS A NIGHTSTICK!!! Peter File rolls back into the ring and picks LARRY TACT UP!! Peter File goes behind Tact and hits a spinning elbow right to the back of Tact’s head …. TACT DOUBLED OVER ….. AND PETER FILE DRIVES THAT NIGHTSTICK RIGHT INTO THE LOWER BACK OF LARRY TACT BRINGING TACT TO HIS KNEES!”
JIVE: “Yes! Show him whose daddy!”
GHEORGHE: “File now runs off the opposite side ropes and thrusts his boot right down the INTO TACT’S BACK! Tact drops down and now Peter File takes the nightstick … AND CLOTHESLINES HIM TO THE MAT!!! PETER FILE WITH THE COVER …… ONE ……. TWO ……. THR—KICKOUT BY TACT!”
JIVE: “I thought it was over!”
GHEORGHE: “You’re the one who said don’t count your eggs before they hatch, right?”
JIVE: “Shutup.”
GHEORGHE: “Both File and Tact are looking pretty beat right now … They’re both getting up at the same time, albeit slowly …. FILE realizes their positions … File runs at TACT!! BUT LARRY TACT CATCHES HIM AND TAKES HIM DOWN WITH A SIDEWALK SLAM!!!! LARRY TACT WITH THE COVER ….. ONE …… TWO ….. THR—NOOOOOOOOO! Peter File kicked out!”
JIVE: “No! File is still hanging on and fighting!”
GHEORGHE: “They both get up again and now Tact goes to lock up with File again …. Larry Tact sends File into the ropes …… AND KICKS HIM IN THE STOMACH ON THE WAY BACK …… HOOKS HIM ….. POWERBOMB ONTO THE CHAIR!!!!! He covers him ….. ONE ……….. TWO ………. THREE!”
JIVE: “I DON’T BELIEVE IT!”
GHEORGHE: “PETER FILE KICKED OUT! File kicked out at the last moment!! Larry Tact gets up … and he brings Peter File to his feet …LOCK UP …. Larry Tact tosses Peter File into the ropes ….. File comes back …. AND LARRY TACT TRIPS HIM UP WITH A DROP TOE HOLD AND FILE’s HEAD HITS THE CHAIR ON THE WAY DOWN!!!”
JIVE: “Noooo! File can’t keep taking this punishment.”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact with the cover ……… ONE …………… TWO ………. THREEEE!!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JIVE: “Damn it!!! Larry Tact is the new Jared Wells!”
JACOBS: “The winner of this match via pinfall ……… LARRY TACT!”
GHEORGHE: “What a GREAT match between these two wrestlers!! If this and the Marx / Iris match are truly preview events to the Fatal Fourway Battle Royal set for the next edition of RAUCOUS … then we’re in for a REAL treat!!!”
JIVE: “What the hell are you talking about?! If Peter File had won, then we’d be in for a treat!!!”
(CUTTO: Ringside as Larry Tact rolls out of the ring and holds his back all the way up the ramp. Lily is now in the ring trying to wake up Peter File.)
GHEORGHE: “Lily is in the ring trying to revive Peter File … but we’ve got to go to a commercial break. When we come back, Jean Rabesque and The Renaissance Man will face off to see who will meet John Doe in the Television Championship Tournament FINALS to be held on the title-crowning episode of RAUCOUS!”
