JACOBS: “The following tag team match is tonight’s main event and is for the #1 Contendership of the NEW ERA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!! Introducing tonight’s first team …”
(CUEUP: ‘Only Happy When It Rains’ by Garbage as Jonathan Marx and Peter File are led to the ring by Lily.)
JIVE: “Look at this unity! Marx and File are coming out at the same time.”
JACOBS: “Being led to the ring by Lily. From Princeton, New Jersey, weighing 215 pounds and standing six foot two … he is ‘Gentleman’ JONATHAN MARX … and his partner.. from New Haven, Connecticut. Standing six foot one and weighing 205 pounds ….. PETER FILE!”
(File and Marx get in the ring. File gets on all fours as Lily sits on his back like he’s a horse.)
DOE: “File is a weird one .. I wouldn’t mind getting in the ring with him because he’s definitely talented.”
JIVE: “Much more talented than you.”
JACOBS: “And their opponents.. introducing first … from the OTHER SIDE OF THE RAINBOW….”
(CUEUP: 'Tunak Tunak Tun' by Daler Mehndi as the strobe lights spray all sorts of rainbow colors everywhere. El Arco Iris comes down the rampway hugging all the fans he can.)
JACOBS: “He stands five foot six and weighs 190 pounds ….. EL …… ARCO ….. IRIS!”
GHEORGHE: “Iris is one of the brightest youngsters I have ever met.”
JIVE: “He’s even fruitier than File.”
JACOBS: “And his partner …… from Manhattan, New York...”
(SFX: Fans pop huge. CUEUP: ‘Karma’ by Diffuser as Larry Tact steps through the curtains with the World Heavyweight Championship around his waist.)
JACOBS: “He stands six foot six and weighs 244 pounds … he is the HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD ……. LARRY TACT!”
(Tact walks down the rampway and hands his title to the ref. Iris and Tact get in the ring and look at Marx and File … who is still being ridden by Lily.)
DOE: “I’m not sure the Champ knows what to make of File.”
JIVE: “Peter File would have a huge advantage in ring psychology if they were to meet up. Hell, he already has a huge advantage elsewhere, if you know what I mean…”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
DOE: “Looks like Peter File and the World Heavyweight Champion are going to start things off here tonight.”
GHEORGHE: “Tact very carefully circling File as they collar and elbow tie up in the center of the ring. Tact quickly wrenches the arm around and goes behind File …. BUT HE RELEASES THE HOLD AS FILE’s OTHER HAND GOES ROAMING BEHIND HIM AS WELL!”
DOE: “File doesn’t shy away from trying to feel up his opponents!”
GHEORGHE: “File turns around and winks at Tact …. AND TACT KNOCKS HIM OFF HIS FEET WITH A HUGE CLOTHESLINE!”
JIVE: “Tact was lucky that File’s eyes were closed! He can take advantage of his opponents rage.”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact drags File up by his hair and sends him into the corner … and File tags in Jonathan Marx!”
DOE: “I bet Tact feels a lot more comfortable with Marx in the ring. Don’t forget, it was these two guys who were the last two in the ring during the Fatal Fourway battle royal where Tact won the title.”
JIVE: “In other words, Tact was afraid of File so he wanted Marx.”
GHEORGHE: “Marx comes to the center of the ring and he and Tact go into a collar and elbow tieup now. Marx backs Tact into the ropes and the ref is calling for a break. Marx backs up … BUT THEN DRIVES THE ELBOW INTO THE HEAD OF TACT!! Tact stumbles from the ropes and Marx hiptosses him to the mat! Tact now getting to his feet as Marx backs him into the ropes … irish whips him to the other side … Tact and Marx off opposite ropes … AND MARX COMES OFF WITH A FLYING FOREARM THAT TAKES THE WORLD CHAMPION TO THE MAT! The cover …. ONE …… TW—No!! The Champ kicks out!”
DOE: “Marx looks like he wants to show Tact what a one on one encounter would be like between those two.”
GHEORGHE: “Marx quickly locks on a chinlock and he puts the knee right between the blades of the back as he is bending the neck backwards. The ref goes to ask if Tact wants to submit, but he waves him away before he even gets there.”
JIVE: “No, he was waving to submit! Don’t the referees know the difference??”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact manages to roll to his side and the move is broken. Jonathan Marx now walks over and tags in Peter File. File walking towards the World Champion … Peter File has the Champion .. AND HE HAS HIM IN A BEAR HUG …. AND CHUCKS HIM OVER HIS HEAD IN A BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!”
JIVE: “The world was on its seat to see what happened.”
GHEORGHE: “Peter File now in the face of Larry Tact … AND HE’s CARESSING THE FACE OF TACT!! TACT SLAPS HIS HAND AWAY AND GRABS HIM BY THE THROAT!”
DOE: “Peter File’s eroticism just may be the end of him.”
GHEORGHE: “LARRY TACT PICKS UP PETER FILE AND PLANTS HIM INTO THE MAT WITH A CHOKESLAM! Now the World Champion tags in his partner and El Arco Iris is on the top rope!!”
JIVE: “Can’t we go one show without a rainbow streaking across the screen?”
GHEORGHE: “IRIS UP AND MOONSAULTS ONTO PETER FILE!! ONE …… TWO …… and Peter File kicks out before three! Iris now locks on a Fujiwara armbar submission hold and File looks to be in immense pain!”
DOE: “Iris looks to have that hold perfectly implemented. It is very difficult to get out of, if you ask me.”
JIVE: “You’d find it difficult to get out of a paper bag.”
GHEORGHE: “What is Lily doing? LILY IS UP ON THE APRON!”
JIVE: “YES! LE TITTAY PART DEUX!”
GHEORGHE: “The referee is trying to get her down … AND JONATHAN MARX IS IN THE RING .. MARX DROPS THE ELBOW AND BREAKS UP THE SUBMISSION HOLD!”
JIVE: “Awww! Lily just hopped off the apron!”
GHEORGHE: “The ref turns around and sees File in his own corner. Marx tags himself in as El Arco Iris is getting to his feet.”
DOE: “Jonathan Marx is playing it smart. He is doing everything in his power to make sure his team comes out on top.”
GHEORGHE: “Marx in the ring now and he charges Iris … IRIS WITH A LEAPFROG OVER MARX AS MARX COMES AGAINST THE ROPES!! Marx comes back … IRIS WITH ANOTHER LEAP—NO! Marx catches him and DRIVES HIM TO THE MAT WITH A SPINEBUSTER! Marx with the cover ….. ONE ….. TWO ….. THR—NO! Larry Tact broke up the pin attempt!”
JIVE: “Someone get Tact out of there! He shouldn’t be interfering like that!”
DOE: “Yet Marx can?”
JIVE: “I didn’t see Marx do anything illegal.”
GHEORGHE: “Marx turns around … and HE DECKS LARRY TACT RIGHT IN THE MOUTH! NOW LARRY TACT DECKS HIM BACK!!”
JIVE: “Here comes File!”
GHEORGHE: “Peter File now in the ring and he gets on the back of Larry Tact and locks him in a sleeper!! But Tact flips him over to the mat! Jonathan Marx elbows Tact in the stomach … RUSSIAN LEGSWEEPS HIM TO THE MAT!! Peter File on top of Tact and he is pounding him in the face with lefts and rights! The referee has lost control of this match!”
DOE: “I was waiting for this.”
GHEORGHE: “Iris is back up and he’s against the ropes … Marx turns around .. LOU THESZ PRESS BY IRIS! Iris gets up .. AND HE GRABS PETER FILE BY THE HAIR! HURRICANRANA BY IRIS AND FILE GOES FLYING ACROSS THE MAT! And Lily pulls him out of harm’s way.”
JIVE: “Lily is a godsend!”
GHEORGHE: “Tact makes his way to his corner and Iris tags him in. Tact over to Marx.. FULL NELSON SLAM! Tact with the cover … ONE ….. TWO …. KICKOUT. Larry Tact goes into the corner … Jonathan Marx getting to his feet slowly … AND TACT COMES OUT AND BRINGS HIM RIGHT BACK DOWN WITH A KICKSWING DDT!”
DOE: “The World Champion trying to get this thing back under control.. and it looks like he’s doing a damn good job at it.”
JIVE: “Stop sucking up, Doe. He’s not going to give you a title shot.”
DOE: “I don’t need to kiss ass to keep my job like you do.”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact quick to tag Iris back in .. Iris against the ropes … and he drops the leg on Marx. Iris gets to his feet .. picks up Jonathan Marx … hooks him around the waist. NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX .. bridges …. ONE …. TWO …. THRE—NO! Marx kicks out AGAIN!”
JIVE: “Marx showing a lot of stamina here.”
(SFX: Fans pop)
DOE: “Look whose here.”
JIVE: “Oh come on .. can’t he disappear? He’s going to kill our ratings.”
GHEORGHE: “JEAN RABESQUE HAS JUST STEPPED THROUGH THE CURTAINS AND HE IS WALKING DOWN THE RAMPWAY!”
JIVE: “Just because he was punked out by Tact last edition of RAUCOUS doesn’t mean he has to come out here tonight.”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque now walking around the ring as Tact and he are exchanging glances.. and Rabesque takes a seat next to the timekeeper! Back in the ring Iris is waiting for Marx to get up …. Marx on his feet, and Iris irish whips him into the ropes … Iris on the opposite ropes …… FLYING FOREARM!! The fans are on their feet as Iris gets up and starts pounding his foot!”
DOE: “Iris is getting ready for the Happy Dance!”
JIVE: “He doesn’t look too happy now!”
GHEORGHE: “PETER FILE IN THE RING AND HE JUST TOOK IRIS DOWN WITH A REVERSE CRESCENT KICK! Tact now trying to come into the ring, but the referee is holding him back! Peter File takes advantage of this and he hooks Iris… FILE WITH HIS HANDS AT IRIS’ CROTCH ….. BUT HE HOOKS HIS HAND …. PUMPHANDLE SLAM!”
JIVE: “What else did you think he was going to do?”
DOE: “Come on now, you know.”
JIVE: “You have a dirty mind, Doe.”
GHEORGHE: “Marx now back up … and he tells File to hold up Iris! JONATHAN MARX IS GOING TO THE TOP ROPE! Marx perched atop the top rope … HE COMES OFF WITH A TOMAHAWK CHOP TO THE HEAD OF IRIS AND IRIS GOES TO THE MAT!”
DOE: “Finally the ref gets over and tells File to exit the ring.”
JIVE: “The damage is already done, though … and Tact’s title is going to be on the line!!! I love it!”
GHEORGHE: “Marx tags in Peter File … and File walks around Iris.. File hooks a leg … and locks Iris in a Half Boston crab! El Arco Iris trying to fight it … and File is leaning WAY back!! Iris making his way to Tact though!! Iris moving very slowly as File is leaning back…. Iris almost there ….. AND LILY HOPS UP ON THE APRON!! LILY IS YELLING AT THE REFEREE!!”
DOE: “The referee should ignore her.”
GHEORGHE: “The referee over to Lily to get her off the apron … AND IRIS TAGS IN TACT!! TACT IS IN THE RING AND HE WALLOPS FILE FROM BEHIND!”
JIVE: “Wait .. Rabesque is up and he has a chair!”
GHEORGHE: “The Television champion has the chair he was sitting in and HES ON THE APRON!!! Larry Tact picks up File …. He TURNS AROUND ….”
(SFX: Smack of the chair.)
GHEORGHE: “RABESQUE SWINGS THE CHAIR BUT TACT MOVED AND RABESQUE CLOBBERED PETER FILE WITH THE CHAIR! Tact looks down at File’s body …. Then looks back up…”
(SFX: Smack of the chair.)
GHEORGHE: “AND RABESQUE JUST DECKED TACT WITH THE CHAIR AND HE FALLS TO THE MAT!! Rabesque drags him out of the ring to the arena floor!”
RABESQUE: “Who’s the man NOW, Larry?”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque taunting Tact and he turns and begins walking up the rampway!!! The ref turns back due to the noise …. AND HE SEES IRIS COVERING FILE!!! The ref makes the count …….. ONE ………… TWO …………… THREEEEEE!”
DOE: “It’s over!”
JIVE: “DAMN THAT RABESQUE! He just cost Peter File the World Heavyweight Championship shot!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JACOBS: “The winners of this match ……. EL ARCO IRIS and the World Heavyweight Champion …. LARRY TACT!”
DOE: “So what happens now?!?”
GHEORGHE: “I have no clue! The stipulation was that if File or Marx won they’d get the title sho…”
