JACOBS: “The following match is tonight’s MAIN EVENT and is for the New ERA of Wrestling TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!!! Introducing first ….”
(CUEUP: ‘You Could be Mine’ by Guns n’ Roses. Chaos walks to the ring … with a smug smile on his face.)
JACOBS: “Hailing from LAS VEGAS, NEVADA …… he stands SEVEN feet tall and weighs in at 305 pounds …….. the #1 contender to the TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP …… CHAOS!!!!”
JIVE: “Look at Chaos. He …. Is …. A monster!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque is going to have more than his hands full tonight!”
JACOBS: “And his opponent…”
(CUEUP: ‘Shapes of Things’ by the Jeff Healey Band as the fans pop.)
JACOBS: “From MONTREAL, QUEBEC, CANADA ……..”
(Rabesque walks through the curtains, the Television title strapped around his waist.)
JACOBS: “Standing six foot one and weighing in at 241 pounds …… he is the NEW ERA of WRESTLING TELEVISION CHAMPION …… JEAN RABESQUE!”
(SFX: Bell rings as Rabesque enters the ring and hands the title to the referee.)
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque is standing right in front of Chaos .. and Chaos is smiling at Rabesque ……. AND CHAOS ATTACKS HIM WITH A BIG BOOT TO THE FACE THAT FLOORS THE TELEVISION CHAMPION!”
JIVE: “Chaos has already ended one New ERA member’s career …. You can sure as hell bet he wants to end another one tonight!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos brings Jean Rabesque to his feet …. And he is clobbering him in the back with those gigantic forearms. Rabesque to one knee …. And Rabesque down to both knees now … Chaos now … PICKS RABESQUE UP BY THE THROAT!! CHAOS LIFTS RABESQUE OFF THE MAT …. AND JEAN IS TRYING TO TOUCH HIS FEET TO THE MAT!!”
JIVE: “Aw .. the ref is counting for Chaos to release the choke hold…”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos now TOSSES Rabesque to the mat … AND HE TURNS AND LOOKS AT THE REFEREE!”
JIVE: “Yea.. I don’t think the referee was in the right state of mind when he was counting.”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos now pointing at the referee and telling him to mind his own business! Chaos turns … AND JEAN RABESQUE WITH A LOW BLOW TO STOP HIS MOMENTUM! Jean Rabesque now against the ropes …….. ELBOW to the HEAD …. BUT CHAOS DOESN’T BUDGE ….. Rabesque again off the ropes …. AND ANOTHER ELBOW HAS CHAOS REELING …… Jean Rabesque gets a full head of steam ….. AND HE DROPKICKS CHAOS OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE ARENA FLOOR!”
JIVE: “But Chaos landed on his feet!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos lands on his feet and he points at Rabesque …. And makes a motion that he’s going to snap him like a twig!”
JIVE: “Oooo… that might spark the ratings up a little.”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos stepping onto the apron now … AND JEAN RABESQUE IS OVER THERE! Chaos grabs Rabesque by the throat AGAIN!!! NO! Jean rakes the eyes of Chaos …….. AND HE CHARGES INTO THE ROPES … RABESQUE JUST KNOCKED CHAOS OFF THE APRON AND INTO THE GUARDRAIL!! Chaos’ head just hit the metal guardrail!”
JIVE: “Big men don’t go down nice and easy like, say, El Arco Iris. We might have to buy some new guardrails if there’s a dent left in that one due to Chaos’ skull….”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque is going to the outside ….. JEAN RABESQUE PICKS UP A CHAIR ……. AND HE THROWS IT AT CHAOS AND IT HITS HIM IN THE FACE! Jean Rabesque now with Chaos ……. CHAOS WITH THE REVERSAL … NO RABESQUE REVERSES IT AGAIN AND SENDS CHAOS INTO THE STEEL RING POST!!! Chaos could have separated a shoulder!”
JIVE: “Chaos could wrestle with a severed limb and I don’t think it would matter much!”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque now rolls Chaos back into the ring … and he drops the elbow on top of Chaos … Rabesque brings Chaos to his feet …. He irish whips him into the c…. CHAOS REVERSES IT AND RABESQUE CRASHES INTO THE TURNBUCKLES ….. CHAOS IN AFTER HIM …. BUT RABESQUE MOVES AND CHAOS HITS THE CORNER!!! Rabesque with the roll up ….. ONE …….. TWO …….. KICKOUT!”
JIVE: “As long as Chaos is off his feet, Rabesque should be fine … the problem is keeping Chaos off his feet.”
GHEORGHE: “The Television champ now picking up Chaos, who winded himself when he hit the corner … Rabesque somehow manages to execute the inverted atomic drop!! Rabesque now back …. AND SUPERKICKS CHAOS WHO FALLS TO THE MAT!”
JIVE: “Although … Rabesquador is doing a mighty fine job of that right now ..”
GHEORGHE: “Keep the Rabesquador sayings to a minimum, we gotta pay some conniving money grubbers royalties everytime we say it.”
JIVE: “But you just said Rabesquador, too!”
GHEORGHE: “Ugh!”
JIVE: “RABESQUADOR!”
GHEORGHE: “That money could be coming out of your paycheck.”
JIVE: “Oo, that was low.”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque now with the cover …. ONE …. But Chaos kicks out.”
JIVE: “You gotta think that Rabesque’s mind is not on tonight’s match 100 percent …. Especially since LaRoque announced earlier that it is going to be CHAMPION versus CHAMPION at the pay per view when Rabesque and Tact finally meet one on one.”
GHEORGHE: “That is assuming Rabesque keeps the title.”
JIVE: “No shit.”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos getting back to his feet as Rabesque locks his hands around the waist …. He’s not going to try to german suplex him …”
JIVE: “HE IS!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos with an elbow to the side of the head stops it quickly as Rabesque tries to walk away ….. BUT CHAOS CATCHES HIM ….. CHAOS WITH RABESQUE …… SPINNING SIDEWALK SLAM! Chaos covers ….. ONE …… TWO ….. KICKOUT by the Television champion!”
JIVE: “Can you imagine what would happen if Chaos finds out that Suicide is no longer in New ERA? He could go even further off the deep end.”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos now picking up Jean Rabesque … and he sends him into the corner ….. Chaos now over … AND HE PLACES THE HEEL OF HIS BOOT RIGHT UNDERNEATH THE CHIN OF RABESQUE ….. CHAOS IS CHOKING THE TELEVISION CHAMPION!”
JIVE: “Yes!!”
GHEORGHE: “The referee is over there … and Chaos complies with the referee’s wishes as he releases the choke hold ….. AND INSTEAD HE DRIVES ANOTHER ELBOW INTO THE HEAD OF RABESQUE!”
JIVE: “Hey, the ref got what he wanted.”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque comes out of the corner … Chaos picks him up … DROP PILEDRIVER RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!! ONE …….. TWO …… THREE—NO KICKOUT BY THE CHAMP!”
(The fans all get to their feet and look towards the ramp.)
GHEORGHE: “THAT’s LARRY TACT!!!”
JIVE: “The World’s Heavyweight Champion is coming down for a closer look!”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact has the New ERA World Heavyweight Championship on his shoulder … and he is now walking around the ring as Chaos picks Jean Rabesque back up! Chaos HAS RABESQUE OVER HIS HEAD ……. HE’s GOING TO THROW HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!”
JIVE: “I wonder if he’ll throw him to Tact!”
GHEORGHE: “CHAOS IS OVER AT THE ROPES ….. BUT RABESQUE IS HOLDING ON TO THEM.. RABESQUE IS DESPERATELY TRYING TO AVOID BEING TOSSED OVER THE TOP!”
JIVE: “Aw c’mon, Jean .. Be a good sport!”
GHEORGHE: “RABESQUE WITH A POKE TO THE EYE AND CHAOS DROPS HIM TO HIS FEET!”
JIVE: “Damn.”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque now grabbing a hold of Chaos’ head ….. AND HE SLAMS IT INTO THE TURNBUCKLE …. And he slams it again! AND AGAIN!”
CROWD: “FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!”
(SFX: Crowd pops.)
JIVE: “And Chaos is all sorts of messed up.”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque grabs the head of Chaos …. RUNNING BULLDOG!! Chaos is face first lying on the mat! Jean Rabesque turns to go against the ropes ….. AND HE SEES TACT!”
JIVE: “Awwww shit.”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque immediately stops and starts yelling at The World Heavyweight Champion … and Tact is standing there with his arms crossed. And now the referee is getting involved!”
JIVE: “The referee needs to keep himself focused on this match, Tom!”
GHEORGHE: “The referee hops out of the ring … AND HE IS TAKING TACT BY THE ARM OVER TO THE RAMP WAY!! The referee is telling Tact to get out of the arena!”
JIVE: “Tact is arguing with the ref that he hasn’t done anything!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque turns back to Chaos now ….. Chaos slowly getting to his feet …… Rabesque locks the leg …. RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!!! Jean Rabesque is heading over to the corner …… The Television Champion is on the second turnbuckle …….. AND COMES OFF WITH AN ELBOW DROP TO THE FACE OF CHAOS!!! JEAN RABESQUE IS CALLING FOR THE FIGURE FOUR!!!!”
JIVE: “This is it!!! Champion versus Champion at the pay per view!! Jean Rabesque turns Chaos around so he can see Tact as he puts the figure four on!!!”
(All of a sudden someone runs through the crowd and over the guardrail.)
GHEORGHE: “THERE HE IS AGAIN!!!! THAT PERSON IN BLACK IS AT RINGSIDE!!!! WATCH OUT JEAN!!!!”
JIVE: “Jean Rabesque doesn’t even see this person in black behind him!!!”
GHEORGHE: “THE MAN IN BLACK SUPERKICKS JEAN RABESQUE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!! RABESQUE GOES DOWN LIKE A TON OF BRICKS! Now what is he doing ……… HE IS DRAGGING CHAOS ON TOP OF JEAN RABESQUE!!!”
JIVE: “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON TONIGHT!”
GHEORGHE: “That person in black dives out of the ring and he’s going back through the crowd!!!!!”
JIVE: “Wait!! Tact and the referee see Chaos and Rabesque in the ring!!”
GHEORGHE: “THE REFEREE YELLS AT TACT TO GET OUT OF HERE, BUT TACT IS SPEECHLESS!!! THE REFEREE IN THE RING ……… ONE ………………. TWO ……………………. THREE OH MY GOD WE HAVE A NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION!!!!!”
(SFX: Bell rings)
JACOBS: “The winner of this match …… and NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION……… CHAOS!”
(Larry Tact stands at the bottom of the rampway, looking all around the crowd …)
JIVE: “Tact is looking all around the Crisler Arena … he’s trying to figure out just what the hell went on just now!”
GHEORGHE: “We have a new Television Champion!!! Jean Rabesque was ROBBED tonight by the same man who ROBBED El Arco Iris last week!”
(SFX: Crowd pops as a figure runs down the rampway. This person is wearing all white la-Parka-ish attire, with a screwy “S” on his mask. He bumps into Tact as he runs by, causing Tact to come back into reality … He starts backing up the ramp.)
GHEORGHE: “WHO THE HELL IS THIS???”
JIVE: “I don’t know … but whoever he is .. he is in the ring now with both Rabesque AND Chaos!”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact slowly backing up the ramp .. AND THIS WRESTLER JUST TOSSED JEAN RABESQUE OVER THE TOP ROPE AND TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!!”
JIVE: “Someone doesn’t care for Rabesque much, eh?”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos is starting to get to his feet … he shakes his head … and looks up … Chaos looks shocked to see this person in front of him …… Chaos cocks his head as this person waves to him ….. AND THEN KICKS HIM IN THE GUT ……… HE PICKS HIM UP …. OH MY LORD THE NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION HAS BEEN PLANTED IN THE MAT BY A SPINNING INVERTED RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP!!! Now what is going on?!”
JIVE: “He’s bowing to the fans ….. AND NOW HE’s DOING THE MOONWALK!!!”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact is at the top of the rampway …… AND JEAN RABESQUE CATCHES A GLIMPSE OF HIM AS HE STARTS TO GET TO HIS FEET!!! RABESQUE DOES NOT LOOK HAPPY AS HE STARTS RUNNING UP THE RAMP!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE ARE OUT OF TIME!! There’s only one RAUCOUS to go before Destrucity …… JOIN US THEN!”
