(CUTTO: Outside President LaRoque’s lockerroom.)
LaROQUE: “Jesus. Chaos is roaming around .. and Hart is back in New ERA .. I just can’t get any breaks to relax..”
(President LaRoque reaches for the knob. He opens the door to his lockerroom and freezes.)
LaROQUE: “Who the hell are you?”
(The camera swings around to reveal a young man with shoulder-length blond hair wearing a dirty T-shirt and blue jeans seated in LaRoque’s chair with his feet up on the desk. He grins wide, then rises and extends his hand.)
STANGE YOUNG MAN: “Why hello there, Mr. President. The name’s Alister Hayze.”
(He extends his hand further across the desk. LaRoque, confused, shakes it.)
HAYZE: “You might be wondering what I’m doing here, sitting at your desk and all.”
(LaRoque is starting to look a little angry.)
LaROQUE: “Actually, yes, that’s exactly what I was wondering.” (Hayze sits back down, obviously ignoring the flabbergasted look on LaRoque’s face.)
HAYZE: “Well, see, you might not remember me, but I was a pretty big name in the pro wrestling business a few years back. FSCW, WWWA… even a little stint in FWF. Really, I was all over the place. I was IT. After that short stint that I mentioned, I pretty much decided to call it quits, travel Europe and all that, really find myself, you know.”
(LaRoque seems unimpressed. In fact, he seems to be getting angrier by the minute.)
LaROQUE: “Uh-huh.”
HAYZE: “But I got back home just a little while ago, about a month or two, and I said to myself, “Well, Al, what are you going to do now?” I nothing made any more sense than returning to the ring. So I said, “Well, you know, Al, all the old gang is gone. No more Dak McCloud. No more Bothrops or Gus or Stone Wolf.” And I said to myself, “Well that’s fine. That means that the old career is gone. That means that it’s time to start a new career.”..”
(He leans forward meaningfully at LaRoque.)
HAYZE: “A new… ERA.”
(Hayze sits back, pauses, and lets that sink in.)
HAYZE: “So then I drove my van up here to Illinois to talk to someone about a contract. No one else seemed able to help me out, so I thought I’d just head over to see the president. But you weren’t here, so for the past, oh… thirty minutes or so, I’ve been sitting around here, wondering just who you have to screw to get a contract around here?”
(Just then, Marceau bursts into the office. LaRoque looks annoyed, but Hayze jumps to his feet, a look of amazement on his face.)
HAYZE: “Sweet Jesus, tell me it’s her.”
MARCEAU: “Great news.”
LaROQUE: “What’s that?”
MARCEAU: “Prodigy has agreed to play at Destrucity.”
LaROQUE: “Really?”
MARCEAU: “Yea, they are willing to do at least two songs. I might be able to squeeze three out of them.”
LaROQUE: “Awesome, good work.”
(Marceau suddenly pauses, raises one eyebrow, and looks at Hayze, who has been standing there dumbstruck the entire time.)
MARCEAU: “Who’s this?”
(Hayze hurriedly climbs over to the other side of the desk and offers his hand to her.)
HAYZE: “The name’s Alister Hayze, ma’am. My friends call me Al, but you can call me yours.”
(Marceau rolls her eyes, ignores Hayze’s hand, then turns back to LaRoque.)
MARCEAU: “I just thought I’d come and tell you the good news. See, not everything I do is to spite you. I’m just going to go call them back and settle the legal issues.”
(Marceau walks out of the office. LaRoque turns to Hayze, who is still staring at the door.)
LaROQUE: “ Hayze, hm? So. A contract?”
(This snaps Hayze out of it. He turns to him.)
HAYZE: “Yeah. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.”
(LaRoque shakes his head uncertainly.)
LaROQUE: “Alright then .. let me see what I can do.”
(CUTTO: Ringside.)
JIVE: “IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER!”
GHEORGHE: “Woah! Not only is SHAWN HART back in action here in New ERA, but PRODIGY is going to put on a performance at DESTRUCITY …. AND Alister Hayze is in New ERA!”
JIVE: “I hope they play ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ … maybe they’ll play it while Travis Smith is beating John Doe with the leather strap!”
GHEORGHE: “Destrucity is only a little ways away now … it is looking to be ONE HELL OF A SHOW!”
JIVE: “Speaking of shows … this falls count anywhere match should be a great match.”
GHEORGHE: “You’re telling me! Trevor Cane is coming off a win over Danny Danger from last edition of RAUCOUS and Troy Douglas has acknowledged his recent slide, but vowed to begin to change it here tonight!”
(CUTTO: Carl Jacobs in the ring … the lineup for the match zooms across the screen, screeching to a halt in the middle.)
JACOBS: “The following match is for one fall and has a 60 minute time limit… and it is a FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH!!! Introducing first …”
(CUEUP: ‘Unkind’ by Destrophy as the lights fade down. A bright line shines from behind the curtain as ‘the Messenger’ walks through.)
JACOBS: “Making his way to the ring .. he hails from Sarasota, Florida.. weighing in a 263 pounds and standing six foot five … he is the Messenger ….. TREVOR CANE!”
(SFX: Crowd boos as Cane enters the ring. CUEUP: ‘Kashmir’ by Led Zepplin as the fans start to cheer.)
JACOBS: “And his opponent …. From GREENSBORO, NORTH CAROLINA….”
(Douglas appears at the top of the ramp and begins to come to the ring.)
JACOBS: “He stands six foot five and weighs 265 pounds ……… TROY DOUGLAS!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JIVE: “I never knew how closely these guys were in body type, Tom.”
GHEORGHE: “Douglas only weighs 2 pounds more than Cane, so these guys are matched up perfectly in that aspect, with no man having the direct advantage.”
JIVE: “I’m sure they’ll find other ways to get the advantage.”
GHEORGHE: “Douglas stepping through … no, I guess he won’t be stepping through the ropes as Trevor Cane immediately knocks him to the arena floor!”
JIVE: “Cane doesn’t want to waste any time dragging Douglas around the arena!”
GHEORGHE: “Trevor Cane hops off the apron as Douglas turns around to greet him with a stiff shot right in the jaw! Cane stumbles backwards …. AND HE TRIPS ON THE CAMERA WIRE! Trevor Cane now trying to crawl backwards as Troy Douglas is walking towards him … Douglas goes to pick him up … AND CANE RAKES THE EYES OF TROY DOUGLAS! Trevor Cane now grabs Douglas’ head …. AND HE BASHES IT INTO THE TOP OF THE GUARDRAIL!”
JIVE: “Those are steel guardrails, Tom!”
GHEORGHE: “The Messenger now with Troy Douglas … AND HE WHIPS HIM INTO THE RING APRON! Trevor Cane with Troy Douglas again …. AND HE WHIPS HIM BACK INTO THE GUARDRAIL!”
JIVE: “I don’t think Cane took Douglas’ words too kindly leading up to this match!”
GHEORGHE: “AND NOW TREVOR CANE HAS DOUGLAS BY THE HAIR AND HE’s DRAGGING HIM UP THE RAMP!”
JIVE: “He must have something planned already!”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen, this has gone to the back! We will have cameras following their every move! Trevor Cane now inside that mini tunnel …. AND HE THROWS DOUGLAS UP AGAINST THE SIDE OF THAT TUNNEL.”
JIVE: “Douglas isn’t going to be in any shape to compete w/ Jonathan Marx at the pay per view if he keeps taking shots like that.”
GHEORGHE: “They are in the back area now! Trevor Cane with an irish whip … NO DOUGLAS REVERSES IT AND CANE GOES CRASHING INTO THE TABLES OF FOOD BACK THERE!”
JIVE: “NOT THE CHICKEN!”
GHEORGHE: “Cane trying to get to his feet … AND HE SLIPS ON A PIECE OF LETTUCE FROM THE SALAD AND FALLS ON HIS BACK!”
JIVE: “He could have hit his head on the cement floor back there!”
GHEORGHE: “Troy Douglas now over … and he is pounding away on the face of the Messenger. Cane is trying to get his hands up to block his face ….. CANE GRABS A PIECE OF CHICKEN FROM THE GROUND AND SHOVES IT IN DOUGLAS’ MOUTH! Douglas gets up and spits the chicken out as Trevor Cane tries to crawl away!”
JIVE: “That was way past the 5 second rule, Douglas could have a disease! I wouldn’t want to touch him either.”
GHEORGHE: “Cane on his feet now as he goes through those double doors …. Here comes Douglas right after him …. AND CANE SLAMS THE DOOR RIGHT INTO DOUGLAS’ FACE AS HE WAS COMING THROUGH!! Troy Douglas is down on the ground! Trevor Cane picks up a chair from the corner ….. AND HE SLAMS IT ON THE HEAD OF DO…. DOUGLAS ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY!”
JIVE: “Chair to head, head to cement is not a pretty picture. Douglas is damn lucky.”
GHEORGHE: “Douglas to his feet now … AND HE KICKS CANE IN THE STOMACH ….. DOUGLAS WITH A DDT RIGHT ONTO THE CHAIR!!! He covers Cane …… ONE …………. TWO ………………. THR—CANE KICKS OUT!”
JIVE: “I don’t know how in Hell he managed to get out of that!”
GHEORGHE: “Troy Douglas now with Trevor Cane by the head …. AND HE THROWS HIM FACE FIRST INTO A COKE MACHINE!”
JIVE: “Look at that!”
GHEORGHE: “Douglas threw him into the Coke machine so hard that its popping out 20 oz bottle after 20 oz bottle of Diet Coke!”
JIVE: “Does anyone have any vodka?!”
GHEORGHE: “Troy Douglas now sees a cleaning person wheeling their cart … AND DOUGLAS STOPS THEM DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS! TROY DOUGLAS TAKES OUT A BROOM ……. AND HE CRACKS TREVOR CANE OVER THE BACK WITH THE BROOM!! The broom has been snapped!”
JIVE: “I hope that cleaner person has a vacuum to get all those pieces off the ground!”
GHEORGHE: “Cane is down to one knee grimacing in pain as Douglas rummages around the cart ….. he finds something …. OH MY TROY DOUGLAS HAS SOME GLASS CLEANER …… TROY DOUGLAS HAS JUST SPRAYED THAT GLASS CLEANER INTO THE EYES OF TREVOR CANE AND CANE IS ROLLING AROUND ON THE GROUND HOLDING HIS FACE!!!”
JIVE: “Douglas pins him again!! What a cheapskate!!! ONE ….. TWO …… AND SOMEHOW CANE KICKS OUT!”
GHEORGHE: “Douglas does not seem happy as Cane is yelling about the burning …….. AND NOW DOUGLAS TAKES CANE OVER TO THE WATER FOUNTAIN …… DOUGLAS BASHES CANE’s HEAD INTO THE WATER FOUNTAIN …. AND HE TURNS IT ON!”
JIVE: “Well.. he’s kind of helping him, I guess.”
GHEORGHE: “Douglas making sure that the water gets into Cane’s eyes BY RUBBING HIS FACE INTO THE BOTTOM OF THE WATER FOUNTAIN! Troy Douglas releases Cane as he falls to the ground … AND HE’s GOING BACK TO THE CART ONE MORE TIME!”
JIVE: “What else could he possibly use?! A trash bag to suffocate him?!”
GHEORGHE: “Douglas reaching way down .. and he pulls up ….. OH MY GOD, DOUGLAS HAS MOUSE TRAPS!!! Troy Douglas has two mouse traps …. And he is setting them up to be active!”
JIVE: “Those things pierce skin, Tom!”
GHEORGHE: “Cane is trying to dry his face …. And here comes Douglas w/ the mouse traps ….. Douglas sets one up near Cane’s hand ….. Cane puts his hand down …. AND YELLS OUT IN PAIN AS IT HITS THE MOUSE TRAP!”
JIVE: “Look at him! His finger is bleeding!”
GHEORGHE: “Cane rips the mouse trap off his hand and his finger is indeed cut! Douglas goes to put the second one down …. BUT TREVOR CANE YANKS HIS HAIR AND DOUGLAS FALLS FLAT ON HIS FACE …”
JIVE: “DOUGLAS FELL ON THE MOUSE TRAP HE WAS SETTING UP!”
GHEORGHE: “Douglas stands on his feet, and that mouse trap is attached to his chest!!!!!! DOUGLAS RIPS IT OFF AND NOW THERE’s a WELT ON HIS CHEST! Troy Douglas kicks The Messenger in the head as he was trying to get to his feet! Douglas has Cane by the head again … and they turn the corner ….”
JIVE: “WHAT THE HELL…”
GHEORGHE: “CHAOS JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND CLOTHESLINED BOTH TREVOR CANE AND TROY DOUGLAS!”
CHAOS: “Oh shit. Aw well .. if he sees them, he’ll know what’s coming his way.”
(Chaos walks in the direction of where Douglas and Cane were just fighting. He stops at the Coke machine and takes a Diet Coke … and shoves a few more in his pockets.)
JIVE: “CHAOS THOUGHT THAT DOUGLAS and CANE was the person he is looking for! AND HE EVEN TOOK A COKE, too! God dammit, someone get me one of those!”
GHEORGHE: “Chaos still looking for that mysterious man in all white …. And he just leveled the playing field a little in this match in the process! Douglas and Cane both on their backs … and Trevor Cane is getting up first! Look at his eyes, Nick.”
JIVE: “They are beet red, and I’m sure they sting like a son of a gun.”
GHEORGHE: “Cane is up as Douglas is starting to stir … Trevor Cane KICKS Douglas in the stomach .. and now he picks him up and is bringing him through another set of doors … LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THEY ARE IN THE LOBBY OF THE ALLSTATE ARENA!!!”
JIVE: “I don’t even want to know what kind of damage New ERA is going to have to pay for after this.”
GHEORGHE: “Cane with an irish whip into the queues …. AND DOUGLAS TRIPS OVER THE HANGING ROPES FOR THE LINES AND HE GOES FACE FIRST INTO THE FLOOR! Trevor Cane walks behind him … AND HE IS WRAPPING THOSE ROPES AROUND THE NECK OF TROY DOUGLAS!! There is nothing the referee can do since this is no disqualification!”
JIVE: “Could Cane be arrested for killing Douglas?”
GHEORGHE: “All wrestlers sign a release form, so I don’t think he could.”
JIVE: “So I could kill Doe if I wanted to.”
GHEORGHE: “No, you’d be arrested because you’re not a wrestler.”
JIVE: “Damn.”
GHEORGHE: “The Messenger now releases the choke on Douglas and he is scouring the lobby… he walks over to the PARKING THIS WAY SIGN!!! Cane picks up the sign and folds it ….. AND NOW HE’s OVER TO DOUGLAS …. TREVOR CANE DRILLS TROY DOUGLAS IN THE MIDSECTION WITH THAT SIGN! And now he’s lying it on the floor!”
JIVE: “He isn’t going to ..”
GHEORGHE: “TREVOR CANE IS GOING TO TRY TO PILEDRIVE TROY DOUGLAS ONTO THAT SIGN ……. BUT DOUGLAS BLOCKS IT!! DOUGLAS WITH A BACK BODY DROP …. AND TREVOR CANE SLAMS ONTO THE INFORMATION TABLE…”
JIVE: “I think LaRoque should start price checking those…”
GHEORGHE: “Troy Douglas looks behind him and sees Cane laid out on the table … AND NOW DOUGLAS IS CLIMBING ONTO THE TABLE!!! DOUGLAS PICKS UP CANE ….. PILEDRIVER!! DOUGLAS PILEDROVE CANE AND THE TABLE SNAPS IN HALF!!”
CROWD: “N . E . W ! N . E . W !”
JIVE: “The crowd is LOVING this!”
GHEORGHE: “Douglas with the cover ….. ONE ……… TWO ………. THR—SOMEHOW SOMEWAY TREVOR CANE KICKS OUT!”
JIVE: “The Light is shining his way.”
GHEORGHE: “Don’t start that ..”
JIVE: “Cane won’t give up until he saves Douglas.. he said so himself.”
GHEORGHE: “Douglas now picking Cane from the shattered table …”
JIVE: “Look at the ticket tellers .. they are all bunched up at their windows trying to watch this!”
GHEORGHE: “Douglas now taking Cane over near the parking garage elevators ….. AND HE IRISH WHIPS HIM INTO THE ELEVATOR DOORS!”
JIVE: “CANE IS BUSTED OPEN!”
GHEORGHE: “Cane’s forehead is starting to show blood …. As DOUGLAS IRISH WHIPS HIM INTO THE OTHER SIDE ELEVATOR DOORS!”
JIVE: “Wait!! Those doors just opened and Cane went flying into the side of the elevator!!!”
(As Douglas walks to the elevator, the doors start to close, and a figure steps with his back to the camera to block Douglas from getting in before it closes.)
GHEORGHE: “DOUGLAS CAN’T GET TO CANE!”
JIVE: “MORE IMPORTANTLY WHO WAS THAT?!!”
GHEORGHE: “I don’t know, but whoever it was just spared Cane some breathing time!”
(The doors open after going up a floor and back down. Cane is lying on the ground, a symbol painted on his back.)
GHEORGHE: “OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MESSENGER?”
JIVE: “That symbol …. THAT’S THE ULTIMATE SURPRISE’s CALLING CARD!!! THAT MAN WAS THE ULTIMATE SURPRISE!!! HE JUST ATTACKED CANE IN THE ELEVATOR!”
GHEORGHE: “Troy Douglas and the referee are looking at Cane and the symbol and the blood ….. AND FINALLY DOUGLAS GOES IN THE ELEVATOR AND PINS CANE!! The referee hops in, too! ONE …………..”
JIVE: “THE DOORS ARE CLOSING!”
GHEORGHE: “TWO………………. THE ELEVATOR DOORS HAVE CLOSED! We have lost sight of them ….”
(The elevator goes down a floor … it then stops, and comes back up.)
JIVE: “ITS BACK!”
GHEORGHE: “The doors open ….. AND THE REFEREE WALKS OUT HOLDING UP TROY DOUGLAS’ HAND!! THE REFEREE IS SIGNALLING THAT DOUGLAS GOT THE THREE COUNT WHILE THE DOORS WERE SHUT!”
(SFX: Bell rings as the fans explode.)
JACOBS: “The winner of this match by pinfall………. TROY DOUGLAS!”
(Douglas stumbles around before looking back at the elevator … he then turns and heads off. CUTTO: Ringside.)
JIVE: “The ULTIMATE Surprise just cost Trevor Cane the match!”
GHEORGHE: “The ULTIMATE Surprise getting one last word before the pay per view …… ladies and gentlemen, we got to take a commercial break, congratulations to Troy Douglas for pulling out a tough victory here tonight! When we come back its tonight’s main event ….. Alex Borden will take on the World’s Heavyweight Champion Larry Tact in a non-title bout!”
JIVE: “More like Douglas took credit for someone else’s work tonight..”
