(FADEIN: Juliet Marceau leaving her office. Her face looks pale as she walks down the hallway.)
MARCEAU: “Jesus Christ, this is so not what we need right now.”
(She stops in front of New ERA President Marcus LaRoque’s door and knocks on it.)
LaROQUE (V/O): “Yes?”
MARCEAU: “It’s me … we have to talk about Alex Borden .”
(There is a pause.)
LaROQUE (V/O): “This is going to have to wait … come back in an hour.”
(Marceau, looking very pissed off at this point, slams her fists on the door, causing the door to pop open. Her jaw drops as the camera cuts to Marcus LaRoque sitting in his leather chair at his desk, naked .. Marceau’s intern sitting on his lap.)
MARCEAU: “What the fuck is going on here?!”
LaROQUE: “God dammit! I TOLD YOU TO GIVE ME AN HOUR!”
(Marceau picks up LaRoque’s shirt and tosses it to the intern.)
MARCEAU: “Put this on and get the fuck out of here.”
(The intern, realizing that her job w/ Marceau is most likely over, hurridly gets up and puts the shirt on. She looks at LaRoque, who gives her a wink and slaps her on the ass. She then proceeds to leave.)
MARCEAU: “We’ve got to talk about Borden …”
LaROQUE: “Jesus Christ, Juliet. What the hell could be so important that you had to barge in here.”
(CUTTO: Jive and Gheorghe sitting at the announce table. Jive takes a pretty good swig of the Poland Spring Water Bottle and smiles.)
JIVE: “Looks like Juliet Marceau’s intern was taking orders from TWO people here at New ERA!”
GHEORGHE: “OH STOP IT! More important, I think, is what made Juliet Marceau so adamant about seeing Marcus LaRoque regarding the Television Champion Alex Borden !”
JIVE: “But what about that intern … nice supple breasts … an ass that could…”
GHEORGHE: “NICK!”
JIVE: “Alright, alright.”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen, Vice President Marceau seemed pretty worried there … I can’t even begin to imagine what it was about! I hope nothing has happened to Alex Borden !”
JIVE: “Knock, knock?”
GHEORGHE: “Not right now, we are getting set for our next match, Nick.”
JIVE: “COME ON! Knock, knock!”
GHEORGHE: “Fine… whose there?”
JIVE: “Little Boy Blue.”
GHEORGHE: “Little Boy Blue who?”
JIVE: “Michael Jackson!”
GHEORGHE: “Cute…. Bu…..”
(All of a sudden Tom Gheorghe is cut off by the PA system. CUEUP: “When Worlds Collide” by Powerman 5000. John Doe steps out on the entrance ramp. Doe has a big smirk on his face as he approaches the desk.)
JIVE: “Oh no…..”
GHEORGHE: “Looks like we are having company, Nick. I love this kid. We were out last night at the bar having a couple drinks and then we went to the casino. He’s a funny character.”
JIVE: “Yeah, well I dislike him, I saw him walking down the corridor this afternoon and I said hi and he gave me the finger.”
GHEORGHE: “He just doesn’t like you, Nick.”
JIVE: “Why not! I cheered him on when he went for the Television Championship!”
GHEORGHE:“Maybe because his first match with Trevor Cane you bad mouthed him….?”
(Doe puts on the headset and looks at Jive.)
DOE: “That’s a nice seat you got there Nick.”
JIVE: “I know, haven’t you sat in it before?”
DOE: “Yes, I remember I punched you out of it.”
JIVE: “Dear God you mean you actually remembered something?”
DOE: “Yes, I know I am God, now God says get out of the seat your in or he will smite thee.”
JIVE: “NO!”
(Doe shoves Jive into the guest seat and plops down in his comfy seat. Doe smirks.)
DOE: “It’s so comfy and warm. Thank you, Nick.”
JIVE: “Go screw yourself.”
GHEORGHE: “Well, howdy John! Ladies and gentlemen it is time for our next match up, Jane Doe is going to take on Caitlyn Daymon one on one!”
JIVE: “Isn’t that your sister, John? I mean you do look like a girl…”
DOE: “You looking at me, Nick? You like what you’re looking at don’t you? You are probably checking me out. But I don’t know if she is my sister though she has my last name.”
GHEORGHE: “We are going to take it down to Jacobs in the ring!”
JACOBS: “The following match up is scheduled for one fall, introducing first…”
(CUEUP: “March of the Fire Ants” By Mastodon. Caitlyn Daymon stands out on the entrance ramp and starts heading down to the ring.)
JACOBS: “Hailing from Tacoma , Washington ……. CAITLYN DAYMON!!”
GHEORGHE: "Daymon is a hell of a talent."
JACOBS: “And her opponent…..”
(CUEUP: “Living Dead Girl” By Rob Zombie. The arena lights shut off as Jane Doe appears on the big screens.)
JIVE: “What is this! What is going on?! What are you two trying to pull?”
DOE: “I have no clue….”
(The strobe lights flicker as Jane Doe is on the turnbuckle. Daymon looks at the ramp irritated as she turns around.)
JIVE: “She’s on the turnbuckle!”
GHEORGHE: “Jane Doe leaping off the turnbuckle and hits a top rope hurricanrana!”
(SFX: Bell rings as the lights turn back on.)
DOE: “There she goes rolling up … looking to end this one early!”
GHEORGHE: “Jane with an early cover… ONE …….. TWO ……. kick out!”
JIVE: “That was almost the fastest match I have ever seen!”
GHEORGHE: “And Jane Doe looking at Daymon. Daymon is looking back at Doe … she’s still a bit dazed from that high risk move. Jane Doe grabbing Daymon by the hair and slamming her face first with that face plant!”
DOE: “Daymon holding her head and Jane Doe is grabbing it slamming it into the canvass repeatedly. So much anger in her..”
JIVE: “Duh, she’s psychotic… you know a bit about that, don’t you..”
DOE: “Jane with the cover…ONE.…. KICKOUT by Caitlyn Daymon !”
GHEORGHE: “Jane Doe showing some aggression as she taunts Daymon. Caitlyn is on her feet as Jane slugs her with a right. Daymon looking at Jane Doe …… and socks her with a clothesline. And Jane DOE HITS THE CANVASS SO HARD THAT THE CROWD IS IN AWE!”
JIVE: “Maybe that’ll knock some sense into her!”
GHEORGHE: “Jane Doe is up against Daymon …. looking for another clothesline but Jane ducks …. AND A SIDE EFFECT FROM JANE DOE! Daymon to her feet ….. AND SHE IS PUT RIGHT BACK DOWN BY A MISSILE DROPKICK! And the crowd giving Jane Doe a mixed reaction.”
DOE: “Heh! Look at Jane as she gives the crowd that little birdie. Like I said she is a winner for sure!”
JIVE: “Just like you right? Such a “winner”?”
DOE: “ I am!”
JIVE: “That’s why The Informer said you are a hit and miss wrestler?”
GHEORGHE: “Caitlyn sneaking behind Jane as Doe is arguing with a member of the crowd….”
DOE: “He is just a reporter…. such an insignificant imbecile…..”
GHEORGHE: “ROLL UP PIN BY DAYMON! ONE ……….. TWO ………. KICKOUT!!! Doe hops up to her feet and goes to slap Daymon, but Daymon ducks, FLASHBACK FROM DAYMON!!!”
DOE: “And the cover…. ONE ………….. TWO ………… ROPE BREAK!”
JIVE: “Close, but no cigar..”
GHEORGHE: “That was very close, Nick.”
JIVE: “Looks like your sister almost got pinned. Too weak to kick out after a Flashback… pathetic. Jane Doe is back up... …UGH…”
DOE: “Don’t talk about my sister.”
GHEORGHE: “Dear God!! John Doe just slugged Nick Jive in the gut!! Jane Doe is to her feet … and she quickly kicks Daymon in the gut …. AND A TORNADO DDT BY JANE DOE!”
DOE: “Jane has the best ring presence, or so I believe…. Jane climbing the top rope…. And now Daymon back on her feet after being down for a moment… she’s in pursuit .. Jane Doe realizing someone is behind her turns around …. Daymon slugs Doe …… SUPERPLEX BY DAYMON! NO! JANE DOE TWISTING IN MID AIR TURNING THAT SUPERPLEX TO A FLASHBACK!”
GHEORGHE: “WHAT A REVERSAL BY JANE DOE!”
JIVE: (gasping for air still) “And… Jane... (cough) Doe signaling for the Amnesia Attack Version Two Point Zero….”
DOE: “Jane lifting Caitlyn Daymon to her feet …….. there’s the Irish whip … Caitlyn Daymon on the rebound …… JANE GOING FOR THE AMNESIA ATTACK TWO POINT ZERO!”
GHEORGHE: “CAITLYN DAYMON ROLLS OUT THE WAY AS JANE DOE SLAMS THE AMNESIA ATTACK TWO POINT ZERO ON THE REFEREE!”
JIVE: “And the ref goes down!”
GHEORGHE: “Jane Doe smirking as she slides out the ring … Caitlyn Daymon follows her out the ring as well. Jane Doe turning around as Daymon meets her with some punches to the face …. Jane Doe leaning against the guardrail … Caitlyn Daymon backing up and goes for a clothesline …. BUT JANE DOE DUCKS!”
DOE: “FLAPJACK BY JANE DOE! Caitlyn Daymon going face first into the guardrail! AND NOW JANE IS GOING FOR A CHAIR!”
GHEORGHE: “Wait a minute…”
JIVE: “I can’t believe it!! Daymon is up in a heart beat! DAYMON BULLDOGS JANE DOE INTO THE STEEL RING STEPS!”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon shielded herself from hitting the guardrail!!! Doe thought she knocked Daymon out! Caitlyn Daymon now with a kick to the gut ….. Doe doubled over... Daymon with the fireman’s carry..”
DOE: “This doesn’t bode well.”
GHEORGHE: “THE DAYMONPLEX TO JANE DOE AS SHE HITS THOSE STEEL RING STEPS!!!”
JIVE: “The referee is back on his feet and he is telling them to get in the ring!”
DOE: “What shitty luck!”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon rolls Jane Doe into the ring … and she makes the cover ……… ONE ………………. TWO …………….. THREE!!! CAITLYN DAYMON PULLS OUT THE VICTORY!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JACOBS: “Here is your winner CAITLYN DAYMON!”
GHEORGHE: “What the hell? Jane Doe is shaking in the ring! Doe is up to her feet as she slides out the ring!”
JIVE: “Someone stop that bitch, she has a chair!”
DOE: “Oh sweet John Almighty! She has just slid in the ring, HERE IT COMES!”
GHEORGHE: “JANE DOE JUST WALLOPED CAITLYN DAYMON IN THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR!!! SHE HITS HER AGAIN! REFEREE PAUL LAUREN TRYING TO STOP HER ……… BUT SHE NAILS HIM, TOO!!”
JIVE: “Now she’s dragging Daymon to the turnbuckle!”
DOE: “My sister is a nut. It’s so wonderful.”
JIVE: “Like brother like sister.”
DOE: “You don’t know how nutty I can get, Nick. Don’t make me show you.”
GHEORGHE: “ Jane Doe slamming the edge of that chair at Caitlyn Daymon ’s throat. AND HERE COME THE OFFICIALS! THEY ARE PINNING JANE DOE TO THE GROUND AND FORCING HER OUT OF THE RING! They’re walking her up the rampway quite forcefully…”
DOE: “Well time for me to go as well.”
GHEORGHE: “ Thanks for stopping by John. We’ll see you in action later tonight!”
DOE: “Anytime. And don’t miss my match … it’s going to be GREAT!”
(John Doe gets up and walks backstage behind Jane Doe, raising his hands to the fans.)
JIVE: “I hate that man.”
GHEORGHE: “And Caitlyn Daymon is being escorted up the ramp as well.”
JIVE: “What a way to start out a night, huh? First we have the Phantom Republican fighting the evil of the lazy Democrats .. then we get two psychos within 50 feet of each other. Only in America.”
GHEORGHE: “Well yes, and just like in America we need to take a commercial break. We will be right back with more of New ERA RAUCOUS!”
