(CUTTO: To the arena crowd as they are all eagerly anticipating the main event of the night. The camera cuts to some signs in the crowd which say various things such as; “MWG = GOD” “Hayze bangs Juliet” and “God Save Us All!” CUTTO: The announcer booth as Nick Jive and Tom Gheorghe are still sitting, trying to comprehend the events which just took place.)
GHEORGHE: “And now Jonathan Marx and John Doe are trying to set up a meeting with Vice President Juliet Marceau!”
JIVE: “But .. I … uh … Doe … Marx …”
GHEORGHE: “I know, Nick, it’s hard for you to conceive since the next few months will seriously test your ability to fully appreciate DREDD, yet also loathe John Doe. Perhaps Doe could make a TACTful turnaround in your eyes as others have done before.”
JIVE: “But … oh. … I …”
GHEORGHE: “Let’s try and move on then so that I am not the only person carrying this edition of RAUCOUS as we move into the main event!”
(As soon as he says this, Nick Jive perks right up, seemingly uninfluenced by his previous incoherency.)
JIVE: “What do you mean you’d carry the main event by yourself?! You are lucky you can carry your own damn weight, Tom. If New ERA were to let you have your own show, the ratings would plummet 100%!”
GHEORGHE: “Good to see you back, Nick. The main event for tonight is a LEATHER STRAP match to determine the #1 Contender to the Television Championship. Em Dubbya Gee will take on Alister Hayze in what should be an incredible test of each man’s ability and will. The only way to win this match is to tag each of the corners of the ring in succession, and then knock your opponent to the mat.. There are no pinfalls. There are no submissions. There are no disqualifications. And there are no countouts! Someone will be named the #1 Contender tonight …. So lets head to Carl Jacobs who is standing in the ring.”
(The camera cuts to Carl Jacobs who is standing in the ring.)
JACOBS: “The following match is scheduled for one fall and is a LEATHER STRAP MATCH to determine the #1 Contender to the Television Championship! Introducing first…”
(CUEUP: ‘Faggot’ by Mindless Self Indulgence. MWG comes through the curtain to the fans delight .. mostly to jeer him .. and he makes his way down to the ring.)
JACOBS: “Hailing from where the sun shines and the birds sing …… he stands six foot three and weighs 232 pounds …………… EM DUBBYA GEE!”
(MWG enters the ring and walks around, licking his lips at members in the crowd.)
JIVE: “ MWG is quite a character. This leather strap match is right up his alley.”
JACOBS: “And his opponent…”
(CUEUP: ‘One Vision’ by Queen. The crowd pops huge as Alister Hayze walks through the curtain w/ a smile on his face. He walks down the rampway.)
JACOBS: “Standing five foot ten and weighing 220 pounds … he hails from Memphis, Tennessee ………… ALISTER HAYZE!”
(Hayze rolls under the bottom ropes and stands there as the referee secures the leather strap around his and MWG’s wrists.)
GHEORGHE: “These two are going to be strapped together .. nowhere to go. The only way to win .. is to touch your opponent on all four corners in succession, and then knock them to the mat…”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORGHE: “This match is underway and both men are tugging on the leather strap trying to bring each other nearer.”
JIVE: “Yea, but Hayze is trying to inflict pain, while MWG is trying to inflict pleasure … for himself at least.”
GHEORGHE: “Hayze lets go of his end as MWG pulls … and MWG falls flat on his ass! MWG looks up bewildered at Hayze .. BUT THEN HE SMILES!”
JIVE: “I think MWG thinks that Hayze is playing hard to get…”
GHEORGHE: “Hayze over to MWG …. BUT MWG YANKS ON THE STRAP AND HAYZE GOES SAILING OVER AND HITS THE CORNER! MWG on his feet and he gets behind Hayze…”
JIVE: “Now this is a dangerous position…”
GHEORGHE: “ MWG now bringing the strap around the head of Hayze …. AND MWG IS PULLING BACK TRYING TO CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF ALISTER HAYZE!”
JIVE: “A little s&m never hurt anyone!”
GHEORGHE: “ MWG pulling back now …. AND MWG WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX! MWG was thinking about going for the pin, but I’m guessing he remembered there are no pinfalls in this match!”
JIVE: “I think he just wanted to hold on to Hayze’s waist a little longer. MWG is a very sensual wrestler…”
GHEORGHE: “ MWG dragging Hayze to his feet … AND HE SLAPS HIM IN THE CHEST WITH THE LEATHER STRAP! Did you hear the sound of that?! MWG with another slap to the chest … and Alister Hayze’s chest is now starting to turn red! MWG with anot…. NO! HAYZE WITH A KICK TO THE GUT! HAYZE PICKS UP MWG …….. AND PILEDRIVES HIM TO THE MAT!”
JIVE: “ Alister Hayze is a little upset because MWG was making him his bitch for the night! Forget about those 16 year old boys in the front row …. MWG is focused solely on Alister Hayze!”
GHEORGHE: “ Alister Hayze on his feet …. AND HE IS VICIOUSLY WHIPPING MWG ON THE BACK …… AND MWG’s back is getting beat red!”
JIVE: “The difference between these two is that MWG is used to this type of pain … Alister Hayze has never felt this before … well … not that I know of!”
GHEORGHE: “ MWG trying to crawl away, but Hayze is relentlessly beating on his back …. And finally Hayze hops onto MWG’s back and is strangling MWG w/ the leather strap!”
JIVE: “ MWG told me earlier that nothing beats ejaculating while being asphyxiated! I’m sure this is just turning him on.. I mean .. I’m sure this is just motivating him more to make a come back.”
GHEORGHE: “Hayze really wrenching on the straps trying to get them underneath the chin of MWG … AND MWG NOW STANDING AS HAYZE IS ON HIS BACK! MWG FALLS BACKWARDS AND HAYZE HITS HIS HEAD ON THE MAT!!”
JIVE: “Great ring presence by MWG.”
GHEORGHE: “All he did was fall backwards.”
JIVE: “Yes .. but he could have fallen over the top rope and hurt both of them…”
GHEORGHE: “Both men slowly getting to their feet … Alister Hayze yanks MWG over to him … MWG DUCKS THE SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE … Hayze turns …. SUPERKICK RIGHT INTO THE JAW OF HAYZE AND HE HITS THE APRON! MWG now dragging Alister Hayze to the corner … MWG picks him up … and he knocks Hayze’s head into the first turnbuckle! MWG drags his face across the ring ropes…”
JIVE: “ MWG is used to getting rug burn .. so he figures might as well give Hayze a little taste of it..”
GHEORGHE: “ MWG now knocks Hayze’s head into the SECOND turnbuckle and he’s going for the third…”
JIVE: “One more after this next one and all he’s gotta do is get Hayze off his feet!”
GHEORGHE: “ MWG dragging Hayze’s forehead against the ropes again …. BUT HAYZE GRABS ONTO THE ROPES ….. MWG trying to tug Alister Hayze off the ropes ……”
(SFX: Crowd groans.)
GHEORGHE: “AND ALISTER HAYZE WITH A MULE KICK RIGHT TO THE NUTS OF MWG!”
JIVE: “That’s if he even has any! I am still not sure whether or not MWG had the sex change … or if it were a faux…”
GHEORGHE: “It’s a faux you idiot… he’s not a female.”
JIVE: “But how do we really know ….”
GHEORGHE: “ Alister Hayze now dragging the face of MWG against the ropes … AND HE BASHES HIS HEAD INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!! Alister Hayze now …. SWINGING NECKBREAKER! And it appears that Alister Hayze has decided that right now might be a little soon to try to end the match, Nick.”
JIVE: “I just think he’s stupid .. anyone would have tried to end the match right there … but he is prolonging it. Hey … maybe he ENJOYS being out there w/ Em Dubbya Gee!”
GHEORGHE: “Hayze dragging MWG to the corner ….. AND ALISTER HAYZE IS CLIMBING THE TURNBUCKLES!”
JIVE: “This isn’t too smart!”
GHEORGHE: “Hayze up top ….. AND HE YANKS ON THE LEATHER STRAP AND MWG IS LIFTED OFF THE APRON! MWG struggling to get to his feet …… MWG on his feet …. AND ALISTER HAYZE FLIES OFF THE TOP ROPE AND CLOTHESLINES MWG WITH THE LEATHER STRAP!!!! MWG does a 360 in the air and hits the mat! Alister Hayze now bringing MWG to the corner … picks him up .. and he slams his head into the top turnbuckle! Hayze now dragging MWG to the second turnbuckle … and he hits his head into that corner!”
JIVE: “MWG is going to stop him right here!”
GHEORGHE: “Hayze now dragging a groggy MWG to the third corner …. AND HE HITS HIS HEAD INTO THAT TURNBUCKLE! Alister Hayze just needs to hit that fourth turnbuckle pad and then knock MWG to the mat and he’ll be the #1 contender to the Television title!”
JIVE: “Come on Em Dubbya Gee!”
GHEORGHE: “Hayze dragging MWG to the final corner … BUT MWG IS FINALLY FIGHTING IT! MWG grabs onto the ropes with his hands … and Hayze trying to pull him off …. MWG still fighting …. Hayze yanks on the rope … and MWG goes in the air and falls back to the mat …. BUT HE’s STILL HOLDING ONTO THE ROPES!”
JIVE: “Did you think that he’d let Alister Hayze get away with this? Definitely not! MWG is a fighter .. and as Alister Hayze is going to find out later, he’s also a lover, Tom.”
GHEORGHE: “Alister Hayze trying to get MWG to the last turnbuckle ….. AND MWG LETS GO! MWG uses the momentum to charge at Alister Hayze … AND HAYZE CAUGHT OFF GUARD! MWG CLOTHESLINES HAYZE OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ALISTER HAYZE FALLS TO THE ARENA FLOOR!”
JIVE: “Oh no!”
GHEORGHE: “AND MWG GETS PULLED OVER BY THE LEATHER STRAP, TOO!”
JIVE: “Damn that leather strap! Damn it to hell!”
GHEORGHE: “Both men are lying on the arena floor … Alister Hayze was caught off guard by MWG releasing the ropes, and MWG clotheslined him out of the ring! That’s one way to stop the succession, Nick.”
JIVE: “And now that they’re on the outside .. MWG is going to have some fun.”
GHEORGHE: “MWG getting to his feet … as is Alister Hayze .. MWG trying to get around the ringpost …. He gets to the other side … and now MWG with a yank of the leather strap …. AND HAYZE GETS TUGGED FACE FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST! Alister Hayze falls to the arena floor and now MWG is dragging him around the ring! MWG … MWG IS GETTING A CHAIR!”
JIVE: “What can he do now?”
GHEORGHE: “I don’t even want to know what he has in store for Alister Hayze!”
JIVE: “Well, you’re about to find out!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG lies the chair on the arena floor .. and he picks up Alister Hayze …… AND MWG IS GOING TO TRY TO PILEDRIVER HAYZE ONTO THE CHAIR!”
JIVE: “Ingenious!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG picks up Hayze … BUT HAYZE MANAGES TO FIGHT THE ATTEMPT! MWG tries again … AND HAYZE AGAIN BLOCKS IT!”
JIVE: “Give up, Hayze .. you’re through after this!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG with the leather strap …. AND HE WHIPS HAYZE ACROSS THE BACK! BUT HAYZE RESPONDS BY BACK BODY DROPPING MWG!! MWG looks stunned!”
JIVE: “Where did Hayze get that energy?”
GHEORGHE: “MWG gets to his feet … AND ALISTER HAYZE JUST TOOK THE LEATHER STRAP AND WHIPPED HIM ACROSS THE FACE!!!”
JIVE: “And MWG is bleeding from his nose!”
GHEORGHE: “Alister Hayze now with a drop toe hold …. AND MWG JUST WENT HEAD FIRST INTO THE LAID OUT CHAIR!”
JIVE: “And now I’m guessing he’s going to be gushing!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG turns over … and by God, the chair is covered with blood!”
JIVE: “And MWG’s face looks like someone shot him in the face with a paintball.”
GHEORGHE: “Alister Hayze picking up MWG and he rolls him in the ring … Hayze now in afterwards .. Alister Hayze getting behind MWG … and he german suplexes him to the mat! Hayze now trying to lock on a figure four … AND HAYZE HAS THE FIGURE FOUR LOCKED ON! ALISTER HAYZE HAS THE FIGURE FOUR LOCKED ON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!”
JIVE: “But there aren’t any submissions in this match!”
GHEORGHE: “Hayze is trying to immobilize Em Dubbya Gee! AND MWG JUST SPAT A WAD OF BLOOD INTO THE FACE OF ALISTER HAYZE! Hayze releases the figure four and is now trying to get the mixture of spit and blood out of his eyes!”
JIVE: “So that’s how you get out of a figure four!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG now trying to wipe the blood from his own face … they are both on their feet … MWG with a rushing knee to the abdomen and that doubles over Alister Hayze … MWG locks the head AND DRIVES HAYZE TO THE MAT WITH A DDT!”
JIVE: “Now is the time, MWG! Put this baby in the bag!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG now looking down at Alister Hayze … AND HE IS WIPING HIS BLOOD OFF OF HAYZE’s FACE! MWG ….. MWG ……….”
(SFX: Crowd groans)
GHEORGHE: “OH MY GOD!”
JIVE: “HE IS LICKING THE BLOOD OFF OF ALISTER HAYZE’s MOUTH!”
GHEORGHE: “Alister Hayze realizing what is going on … AND HE JUST KNOCKED MWG IN THE FACE WITH A LEFT HOOK!”
JIVE: “I think MWG put more blood on Hayze’s face than what he was trying to get off!”
GHEORGHE: “I doubt he was trying to get anything off!”
JIVE: “Well, maybe he was trying to get himself off…”
GHEORGHE: “Nick! Hayze and MWG both on their feet … AND MWG CHARGES AT HAYZE ….. HAYZE DUCKS THE CLOTHESLINE ….. AND HE LOCKS MWG IN A SLEEPER HOLD!”
JIVE: “This is a bad move for Em Dubbya Gee to be stuck in! He’s already lost a lot of blood … so he’s going to fall out of consciousness a lot quicker than he would had he not!”
GHEORGHE: “Hayze has the hands locked … and he is slowly putting MWG out!”
(The crowd begins to jeer as Juliet Marceau begins to walk down the rampway. She is wearing a very short skirt, and a tight fitting top.)
JIVE: “THERE’s MARCEAU!”
GHEORGHE: “That’s all we need!!! Juliet Marceau is coming down to ringside and I know that this isn’t of support of Alister Hayze!”
JIVE: “Maybe she’s changed her mind! Afterall, we don’t know where Dylan McCormick is!”
GHEORGHE: “Alister Hayze doesn’t see her yet …. AND HE KNOCKS MWG’s head into ONE corner …… he brings MWG over to the second turnbuckle …. AND HE HITS THE TURNBUCKLE WITH MWG’s head ……. AND ALISTER HAYZE NAILS MWG INTO THE THIRD TURNBUCKLE!!! Hayze is once more only one turnbuckle away!”
JIVE: “Uh ohhhhh.”
GHEORGHE: “Alister Hayze walking to the fourth turnbuckle .. SOMEONE GET HER DOWN! Juliet Marceau is standing in the corner on the outside of the fourth turnbuckle … AND SHE IS BLOWING KISSES TO ALISTER HAYZE!”
JIVE: “See! I told you she was here in support of Alister Hayze!”
GHEORGHE: “Alister Hayze walking a little closer to the final turnbuckle .. and he’s dropped MWG to the mat … and he’s dragging him to the final turnbuckle!”
JIVE: “Oh so close, Tom.”
GHEORGHE: “Alister Hayze is just one turnbuckle away from winning his title shot against Alex Borden for the Television title .. and here is Juliet Marceau out to mess with him! Marceau now leaning over the top rope and beckoning Hayze to come closer!”
JIVE: “LOOK AT THAT CLEAVAGE!”
GHEORGHE: “Hayze coming closer … AND MARCEAU IS ASKING HIM FOR A KISS?!?”
JIVE: “She fell for HAYZE?!”
GHEORGHE: “Alister Hayze quickly obliges … AND ALISTER HAYZE AND VICE PRESIDENT JULIET MARCEAU ARE ENGAGED IN A KISS!!!”
JIVE: “MWG IS AWAKE!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG SLOWLY GETTING TO HIS FEET AS JULIET MARCEAU WRAPS HER ARMS AROUND ALISTER HAYZE!”
JIVE: “What the hell is going on here?!”
GHEORGHE: “WAIT A MINUTE!!! JULIET MARCEAU JUST DROPPED A PAIR OF BRASS KNUCKLES BEHIND ALISTER HAYZE!”
(The camera does a close up on Juliet Marceau’s face, which can be seen over Alister Hayze’s right shoulder. She looks at MWG and motions, with her eyes, to the brass knuckles.)
GHEORGHE: “AND MARCEAU MOTIONING TO MWG TO GET THE BRASS KNUCKLES!!! WHY THE HELL COULDN’T SHE MIND HER OWN BUSINESS?!”
JIVE: “Ahahaha … And here I thought she really enjoyed kissing Alister Hayze!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG now quietly picking up the brass knuckles ….. and Juliet Marceau hops off the apron disengaged from her kiss … Hayze turns …. AND MWG PLASTERS HIM RIGHT INTO THE JAW WITH THE BRASS KNUCKLES!!! ALISTER HAYZE FALLS LIKE A TON OF BRICKS!”
(The crowd begins to jeer immensely at the actions and trash begins to fly into the ring.)
JIVE: “These ungrateful little heathens here in Phoenix! They’re witnessing the perfect plan!”
GHEORGHE: “The fans here in Phoenix are showing their discontent with the actions of Juliet Marceau …. As MWG is carrying a very out of it Alister Hayze to the first turnbuckle ….. and he nails Hayze into the pad ….. MWG dragging Hayze to the second turnbuckle … and he nails Hayze into the pad …. MWG now dragging Hayze to the third turnbuckle … AND HE NAILS HAYZE INTO IT ….”
JIVE: “THIS IS IT!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG NOW WAVING TO THE FANS AS HE DRAGS ALISTER HAYZE TO THE FOURTH AND FINAL TURNBUCKLE …… AND HE NAILS ALISTER HAYZE’s FOREHEAD INTO THE TURNBUCKLE PAD!”
JIVE: “All he has to do now is knock him to the ground!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG now grabbing the head of Hayze …………….. DISAPPEAR HERE DDT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWG WINS THE MATCH BECAUSE OF THE DISGUSTING ANTICS OF VICE PRESIDENT JULIET MARCEAU!!!”
(SFX: Bell rings as the fans begin to throw more and more trash into the ring.)
JACOBS: “The winner of this match …. And the #1 Contender to the New ERA Television Championship …………………… EM DUBBYA GEE!”
JIVE: “Yes! MWG versus Alex Borden! And then Chaos versus Jean Rabesque … WHAT A NEXT COUPLE OF SHOWS WE HAVE COMING UP!”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen … we’re out of … WAIT … MWG IS STILL IN THE RING! WE ARE OUT OF TIME ….. WHAT IS HE DOING? JOIN US NEXT TIME FROM SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA!!!!”
JIVE: “HE’s MOUNTING ALISTER HAYZE!!”
(MWG is still in the ring as the trash flies by the camera lens … he is sitting on top of Alister Hayze’s chest and brings his face closer and closer to Hayze’s … as MWG’s lips are about to make contact with Hayze’s the camera cuts to the rampway, where Juliet Marceau is walking about the rampway, with her back to the “action” … she touches her lips, takes a breath and smiles. FADETOBLACK: As you hear the fans kinda pop and groan at the same time.)
