(FADEIN: To ringside with Tom Gheorghe and Nick Jive, who are sitting down, watching the end of RAPTURE on their mini-monitors.)
GHEORGHE: “Welcome to RAUCOUS … and what a debut for New ERA’s secondary show, RAPTURE!”
JIVE: “I was there, Tom, and let me tell you .. that main event was BRUTAL … and to have ANTAEUS interfere the way he did … well, that was just the icing on top of the cake!”
GHEORGHE: “If you missed RAPTURE, I highly recommend you head over to New ERA on DEMAND and watch it again! Chaos will now get his World Heavyweight Championship shot as ANTAEUS came down to the ring … and caused the World Heavyweight Champion .. caused Jean Rabesque to lose the match via countout!”
JIVE: “Not only that .. but he drug him under the ring and ripped him a new asshole!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque did NOT look good as he tried to crawl back from underneath the ring, and he eventually passed out midway out.”
JIVE: “You should have seen the EMTs rush to the ring after RAPTURE faded out, Tom .. it was as if he were Mother Theresa or something!”
GHEORGHE: “And what about Marcus LaRoque’s announcement?!”
JIVE: “New ERA’s second pay per view!”
GHEORGHE: “New ERA BattleBRAWL … which will come to you all out there from Seattle, Washington … will feature an over the top battle royal, with combatants entering the ring every 90 seconds! It’s going to be fast, action-packed wrestling from start to finish!”
JIVE: “Not only that … but the winner will get the BattleBRAWL Championship Cup … which he keeps as a souvenir for the accomplishment!”
GHEORGHE: “Also at BattleBRAWL, and what many people have been waiting for, the Women’s Division will OFFICIALLY kick off as the women of New ERA of Wrestling will be in a match to determine who will walk out of BattleBRAWL as its FIRST Women’s Champion!”
JIVE: “I can tell you right now .. I’d love anyone, with the exception of that hussy Jane Doe, to walk out of the ring as the Women’s Champion!”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen, let me welcome you again to this edition of RAUCOUS as we’re live from the America West Arena here in Phoenix, Arizona .. and let me tell you right now, the fans in attendance here are looking forward to what should be an EXCELLENT card, Nick!”
JIVE: “Well, hopefully there won’t be as many lopsided matches on RAUCOUS as there were on RAPTURE. It seemed, with one or two exceptions, that people like Red Devastator and Shawn Hart, just walked all over their opponents!”
GHEORGHE: “I can assure you that that won’t be the case here tonight .. but I do have some bad news for all you fans out there that were looking forward to finally seeing the Troy Douglas / Dylan McCormick match. That match has been scrapped tonight, and to tell you the truth, Nick, I don’t think that it’ll EVER take place!”
JIVE: “As we all saw on RAPTURE, Vice President Juliet Marceau, who had taken a liking to Dylan McCormick, was VERY upset and was talking about the disappearance of a superstar. We can only assume, as it still hasn’t been confirmed, that she was talking about McCormick.”
GHEORGHE: “And we’ve also learned today that Troy Douglas, an EPW superstar who never quite got off the ground here in New ERA, has been let go by New ERA. It’s a shame, Nick. I’ve seen fantastic things from Douglas over in EPW and elsewhere, but he didn’t seem to have the same drive and determination here.”
JIVE: “Well, all I can say is that I hope he does return in the future … because I want McCormick to kick his sissy ass!”
GHEORGHE: “That’s if we ever find out where McCormick is!”
JIVE: “Very true.”
GHEORGHE: “Also in action tonight we will see the double debut of two hot new stars. I have personally been waiting to see this match ever since it was announced. Newcomers Jay and the Phantom Republican are scheduled for our opening bout.”
JIVE: “The Phantom Republican is a hot commodity, Tom. I’ve seen Jay wrestle before in the UEW .. and he has some serious talent. This should be a hard fought match, and I can’t wait to see who comes out on top!”
GHEORGHE: “We’ll have one of our last Special Women’s Division Preview matches tonight as Caitlyn Daymon and Jane Doe go head to head in the ring.”
JIVE: “I am happy. New ERA has four women, and the combinations of matches can only last so long in the special preview matches.”
GHEORGHE: “Well, just so you know, we’ve got two new women on the New ERA roster … I just received word that we signed them to a contract which is why President LaRoque has decided to go ahead and jump start the division at BattleBRAWL!”
JIVE: “Good. Because I want to see Jane Doe get her ass kicked by as many different women as I can. It’s almost masochistic.”
GHEORGHE: “It’s very masochistic, Nick … Honestly, I think you say these things because you’re sexually attracted to her.”
JIVE: “Oh yea? Well that’s not true .. because I say the same things about her brother, John Doe.”
GHEORGHE: “Case in point, Nick.”
JIVE: “WHY I OUGHTA ….”
GHEORGHE: “Calm down, Nick. Ha, haaaa..”
JIVE: “Just watch what you say, Tom. I had to deal with Jason Tripp for RAPTURE and I’m already very short fused!”
GHEORGHE: “In what will be a rematch from the RAUCOUS before DESTRUCITY, ‘Too Sweet’ Travis Smith and El Arco Iris will go head to head .. and their first encounter was extremely pleasing to watch, I can only expect bigger and better things from these two!”
JIVE: “Travis Smith came out on the short end the first time .. I can bet my left testicle that he’s going to do everything he can to outdo El Pato Iris this time!”
GHEORGHE: “Also .. in a match that should make you very happy, Nick, John Doe will go face to face with ‘Gentleman’ Jonathan Marx!”
JIVE: “What do you mean it should make me very happy? Are you insane, Tom? Not only do I have to suffer through JANE DOE’s match earlier in the night … but then I have to watch John Doe only a match or later? This is torture. I should sue New ERA for inhumane practices. First, having to do color for Tripp .. now having to color for two Doe’s in one night! UGH.”
GHEORGHE: “John Doe and Jonathan Marx are both incredible talents. John Doe has had a share of title shots for the Television Championship, and while he wasn’t successful, that was mostly because he had to face Jean Rabesque, who is now currently the World Heavyweight Champion!”
JIVE: “Well now I can hear John Doe cry and whine until he gets a third chance to take on Rabesque. He needs to stick to doing what he does best.”
GHEORGHE: “And that would be?”
JIVE: “Being the punching bag for the rest of New ERA.”
GHEORGHE: “Oh Nick. Jonathan Marx has been wallowing in the mid-card since the Fatal Fourway match for the World Heavyweight Championship in Greensboro… and its very unfitting for a man who holds the EPW Intercontinental title.”
JIVE: “Marx is held in very high regard in the front office .. I’m sure he’s going to get his chance soon to make a push for a major title here. It’s hard, when you’ve got so many great guys and only two titles, Tom.”
GHEORGHE: “That just makes the action even more intense.. because everyone knows that even one loss can set you back!”
JIVE: “And the two men who are feeling that heat the most right now are Alister Hayze and Em Dubbya Gee!”
GHEORGHE: “Those two men are scheduled to face each other in tonight’s main event .. which is a LEATHER STRAP MATCH to determine the #1 Contender for the Television Championship currently held by Alex Borden!”
JIVE: “Em Dubbya Gee versus Alex Borden for the title is going to be a match of the year candidate, if you ask me.”
GHEORGHE: “That’s if Em Dubbya Gee can get past Alister Hayze who is tearing through the competition here.”
JIVE: “Just if he could get that silly notion of infatuation out of his head for Marceau, he might actually have a chance to do something here.”
GHEORGHE: “We’ll see, Nick … we’ll see. But ladies and gentlemen … enough of the talk. We’re going to take a quick commercial break … and when we get back .. RAUCOUS KICKS OFF AS JAY AND THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN MAKE THEIR NEW ERA DEBUTS!”