JACOBS: “Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall and is a single elimination triple threat match to name a new contender to the TELEVISION TITLE! Introducing first …. He is the CURRENT New ERA of Wrestling TELEVISION CHAMPION ……EM DUBBYA GEE!!”
(MWG comes strutting out from behind the curtain, Krist Blue following him. The fans jeer him, and he HISSES at them!)
GHEORGHE: “MWG acting as special referee tonight..”
JACOBS: “Introducing the first competitor….”
(CUEUP: ‘Dog of War’ by Pink Floyd. The lights go down but no one comes out from behind the curtain..)
JACOBS: “From Payneville, Kentucky….”
(Still nothing…)
JIVE: “Where is he?”
(Nope .. stop looking, no one’s out yet..)
GHEORGHE: “Jason Payne’s music is playing but I don’t see him anywhere!”
JULIUS: “Maybe someone finally locked that nutcase up in the loony bin where he belongs!”
(MWG motions to Carl Jacobs to cut the intro of Payne..)
JACOBS: “Alllllrighty… introducing next…”
(CUEUP: ‘Headstrong’ by Trapt as Cameron Cruise comes out from behind the curtains. Jacobs has a relieved look on his face.)
JACOBS: “He stands 6’4 and weighs 248 pounds … from Jacksonville, North Carolina …. ‘the Crippler’ CAMERON CRUISE!!!!”
JIVE: “Cruise looks around for Jason Payne .. and he smiles and shrugs his shoulders.”
JULIUS: “One less man for him to beat.”
(CUEUP: ‘That’s Entertainment’ by the Jam. Mr. Entertainment comes from behind the curtain to jeers from the crowd.)
JACOBS: “And finally … hailing from Ashland, Oregon … standing 6’2 and weighing 234 pounds …… MISTER ENTERTAINMENT!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORGHE: “Things are underway here … and MWG is now walking over to Mr. Entertainment.. and he is saying he has to pat him down!”
JULIUS: “Here we go already..”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment holding his arms out as MWG pats him down … and now the TV champion taking an awfully long time to pat down the waist area..”
JIVE: “He’s just doing a thorough job..”
GHEORGHE: “MWG down to the thigh .. AND NOW HE PATS THE CROTCH OF MR. ENTERTAINMENT! Mr. Entertainment just pushed him away!”
JIVE: “He’s already getting pushy with the referee… that won’t fly.”
GHEORGHE: “MWG puts his hands up as if to say ‘what?’ … and now he turns to Cameron Cruise .. and Cruise is pointing at him and saying ‘don’t even think about it!’ .. MWG winks at him .. and he’s telling both men to get it on.”
JULIUS: “I bet he is!”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment out of the corner and he walks up to Cameron Cruise .. those two now having words in the middle of the ring … and they are face to face!”
JIVE: “They had some pretty heated exchanges leading up to tonight’s match and I know both want a chance to win the Television title so bad they can taste it.”
JULIUS: “MWG would give them the title outright if he could get either one of them to taste it, I’m sure.”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment grabs Cruise’s arm … he goes for a quick shortarm clothesline, but Cruise ducks underneath … he grabs Mr. Entertainment by the waist and throws him into the corner! Cruise in after him and starts driving the boots into the midsection.. Mr. Entertainment catches the foot of Cruise … he spins him around … AND CONNECTS WITH A CLOTHESLINE!”
JIVE: “Both these men are quick .. this should be a pretty good match even without Jason Payne.”
JULIUS: “You mean a normal match without Payne..”
JIVE: “Don’t forget, MWG is still the special referee and Krist Blue is on the outside.”
JULIUS: “True.”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment waits for Cameron Cruise to get to his feet … and he takes him down with a dropkick! Cruise back up … and Entertainment with another dropkick sends him back down! Cruise up a third time … and this time he swats a dropkick attempt by Mr. Entertainment aside and Entertainment hits the mat!”
JIVE: “He tried going to the well too many times on that one.”
GHEORGHE: “Cameron Cruise grabs Mr. Entertainment by the head and brings him to his feet … and he hiptosses him to the mat! Cruise now locks on a chinlock and MWG is over to make sure its legal. MWG checking to see if there’s enough space … and now he’s caressing the arm of Cameron Cruise! Cruise releases the hold and he’s in the face of the Television Champion!”
JULIUS: “I wouldn’t want to be face to face with MWG …”
GHEORGHE: “And I think Cruise just realized the same thing as he slowly backs away and turns his attention back to Mr. Entertainment … but Entertainment was up and waiting! Entertainment with a kick to the gut and he DDTs Cruise to the mat! Mr. Entertainment on his feet and he starts driving the boots into the back of Cruise.”
JIVE: “When I look at Mr. Entertainment I see someone who would look good with the Television Title around his waist … not to say that MWG is going to lose the title any time soon, but Mr. Entertainment .. he’s the type of champion you could watch over and over.”
GHEORGHE: “Well if he gets the victory here tonight he will get his chance to win that title once more next RAUCOUS. Entertainment grabs the arm of Cruise wraps around it … and drops the leg down! Cruise rolls to his side clutching his arm and now he’s getting to his feet… Mr. Entertainment with Cruise and irish whips him into the ro.. NO! Cruise with a reversal as Entertainment goes into the ropes! Entertainment back … he ducks under the Cruise clothesline … off the opposite ropes .. comes back with a flying crossbody … BUT CRUISE DUCKS AND ENTERTAINMENT HITS NOTHING BUT AIR!”
JULIUS: “And mat!”
GHEORGHE: “Cameron Cruise with a knee to the face as Entertainment gets up… Cruise now grabs Mr. Entertainment .. and hits the inverted atomic drop! Entertainment walking gingerly … and now MWG is over … AND HE CUPS THE GROIN OF MR. ENTERTAINMENT!”
JIVE: “He’s asking him if he’s alright, Gheorghe! There’s nothing weird about that!”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment shoves MWG off of him as he walks over to the corner … and here comes Cameron Cruise! Cruise with an elbow to the top of the head of Mr. Entertainment .. and he hooks the arm and waist … and takes him over with a suplex.. Cruise up … and drops the elbow into the head of Mr. Entertainment again. Cameron Cruise really working over Entertainment in the early goings of this match.”
JULIUS: “He’s a changed man, Gheorghe. He’s got that fight back in him now that he knows how close he was to getting the title shot.”
GHEORGHE: “Cameron Cruise quick to bring Mr. Entertainment back to his feet instead of working him over on the mat and he brings him into the corner. Cruise now grabs the head of Entertainment … AND RUNS OUT OF THE CORNER WITH THE BULLDOG! He makes the cover … ONE ….. TWO---KICKOUT. Mr. Entertainment kicked out before two..”
JIVE: “Mr. Entertainment showing he’s still very much in this match..”
GHEORGHE: “Cameron Cruise now back to his feet and he brings Mr. Entertainment with him … Cruise grab… no! Mr. Entertainment with a rake of the eyes! Entertainment now with an irish whip and he sends Cruise into the corner! Mr. Entertainment comes in after him … and he is connecting with those fists! Cruise reverses! Cameron Cruise laying into Mr. Entertainment with fists of his own …”
JULIUS: “MWG is trying to squeeze his way in there to break it up.”
GHEORGHE: “MWG in between Cruise and Mr. Entertainment .. but they continue swinging at each other!”
JIVE: “Wait a minute .. MWG throws his hands up … he’s enjoying this!"
JULIUS: “Well Cruise keeps on bumping into him and causing him to bump into Mr. Entertainment!”
GHEORGHE: “Both men stop as they look at MWG … and now he’s telling them not to stop!”
JULIUS: “I will never claim to understand the mind of the Television champion. He’s supposed to be refereeing the match, not get gangbanged.”
GHEORGHE: “Both men stop … BUT MR. ENTERTAINMENT THUMBS CRUISE IN THE EYE! Cruise walks out holding his face … and Entertainment from behind rolls him up! ONE ……… TWO …….. THR—NOOOOOO!! Cameron Cruise gets out! Cruise back up in a hurry … ducks under the clothesline by Mr. Entertainment … Entertainment off the ropes as Cruise turns … AND MR. ENTERTAINMENT CLOCKS CAMERON CRUISE WITH THE FLYING FOREARM!”
JIVE: “Cruise was just laid out in a hurry.”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment walking around the ring now looking for some acknowledgment from the crowd for his work so far.. but they’re not giving him it.”
JIVE: “These ingrates … this man is the most entertaining thing they’ll see all night and they don’t even know it.”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment catches Cruise with a European uppercut as he was getting to his feet. Entertainment backs Cruise up … and goes for another DDT … BUT CRUISE HOLDS ON TO THE ROPES!”
JULIUS: “He backed him right into the ropes and Cruise was aware enough to hold on to them.”
GHEORGHE: “Entertainment back to his feet and he comes after Cruise … Entertainment charges … BUT CRUISE DROPS DOWN AND BRINGS THE TOP ROPE WITH HIM ….. ENTERTAINMENT JUST GOES TUMBLING OVER THE ROPE AND TO THE OUTSIDE!”
JIVE: “Now these idiots cheer?”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment gets to his feet … BUT TURNS RIGHT AS CAMERON CRUISE USES THE TOP ROPE TO CATAPULT HIMSELF OVER AND ONTO HIM! Both men are laid out on the arena floor and the crowd has just gone nuts!”
JULIUS: “MWG looks worried, and I think he wants to go out there and make sure both men … or at least their lower extremities, are still alive.”
GHEORGHE: “MWG starting the count though as Cameron Cruise looks like he’s going to be the first person to his feet. Mr. Entertainment has a hold of the ring apron, but Cruise is up .. and Cruise drives the axehandle into the lower back of Mr. Entertainment! Cruise grabs him … AND HE THROWS HIM INTO THE RINGSTEPS! Those steps just moved across the floor!”
JIVE: “Apparently someone on the ring crew needs to learn how to weight those down better.”
GHEORGHE: “MWG now leaning through the ropes and yells at Cruise to bring it back in the ring .. and surprisingly Cameron Cruise listens! Cruise rolls Mr. Entertainment into the ring … and .. HE’S GOING UP TOP! Cameron Cruise is climbing the turnbuckles …. He is there and waiting …. Mr. Entertainment getting to his feet …. CAMERON CRUISE FLIES OFF WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK …….. BUT MR. ENTERTAINMENT MOVES!!!”
JIVE: “Tough break there, but you gotta make sure that you have enough time to hit that as well as have your opponent too off center to know where he is.”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment has Cruise by the hair and he is wailing away with those closed fists … Entertainment now with Cruise between his legs..”
JIVE: “I bet that gets MWG excited..”
GHEORGHE: “Anywho … Entertainment now has him … EMERALD FUSION! He hits the over the shoulder cradle neckbreaker …. ONE …….. TWO ………. THREE!! YES! NOOO! MWG signaling that Cruise kicked out!”
JULIUS: “That was an awfully close 2 count .. but MWG was right there and he saw the shoulder go up!”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment thought he had him, but he’ll have to go back to the drawing board. Entertainment grabs the legs of Cameron Cruise … and he drags him to the center of the ring … AND DROPS A KNEE INTO THE ABDOMEN OF CRUISE! Cameron Cruise buckles up … AND GETS KICKED IN THE FACE! Mr. Entertainment looks to have gained control as we’re well into this match … and he is patting himself on the back!”
JULIUS: “This match has gone back and forth with both men looking like they’re about to put it away.”
GHEORGHE: “Entertainment has Cruise up and he hooks the waist for a gutwrench suplex .. but Cruise blocks! Entertainment tries to bring him up again … but Cruise blocks again! Cameron Cruise with an elbow to the stomach! And another! And a third! Cruise breaks Mr. Entertainment’s hold and he grabs him … NECKBREAKER! Both men are down on the mat!”
JIVE: “Just like that this match swings to the middle. I know that he’s the special referee right now, but if I were MWG, I’d try to make sure that neither one of them could compete for the Television title next RAUCOUS!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG is a great competitor, if a little unconventional ..”
JULIUS: “A LITTLE?”
GHEORGHE: “As I was saying … MWG would welcome the chance to face either one of these guys in the ring in a title defense.. MWG administering the standing ten count … and it looks like Cameron Cruise is going to be the first person to get to his feet. Cruise is on his knees … and he’s over to Mr. Entertainment ….. the cover … ONE ………. TWO ……….. THR—NOOO!! Entertainment kicks out!”
JIVE: “Too much time passed as Cruise has definitely started to feel all the damage he took earlier in the match.”
GHEORGHE: “Cruise getting back to his feet and he brings Mr. Entertainment up with him … Cruise with an irish whip… but Mr. Entertainment reverses…. AND CRUISE REVERSES IT AGAIN!! Mr. Entertainment goes back first into the corner … he comes stumbling out … and Cruise with a kick to the gut …. AND CRUISE LOCKS UP MR. ENTERTAINMENT!”
(The fans start making noise!)
JULIUS: “The fans getting excited over the Reality Check!”
JIVE: “It’s not the Reality Check!”
GHEORGHE: “REALITY CHECK!! HE NAILS IT!!”
JIVE / JULIUS: “OH MY GOD….”
GHEORGHE: “JASON PAYNE!!! JASON PAYNE HAS HOPPED OVER THE BARRIER … AND HE IS WEARING NOTHING BUT A PINK BIKINI!”
JULIUS: “If only MWG turned around and saw this … he’d forget about the match in a heartbeat!”
GHEORGHE: “Payne shoves the ring attendant from his chair … AND HE SLIDES INTO THE RING WITH IT!”
(SFX: CRACCCCKKK!)
GHEORGHE: “PAYNE JUST LEVELED MWG!”
(SFX: CRACCCCKKK!)
GHEORGHE: “AND THERE GOES CAMERON CRUISE!”
JULIUS: “He can’t just come in here now!”
GHEORGHE: “I don’t think that is why he is here, Dean! Jason Payne is standing in the middle of the ring .. and he drops the chair! Payne is looking down at the carnage he left in the ring … and … and … he looks like he doesn’t know what he’s just done… Payne biting his lip as he turns …. AND NOW HIS EYES OPEN WIDE AND LOOK AT THAT SMILE!”
JIVE: “My momma would say that’s the devil’s smile…”
GHEORGHE: “JASON PAYNE SLIDES TO THE OUTSIDE …… OH NO! HE JUST GRABBED KRIST BLUE!! JASON PAYNE THROWS BLUE OVER HIS SHOULDER …. AND NOW HE’s HEADING UP THE RAMPWAY!”
JULIUS: “Someone get me some earplugs!!! Krist Blue is screeching like a banchee!”
JIVE: “Just like your mom last night when I was porking her..”
JULIUS: “My mom is 65…”
JIVE: “She’s a MILF..”
JULIUS: “No she is NOT.”
GHEORGHE: “Jason Payne has just taken Krist Blue from ringside … but all three men are down in the ring!”
JIVE: “Who is supposed to officiate if MWG is out cold?!”
GHEORGHE: “Cameron Cruise was just a few seconds away from assuredly winning the title shot as he hit the Reality Check on Mr. Entertainment .. but Jason Payne finally made his appearance … and what a way to do it! He leveled MWG and Cruise before running off with Krist Blue over his shoulder!”
JIVE: “Mr. Entertainment is moving!!”
GHEORGHE: “Where? WAIT! HE IS! Mr. Entertainment rolls onto his stomach … and he’s trying to get to his feet! HE IS UP! Mr. Entertainment looks down at MWG and Cruise .. and he is looking around wondering what the hell has gone on here!”
JULIUS: “Jason Payne running around in a pink bikini is what just happened, and believe me, I’d rather be hit with the Reality Check than have to see that again!"
GHEORGHE: “Entertainment now climbing the ropes … he still looks confused …. Mr. Entertainment on the top rope …. He sets up …………. SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! HE NAILS IT!”
JIVE: “But there’s no one to make the count, Gheorghe!”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment looks at the body of MWG and now he releases the … what is he doing?”
JULIUS: “Mr. Entertainment slapping MWG … and now he’s dragging Cameron Cruise over th… OH LORD…”
GHEORGHE: “MR. ENTERTAINMENT IS USING CRUISE’s HAND TO HIT MWG IN THE NETHER REGION ………. AND MWG JUST SAT UP WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE!!”
JIVE: “That’s one way to wake the ref…”
GHEORGHE: “Entertainment now drags Cruise to his feet … he hooks…… STUN GUN! WAIT! THERE IT IS!!! THAT’s ENTERTAINMENT!!! MR. ENTERTAINMENT WITH THE BRIDGE …………. ONE ……………… TWO ……………. THREEE!!!!!”
(SFX: Bell rings!)
JACOBS: “The winner of this match and the #1 contender to the Television title ….. MISTER ENTERTAINMENT!!”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment getting the victory thanks to Jason Payne …. And he is celebrating like he did it all by himself!”
JIVE: “Hey he doesn’t know what happened, so hell, he might as well have!”
JULIUS: “MWG is looking around for Krist Blue…”
GHEORGHE: “MWG doesn’t know that Jason…..”
(The big screen flickers to life as we cut to a live shot of Jason Payne, pink speedo and all, carrying a screeching Krist Blue over his shoulder..)
JULIUS: “AHHHHH! MY EYES!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG SEES PAYNE!! AND HE SHOOTS OUT OF THE RING!! MWG IS CHARGING UP THE RAMPWAY!!! Ladies and gentlemen we have got to take a commercial break ….. but we’ll be right back with the leather strap match!!!”
