[ Nassau Coliseum ] Uniondale, New York



PRESENTS ....

(CUEUP: ‘The Perfect Drug’ by Nine Inch Nails.  The crowd pops as New ERA President Marcus LaRoque comes out onto the platform, microphone in hand.)

GHEORGHE: “There is New ERA President Marcus LaRoque .. and it looks like we’re going to start things off here with that big announcement you were talking about, Nick!”

JIVE: “I know from my backstage staff what it is .. and believe me .. it’s big!”

GHEORGHE: “Well let’s hear what he has to say!”

LaROQUE: “Hellllo, Uniondale!”

(SFX: Cheap hometown pop.)

LaROQUE: “We love New York here in New ERA … which is why I thought it only right that we make this announcement here tonight!”

JIVE: “Stop sucking up, LaRoque .. and just get with it!”

LaROQUE: “As you all know .. New ERA of Wrestling’s next pay per view is BattleBRAWL 2 .. and its coming from Madison Square Garden in New York City!”

(SFX: More cheap popping going on.)

GHEORGHE: “The first BattleBRAWL was a smashing success from the Key Arena .. and in the grand daddy arena of them all … BattleBRAWL 2 should repeat its success, if not overshadow it!”

JIVE: “I can’t tell whose a bigger loser, you or LaRoque.”

LaROQUE: “There’s been a lot of speculation going on about the show .. since its only a little ways away … and tonight I’m going to break it down for you!”

(SFX: Poppity, pop pop.)

LaROQUE: “Juliet Marceau an..”

(SFX: Massive jeers.)

JIVE: “They love Juliet in Uniondale..”

LaROQUE: “Juliet Marceau and I have talked it over .. and in addition to the BattleBRAWL rumble itself .. there’s going to be THREE huge matches.”

(SFX: Pop.)

LaROQUE: “First and foremost .. Karla Starr will be putting her Women’s Title on the line …”

GHEORGHE: “A Women’s Title match .. if you remember .. Karla Starr won the title at the first BattleBRAWL by cheating Caitlyn Daymon out of a hard fought victory after she went through four other women in the Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal gauntlet match..”

LaROQUE: “Right now there’s plenty of great challengers … BUT … should Foxx win her match here tonight…”

(SFX: Crowd starts chanting “MUD! MUD! MUD!”)

LaROQUE: “Karla Starr will have no other choice but to face her AT BATTLEBRAWL!”

(SFX: Huge pop!)

GHEORGHE: “That’ll give Foxx a hell of a reason to win tonight!”

JIVE: “No shit, Sherlock.”

LaROQUE: “Also in action .. you’ll see CHAOS … and the PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme title!”

(SFX: Fans pop huge!)

LaROQUE: “Only Chaos knows what the match will be .. but I can promise you .. whoever he’s facing .. and whatever match he chooses …. You can bet that you’ll NEVER see anything like it again!”

(SFX: Fans pop.)

JIVE: “Chaos is going to burn down Madison Square Garden!”

GHEORGHE: “Wowza!  The Women’s Championship is on the line … and we’re going to see a P©X match!”

LaROQUE: “And in the MAIN EVENT … The PHANTOM REPUBLICAN …”

(SFX: Crowd jeers hardcore..)

GHEORGHE: “And I suspect the people here love their World Champion, too, Nick?”

JIVE: “Of course!  He’s their savior!”

LaROQUE: “Will be putting the World title on the line … against ‘Gentleman’ JONATHAN MARX!”

(SFX: Crowd pops!!)

GHEORGHE: “MARX and GOP AT BATTLEBRAWL!”

JIVE: “Who knows .. GOP might not even have the title after tonight … there may not even be a World title match at BattleBRAWL!”

LaROQUE: “But that’s not all ..”

(SFX: Crowd quiets down..)

LaROQUE: “Last year .. the winner of the BattleBRAWL rumble won the first ever BattleBRAWL Cup as well as the Television title .. and this year the winner will receive a World Title shot at the Champion at the show of their choosing …”

JIVE: “We’ve known this … come on .. give us something good!”

LaROQUE: “But New ERA of Wrestling is proud to announce … THAT WE ARE OPENING UP THE BATTLEBRAWL TO ANYONE … and we mean ANYONE .. from ANY PROMOTION to PARTICIPATE!”

(SFX: Crowd explodes.)

GHEORGHE: “WHAT?!”

JIVE: “I told you, Gheorghe! I told you this was huge!”

LaROQUE: “We are taking names … ANY names .. to see if the rest of the world can live up to the standards we have here at New ERA … SO WATCH OUT NEW YORK … BECAUSE NEW ERA… AND BATTLEBRAWL 2 ARE COMING!”

(SFX: Crowd pops huge as LaRoque leaves the platform!)

GHEORGHE: “That’s unbelievable!  New ERA’s BattleBRAWL rumble is open to anyone! That means someone from NFW could essentially win a World Title shot!”

JIVE: “Take that one step further .. we could have an outside as World Champion one day!”

GHEORGHE: “A huge announcement from New ERA’s president … my god .. BattleBRAWL 2 could be humongous!”

JIVE: “Yes!”

GHEORGHE: “RAUCOUS hasn’t even begun yet and we’ve already had a groundbreaking announcement … and what a way to segment into our first match!”

JIVE: “Okay, tone it down buddy..”

GHEORGHE: “I am just excited, Nick!”

JIVE: “As am I … MUDWRESTLING!”

GHEORGHE: “That’s not coming yet .. first up we have the two out of three falls match between Rocko Daymon and Shawn Hart..”

JIVE: “Shawn Hart wins .. now lets get to the mud.”

GHEORGHE: “I don’t think so, Nick .. Rocko Daymon has been on a roll … he defeated the man who’ll face The Phantom Republican at BattleBRAWL 2, Jonathan Marx .. and now he’s set to face ‘the Phenom’ and former WFW World Champion, Shawn Hart.”

JIVE: “Alright, alright.. let’s make this quick!”

(CUTTO: Ringside with Carl Jacobs as the lineup flashes on screen.)

JACOBS: “The following contest is a special two out of three falls match, with a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first, from Orlando, Florida…”

(CUE UP: “Nobody Does It Better” by Carly Simon. Shawn Hart steps out from behind the curtain to a decent pop, posing for the crowd as he makes his way to the ring.)

JACOBS: “He weighs in at two hundred and twenty four pounds and stands five feet eleven inches… THE PHENOM… SHAWN HART!!”

GHEORGHE: “Shawn Hart looks to be in tremendous shape. He’s been quiet all week, but not taking it lightly in the gym.”

(CUE UP: “The Hand That Feeds” by Nine Inch Nails. Rocko Daymon strides purposefully to the ring to a loud ovation from the fans.)

JACOBS: “And his opponent, coming to us from Tacoma, Washington, he weighs in at two hundred and forty three pounds and stands six feet three inches… ROCKO DAYMON!!”

GHEORGHE: “And we’re all set for action in what promises to be a great two out of three falls match.”

JIVE: “You mean I have to sit here with Rocko Daymon wrestling for two falls?”

GHEORGHE: “It could be three, Nick. With two tremendous athletes like these, it could go all the way.”

JIVE: “Please. The only time Rocko’s gone all the way was when he got his wife pregnant.”

GHEORGE: “That was beneath you.”

JIVE: “I’m a broadcast journalist - I speak only truth.”

GHEORGHE: “That’ll be the day. There’s the bell, and this match is under way as Hart lands a kick to the gut as Daymon went for the collar-and-elbow. Hart with a knee lift, and he rocks Rocko back with a big right hand.”

JIVE: “See? Easy.”

GHEORGHE: “Hart pushing Daymon back to the ropes and sends him off with an Irish whip, catching him hard there with a leg-lariat. Both men are up quickly, but Hart scores with another kick to the gut, before following up with an arm wringer, and he just SNAPS the arm of Rocko Daymon down. Looking to repeat the Irish whip, but Daymon with the reversal, and takes Hart down hard with a shoulder tackle!”

JIVE: “He pulled the hair!”

GHEORGHE: “Nick, no he didn’t. But he did just plant Hart with a powerslam, before dropping the knee across the face there. Daymon picking Hart up again, and giving him a taste of his own medicine there with an arm wringer, switching into a wristlock to really apply the pressure. The referee getting a negative response as he asks Hart if he wants to give up, and Daymon just twists the arm a bit more, and you can hear Hart scream from here. Hart still refusing to give it up though AND A HUGE SHOW OF STRENGTH FROM DAYMON AS HE LIFTS HART OFF THE CANVAS BY THE ARM!!”

JIVE: “HE’S GONNA SEPARATE HIS SHOULDER!”

GHEORGHE: “And Rocko Daymon letting Hart down, still with the wristlock applied. Hart trying to push Daymon back with a push to the chin, and finally does so, reaching the ropes, and the referee has to call for the break. Hart though with a thumb to the eyes, and he shakes his arm trying to get the kinks out. Hart trying to follow up, but he gets a forearm smash for his trouble, and Daymon follows that up quickly with a right hand to the jaw!”

JIVE: “That was a closed fist and you know it.”

GHEORGHE: “For once, Nick’s right, as the referee admonishes Daymon. Rocko with a knee to the gut of Hart, and drops him down with a DDT! He gets a quick two count from the first cover of the match, and yanks Hart up off the canvas, and just DRILLS him with a brainbuster! Hart looking groggy as Daymon has just dominated him so far.”

JIVE: “He must’ve tired himself out in the gym earlier.”

GHEORGHE: “If he did, he made a mistake, as Daymon is still having it all his own way. He picks Hart up again, looking for a suplex, INSIDE CRADLE!! Only a two count for Hart there as he surprised Daymon with an inside cradle after the brainbuster!”

JIVE: “See? Hart’s not dead yet.”

GHEORGHE: “Not yet maybe, but Daymon just took him down with a huge swinging neck breaker, and he’s going right back to the arm as he drives an elbow into the shoulder, locking in a variant of the top wrist lock on the canvas. Hart is trying to break the hold, but he’s also having to increase the pressure on himself to keep his shoulders off the canvas.”

JIVE: “I hate to say this, but if he doesn’t mount some offence soon, it’s going to be all over.”

GHEORGHE: “Daymon releasing the hold, but he only manages to get a two count. He picks Hart up again, and a hard whip into the corner followed up by that huge back-splash he calls the Ghost Train. He catches Hart as he comes out, hits a Northern Lights suplex… ONE… TWO… THREE!”

(SFX: bell rings)

JACOBS: “The winner of the first fall… ROCKO DAYMON!”

GHEORGHE: “And Rocko Daymon picks up the first fall, as the referee is checking on Shawn Hart following that nicely executed Northern Lights suplex. Daymon smartly chose to hold down the arm he hadn’t been working on, and got the reward.”

JIVE: “Shawn Hart must be missing a beat, Daymon is not this good.”

GHEORGHE: “We’ll see, as the referee is telling them both to go at it again. Daymon comes in, but Hart ducks under, laying in with several hard shots to the gut, and a big head-butt takes Rocko down! Hart trying to build some momentum as he hits a swinging neckbreaker for the two count, and locks on a sleeper-hold on the mat looking to get some strength back and wear Daymon down at the same time.”

JIVE: “Smart strategy. That’s the difference between these two - Hart’s a thinker. If Rocko had been smart, he wouldn’t have given the referee time to look over Hart. All he did was give him time to recover.”

GHEORGHE: “Possibly, but Rocko plays by the rules.”

JIVE: “Is that why he used a closed fist earlier?”

GHEORGHE: “You say that as if Shawn Hart has never used a closed fist. Everyone does it.”

JIVE: “Isn’t it strange though - when it’s one of your favorites, you never say anything, but when it’s someone I’m rooting for, they’re Hitler.”

GHEORGHE: “I’m not going to get involved in this discussion with you right now, because Rocko Daymon is trying to mount a come back, rolling onto a knee and connecting with an elbow to the gut. Manages to shift Hart’s grip and scores with another elbow, picking him up and dropping him with a sidewalk slam! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Daymon not looking frustrated though, as he picks Hart up. Irish whip, reversal… Hart telegraphs the back body drop… BRAIN ROCKER REDUX!!”

JIVE: “NO!”

GHEORGHE: “ONE… TWO… THREE!! ROCKO DAYMON WITH THE VICTORY!”

(SFX: Bell rings.)

JACOBS: “The winner of the second fall, and the match… ROCKO DAYMON!!”

GHEORGHE: “Rocko Daymon just utterly man handling ‘the Phenom’ tonight .. and something just didn’t seem right with Shawn Hart.”

JIVE: “He had an off night, Gheorghe .. jesus … can’t someone just have ONE off night?!”

GHEORGHE: “Woah, sorry, Nick .. didn’t think you’d get that testy!”

JIVE: “You’re the one getting all testy!”

GHEORGHE: “Someone get this guy some more .. water!”

JIVE: “Well .. that might be okay ..”

GHEORGHE: “We’ve got to take a break .. but when we get back … Larry Tact will take on Cameron Cruise … in a leather strap match!”

JIVE: “Not time for the mud-wrestling match?!”

GHEORGHE: “That’s soon, Nick!”

JIVE: “Not soon enough.”

(CUTTO: To the office of New ERA Vice President Juliet Marceau.. she is tapping a pencil on her fingernails, looking down underneath her desk.)

MARCEAU: "Is it almost done?"

VOICE FROM UNDERNEATH DESK: "If you hadn't pulled the clip off of your RJ-45, it wouldn't have been broken, ma'am."

MARCEAU: "Just get it fixed, IT boy.  I didn't ask for your life story."

(Another minute passes by with an occasional grunt from underneath the desk.)

MARCEAU: "I'm waiting."

(Another few moments pass.)

MARCEAU: "Listen, kid, I know for a fact that I can get your scraggly ass thrown outta... hee... re... ?"

(From underneath the desk comes a massive giant of a man.  Standing well over six feet call and covered in muscles, yet strangely dressed like he came from Revenge of the Nerds, with too-short black pants, too-wrinkled white shirt, half-undone tie, pocket protector, half-broken black-rimmed glasses and hair standing up in every direction.)

MAN:  "Excuse me, ma'am, but I don't think it'd be in your best interest.  Perhaps next time, instead of taking out your aggression on this simple machine which has done nothing more than serve you... you will request my presence in a timely manner and wait patiently for me to finish."

MARCEAU: "Er... what?"

MAN:  "... don't stress your brain by attempting to come up with another solution which will only cost me several more hours because you don't know the difference between Java and JavaScript... "

(He suddenly snorts and starts laughing obnoxiously.)

MARCEAU: "Ew.  Are you always this gross?"

(He stops laughing and leans toward her, inches from her face.)

MAN:  "Another comment like that... and you WILL... be Control... Alt... Deleted.  Now if you'll excuse me, my C source needs some serious debugging.  Not that I'd expect someone of your dwindling intellect to understand.  Just call me when the shiny box on the floor stops working again, ma'am."

(He begins to walk out, and then turns around.)

MAN:  "The name is Lombourgh.  Harold A. Lombourgh.  But you can call me HAL."

(He walks out to her still looking confused.  CUTTO: Commercial for NFW’s playoffs .. starting soon.)

( continued... )