JACOBS: “The following match … is a BLAST from the PAST battle royal … and is tonight’s THIRD MAIN EVENT!”
(CUEUP: ‘Tunak Tunak Tun’ by Daler Mehndi. The arena is filled with beautiful colors as they scan the crowd.)
JACOBS: “Introducing first … hailing from the end of the rainbow … he stands five foot six and weighs 190 pounds …… SPECTRUM!”
JIVE: “Formerly known as El Arco Iris.”
JULIUS: “Still gay.”
(CUEUP: ‘Sigur 1 (Vaka)’ by Sigur Ros. Peter File and Lilly come from behind the screen to the jeers of the crowd.)
JACOBS: “Hailing from New Haven, Connecticut … being led to the ring by Lilly … he stands six foot one and weighing 205 pounds ….. PETER FILE!”
GHEORGHE: “Peter File and Lilly … I’m still confused about their relationship..”
JIVE: “Lilly is File’s baby girl … duh.”
GHEORGHE: “Ok…”
(CUEUP: “Karma” by Diffuser. The crowd gets to their feet as “TACT” flashes across the big screen.)
JACOBS: “Introducing next … hailing from Manhattan, New York .. he stands six foot six and weighs 252 …. the former Heavyweight Champion of the World …… LARRY … TACT!”
JIVE: “The crowd not as into Tact as they have been in the past …”
JULIUS: “Tact doesn’t need them .. he only needs himself.”
JACOBS: “And finally …”
(CUEUP: “The Touch” by Stan Bush. The crowd begins to jeer heavily as Brandon Jacobs, Carlee Marx come out .. Behind them walks Jonathan Marx, the World Heavyweight championship on his shoulder.)
JACOBS: “Hailing from Princeton, New Jersey … standing six foot two … weighing 215 pounds .. he is a TWO TIME New ERA of Wrestling World Heavyweight champion ……… ‘GENTLEMAN’ …. JONATHAN … MARX!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JIVE: “Look at Marx flaunting the World Heavyweight championship in front of Larry Tact.”
JULIUS: “Tact might have won the title way back in Greensboro, but right now Marx is King of the Castle.”
GHEORGHE: “Everything is set .. Marx hands the title to the referee .. and now he sits back … AND WATCHES AS SPECTRUM FLIES ACROSS THE RING RIGHT ONTO LARRY TACT!”
JIVE: “Spectrum just tossing himself across the ring .. but Tact caught him!”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact caught Spectrum …. AND HE DUMPS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!”
JULIUS: “But Iris holds on!”
JIVE: “You mean Spectrum .. he goes by Spectrum now.”
GHEORGHE: “Tact looks over and sees Spectrum holding on, but he just walks away! AND IS MET WITH A RUNNING ELBOW TO THE FACE BY PETER FILE!”
JIVE: “But Tact’s not taking no shit!”
GHEORGHE: “AND TACT GRABS FILE’s HEAD … AND HE TOSSES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!”
JULIUS: “Both Iris AND File are now hanging onto the ropes from the outside!!”
JIVE: “Spectrum.”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx standing in the corner as he watches Tact go after Spectrum ……… WAIT! SPECTRUM LOCKS THE HEAD OF TACT WITH A HEADSCISSORS! AND SPECTRUM BRINGS TACT OVER THE TOP ROPE!”
JIVE: “Jonathan Marx hasn’t lifted a finger in this match … and all three of his opponents are on the outside!”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact and Spectrum are on the same side of the apron … and Spectrum trying to pry Tact’s hands off the top rope … Meanwhile Peter File has gotten back into the ring …”
JULIUS: “Marx still standing in the corner .. and he’s looking at his nails!”
GHEORGHE: “Tact elbowing Spectrum as both men are STILL on the outside of the ropes … AND HERE COMES FILE!”
JIVE: “WATCH OUT!”
GHEORGHE: “PETER FILE RUNS FULL SPEED INTO THE ROPES WHERE TACT AND SPECTRUM ARE …………”
(SFX: Crowd jeers!)
GHEORGHE: “TACT SIDESTEPS FILE AT THE LAST SECOND …….. BUT IRIS GETS CATAPULTED OFF THE APRON AND INTO THE GUARDRAIL!”
JULIUS: “And Iris is eliminated!”
JIVE: “It’s Spectrum!”
JULIUS: “Doesn’t fucking matter now, does it?”
GHEORGHE: “File though by running into Spectrum just knocked himself silly .. and Larry Tact is back in the ring!”
JIVE: “Marx better get ready for some action now!”
GHEORGHE: “Tact heading to the corner where the World Heavyweight champion is standing … BUT PETER FILE GRABS HIS LEG AND TRIPS HIM UP! Tact …. STUMBLES RIGHT INTO A MARX DDT!”
JULIUS: “Marx saw the opportunity and he grabbed it by the horns!”
GHEORGHE: “Peter File getting to his feet … BUT MARX IS UP BEFORE HIM! File turns …. AND GETS A BOOT TO THE GUT! Marx hooks the head …. GOURDBUSTER! File’s face slams into the mat … and the World Heavyweight champion is quickly back on his feet …”
(SFX: CROWD WOOOS!)
GHEORGHE: “File pulled back to his feet .. and now being slammed in the chest with the knife edged chops …”
JIVE: “AND FILE REVERSES!”
GHEORGHE: “But Marx grabs File …. SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE! Jonathan Marx grabs Peter File … sends him into the ropes ……. MARX GRABS FILE AND DROPS HIM DOWN ONTO THE TOP ROPE! File’s throat crashes against the top rope …. Marx with a kip up …. AND HE DUMPS PETER FILE OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE ARENA FLOOR!”
JIVE: “WOW! We are down to two already!”
JULIUS: “And … what a surprise … its down to Jonathan Marx and Larry Tact … again.”
GHEORGHE: “Marx shakes his head and turns …. AND WALKS RIGHT INTO A BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX BY LARRY TACT!”
JIVE: “Tact was waiting for the World Heavyweight champion to turn around .. and he nailed him!”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact brings Jonathan Marx to his feet … AND HE HITS ANOTHER BELLY TO BELLY! Jonathan Marx hits the mat hard … and he rolls to the outside!”
JULIUS: “Jonathan Marx doesn’t need to take this .. he can walk out of here right now .. and there’s nothing that Larry Tact can do about it!”
GHEORGHE: “Marx wants to rectify what took place in Greensboro .. he doesn’t want to allow Tact to hold two victories over his head in this type of match.”
JULIUS: “Who gives a shit about that? If I were Marx .. I’d just walk away. Let GOP and Tact fight themselves silly next RAUCOUS … weaken each other up so that Marx can waltz over the winner.”
GHEORGHE: “Marx talking to Brandon Jacobs … BUT LARRY TACT REACHES OVER THE TOP ROPE AND GRABS ONTO MARX’s HAIR!”
JIVE: “LOOK AT JACOBS and CARLEE! THEY’RE TRYING TO PULL TACT OUT OF THE RING!”
GHEORGHE: “Jacobs and Carlee Marx each have a hold of Tact’s arm … BUT TACT PULLS THEM BOTH UP! TACT TOSSES THEM BOTH IN THE RING!”
JIVE: “Oh no…”
GHEORGHE: “Brandon Jacobs gets to his feet ….. AND TACT CLOTHESLINES HIM OVER THE TOP ON THE OTHER SIDE!”
JULIUS: “They shouldn’t have gotten involved .. you don’t want to piss off Tact more than he already is.”
GHEORGHE: “Tact turns .. AND CARLEE MARX IS BACKING HERSELF IN THE CORNER!”
JIVE: “You can’t hit a woman!”
GHEORGHE: “Carlee Marx is no woman, Jive…”
JIVE: “I’ve been saying that since the beginning…”
GHEORGHE: “Tact closing in ……. BUT JONATHAN MARX FROM BEHIND WITH A HIGH KNEE TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Carlee Marx rushes out of the corner as Tact goes crashing into it!”
JIVE: “That distraction gave Marx enough time to get back in the ring and take advantage of Larry Tact .. pure genius!”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx spins Larry Tact around .. and now he is driving the boots into the midsection! Larry Tact being driven to the mat … and now Marx follows it up with vicious knees to the head! Marx like a mad man here … and he could very well knock Tact unconscious!”
JULIUS: “It’d make it much easier to toss him over the top..”
GHEORGHE: “Marx walks out of the corner to the middle of the ring … AND HE TURNS AND CHARGES BACK IN!”
(SFX: Crowd groans! .. A loud scream is heard.)
GHEORGHE: “AND MARX WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE RIGHT BETWEEN THE LEGS OF LARRY TACT!”
JIVE: “Now THAT will make any grown man scream.”
GHEORGHE: “Unless you’re MWG..”
JIVE: “I said man, Gheorghe.”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx drags Tact out of the corner .. and he’s applying a Boston Crab in the middle of the ring!”
JULIUS: “Marx continuing to work over Larry Tact .. he’s not taking any chances in this match. I still think he should just be gone … but he’s staying .. and he’s making Tact pay.”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact in a world of pain .. not only have his family jewels been worked over .. but now his lower back is being placed under a lot of pressure.”
JIVE: “Jonathan Marx is a cunning wrestler .. after all, he’s New ERA’s only two time World Heavyweight champion.”
GHEORGHE: “Marx releases the Boston Crab .. and he continues to work over the back as he drops the elbow right into the small of it. Marx kips up .. and … HE’s TELLING JACOBS TO TOSS HIM THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!”
JULIUS: “There are no rules in a battle royal besides the elimination ones … so Marx has every right to use whatever he can get his hands on!”
GHEORGHE: “Jacobs tosses in the title … AND MARX SLAMS IT INTO THE LOWER BACK OF TACT! AGAIN! Jonathan Marx trying to keep Tact on the mat … permanently!”
JIVE: “Marx doesn’t mess around, Gheorghe. He is sending a message .. not only to Tact, but to the Phantom Republican.. that World Heavyweight championship is going to stay around his waist for a long, long time.”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx placing the World Heavyweight championship in the middle of the ring .. and he’s bringing Tact to his feet …”
JULIUS: “Toss him over! You’ve got him now.”
GHEORGHE: “Marx has Tact up … Marx placing his head in between Tact’s arm and waist ….. NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX ONTO THE CHAMPIONSHIP! Marx is up .. and he grabs the championship ..”
JIVE: “Is he leaving the match?!”
GHEORGHE: “No … he’s .. Jonathan Marx is climbing the turnbuckle pad! He is holding the World Heavyweight Championship in the air!”
JIVE: “He hasn’t won yet!”
GHEORGHE: “And now … Marx … HE’s TURNING AROUND!”
JULIUS: “Marx hasn’t won yet .. but he also decided he hasn’t finished with Tact!”
GHEORGHE: “JONATHAN MARX POINTS AT LARRY TACT ………. AND HE FLIES OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH THE TITLE!”
JIVE: “NOOO!!”
GHEORGHE: “TACT PUT UP THE FOOT! MARX GETS THE TITLE RIGHT BACK IN HIS FACE!”
JULIUS: “Tact with a desperation move … WOW.”
GHEORGHE: “Marx was coming off to slam the championship into Tact’s torso .. but Tact got the boot up .. and nailed the title back into Marx’s face! Both men are on the mat!”
JIVE: “It could be hours before this thing ends!”
GHEORGHE: “Carlee Marx and Brandon Jacobs on the outside banging on the ring apron trying to get Marx up … but I think he’s knocked himself out! Larry Tact is still on the mat … and now I have no clue how this match is going to turn out!”
JULIUS: “Marx looked to be sailing smoothly to victory .. but Tact just took the wind out of his sails.”
GHEORGHE: “This is a far cry from nearly three years ago when Larry Tact was in control of Marx when they were alone in the ring … Marx had control .. and looked like he was well on his way to victory … but now I just don’t know!”
JIVE: “Tell Jacobs to break out the time machine! Let’s go to Plan B before Plan A goes to hell!”
GHEORGHE: “Oh stop it .. there was no time mach… WAIT! JONATHAN MARX IS MOVING! MARX IS ON HIS STOMACH CRAWLING TO THE ROPES!”
JULIUS: “That’s the heart of a champion, Gheorghe! He was robbed by Shawn Hart .. and he made Hart pay … he was robbed by Tact in Greensboro .. and now he’s going to make Tact pay!”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx … HE’s GOT THE ROPES! MARX IS GETTING TO HIS FEET!”
JIVE: “Nothing can stop Marx now .. he’s a man on a mission.”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx is up … AND HE GRABS ONTO LARRY TACT! MARX …… MY GOD HE JUST TOSSED LARRY TACT OVER THE TOP ROPE!”
JULIUS: “MARX HAS DONE IT!”
JIVE: “TACT IS HOLDING ONTO THE ROPES!”
GHEORGHE: “MARX FELL TO HIS KNEES … HE THINKS HE’s WON THIS THING!”
JIVE: “But Larry Tact is still on the apron! Tact fell to the apron behind him!”
GHEORGHE: “Brandon Jacobs and Carlee Marx are yelling at the World Heavyweight champion to turn around and finish off Tact … but I don’t think Marx can hear them! The fans are on their feet ….. AND MARX’s FOOT JUST BRUSHED AGAINST TACT! MARX SPINS AROUND …. AND HE DIVES THROUGH THE BOTTOM ROPE TRYING TO PUSH TACT OFF THE APRON!”
JULIUS: “This could have gotten really ugly if Marx had gotten to his feet and was pulled out by Tact … but Marx now straddling the bottom rope trying to force Tact off the apron to the arena floor.”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact has a grip on the bottom rope .. AND MARX SLAMMING THE FISTS INTO TACT’s FACE! JONATHAN MARX NOW CHOKING THE FORMER WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…..”
JIVE: “TACT JUST PULLED MARX OUT! MARX IS ON THE ARENA FLOOR!”
GHEORGHE: “Marx went through the bottom ropes … so he’s not eliminated … BUT THIS ALLOWS TACT TO ROLL BACK INTO THE RING!”
JULIUS: “Jonathan Marx gets back on his feet .. and he was so close to ending this thing!”
GHEORGHE: “Marx slides back into the ring .. AND HE DROPS THE ELB… NO! TACT BLOCKED THE ELBOW DROP ….. WITH THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!”
JIVE: “Marx could have broken his elbow!”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx rolls to the ropes … and NOW LARRY TACT IS GETTING TO HIS FEET! TACT HAS THE TITLE IN HIS HANDS ……. AND HE RAISES IT ABOVE HIS HEAD TO SMASH IT OVER MARX!”
JULIUS: “Someone stop this! The Championship is going to be tainted with the Champion’s blood!”
GHEORGHE: “TACT … NO! MARX WITH A THUMB TO THE EYE ….. AND MARX WI… NO!! TACT MANAGES TO BLOCK THE RIGHT HAND …….. KICKSWING DDT ONTO THE CHAMPIONSHIP!!! MARX IS DOWN! TACT IS DOWN!”
JULIUS: “But your blood pressure is up!”
GHEORGHE: “Both of these men have fought tooth and nail thus far … and you can see the carnage they are leaving in the ring as BOTH men are lying on the mat .. Tact is on his back … Marx on his stomach…”
JIVE: “This match could go all night the way these two are slugging it out ..”
JULIUS: “I hope not .. I got a date tonight.”
JIVE: “With Eduardo?”
JULIUS: “No .. don’t worry, Jive .. I’m not invading your territory.”
GHEORGHE: “You two stop it ..”
(SFX: CROWD EXPLODES!)
GHEORGHE: “WAIT!! LARRY TACT IS MOVING! TACT SAT UP!”
JIVE: “This match is over if Tact gets to his feet!”
GHEORGHE: “AND TACT IS GETTING TO HIS FEET!”
JIVE: “Ok.. well this match is over once he picks up Marx and dumps him over the top rope..”
JULIUS: “Duh.”
GHEORGHE: “LARRY TACT IS ON HIS FEET ….. AND HE GRABS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP ….. AND TACT WITH THE TITLE HIGH OVER HIS HEAD!”
JIVE: “But this isn’t for the championship, Gheorghe. Tact won’t win the championship tonight …”
GHEORGHE: “He’s making a statement, Nick .. Larry Tact is telling the entire world that he will one day soon be wearing that championship around his waist..”
JULIUS: “MARX IS STIRRING!”
GHEORGHE: “LARRY TACT SEES MARX MOVING … AND HE DROPS THE TITLE.. MARX BROUGHT UP TO HIS FEET …. AND HE DUCKS A CLOTHESLINE!”
JIVE: “Tact moving slow .. and Marx was able to get underneath the clothesline at the last second…and now he’s driving those fists into the face of Tact!”
GHEORGHE: “Marx with fist after fist hitting the mark … AND HE IS BACKING TACT UP INTO THE ROPES! JONATHAN MARX HAS TACT AGAINST THE ROPES!”
JULIUS: “This is it! I can feel it!”
GHEORGHE: “JONATHAN MARX REACHES BACK AND LETS A HUGE RIGHT LOOSE….”
(SFX: CROWD POPS HUGE~!)
GHEORGHE: “TACT DUCKS! MARX SPINS AROUND …………….. AND TACT HOOKS HIM ……………. URANAGE SUPLEX!!! THE HUMBLING …… AND HE SENDS MARX FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!! MY GOD LARRY TACT HAS WON IT AGAIN!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JACOBS: “The winner of this match …. and the man who will face the Phantom Republican next RAUCOUS for a New ERA of Wrestling World Heavyweight championship shot …….”
(CUEUP: “Karma” by Diffuser.)
JACOBS: “LARRY ……… TACT!”
GHEORGHE: “MARX WAS SO CLOSE! SO CLOSE!”
JULIUS: “We’ve just watched history repeat itself … and it still stings as much as it did the first time.”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact lying on the mat … the World Heavyweight championship inches from his head …. WHAT A MATCH!”
JIVE: “Carlee Marx and Brandon Jacobs have rushed over to make sure that Jonathan Marx is okay … but you know damn well he isn’t!”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentleman … we are out of time … thank you for tuning into New ERA’s three year anniversary show …. JOIN US NEXT TIME!”
