Cyrus O'Haire in:
Crazy Little Thing Called Love

The door opens up into the O'Haire residence, deep in the heart of Georgia. The sound of Queen's "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" plays softly, an obvious editing effect. However, the sound of whistling to the song is heard as the camera moves inside the house further, focusing on the doorway to the basement. As the camera moves forward, the whistling gets louder, and more defined. Cyrus O'Haire is the man that's whistling, but it sounds like it's behind a mask or a wall of some sort.

As the camera moves down the stairs, a faint light can be seen from over in the let corner of the basement. The edited song fades out, giving way for the sound of Cyrus' ear buds to take over, keeping along with the song. As Cyrus looks over his shoulder, noticing the camera, he scoffs slightly and walks to an iPod base, where he plugs in his iPod, now causing the music to be spread out across the room and not just into his ears. The camera follows Cyrus back to his perch behind a workshop table.

The camera pans around the dark, musky basement. The windows have cobwebs, behind the cobwebs are black boards blocking out the sunlight that was above ground. As the camera's light pans over the dust and different toys and accessories, a rat can be seen perched on the back of a couch, staring at the camera. The camera pans back to Cyrus, walking up and over his shoulder. As the camera pans down to Cyrus' hand, something catches the cameraman's eye and causes him to snap back to it. That 'something'?

A woman's head.

The volume of the music lowers a bit, as the camera zooms in on the head. OPW and WAWF fans would recognize the head as Pandora, aka Alexia Prescott-O'Haire. The camera sits on the woman's face for a time.

Alexia Prescott-O'Haire's Head: "Cyrus, you do know that what you're doing is just solidifying my reason for divorcing you in the first place, right?"

The woman's mouth went from a frightened face, to a calm, soft spoken speech, almost in an instant. Cyrus dropped the saw. As he looked down at his hands, he pushed an arm forward and put his elbows into a pool of blood. He put his hands under his chin and begin to speak at the head.

Cyrus O'Haire: "Alexia, you're dead. Do you really think I care what you say about what I'm doing anymore?"

The woman rolled her eyes.

APO Head: "I don't really think you care what I said BEFORE you killed me. Oh, and by the way, fucker, that hurt."

Cyrus O'Haire: "What, Alexia? Did you really think being electrocuted felt good?"

APO Head: "No, not really. But did you have to take me out JUST before I died and cut off my hand?"

Cyrus O'Haire: "I wanted my ring back, darling. That's all. Nothing personal."

APO Head: "You could've asked, you dumb shit."

Cyrus O'Haire: "Actually, your system was pretty well fried. After all, you did start pissing blood before I pulled you out of there."

APO Head: "Ah. Well... still, it hurt."

Cyrus laughed.

Cyrus O'Haire: "Don't worry, toots. You're not feelin' much of anything anymore."

APO Head: "What about our kid, hm? You're obviously not suited to raise him. I'm obviously not suited. Who do you think is going to look after our ragamuffin?"

Cyrus tapped his chin.

Cyrus O'Haire: "Ah... I suppose I didn't think about that..."

APO Head: "That's your problem, Rus. You never think things through."

Cyrus O'Haire: "Hey. I'm disposing of your body, that's pretty thorough. I just... miss details here and there."

APO Head: "It's fine. I didn't put it past you that'd you come and do this shit, so I told Xavier to look after him."

Cyrus O'Haire: "Are you trying to say that you're 'a head' of the game?"

The head rolls her eyes again.

APO Head: "Not funny. You know, I should figure out a way to get you caught."

Cyrus O'Haire: "Please, toots. You and I both know that I'm the only one that can hear you. Besides, what're they going to do? Put me in another institution? Ha, we both know what good that'll do."

The look on her face is one of those 'Yeah, good point' looks.

APO Head: "Well, don't think I'm not going to let you 'live' this one down."

Cyrus O'Haire: "That's why I did it. Tell death do us part takes on a whole new meaning, don't it?"

The head chuckles.

APO Head: "Your humor won me over."

Cyrus grinned.

Cyrus O'Haire: "Your tits won me over."

APO Head: "Oh, shut up. You're talking to a dead woman, you necrophiliac."

Cyrus O'Haire: "Hey, I wonder..."

APO Head: "Don't even try it, fucker. I couldn't get off when I was alive, what makes you think you could get me off when I'm dead?"

Cyrus laughed.

Cyrus O'Haire: "What are you going to do? Head butt me off of you? Besides, I was only kidding. I may be psychotic, but I'm not a dead body fucker."

The woman scanned over her body parts, shaking her head.

APO Head: "What in the hell are you doing, anyways?"

Cyrus sat up, looking over his 'handy work'.

Cyrus O'Haire: "Well, I'm using this saw to tare all of your flesh off of the bone. Then I'm going to grind it up and feed it to the dog."

Alexia pouts her lip.

APO Head: "Chubbers?!"

Cyrus O'Haire: "No... Chubbers bought the farm. Chipper, my new dog."

APO Head: "I swear, you loved the Braves more than me."

Cyrus O'Haire: "Impossible. I didn't kill them so they'd haunt me the rest of my life, did I?"

She gets that 'You're right...' look on her face again.

APO Head: "Well... hurry up. I'm getting tired of looking at my beautiful bo-... hey, wait a minute. Where's my T and A?"

Cyrus laughs. He reaches under the table.

Cyrus O'Haire: "Alright, you caught me."

He brings his hand up, plopping her breasts and ass on the counter.

APO Head: "Pervert."

Cyrus runs his hand over her nipple.

Cyrus O'Haire: "Can you feel that?"

APO Head: "Nope."

Cyrus O'Haire: "Good."

Cyrus grabs onto the nipple with his index finger and thumb, and begins to twist.

APO Head: "What in the hell are you doing?"

Cyrus O'Haire: "Experimenting..."

He twists...and twists... and pulls... and pulls... until the nipple rips off of the areola.

APO Head: "Oh my god, you're disgusting, Cyrus."

Cyrus O'Haire: "Hey. You know I've always wanted to try that."

APO Head: "I'm glad I could be another first for you."

Cyrus O'Haire: "You're my first murder, too. You know that?"

APO Head: "What about that doctor you threw out the window?"

Cyrus O'Haire: "Air mattress below the window. Nothing happened."

The head sighs.

APO Head: "Well, thank you... I guess. Just... get done with the disposing of the body details."

Cyrus laughs.

Cyrus O'Haire: "Fine. Shut up so I can concentrate."

APO Head: "Fine."

She looked at Cyrus, and made a kissy face at him, before returning to the scared and frightened face before. Cyrus shook his head, chuckling, and picked up the saw.

Cyrus O'Haire: "Crazy little thing called love..."

He sang along with the music, and drove the saw back into the tanned flesh of his dead wife. As the camera panned back, the music became louder. When the camera faded out, it timed perfectly with the end of the song.