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We see Ricky Simms and Henry Lesher side by side, each wearing a tuxedo as we get set to discover the winners of this year's awards in what was a banner year for AW. Ricky Simms - Welcome to the 2007 awards. We're jumping the gun and labeling these for next year as we believe these are the wrestlers to watch heading into next year. Each wrestler will receive a statue and an award of five thousand dollars for each award won. I guess the only question remaining is what award we give out first tonight. The best place to start for me is the ugliest wrestler. I mean, we have some ugly wrestlers in this company. Henry Lesher - If we had an ugly announcer award, you would have won by a landslide. Ricky Simms - Very funny. Let's see the nomination of tonight's winner. We see Parker Davis on the screen that sits between Ricky and Henry. Parker - Could this be any less of a surprise? I nominate that prick, De'Anton Maybon. Not just the ugliest guy in Anarchy, also the ugliest guy in the modern world. The guy's face is a crime against nature.
Ricky Simms - There were other deserving nominations, but Maybon's complete lack of respect for his face combined with the fact he is just that damned ugly, he gets the nod here. Henry Lesher - Kosmic Kitty should have won this award, you know. Ricky Simms - That's mean. Henry Lesher - And accurate. Ricky Simms - Now, where do we go from the ugliest? We go to the best looking. Lesher stands and bows. Ricky Simms - You can sit down. You never got a vote. Henry Lesher - Ungrateful pricks, all of you. Ricky Simms - Let's get to the nomination. We open on a large black stage. There are
golden lights shining down as we pull up to a large transparent
podium. Stood in a dazzling silver gown Hoshi looks at all the cards
in front of her.
Henry Lesher - *smiling* I actually agree with Hoshi! Ricky Simms - The girls and guys might both appreciate this award, depending on which side of the plate you hit from. Henry Lesher - People wonder how your children were conceived, you know. Ricky Simms - Oh, give it up Doc. Hey, what was your best memory of the year? Henry Lesher - Watching the place clear out about six months ago. It's like everyone figured out the Skanes family sucked at once. It was great. Ricky Simms - Why do I ever try to be decent? Let's get to the top face award. Henry Lesher - My favorite people. {The camera opens up in Tommy Purr's front
doorway as he opens the door to a resounding knock. Tommy is
startled to discover Kira Yakamoto standing there in all her glory,
a basket of baked goodies in her hand. She smiles.}
Henry Lesher - I'm losing my will to live. Ricky Simms - Hoshi proved this year that she was the reliable one to the fans and even people who don't like her admit she is the top face around. Maybe this coming year will see her win the big title. Henry Lesher - Not bloody likely. Ricky Simms - Did you have a good Christmas? Henry Lesher - I didn't have to watch Hoshi wrestle, so it was pretty good. Ricky Simms - 'Tis the season. Let's get to the next award then. We've seen the top face. Now let's see the top heel. In the EOS Locker room Moose sits on a leather
couch with a cooler of beer beside him. On his lap sits a stack of
ballots for the Anarchy Wrestling Year End Awards.
Ricky Simms - The beauty of this show is the fact that again, people who don't like each other, vote for each other. Henry Lesher - Ryan is just hated because people are jealous of him. Ricky Simms - Well, he cheats a lot. Henry Lesher - So does Brad Pitt and everyone loves him. I hear he doesn't even shower. Ricky Simms - Some weeks, neither do you. Henry Lesher - You have the wit of a mongoloid monkey. Ricky Simms - *sighs* You know, I have had my bad weeks and my good weeks at ringside watching the action. Nevertheless, I have seen some wrestlers really step up their game heading into 2007. Henry Lesher - These are the 2006 awards. Why does it say 2007? Ricky Simms - I explained that at the start. We are awarding into next year for what we saw this year. Henry Lesher - You explained it? I guess I wasn't listening. Ricky Simms - Anyhow, let's get to the most improved wrestler of the year. Looking in we see Max sitting in a chair. He
has his hand on his chin as he looks over a piece of paper.
Ricky Simms - I agree with this one for Hoshi as well. Henry Lesher - When you're crap, it's easy to improve. She's still awful. Ricky Simms - She won a lot of big matches and did well when the pressure was on. Henry Lesher - And she's a complete loser. No one cares. It's still 2006. Ricky Simms - Look, they are the 2007 awards, awarding effort as we look into the new year. Henry Lesher - It's 2006. Ricky Simms - Oh, go home. Now, on to the next award... Henry Lesher - Of 2006. Ricky Simms - Some wrestlers are no longer with the company and some have taken some time off for whatever reason. There are a lot of people who could win the award of most missed wrestler heading into the new year. Henry Lesher - It's 2006. Ricky Simms - Let's see the nomination. In the EOS Locker room Moose sits on a leather
couch with a cooler of beer beside him. On his lap sits a stack of
ballots for the Anarchy Wrestling Year End Awards.
Ricky Simms - Dizz was always at the top of the ladder. He fought through tough odds in the CWA, in the GWO and in AW as well. He is one of the true legends in this business. Henry Lesher - Up until 2006, yes. Ricky Simms - Let it go. Henry Lesher - I miss Dizz a bit I guess, though Q gets my vote. Ricky Simms - I would go with Freak. Henry Lesher - I know you would. Ricky Simms - Anyways, we have seen some great winners so far and the next nomination is for match of the year. This really was a tough call as we had a lot of great matches. Henry Lesher - If you call them that. {The Masked Jobber is sitting on a curb
outside, swinging his feet. He looks sad and alone. Sarah Darling
walks behind him and sits down next to him, putting her arm around
him.}
Ricky Simms - That match was really a fantastic example of what it's like when so many wrestlers bring their best effort on any given night. Henry Lesher - Well, you have Nameless, Tommy Purr and Dwayne Kingston in there, so I agree with that which kind of surprises me. Ricky Simms - It was a great match on a card that started and ended a lot of feuds. Henry Lesher - We need more of that. We need a night dedicated to ending Hoshi. Ricky Simms - Speaking of Hoshi, we have reached the award for top diva in AW. Henry Lesher - God no. I hope these awards are as rewarding as being featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Ricky Simms - Just be quiet. De'Anton Maybon's hotel room, in the heart of
Seattle. Why's he in Seattle? I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.
Maybon turns to the camera.
Henry Lesher - I am in hell. Ricky Simms - But it was your buddy Maybon there who helped put her over the top. Henry Lesher - He may not be as great as I previously stated he was. Ricky Simms - Hoshi had quite the year. Henry Lesher - Rated R needs to put her through the guard railing face first. Ricky Simms - How many awards does Ryan have? Henry Lesher - Oh shut up. It's 2006. Ricky Simms - Speaking of people not getting along, let's take a peek at the feud of the year nomination. We see The Freak, Himself on the screen between Ricky and Lesher. Freak: This shall be short and sweet. Rated R vs. RazorBlade...your feud didn't start this year, but it sure as hell ended this year, if what I heard was correct. If nothing else, you made me more money than an Asian hooker at a ComicCon with that final match, and for that, you deserve a lot more than a nomination. Alas...merry Christmas...I am cheap...
Henry Lesher - I can agree with this one actually. Ricky Simms - Freak's tournament featured some great wrestling. I figure AW will bring it out as a DVD in the new year. Henry Lesher - Kingston didn't believe it was fair. Ricky Simms - Oh not that again. Henry Lesher - Myst won it, so that proves it wasn't much of a tournament. Ricky Simms - Who did she beat in the final? Henry Lesher - Everyone has to get lucky once. Ricky Simms - Fans, as we are on the eve of Battle of the Warriors 2007 and we are jumping the gun into an exciting new year with these awards dedicated to the future here, we have to look at who really was the best wrestler in AW. Henry Lesher - Rated R, Tommy Purr, De'Anton Maybon... Ricky Simms - Myst, Razor, The Nameless, Halloween Jack and this man... {Tommy Purr is seen walking around the halls of
the AW headquarters ... dressed in white dress shirt and black
slacks, Tommy, for some reason, is parading around barefoot. Tommy
approaches a soda machine and ends up running into Crystal Braun.} Ricky Simms - I have the utmost respect for Moose. Henry Lesher - I will admit that he is a decent pick and the number 2007 might indicate he is ready to repeat as the award winner in the new year, though Rated R is poised to take this award in my opinion. Ricky Simms - Fans, we want to thank you for watching us over the past year, seeing us through some great times and lean times. We want to extend our heartfelt thanks to all who helped make this company so strong in 2006 and we look forward to another solid year. It's the most talented roster around and I feel that AW will be on top for a very long time. Henry Lesher - Or at least for the next two weeks until UCW beats the hell out of us all. Ricky Simms - *rolls his eyes* Always the optimist, Doc. Henry Lesher - Damned straight, I have wanted someone to beat the hell out of this company for a long time now. Ricky Simms - Well, fans, thanks for watching and we look to 2007 as another great year on the horizon. Henry Lesher - But we are still in 2006. Ricky Simms - For a few more hours, yes. Henry Lesher - Whatever, I need a drink. Ricky Simms - No argument there. Good night and Happy New Year everybody! We then fade to black on 2006. |