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[Promo - The Undeniable Words #6, 02/15/09] I confess to being a little disappointed, ladies and gentlemen. I woke up nice and early this morning- 5AM, no less- with the explicit intention of taking a few hours out of my ridiculously busy schedule to view the promos of my opponents this week, to study them in-depth, and to prepare an Undeniable Words segment that would counteract them to the best of my ability. I was actually looking quite forward to it. Already had a few witty comebacks boiled up in my head. But it seems neither of my worthy 'opponents' have the time on their hands to have responded to any of my words. Funny. I mean, you'd expect that I'd have gotten an absolute gobful in retaliation given that Famine seems to have some major issue with me coming for that Tag Team Championship, and that Chad... well, Chad's been pissed off over being cock-blocked for the last six years. I was honestly expecting to have to deal with a deluge of insults and challenges. But no, it seems like my worthy opponents have better things to do. Famine of the Vile is God knows where right now, and as for Chad... well, he seems to be too busy ranting and raving about the latest lame conspiracy theory and trying to get Jonathyn Brown voted out of office than to actually focus on what happens. I swear, are these douchebags trying to be humiliated? Because they're going the right way about it. Here's the news, boys, just because it's a two-on-one doesn't mean victory is guaranteed. I'm still a very lethal contender in my own right, and if you two don't stop dicking around and actually prepare for this thing, I could very well beat you. And wouldn't that be oh-so-humiliating for you two peons? So do yourself a favor. Famine, get your ugly mug in front of a camera, and Chad, stop jacking off to a poster of Jonathyn Brown lamenting about why he never loved you, and focus on what's important. If you still have the time. Cause you've got, like a day and a half, and I've got quite the head-start on you. Time's a-wasting, boys. But not to worry, ladies and gentlemen. I still have a lot to say, so I don't even need material from these two losers. See, Chad's pretty much a walking bank of insult material, and it just so happens that his latest little campaign to get rid of Jonathyn and bring corruption to the XWF has provided me with a bank of information. So as a change of pace, I'm going to spend a little time today discussing Chad's political vision of the future of the XWF- and why it quite possibly sucks so much that it makes Lady GaGa look like a nun. So we all know the situation. Jonathyn Brown's very job is at stake for this Turning Point PPV. If the votes don't go JB's way, he's out. Now usually I don't even waste my time getting involved in these little political squabbles- I'm here to fight, not to play commander-in-chief- but recently it seems to me that I have a legitimate reason to be concerned as to how this election turns out. You see, Chad wants Jonathyn out. Which automatically means I want JB in. Now some might say that's being really petty, and some would say it's a move of self-preservation as, let's face it, my time under JB's been quite prosperous. Honest truth of the matter is, I think the power vacuum that'd open with Jonathyn out would make it all too easy for Chad to either take control or install a puppet leader- and make no mistake, that is what Chad will do. As far as I am concerned, either move would be absolutely catastrophic for the X-Treme Wrestling Federation, and would be likely to end in its destruction. All you need to do is look at the XWF's past to realise this. Did you know that this is not the first time Jonathyn's ownership of the XWF is at stake? There have, in fact, been many occasions where Jonathyn has been out of power. Do you know what happened each and every other time? The place collapsed. In 2001, there was a collapse. In 2002, there was a collapse. In 2004, Jonathyn was forced out, and instead Kitten and Mike X took over the place- and the result was an unprecedented amount of corruption. Rules were literally changed to make their hand-picked enforcers winners. In the end, I had to instigate a rebellion and shut the place down. And do you want to know who picked up the pieces? That's right. Jonathyn Brown. Then Shane Carver seized power! And we all know what that led to- that's right, the formation of the Black Order, again a level of unprecedented corruption, fear and terror running over the XWF. It took an army to stop them... and who had to put the pieces back together again? Jonathyn Brown. And then... oh, and then, ladies and gentlemen, I can refer you to the time Hawaiian Hardhead was owner. Remember that? Jesus, I can't even remember a time the federation was in that much peril. It was an absolute sloppy mess. Ratings skydived. Our shows fell apart. Even our website turned to crap! Again, who had to put everything back together? Yep. Jonathyn Brown. The fact of the matter is, for all of Chad's bleating on about how it's so unfair with Jonathyn in charge, this federation cannot survive without him. There's only one man who's proven that he's up to the task of running this mammoth organization, and it's JB. That is one of the main reasons we need to see him still in charge. Because nobody else is up to the task. Even your textbook rebels realise this. The fact of the matter is this- Chad is a rebel without a clue. You know it and I know it. His 'arguments' for installing a new leadership in the XWF are the same paper-thin complaints that we've had to endure from this guttersnipe for years. It's stale, it's old, and it's totally disproven. While Chad bitched about nobody but the 'favorites' getting shots, Lee Stone went from midcarder to Universal Champion. While Chad snivelled about 'favoritism', KoRe of all people became Universal Champion. If that didn't disprove the theory right there, nothing will. But there's more, ladies and gentlemen. There is so much more I can say to show you all just how screwed up Chad's logic really is. Stay tuned, and I will personally torpedo Chad's visions with reality. |