So, I’m back to where I started Awo yet again. This time I’m all by my lonesome no Kira to take care of me.

Those where times where I thought I was alive, nothing much keeps me alive but fighting. The Butchering of another in arms, making sure they don’t escape. But… I had times where I wished I didn’t live.

At this point in my life, I'm thoroughly convinced there’s no such thing as 'God'. If there is, he's just as mean and spiteful as those who I see everyday staring back at me.

My life was going as planned, beautiful girl. The best record deal a guy who is an experimental musician a person can be. So why the hell did " God " The guy who created my own flesh and blood. The woman and man I give and dub the names Mother and Father take such the perfect thing away form me.

In the current feel as what I've had. I don't remember much not to say I've forgotten the sweet sweet girl. Just that the memory produces to much.

I had conducted myself. I had been sitting in front of the sink thinking, thinking about all that Matters most. My eyes concealed this deathly gaze as my eyes parted with the double inside the mirror that held no regard for my well-being.

Among the ground, a light filled the floor it passed over the world that I had been living in. In Realistic Logic, the light filling my world came form the protruding door that stepped to challenge me if I wanted or needed escape, closure form the world outside.

" This is the end.. The End.. Damn you.. "

The world had become a friend. The fame that I had received over the years depleted just after the year progressed. I didn’t care sliver spoons where meant to be taken at the sometime as given.

Standing there reminded me how I became such a suicidal bitch anyway; the lone standing ovation I got was for being such an unusual person. I got my reward now hand me my prize on a sliver platter, which heart of mine died in such a short time.

Looking for my eyes I searched under the surface of the subsume of my existence, studying facial depth and broad emotion that I had none of. Brushing my arms with the soaking hands, warmth sub doing my ever breath, heat being generated to tend my wounds. Busted hands under the sink line the dish holding the ivory colored soap that captured red color form my cuts.

” Brawl For all “

Sin with out the known time. I thought about the whole ordeal I punched a window, broke my hand and I’m still standing right here. The dusty cupboards of this house, the dusty carpet which rock stars boots lay upon. I have no life such as becoming something that I’m not.

Sin with out the known time. I thought about the whole ordeal I punched a window, broke my hand and I’m still standing right here. The dusty cupboards of this house, the dusty carpet which rock stars boots lay upon. I have no life such as becoming something that I’m not.

Every once of blood I dropped, I dropped for you. Ever tear I shed, I dropped for you. But you disappeared left me in this broken shell that I’m immune to live in communication that I lost, the soap box that you stomped on as if we where kids. The gum that you stuck with the needle of what I can’t even repent.

I back up within a corner, these shadows haunting. Attacking me for no reason at all but to consume me. I can’t remember… I think I did do something to deserve this.

Don’t you lecture me? Turning away form the sick sink I stood at I reminded myself I was all in my head.

Not that I was demented I had other things in mind, I broke a nail severed almost a finger once. But these times wrestling was the doorway to a whole new universe that I had yet to tame.

As Untamable that I appear I’ve been tamed before. Never to be again.

Such as this noise that I make with my lips, a girls soft tender kiss before I was to blast her across the wall.