Much like how all of their meetings began in the past, Ira addresses the table with bitter respite.

“Who summoned us this time?” He demands an answer while eyeing Gula, whom has always had a penchant for indulgence. “Has Gula felt the need to showcase mediocrity again?”

“Whatever the reason we’re gathered, Ira,” Luxuria quickly chimed back across the table. “I can imagine it wasn’t to give you a channel to vent your eternally pertinent frustrations. So let’s just begin, shall we?”

“We must wait for Acedia,” Gula said quietly, not sure if he should interrupt the exchange between Ira and Luxuria so swiftly. “I imagine he’ll be arriving shortly.”

But Invidia did not take kindly to Gula’s suggestion. “And why should we do that? Because we tell him to be here on-time and he always CHOOSES to make a late arrival?”

“We wait because this is what we are; to reach a conclusion without him would not be possible, Invidia. We wait because we must.”

All the mouths around the table quickly drown out to silence as Superbia takes a stand from his seat. As always, his patience has worn thin and he’s decided to use his position at the head of the table to gather their attentions.

“This is not a new process; gentle...men, so let’s not drag it out anymore than we must.” He references to the table, where a bowl of pretzels appears at the center. “And feel free to help yourself to the snacks provided.”

Of course, Gula finishes the bowl before Acedia even arrives.

Invidia glanced at Superbia with crooked eyes. Oh how he longed to sit at the top of the table, if only just once, but deep inside he must know that the others would never take his lead. Nope, they’d rather be plagued by the jealousy Invidia took pride in weaving than listen to his ideas (Ideas that Invidia knows are better than that of the Morning Star’s).

“Is there a matter you’d like to address me with, Invidia?” Superbia asked, catching the glance he happened to make.

Invidia cowered in his seat and quietly said “no,” knowing that his charisma would never match up to Superbia’s and the committee is as good as his.

“Alright then. So we wait.”

Superbia begins speaking to Luxuria about expressions and emotions as Invidia scoffs towards him. While it isn’t acknowledged by whom it was aimed at, someone else took notice to Invidia’s frustrations.

“Pompous prick.” Avaritia whispers into Invidia’s ears. “Think’s he’s so great. You know, if entities like you or I were placed in the driver’s seat, there would be a lot more progress and a lot less of these stupid hive-mind gatherings.”

Oh how Invidia longed for a situation comparable to the one Avaritia just described, but before imagination could get the best of them, they are joined by the missing party.

“Hello, everybody. Sorry I’m late,” Acedia says upon entry. “I was doing something important and I—on second thought, no I wasn’t. I was sleeping.”

“Well it’s great that you decided to show up.” Luxuria says, watching Acedia take a seat and kick his feet on the desk. The entity certainly knew how to relax.

He yawns with disregard to the situation he sat in, but that doesn’t mean he cares exactly either way. Caring isn’t in his nature.

“So what is it this time? Same old-same old or are we going to switch things up for a change.” Acedia asks.

“We’re here to discuss our progress, Acedia.” Superbia replys, to which Acedia rolls their eyes.

“Same old-same old, eh?”

“Can’t we just forget about it this time? These are always so boring and they always end the same way-” Gula tries reason with Superbia and a mouthful of pretzels, but cannot finish his sentence before Ira cuts in.

“But that would mean you couldn’t feed your fat face with those damn pretzels Superbia delighted you with. Whatever will you do!?!”

“Die of starvation, perhaps,” Avarita joins Ira’s insult. “Pass those over here!” he calls, demanding the bowl which had made its way in front of Gula.

Gula eyes the bowl nervously, then back up to Avarita. Lacking the confidence that resonated in Superbia’s tone, he shoves the bowl towards his counter-part merely saying, “Okay.”

Avarita snatches the bowl, and with the closer look he doesn’t enjoy what he sees. “THERE’S NOTHING BUT CRUMBS YOU PIECE OF SHIT. DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK THAT THERE MAY BE OTHERS WHO WANTED TO EAT SOME FUCKING PRETZELS?”

With Ira’s influence, Avarita throws the bowl in Gula’s face. A coat of pretzel crumbs and sodium now decorates the room.

“Enough; we go through this futile representation almost every meeting. So now that we’ve got it over with, we can begin.” Superbia’s voice once again fills the room, but like always, not everyone is convinced.

“But he’s right.”

The words from Invidia shouldn’t come as a shock, but for Superbia they do.

“We’re always here to exhibit our own behavior like we’re in the spotlight, Superbia. Who says you should be leading these gatherings?” His words, however scarred by his agenda they may be, still speak true.

“Excuse me, Invidia, but need I remind you of how much progress the Morning Star has made in my lead? How far we’ve taken him, not only as an icon, but as a force; it’s because of my drive—”

“And we’re thankful of this Superbia. Really, we are grateful, despite how malicious everyone seems to be acting. It is because of your pride that the Morning Star has achieved such success and deceived as many minds that he has.” Luxuria’s voice brought a certain calmness to everyone, as they joined Invidia and Superbia standing at the table. “But that doesn’t change the situation at hand.”

“Situation?” Superbia asks.

“You do understand that while we are gathering here to decide the drive and determination for our young canvas, we are still a mere influence and the Boy is his own being. It is his choices at the end of the day that determines how successful we are. The fact that you should chose to be so proud of a gathering where all we do is bicker is somewhat ironic, wouldn’t you think?”

Superbia can’t believe what they’re hearing from whom they thought was part of the faithful group. The other’s, however, we’re enjoying what Luxuria had to say. As if Luxuria happened to be speaking their mind.

“From the beginning of your tenure as the main influence, we knew what we’d devolve to. Everything sounded delightful at first, we’d all take pride in what we were and what we did. For the most part, it worked. The Morning Star’s successes were all because of his ability to be proud. But with routine comes the sickness of repetition that we should have anticipated sooner.”

“You’re saying I should step down.” Superbia doesn’t inquire, because Luxuria’s suggestions are less than subtle.

“I’m saying we all should understand that circumstances change, and being as it is now, there’s only one way for the Morning Star to continue if he’s to stay on the path we’ve provided; DOWN. It’s only a matter of time before he feels he can rely on no one but himself, and we all know he must exercise his resources with caution. Let us change that now. Let us change his determination to—”

“—to lust? Is this what you suggest, Luxuria?” Despite Avarita’s insistence, Luxuria maintains their sly smile. “And people question my persistence? Hah, your claims may ring true but there isn’t one of us incapable of chairing these meetings... aside from maybe Acedia.”

Acedia smiles warmly and nods at Avarita’s mention, probably the first time he’d paid attention to the conversation.

“Avarita is right; why can’t I be the Morning Star’s drive?” Invidia asks. “I’m just as determined as Superbia.”

“Because, like Avarita, an essence such as yourself isn’t known for considering self-limitation.” Luxuria answers. “If we’re going to keep the situation maintainable, we can’t let unchallenged emotion be in control of the Morning Star. With Avarita, he’ll have an unquenchable thirst for more.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Avarita’s face curls.

“This will be his biggest weakness. It won’t take long for enemies to adapt and exploit this, you must understand.”

“And I?” Once everyone realized it’s Ira who speaks, they begin wondering why he hadn’t done so sooner. “You’ve talked about the others. We all understand why laziness and even indulgence are unable to chair. But why is anger to be cast aside as well?” Betraying his nature, Ira asks this calmly.

“Such a negative attitude would tear the council apart, Ira. With time, pride begat the best of us—what if your wrath were to bind us all? How productive would we be?”

A silence overtakes the room. Luxuria leaves enough time between his pitch to let them catch up to the conversation, in case all of these outbursts are overwhelming.

“We shall interfere in his life; just this once. We’ll flood him with influence and allow him to make the choice he feels he should.”

“But he must never know.” Superbia says, but he isn’t considering the scope of Luxuria’s suggestion.

“He will not. We will not even speak directly—he will make this journey by himself with a mere push on our behalf to get it started. If we take an opportunity to force a moment of self-reflection, the Morning Star will continue with his own discoveries until he reaches whatever conclusion he may. Be it right or wrong, we will follow it. Whether Superbia continues to lead this council or not is up to him and him alone.”

Everyone seems to come to terms with this idea, as it is the only fair shot they have at glory (aside from Acedia, who really couldn’t care which way the entire situation went). Even Superbia, who’s all but lost his own nature, feels the need for this event to transpire if he hopes to hold reign over these meetings any longer.

But Luxuria understands that with their compliance, they’ve already conceded to his rule.

For the Morning Star is not spending time alone these days, and Luxuria understands that circumstances dictate surroundings.

And with that, we fade to commercial..

_______________--________________

In the commercial there is a somewhat dark, and small living room of sorts. The television is on, which emits a blue light that changes periodically. Across from the television, sitting on a couch is a person. He looks unhappy and is leaning back against the edge of the couch, slowly flipping through the channels. He sighs and kicks his foot up on a coffee table.*

"Are you unhappy with your life?"

[The man looks up towards his ceiling almost as he brings his foot down. He sighs again, and shakes his head yes.]

"Are you tired of living day to day and not doing anything of any importance?"

[The man once again sighs.]

Man On Couch: "Yeah..."

"Well we can help!"

Man: "You can?"

"Yes! We can! We know what its like to be pathetic and live day to day of your long meaningless existence, in fact, we're raising money for one of your kind right now!!

So get off that couch, and head to a phone! If you dial 1-800-NO-TLENT right now, we will connect you with an operator! We ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, MOST ASSUREDLY guarantee (not an official guarantee) that if you donate money now, you will feel better about your life! Here’s what you can get if you donate now!! If you donate twenty-five dollars...you can get this autographed photo, of Hunter Ryan!"

[A photo begins to begin on screen, Hunter is wearing a Shawn Christopher T-shirt and has a thumbs up, and there is an autograph across the bottom. Also on screen is the number $25 in the upper left corner, and "1-800-NO-TLENT" across the bottom.]

"This one of a kind, authenticated, and official autograph of the Ryan Brother...no, the other one, not the former Nitro, the other guy. It comes complete with a licensee of authenticity, as well as this wall-mounting frame! Total value...well...I'd say about 5 or 6 bucks, but you might be able to get like 10 for it, if you put it like in a leather wallet or something. I dunno, I don’t have like a list in front of me, but it’s probably not worth a lot..."

[The voiceover kind of trails off]

"AND! If you donate one HUNDRED dollars, we will give you a "Initiative" t-shirt!"[The t-shirt is shown on screen, along with $100 in the corner, and the phone number across the bottom.]

"The Initiative" t-shirt, as seen worn by Hunter Ryan himself, is made from 100% cotton, and is guaranteed, unlike the careers of Hunter Ryan, Nick Ryan, and John Gambino, to NEVER fade! And...I'm sure it would be good as kindling to start your fire when it gets cold as you watch a SC promo on XWF TV.

And! For a limited time only, while supplies last, for donations of one THOUSAND dollars or more...we will throw in... HUNTER RYAN!!"

[An image of Hunter is shown on screen now, with one thousand up in the corner, and the phone number across the bottom.]

"That’s right folks, for a mere one thousand dollars, we will ship Hunter Ryan to your home for an entire week, within 5 to 7 business days. Hunter Ryan is known to be able to clean out entire arenas of every last fan, so it should be no problem for him to get your kids to school! Just turn him on and instruct him to cut a promo, your kids will be BEGGING to go to school, and will probably stay late to get extra credit! Need some yard work done? Just tell Hunter Ryan that all your grass is actually bio-engineered marijuana and he will gladly mow the lawn and spend the rest of the afternoon in the shed, inhaling blades of grass! And don’t forget, for you lonely young housewives, Hunter Ryan is a sad and pathetic lonely man. Just turn on the vibration feature and jump on for a quick ride. Guaranteed to not last longer than 2 minutes!! And...FOR THE NEXT 20 MINUTES ONLY, if you throw in an extra 10 dollars, we will include this brown paper bag with an image of Shawn Christopher attached to place over the head of Hunter Ryan while you get your 2 minutes of mediocre pleasure! Now the experience of a SC sexual experience can be delivered to your home!! (Not guaranteed to work as well as the real SC)."

[The image once again shows the man on the couch, who looks suddenly excited.]

"So you there on the couch, get up! And make your donation now!!"

"Don’t worry! I have exactly one thousand and ten dollars in my life savings, and I'm gonna donate now!! Here I come Shawn!!"

"1-800-NO-TLENT...call now! He needs YOUR help!!"

[The commercial slowly fades out with a disclaimer.]

________________--______________

The following promotion is brought to you by the next XWF World Champion... Shawn Christopher.

"Well Hunter.. your day of reckoning is almost upon us.

You know, I was walking down the street the other day, and this kid asked me what you needed to be able to beat me at Anarchy. I let the kid know that you needed more than just talent. You need better ring skills, better mic skills, new wrestling attire, dental work, liposuction, breast implants, penis enlargement surgery, intelligence, a girlfriend, a car, a hotel room for the shows, a new house, a condo for his mother, some friends, a haircut, testicles, a fifth toe on his deformed right foot, a better win loss record, he needs the ability to not be such a pathetic girl, he needs...

... well, let's just say that he needs alot."

Shawn smirks.

"Hunter, you might be in the same federation as me, but when it comes to talent, I’m on a whole different playing field. You can keep your petty ass playing t-ball with the rest of your wannabe crew, because you know you’ll never have what it takes to play in the big leagues with the superstars like me. I suggest you take notes from Barry Bonds… take some performance enhancers if you ever think about dropping my name for a quick ratings spike. With your current quality level and skill, you’d be lucky to step out of the dugout before bursting into flames from my explosively hot insults."

If anyone is close to Hunter right now, check his pulse, because he just might need life support right now.

"You were better off sitting this match out, chump. You should have sat on the sidelines, with your bitches in the Initiative, and you should have watched the Cult Icon do something you could never do…wrestle an exciting match. You should have called in sick, Hunter. Wait, that’s right… you’ve no-showed so many times in your career that you’re out of sick days. Ah well, it’s too late for you to do anything about it now. But in all reality, it would have been nice if you could have sat ringside and learned a few things from the one constant of excellence in the XWF… like how to use the word “an” correctly. Here’s a hint, it’s only used before words that start with a vowel.

Oh yeah, you said in your last promo that you were going to break things down simple for me. But what you fail to realize is that listening to your whining is like listening to the newspaper… you get nothing useful out of it and it makes no fucking sense. The only way you can make things simple for me is if you just stopped putting promos out completely. Then maybe there would be a lot less cockiness from someone who doesn’t even make a blip on the XWF Main Event Radar."

The camera shoots to a shot of the XWF Main Event Radar in the background. It’s making a “beep” every time the radar sweeps across an object. There are three blips on the screen… one in Pennslyvania, one in New York, and one in Hollywood. Hmmm… I wonder who those those dots are for…

"You can try to be like me all you want, Hunter, but no one is buying it. You can't wrestle like I can, you can't walk like I can, and you damn sure can’t talk like I can. You don’t have the skills I have and it's obvious you don’t have the money I do, either. The only thing you can do better than me is sweep the ramp off before the opening of the card. I won’t take that away from you… it’s one of the few things you’re good at. But I’ll be damned if you try to claim anything more than that. Knocking your lights out daily? Sure… you knock me right the fuck out every time I’m forced to watch you run off at the mouth. It’s time to end this charade, Hunter. After you get beat down on Anarchy, I expect you to do the right thing and go back to your midcard existence. You don’t deserve to be up here where the real stars play. Now someone get me an ashtray, because I just smoked this bitch like one a fucking Newport."

Fade to black.