Life is funny, as much as you rage and defy the idea of fate, the thought that a divine force is guiding and predicting your every choice, everything always seems to come together in the end. And for all your raging, for all your defiance, for all your imputent rebellion, you are what you were destined to become.

I know my destiny.

It's not the end that interests me, it's the head on screaming bull ride I crash there with, waving my fists with all the rage, rebellion, and defiance I can fully muster.

Now you're asking yourself, what is Shawn's destiny? Do you really want to know? Could you bear the burden of knowledge? Knowing what this life holds for you no matter where you go, no matter what you accomplish, that horrible fate is waiting for you one way or another.

There is a reason we are born without the ability to know what is to become of us. We live to produce, to prosper, and experience every agonizingly beautiful moment life offers us for the first time, over and over again. You take that away and we are little more than autonomous machines breeding an ideal.

Now you're asking yourself, how do I go on? How do I carry the burden I assume you could not? Because everything ends as it should, there are no loop holes, no exit signs, and no way off this one way train to oblivion. I know my destiny and I do not fear it.

I showed up here with a sordid reputation of past gains and failures, nobody sure if I'm worth their time, if I was worth the words wasted. I did't intend to get behind a mic and start issuing challenges because I'm arrogant enough to think I deserve them. I also did't intend to sit here listening to some jacked up ring monkey tell me where he's been and what he's done like somebody in this business should give a damn. We're all faces in the crowd, you want to be noticed then telling people so isn't the way to get it done. Actions speak louder than the most thunderous battle cry and it doesn't matter if you've been in the game a month or a decade it only takes a single moment to climb that pinnacle, and only a moment to lose your balance. For some of us just getting to that peak, that adrenaline charged high that puts you head and shoulders above all of mankind, for some that's everything, it's their life, their ambition. Some of us have had it, lost it, and come to the realization that a momentary buzz is pale in comparison to a legacy of high points, to them it's all about making a name and leaving a mark. The rest of us see through the veil of unfulfilled dreams and broken promises to the dirty industry underneath, and in our morbid state we rejoice because we are home, we are apathy cloaked in flesh and given will, we seek the only thing left for us to find.

The breaking point.

The point beyond all physical measures, a place only visited once. It is the end, the final stop in a line of trainwrecks, the last stand where a warrior is given his earned coupe de grace in proper fashion, upon the field where he has dedicated his life. My destiny is not to push one man or another to this point, this I've done and with regrete immortalized those names upon my soul. My fate is to build a pinnacle worthy of being broken by one greater, and to in turn immortalize my own career upon his deeds by making that victory all the grander for my defeat. Championships, titles, records, these only matter to those who wish to be better, my competition and one day my end.

Now you're asking yourself, can I be the one to break Shawn? Of course you can, it's really quite simple, all you have to do is try. My job is to make sure you're not the one to break me.

Too bad for you that's a job I've proven to be great at.

___________--____________

The following promotion is brought to you by the reigning Television Legend.. and the NEEEEEEEEEW KING OF THE XWF WORLD... SHAWN CHRISTOPHER.

What a celebration! On Sunday night, I did what I usually do every night. The champ came in…but this time it was into the arena instead of into your fiancé. I stepped foot inside the Helldome for the first time, and with a smile on my face, I made the people realize one thing. I am the single most entertaining entity in all of sports entertainment. Champion or not, that fact will never change.

So Famine, Thanks for your championship.

I enjoyed ruining your life.

Maybe you can do a cell-phone commercial in a few years. But for now; just sit back, relax, watch the TV.

We’re bound to see some Icon-Fucking goodness.

Two titles down.. one more to go mother fuckers.

Time to head for Lord of the Ring.

___________--____________

___________--____________

God damn.

It’s only been a fucking week, and ALREADY, everyone feels like they have the right to drop the words “Shawn Christopher” into their mediocre promos.

Fuck, even Vince Jones thinks his word holds some merit in this company. You know it’s pretty fucking bad when Hunter Ryan is still to talking shit.

[emoticon for eyebrow roll]

Yeah. Right. When Cyborg Jesus kills Fidel, maybe.

So I need to put these shits in their bitch-made places.

And I do it in style. The internet buzz says I wowed them all. I think the words are “Triple H-esque, but not boring.”

I can’t blame them; it’s like I’m a fucking poet. The words that jump past my lips are fucking artistic gold, even in the whole insulting realm. Does Hunter Ryan think I’m going to address his welfare Check collecting ass after this? Does Violater think he’s important enough to even acknowledge? Bigg Rigg actually thinks he can halt my dominance?

Wishful thinking. You guys have been watching “the Little Princess” too much.

This isn’t a fucking Cinderella story. There isn’t one mother fucker who is going to topple me.

Not one of you.

And these fuckers think they can keep a white man down? All this bullshit reverse racism in the Pro-Wrestling world is a crock of nonsense![/end bullshit]

Bigg Rigg? Suck an Irish Cock. You know, I respected you Sunday night for the effort you brought. I respected you Monday morning cause I didn't hear about your death from being in the Helldome. But Tuesday morning, when I actually thought to check the Anarchy card, it went right out the window.

Did you spit in Jonathyn's Cheerios or something because he keeps putting you in these losing situations.

I mean, I may as well defend the fucking belt against Zach Rizza. Cyborg Jesus knows the mother fucker deserves it.

Hmmmmm I’ve got a better idea.

I am the fucking man, right? Well, yeah, why the fuck am I asking? (not ‘who the fuck am I asking,’ that’s totally irrelevant) Of course I’m the fucking man, but these assholes who feel like they have the right to curse the SC family need to understand that I deserve respect.

Why not give me a position of power within the XWF? I mean I fucking deserve it; Winning Television and World Titles and outing a steroid conspiracy. Okay, I didn’t out a conspiracy, but it looks like I did! And appearances are all that matter at this point. I’m the best thing the XWF has right now, and its high-time they realize that.

Why should I have to wait for anything at any time for that matter? I’m a mother fucking O.G. For you stupid illiterate idiots out there, that means original gangster, or in my case, Gangstar.

It’s like all those fucking fees I have to pay; no stupid American Government is going to make ME pay $10,000 in radiculaous fines. Oops, I just did a Q.C. Thug. I meant ‘ridiculous’, because that’s what fines are. I mean, it’s their fault I have them anyways. They say that I am “failing to cooperate” and that “the fees will continue to grow unless {I} pay them”; BULLSHIT. I didn’t even deserve to pay anything in the first place.

Traffic cops are so dense. I mean, they expect me; Shawn Christopher, a hero. They expect me to obey stupid sets of lights that allow me to pass? They fucking expect my driving to be dictated by the primary colors? Fuck that; I don’t see any dragons breathing fire, telling me I’m not allowed to drive my car past a busy intersection. I’ll drive where I damn well please! You think the World Television Champion passes only on Green? Pfft, green is for pussy ass bitches. Real men go when it’s “forbidden” or “dangerous,” but stupid police officers would say that’s illegal.

These are the same assholes that probably drive between the designated lines on the “right” side of the road. Pfft, I don’t call those “traffic lines”. I call those “asshole suggestions,” otherwise known as suggestions for asshole drivers if you’re too stupid to decipher what I meant.

And I’m not an asshole driver—wait a second, what the fuck am I talking about?

Oh yeah: Bigg Rigg. Dude’s a douchebag anyways. Damn straight. It’s such a joyous occasion, not even Bigg Rigg’s racially offensive odor is enough to disrupt the moment. Yeah, I say ‘racially offensive’ because the dude was just fueling the Italian stereotype with his stinky spaghetti smell. SERIOUSLY.

Hit the mother fucking road Bigg Rigg, because you don't stand a chance as I continue to save the XWF from mediocrity.

You know, it’s funny how much they’re relying on me. And they really should. Now that I’ve got the power I need, I can really act on the true inclinations I’ve been getting lately.

Like that damn Universal Title that Bradley Pierce’s been carrying around for so damn long. These assholes have been trying to restrain mr; but now that I've got some momentum, there is no stopping me. Cause we're tired of seeing the same losers get title shots. DANIEL MALCOLM?! Didn't I just beat his ass? He couldn't even win the World title, but you think he'll be able to win the Universal? That just shows how good you really believe Bradley is. But don't worry, cause by the end of this year, I will have that title as well and become the greatest champion in XWF history.

It’s all downhill from here for the fuckers in my way, and Jonathyn Brown knows it. That’s why he calls me into his office. He wants to talk about how fucking bad ass I am, ask me to tone it down because of the kids watching, and beg for me to teach him how I roll so hard.

Sorry Jonny, but you’ll never know. You’re too... old, and you’re friends with Bradley Pierce which is just plain weird. Sorry, you’re already not cool enough to be a bad ass.

Get this; I’m so fucking cool, that HHH is all “Here. Take my Office. You’re the King of the XWF; you should have it.” And then he runs off like a pathetic scamp and allows me to conduct some real business.

Huh, you know what I just realized? I’m the King of the XWF World and I’m at the mother fucking top of my mother fucking game.

King of XWF

King Christopher

That kind of has a ring to it...