.Begin.

::The scene begins with a young man around the age of 16 or 17 hiding behind a couch. He seems terrified out of his mind. Another young man and a young woman around the same age walk into the room that he's in. They're all dressed relatively normally if a little geeky. The two that walked into the room look around not having spotted the other man. Confused they start to call out to him.::

Young Woman - Bob? Bob are you here?

Young Man - Bob?

::Bob pops his head out from behind the couch.::

Bob - Shh! You'll give away my hiding place!

Young Woman - Bob what are you doing behind the couch?

Bob - Quiet Debby! I'm trying to hide!

Young Man - From who? The cops? The FCC? A bully?

Bob - Worse Eric. Much worse! Oh no here he comes!

::Bob starts to scream in terror as Debby and Eric turn to see who is coming. Stepping forth from a closet on the other side of the room is a man wearing a TV on his head. He turns his head from Debby to Eric as if looking at them. Then his screen pops on.::

TV guy - It slices, dices, cuts, minces and even mashes things into Chilean fries! But wait there's more! Act now and we'll send you the handy log-o-matic absolutely free! For only 99! 99! 99!

Bob - AH! I can't take this anymore!

Debby - Just have him arrested or something!

::Bob looks at her almost in tears.::

Bob - I can't!

Eric - Why not?

Bob - The police ran away...

Debby - Can you blame them?

TV guy - It's Bucket O Nothing! Surprise your friends, Amaze your family, Annoy perfect strangers! It's absolutely nothing. FREE! for only 99! 99! 99!

::During this the tv on the man's head shows people using a bucket to do the things he says.::

Bob - That's it! I'm kicking your ass!

::The tv guy lets out a little shriek and hides behind Debby.::

Debby - Now Bob just calm down. Let's just play Wizards and Warriors and forget that he's even here.

Eric - Yeah that's probably the best way to handle it... What's his name anyway?

Bob - He called himself Mike the TV when I asked.

Eric - Of course he did. Let's just play.

Bob - Ok. I think I worked out the glitches in the programing.

Debby - Excellent.

::The three of them sit down on the couch and grab sunglasses with wire coming out of them from the table in front of it. They put them on and Bob feels around for a button on a computer that's sitting on the table. While he's doing that because he has the glasses on he doesn't notice that Mike the TV sits down in the last open seat on the couch, also wearing the sunglasses. Bob finds the button he's looking for and presses it. The computer hums on and the four of them are "transported" into a magical land. The three friends open their eyes and look at their outfits. Debby's a wizard, Eric's an elven archer, and Bob is a thief.::

Bob - I'm a thief?! How am I a thief?! I'm the warrior! I'm always the warrior!

Eric - Well if you're not the warrior. Than who is?

::Mike steps forward still with the TV for a head but garbed in warrior's gear otherwise.::

Mike the TV - Dun Dun Dun! Mike the Mighty Warrior! Tonight at 8.

Bob - Oh no... I'm reseting.

Debby - No don't let's just play. I can't stay all night and if you reset we have to start all over.

Bob - Fine... Mike give me your sword.

::Mike looks around as if searching for something then looks at Bob and shrugs.::

Bob - Wear's you're sword?

Mike the TV - I don't think they gave me one.

Bob - GAH! I can't do this!

Mike the TV - What are you waiting for? Enter now for you chance to win!

::Mike announces this bit as if he was announcing a contest. Bob looks about ready to tackle him but Debby steps in between them.::

Debby - Sorry Mike but why don't you just wait right here and let us beat the game?

Eric - Trust us. It's your only hope of winning.

Mike the TV - Shunned by his friends, ignored by his loved ones, abandoned by those he trusts most.

::Debby and Eric start to look sad for Mike and look to Bob.::

Bob - NO! Not going to happen. No to the question that isn't being asked. Never. I will not allow it.

::Debby gives Bob big sad puppy eyes and a pouty lip. Bob looks at Mike.::

Bob - You can come with us on one condition. Stay out of our way.

Mike - Guaranteed to work behind the scenes so you don't have to. Out of sight or your money back.

::With that situation "solved" the four of them enter a cave to their left and begin their adventure. After entering the cave they come upon a big heavy door with a demon head mounted above it. The head comes alive as they approach.::

Demon head - To win the chalice listen to me. All in one, one in all that's the key.

Debby - Hmm... A riddle.

Eric - What's it mean?

Bob - Probably has to do with how to get to the chalice.

Debby - Yeah.

Bob - Well we're not going to get to it by just standing here.

::Bob goes up to the door and starts to push.::

Bob - Ugh this is just too heavy. Help guys.

::Eric and Debby go and help as well but it still doesn't budge. Eric looks back and Mike.::

Eric - You help too Mike.

Mike - Never fear! I'll save you!

::Mike charges forward and rams into the door. It flies off it's hinges and everyone goes with it. It lands on what appears to be an underground aqueduct and they land on top of it using it as a raft.::

Eric - Good going Mike.

Bob - Nice.. Cozy.. Cheerful.. Where are we?

::Debby pulls out a map.::

Debby - According to this, we're traveling down the hopeless river of eternal imprisonment, the final resting place of all those who fail to get the chalice.

Bob - Nice. And wear are we headed?

Debby - Well this is actually a pretty much direct path to the chalice we just have to get past the vicious pit of eternal oblivion.

::As soon as she says that the group looks up from the map and sees that they're about to go over a waterfall. The three guys start to scream but Debby begins casting a spell and when they go over the waterfall they just float across and land on the cliff on the other side.::

Eric - Phew close one.

Bob - Yeah thanks Debby.

Debby - No problem.

Bob - Now let's go get that chalice.

::The group presses on. Plunging deeper into the labyrinth hidden in the cave. They encounter many dangerous traps and evil creatures waiting to try and kill them. But they overcome every obstacle and make it to the room outside the one where the chalice is.::

Eric - We've almost made it.

Bob - Yeah. Now we just have to get into the next room.

::As they walked towards the door at the end of the room Mike sang them some marching music. Practically having given up on getting him to shut up the rest of the group didn't care. However, approaching the door a candle sitting next to it flared and a giant shadow creature grew behind them. It knocked Debby across the room. Eric tried to pull an arrow out to shoot at the creature but it hit him just as hard as Debby. Bob attempted to fight off the creature but a trap activated and threatened to hurt Debby so he leaped to her rescue. This left only Mike to combat the creature.::

Eric - Mike's our only hope...

Mike - Mangled, injured, almost near death? Call Edwards, Kennedy, and Shumacker. We won't be undersued!

::Mike says this as he slowly backs up away from the shadow creature. Bob having saved Debby watches on. Watching as Mike gets closer to the door and the candle beside it.::

Bob - We're dead.

::Mike with his back up against the wall takes in a huge breath apparently getting ready to scream. But then he turns and blows out the candle. The room is sent into pure darkness and the shadow creature is gone.::

Debby - Of course! Mike you're a genius.

Bob - Where'd you get an idea like that?

::A commercial appears on Mike's tv.::

Mike - Tonight Dr. Goldsmith Versus the Shadow Monsters pt IV. Only on BMMN. The Bad Monster Movie Network. I liked it.

::Debby casts a spell to bring light back into the room.::

Bob - Good Job Mike. I think we all owe you an apology.

Debby and Eric - Yeah.

Mike - hahaha! Somebody give me a hug!

::They all give him a hug and then go through the last door. On the other side of it they see the Chalice and four mirrors. They start to walk towards the chalice and their reflections appear in the mirrors. They're reflections look a little "off" and they walk out of the mirrors. The group stops dead in their tracks as they're presented with themselves. Suddenly the mirror group lets out an evil laugh in unison and attacks the group.::

Mike - AHH!!!!!

::Mike turns to run away from his mirror double but everyone else in the group steps forward and grabs that Mike and throws him back into his mirror. This unfortunately leaves them open to attack from their own mirror double. Seeing this Mike jumps in the way of Debby's double. His tv screen comes to life and shows a commercial.::

Mike - The Love Hospital. "Your prescription for romance."

Debby Double - AHHH!

::Debby's double runs away back into her own mirror. They turn to Eric's double and grab him and force him back into his mirror as well. All that's left is Bob's double. Mike steps forward again. His TV comes to life and he looks Bob's double in the face.::

Mike - Don't touch that dial! You're turned to the commercial channel all commercials all the time. An Eternity of useless products to rot your skeevy little mind... FOREVER.

Bob Double - AHHH!!!

::Bob's double also runs back into his own mirror. The group then triumphantly walks to the chalice and as a group picks it up. The scene starts to get blurry and the video game shuts off. They all take their glasses off and look at each other. Ecstatic that they beat the game. They turn to thank Mike but he's not there. His glasses are sitting on the couch where he was but he himself is gone.::

Bob - Mike?

Debby - MIKE?

Eric - Where'd you go Mike?

Bob - Maybe he just wanted to play the game...

Debby - And he's off to find the next good rush.

Eric - Yeah...

::The scene fades to black with the three of them sitting there staring at the virtual reality glasses that Mike the TV was using. They let out a collective sigh of regret almost loneliness after everything is pitch black for the viewers.::

.End.

WOOHOO! I'm back in the ring baby! After a couple years off it's finally time to get back in the saddle and giddy up partner. I promise you all you're in for one hell of a trip. Brought to you by your one and only tour guide. KAMIKAZE! Please keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times and if you become dismembered, disfigured, beheaded, bled on, bleed, or get soaked in water, please understand that it is in no way the fault of Kamikaze and that you waive all legal right to sue for said problems by agreeing to be on the ride.

Ok well if that's all taken care of. Time to get the ball rolling! First match back and it's against Sara Pettis. Pettis. I know I've heard that name before... meh I'm sure if it was important it'd come to me. But it's not so I don't care. All though looking at her picture I have to say she reminds me of someone I used to be on the road with. Becky? I want to say. Oh yeah didn't Becky have a daughter? Oh this must be her.

Ok. I'm going to be honest with you. That last paragraph was a partial lie. Personally I don't remember your parents. Or your uncle. I kind of remember your step dad. But I know who they are and what they did for the industry. I also know that yes you're they're daughter/niece but that's only because you said so in your promo. So you know good for you. I'm happy for you. I mean your family life is a little messed up. But look on the bright side. At least you're not crazy.

Now. On to what you said about me. I'm honored that you know who I am. I'm also honored that you know so much about me. Like how I earned my nicknames. "The Hardcore Samurai" specifically. The other two are slightly based on my matches and slightly based on the fact that no one can seem to carry on a conversation with me for over two minutes at a time. No worries though. Because you're stepping into the ring with a pro at hardcore matches. So while I'm sure you're dad would be upset at me if I were to hurt you I know he'd be just as upset with me if I go easy on you. Same with you from what I can tell. You'd hate it if I went easy on you just because of your name. Well I'm not going to. If you want to be a wrestler you can take your knocks just like everybody else. I respect you for who you choose to be. Not who you were born as. So come next week we'll have a good straight up match. No holding back.

Oh and Legend? I didn't realize I had been elevated to Legend status. Geez. Now I feel old. I mean I'm 25 for crying out loud and I'm all ready a legend? That either means that I'm really good, that the term legend doesn't mean as much as it used to, or you're just a really nice person. I'll take the first or the last. Not a big fan of option number two there.

But don't worry too much Ms. Sara. I may be right at home in Hardcore matches. But I haven't wrestled in a while. So I'll have a bit of ring rust going into this. So hopefully my rust isn't too thick and it'll wear off really quickly and I can help you get used to Hardcore matches. Plus put on one hell of a show for the crowd. But hey, look on the bright side. Even if you don't win this match. At least you helped entertain the crowd. Which is what we're all here to do no matter what goals we set while we do it. Right?