Who in the blue moon are you?!
Blue Moon… I love that song!
Mother fucker, this isn’t the request line! I asked you a simple damn question and I demand an answer! Who… the fuck… are you?!
Oh, whatever happened to my manners I will never know! Hehehehe. They call me Sweet Cheeks and boy am I ever glad to be here! Is this camera on? Heeeeeeeey VWF viewers! Sweet Cheeks Danny G here! Hoping you’re having a wonderful time there wherever you are! Hehehehehe!
-|| TD cocks his head at this stranger as Danny G is standing there waving at the camera and blowing kisses at it.||-
Is thou on crack?!
No, but I love Juan’s
-|| A moment of silence soon occurs as TD is standing there with a puzzled look on his face. ||-
Penis.
Blasphemy! The Awesome Wonder doth not need know your personal and private happenings peasant! Step out of thine chamber before I burn you at the stake!
Awww, you’re speaking in Old English… how cute!
GET OUT NOW YOU SODOMIZER BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT!!!
As you wish your majesty.
-|| Before exiting the room, Danny G curtsied as if he was wearing a long dress, enraging the King. ||-
Did thou curtsy as if he were a woman?! You know what, who cares. Get of here sinner! Thou devilish ways shall not influence someone as pure as I!
Hehe… good bye my lovely King!
-|| Danny quickly darts out of the door before TD can react. The King reaches over and grabs a glass of water and throws it at the door in an attempt to strike Danny G with it, but he fails in doing so. His face is filled with anger as he stares at the door. His nostrils flaring and his lips curled up, Evalina majestically appears on camera. ||-
What is wrong my King?
-|| Still enraged, TD begins to breathe heavier. ||-
You know… if this place didn’t need my salvation, I wouldn’t have ever came back. But with corrupt and undeserving champions and a doll named Dandelion running rampant… I cannot leave the VWF in this horrendous condition.
What ever got you on that subject?!
Sodomizer.
Do WHAT?!
There was a sinner in my chamber… a ‘victim’ of sodomy… long removed from the straight and narrow. He has strayed too far from the love that is the Lord, and there is nothing I can do to save his poor soul.
… Okay? And the sudden spiritual quest is for?
Maybe this is a sign.
What is my love?
Don’t you see my sweet Evalina? Devil dolls, intruding sodomist…
Grown men cowering behind mirrors.
You shouldn’t have snuck up on me.
They’re all signs my sweet. Signs from above wanting me to correct the wrong. Visions from heaven wanting me to save as many lost souls as possible. Don’t you see my sweet?! Everything has happened for a reason and THIS is my true calling! Converting people to Awesomism.
You are absolutely kidding me.
No. I am serious, love. Why else would I be booked against a murderous devil doll?! I know Jonas Allen can’t be THAT foolish! The man is the president of this great federation for crying out loud! He realizes what kind of talent he has on the roster. And it isn’t going to be long before he realizes that I’m of… if not THEE GREATEST SUPERSTAR he has on the roster! For you see Evalina, this voodoo doll is the least of my worries. I have other duties my Lord wants me to fulfill. I have to go out and preach the Gospel that is Awesomeness! Quick! Fetch me thine Bible!
Oh God, not this Old English bullshit again.
I like King’s English… it makes me sound more essential.
Whatever.
Don’t deny it, you like it too! But onto more important matters. At Crucifiction, I make my long awaited VWF return going against a murderous devil she-doll, Dandelion. Now, let me take the time and say that this is absolutely a first for the King of Awesomeness, but let me declare that this will absolutely be the last time I will be made a mockery of! Do you know how far my reputation went when this tidbit of information became available?! It went straight to the bottom! Everything I have worked for… everything that I have earned in my wrestling career… completely down the drain. And the only way for me to regain the love and trust from the residents of Awesomeness?... Win. That’s all I have to do. But the question is this… HOW IN THE BUMFUCK DO YOU PREPARE FOR A FRIGGIN’ DOLL?!
Answer that damn question for me, could you… COULD YOU?! That’s right, because you can’t! Someone on the writing staff has to be on crack because who in their right mind would want to see a modern reincarnation of Frankenstein’s Bride in the wrestling ring?! I know for a fact that I wouldn’t want to see that happen, but lo and behold… here I am, a limited amount of time before my match-up, and I’m going against one! If this is someone’s crude idea for a joke, it’s not in the least bit funny. To be quite honest with ya, I don’t know why I’m so upset over the fact that I am facing a doll. Oh yeah… now I know… THE DAMN THING DOES NOT HAVE A MIND OF IT’S OWN! It’s being controlled by it’s creator, and I can guarantee you that it isn’t Jesus H. Christ!
Get a hold of yourself honey. You’re getting worked up over something that is way beyond your control.
I can’t help it Evalina, it’s stupid shit like this that gets under my skin. How can one justify letting a deranged inanimate object in the wrestling profession, let alone book one of those mother fuckers in a match!
But this match is meaningless my sweet. Just let it go!
Meaningless? A man’s pride and self-image is on the line and you want to stand there and say that this match is meaningless?! What if I where to lose tonight, how in the hell would I be able to show my face in public ever again? Answer that one! How can someone that loses to a doll be proud of that fact and continue to show his face in public?! Evalina, I know for a god damn fact that I am better than this. I KNOW I deserve more than a match against something that isn’t living. That is why tonight, I am going to do anything and everything in my power to make sure that I will not lose. I have my eyes set on bigger goals and accomplishments. I am here to purify this great organization, and going against a demonic, Satanist doll has nothing to do with it. You have a title HANDED to a person and that sumbitch clearly states that he doesn’t want it. How can you do that?! Do you know how tainted that title is now?! You have an entire list of people who would practically kill for a shot at the gold, and you whip out your wang and piss all over it… how can you do it Jonny… how… can… you… do it?!
Jonny, you’re a different man now than what you where a few short years ago, but one thing is for certain… I am better than you. I always have, and I always will be. So after tonight, when you try to baptize a title that’s on a downward spiral to nothingness… how about you put that title on the line against someone that deserves it… that can save it and bring it up to a level of awesomeness? I know, I know, “too soon!” But why do you want to try and prevent the inevitable? Face facts Jonny my boy, you don’t deserve that championship. You never have and you never will. If I have anything to say about it Cedrone, that title will not be in your possession for very long; because once I’m done with this heathen, I’m coming after you my boy.
Your King has spoken.
-|| With a cocky smirk on his face, TD glares out into nothingness. Slowly, Evalina makes her way back into the picture snuggling next to her beloved King. TD places his arm around her as she cuddles her head into his chest. The scene fades to black. ||-