The scene opens up on a roadside. Cars and tractor trailers rush by towards the sunset. A thin sheen of sweat glistens on his brow. He wears nothing but black, from his Serengeti sunglasses down to the tips of his black boots. The only thing that allows us to recognize him on sight today is the ever present 'FUCK XNET' Championship over his shoulder. His long sleeves cover the tattoos and the shades cover the cold slate grey eyes, but his voice was unmistakable. He extended his arms as if to say: "I hope you weren't expecting much more than me".

Spyder Gainey: What's up motherfuckers?

He grinned that cocky little grin of his as the "Welcome to Pennsylvania" sign came into focus behind him.

Spyder Gainey: Oh it's me. The real me. Unfiltered. Undiluted and Uncensored. I don't have to be anybody but me anymore and you can bend over and get fucked if you don't like me now.

The small crew of guys that he had with him, Lowrider, Big Dick Dempsey and Just Plain Jack Jennings cracked up behind the one camera Dick held on Spyder, who raised his shades slowly, resting them on top of his head. Now it was obvious why his head was freshly shaven, just behind where the leg of his sunglasses lay on his skull, was the beginning of a long jagged row of staples that ran over half the length of the back of his skull.

SG: This isn't a work. I don't know what you've heard about what happened in Philadelphia but this...

He pointed back over his shoulder at the "Welcome to Pennsylvania" sign.

SG: ...is as close as I can get to Philadelphia after last Sunday night. And if I get treated like that...if I lose my television contract with HBO and get banned in the better part of the good ole' U. S. of A. If that's what the rules are now...fine. I'm ready. Let's play. That's why I'm here. This is as close as I can get to Philly and that's where Climax was supposed to happen live. But just because I know there are a few good people out there keeping up with what we're doing here...

He winks and blows a kiss into the camera.

SG: ...and because so...so many of you can't stand to see us not only do this, but actually get over doing it...I guess I couldn't resist. Nothing got salvaged, I don't have footage from a single match. Nine fights scheduled and not a single frame of film made it out of the fires. But that should be the last thing that anyone is worried about, we're just lucky that nobody died in the riot the caused the fires. That was just one of the reasons that HBO pulled out on Climax, but that doesn't matter either. If we're too violent and uncensored for the Pennsylvania and New York State Athletic Commissions, then we'll go to Florida where they don't have one and I'll buy television time on every little television station in South Florida. And until I can get us booked somewhere...yes...Darien Lakes Six Flags and the Tommy Hilfiger Centre called the Athletic Commission and got out of hosting us for the next two events, and I'm gonna be so busy getting us bookings and television time that there's no way we can undertake the Summer 2005 Fuck the World Tour I had planned. I've still got that one legal thing hanging over my head that I won't be able to clear up in time now, so that's definately off. You motherfuckers on my payroll might as well get yourselves a Metro Dade and a Broward County map, you're gonna need it. Which reminds me, Tony Ruiz, we're having Climax at your club soon, get it ready. Until then, you guys know the deal. Meet me out back of the tattoo shop at closing time. About 10 o'clock Sunday night, the corners of Alligator Alley and Old Dixie Highway on your Broward County maps. In the heart of Ft. Lauderdale, so you'd better hope it doesn't rain. I want all the heels over at Artie's Pub on the south side of the tattoo shop, they have their own free parking for you guys and you can use their shitters to get dressed in. And I want all the babyfaces over at Pizzano's Pizzeria. They've got beer too, so I don't want to hear anybody whining abut that...and they've got a cleaner bathroom than the bar and almost as much parking. For you new guys, you might want to get there early and make sure that they have your ring introduction music on the jukebox at the bar...if not, you'll need to get a copy of it to Lowrider and we'll just play it out of the back of his car.

He paused, looking hard into the camera.

SG: Oh yeah. It's that bad. You want a state of the union address? Ok. We should be throwing in the towel. Alot of people would. I could damn near say that everybody else would and not worry too hard about anyone else in the situation that we're in proving us wrong. But you won't ever see anyone in this position again. This is what it's like to be Independent. We've got no endorsements, no sponsorships...when I say that anybody else would surely give up, I'm saying they'd file bankruptcy to get out of paying for all the damage that we caused at The Spectrum.

He just shakes his head.

SG: Well that's not my style. You won't hear about me going out like that. First of all, anyone that didn't make it out of The Spectrum still on my payroll didn't get paid, and won't get paid. If any of you don't like you can come and try to take it out of my ass. Hell, I hear there's a bounty out on my 'FUCK XNET' Title, come try and get that and get paid that way. But that's the only way any of you quitters are gonna get paid by me. And everybody else...you know what's coming. We're paying that debt, it's all of our debt really. I didn't fuck up everything, hell I didn't start one fire.

Lowrider said something off camera.

SG: It doesn't matter if I incited the riot you little motherfucker. I don't know who you think you're talking to anyway, I'm taking ten percent of your cut too right off the top just like everybody else's until Philadelphia is happy enough not to press charges on us.

He looked hard into the camera.

SG: Everybody.

He unbuttoned another shirt button, and wiped his forehead on his shirt sleeve.

SG: Jesus H. Christ it's hot out here.

Spyder pulled his cell phone out and speed dialed someone.

SG: Air conditioning...now.

He flipped it shut and put it back on his waist.

SG: Listen...I know you guys don't want to hear all of that. But it was the quickest and most efficient way to get that informational out to all my superstars. Hell it's an invitation for all of you too. We're gonna do it up in my parking lot this coming Sunday night. There's really no way to sell tickets so just show up. We'll have some t-shirts and some of those big foam middle fingers, and I don't do any new tattoos on the day of the show so don't ask. It just pisses me off.

The long black stretched out Hummer limo pulls up screeching to a stop. The guys hop in up front and in the middle as Spyder slides in the back. He pulls a cold beer out of the small refrigerator and runs it across his forehead before he twists the cap off and takes a long pull off of it. The first thing that we notice is that it is not Jasmine awaiting him, but Trinity and Tina Romero-Holmes.

SG: First things first, like I said before, there's no footage whatsoever of Climax in Philadelphia. All we've got is me straight shooting on everything that I saw happen that night. but before I do that, I need to get one more shoot out of the way. I'm gonna go ahead and completely no-sell the relationship with Jasmine to everyone. Tina here thought that it'd be a great idea for the ratings over at XNET and to bring in a more diverse group of free agents that it would be a good idea for me to have an on camera relationship with a black woman. Not taking anything away from her, the gimmick put me over and worked like a charm but I'm not about all that anymore. I don't have to play a part for anyone this is me. The real me. Unfiltered. Undiluted and Uncensored. Take it or leave it.

He takes another long pull off of his beer finishing it. Then pointing at the camera.

SG: We have to tell them what happened in Philly, alot of people still don't know.

Trinity Holmes: Alot of people wish they could forget.

SG: Alot of people will deny that alot of this every even happened because we don't have the film that proves it...

TH: Alot of people took alot of pictures though.

SG: And it differs just a bit from person to person but everybody's basically telling the same story. And after what they heard damn near all of them have written us off.

TH: Sunday night you motherfuckers have your asses in Ft. Lauderdale...

SG: Oh they heard me, don't you doubt that. But like I said we need to tell them about Philadelphia so they'll know that they wanna go to Lauderdale for the show.

Trinity passed him another beer as he lit a long green Cuban cigar. He cracked the window just a bit and sat back.

SG: Match one...who was in match one?

TH: Annabelle Lee vs. Snake Ridge.

SG: Oh hell yeah. Now there's one for you XNET. They base one quarter of my show's ratings on storyline progression. And XNET is the worst thing that ever happened to wrestling's storylines. No one can get anything going because of all the free agency! Every Sunday night Brad has found five or six more Federations for everyone to go whore themselves in...everyone says they want the best competition, but I lose more guys because of the level of competition in my company than for any other reason alone. But I got one for you XNET. We have run a storyline to conclusion and did it in the first match of the night. Ok, remember two weeks ago when Rose Carter debuted and took out Annabelle Lee right after she beat Eden Poe? The the next week at Scandalous, Annabelle beat Rose in that 'Show us your Tits' match. So this week...what happens? Well before Ridge could even get to the ring...Rose showed up with that aluminum bat of hers and decided that it was time for us all to see Annabelle Lee's tits.

He stopped and looked dead pan into the camera.

SG: I wish that's all we would have seen. Rose stripped that bitch down butt assed naked, and let's just say that she hasn't had that last operation yet.

Nodding.

SG: That bitch had a dink. I shit you not. And when Rose saw it she got all grossed out and just went uncensored on the bitch with that baseball bat. So in match one...Ridge vs. Annabelle Lee, the winner was Rose carter and Annabelle Lee left The Spectrum on a stretcher. Now match two that was supposed to be a good one. that was two up and comers with what some thought would be bright futures ahead of them in Uncensored. We had that big reefer smoking Indian, Whitecloud fighting this new guy who painted his face like The Crow and carried this stupid rubber duck around with him everywhere. Well they were doing pretty good, gave us some solid bumps and worked for about fifteen minutes before Snake Ridge decided that he didn't like how he got left out of his own fight so he decided to get into this one. By the time he was done, he had broken some pretty important shit on both guys and was actually kind of pissed off that the crowd was cheering him for it. So in match number two, Whitecloud vs. The Painted Assassin the winner was Snake Ridge because both those guys got carried out on a stretcher like chumps. And I didn't pay them. Who fought next?

TH: Seraphis vs. JD Jaxson.

SG: Oh yeah, Jaxson won by a count out.

He stared a hole into the camera.

SG: You listen to me Seraphis...and you listen good because I will not be repeating this. I've know you for a while now and you've always been a hard worker...until lately. You been drinking too much. Now either ask me for a week off and get your shit straight, or you show up and fight when I book you to. Now I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here because I do know, and I believe that since you did no show on me that there was a life threatening issue that prevented it. But should it happen again, particularly next week in Ft. Lauderdale I will be sending Mrs. Holmes' husband to find your ass and see exactly what is wrong with it.

TH: Then that bitch Miss Perfect got her ass fired...

SG: I know...I know. I have all the fun.

Trinity actually pouted.

SG: Well first of all...you guys know how we do. You know we aren't nothing nice for the new people, but this Jordan chick...she was as stupid as a empty beer bottle and about as useful. So I meet up with her backstage and I'm fucking with her...I tell her that I needed to check out her tits before she fought. And she kind of got a blank look on her face and then she went long with it! Now I didn't think she was gonna do it...but you guys back me here. If you've seen one girls tits...well you pretty much wanna see the rest of them too. SO I was checking her tits out and this is pretty rare, but she had like the worst tits I'd ever seen. I swear to God, gravity's a motherfucker and she must have had like twelve or thirteen kids or something but nobody would have wanted to see these, and so I thought about it. And she was fighting Miss Perfect, so I knew she'd lose so I just saved us all the torture and fired her ass. And then not two seconds later...this new chick shows up, some girl I'd never seen before comes up introducing herself as Miss Perfect. Now I may not be the brightest crayon in the box but I could tell that wasn't Miss Perfect. Now the rumor is that she whored herself until she got herpes and is too ashamed to show her face anywhere, but this new girl, Kalli King was her name tried to no-sell all that and worm her way into Miss Perfect's job here. I guess Miss Perfect thought that Dirty Inc. was bigger than UWE.

TH: She was wrong...

SG: They always are. So anyhow, long story short, I made the new Miss Perfect show me her tits, and they rocked but I fired her ass anyway for not being the old Miss Perfect that I hired in the first place. So in the 'show us your tits match between Jordan and Miss Perfect...

Trinity flashed Spyder.

SG: Trinity Holmes is the winner. And then shit started to get even a little out of control for even me. First, the guy who stole one in his debut match from Priest, the Ghetto Golden Child Jamal Brooks had one stolen from him. Priest came out all quiet and shit with no ring intro and fucked up Jamal's boys and gave Tony Ruiz and easy win in his debut match with the company. Jamal's out for a week for sure, but he says he's coming back for Priest just as soon as he is cleared to medically. Time will tell though huh? Jamal says one week, but after the beating he and his boys took last Sunday from first Ruiz, then Priest, I don't know...it may be two. Now right after that we had what I was thinking would be the show stealer match of the night. Damn what a disappointment. Now I mean no disrespect to The Edge Jared Masori, on the contrary, any guy who can dismantle Jake Matthews that quickly is alright by me. And this was for the right to be called the number one contender to the NC-17 title, but Masori dismantled Matthews like he was just some bum off the street and sent him on his way on his back on a stretcher with no pay.

Spyder relit his cigar.

So that makes you the number one contender to the NC-17 title huh Masori? Well I'll tell you what, I'll do you one better. Or I'll give you the chance to do yourself one better anyway. I was talking to Priest after the show in Philly when we were in the holding cell together and he told me you guys had never fought back in CMW, so I think that next week in Ft. Lauderdale I'm gonna Main Event that. But check this out...the winner is going to fight JXD next month at Bad Meets Evil for the Primo Title. And the loser...he's still gonna be a bad motherfucker in my eyes so that's who's gonna fight Corey Ramirez at Bad Meets Evil for the NC-17 Title.

Spyder took a couple of pulls off of his cigar before continuing.

SG: Now I'm partially inclined to allow Priest this opportunity because of what all happened with his match last week. Now first of all I want to say that from what I saw of the Priest vs. Asher Dubois fight that it was awesome. Without a doubt the showstealer of the night. And it was even one of the top reasons that HBO killed our television deal with them. Miss Perfect's little company, XWA puts on a Wednesday night show for HBO called Warfare, it's an hour long. Their whole fucking show is an hour long...Priest and Asher fought for sixty eight minutes before we got a pinfall. An hour and eight minutes before we got a winner. They know how we do here, they not to bring their asses back to the locker rooms tied or some shit. Lowrider wouldn't have let them stop fighting anyway, and if they would've stopped then he'd have probably kicked both their asses. So we have an awesome battle between two of the baddest men on the roster and all HBO can say is ten minute time limit. Fuck that. Now I missed most of what happened in the ring, everybody knows that me and Syko got into it backstage during that fight. Everybody knows what happened and no matter what happened, I still say that from what I saw leading up to the match that Corey Ramirez really did have his number that night in Philly and would've taken him. Corey sold more t-shirts than Syko that night and he hit that move on him too in the ring. So first, I kicked Syko's ass backstage while Priest kicked Asher's ass in the ring. And then Corey Ramirez kicked Syko's ass again in the ring.

TH: And then everything went to hell in a handbasket.

SG: Fuckin' Diaz wants to show up late as usual wearing that XNET World Title and wanting to talk shit about how I needed to rethink my decision to do business with XNET because he was their champ and that I needed to work on my people skills when dealing with my employees.

TH: Well that'd be the candy coated version of that.

SG: Whatever it is, that's when I spit in his face and told him that he wouldn't be fighting for the UWE Primo Title as long as he was the XNET Champ...so he wants to puff his chest up and try to tell me about his contract...now I wrote the motherfucker but he wants to tell me about it. So I showed him the fine print on it...I showed him where it said four fucking promos each...hell I only got five from both of them. Fuck that. When they want to get ready to fight for my big gold then we'll put on that fight. I don't have time for Diaz as long as he's bullshitting me and trying to pull this off as a part time job while he claims my big gold.  Sorry...that's a full time job around here. That's when his attention was completely on me and JXD blindsided him and beat that ass down.

TH: And then a riot started...

SG: Well Philly is notorious for raucous and rowdy crowds and this one was brutal. Not only that, they were pissed when they figured out that they weren't going to see JXD defend the title to Diaz. And I wanted them to riot because I wanted that XNET World Title destroyed...

TH: Well you got what you wanted then.

SG: And it was worth it to destroy that Title. I don't recognize that title and a lifetime ban from XNET was worth it to prove that. I do regret all of the personal injuries to the citizens of Philadelphia and all of the damage to The Spectrum, but you got to break a few eggs to make an omelet this damned good. Now...it's just us everybody.

TH: It's about damned time.

SG: No more of those big XNET 'names' to draw the ratings. No more endorsements or sponsorships...but we've got our pride...and our dignity and the motherfuckers that didn't make it this far can't say that. You guys are the true blue uncensored crew that keeps my world rockin' and rollin' and I can't wait to see you guys in Ft. Lauderdale this Sunday night...

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