I'm my greatest weakness, I'm the reason I very well might fail in this thing.

I wish it wasn't true, I wish I could really go into that match without a worry in the world...but I've made that impossible for myself. There's a part of me hoping like hell that some sort of voice will come into my mind and give me the advice I need to go on to the finals of this thing with my head held high, to actually be able to defeat all three of my opponents.

Then there's another part, a part of me saying to just give up trying. A part of me saying that all this, all my efforts...are all just a lost cause. I'm not going to be able to beat the combined forces of three people who, even if sometimes just obscurely, have a history with me.

After all, what am I supposed to do if the three of them work together to take me out? How can I last when I've got three dangerous individuals shooting to take me out?

I'm worried, you know...worried that despite all my efforts I still won't have enough to take them out. I'm worried that I'm not strong enough, that I don't have the drive to make it through the match, or the will power to keep standing despite superhuman efforts by them to keep me down.

I need a miracle, some sort of angel to help me on my way up the stairway to heaven...but I know I'm at a loss there, because there are no angels to help guide me now. There is no stairway I can climb to the heavens, and there sure as hell isn't any gates for me to pass through into the illustrious list of world champions that have graced the HWF's legacy.

I'm just a regular human being, a man against odds stacked so high that even now I am beginning to doubt myself, even I am beginning to worry if I have enough to make it through.

All in all, however, I'm still not going to give in. Sure, I'll admit it right here and now; I do have alot of weaknesses, and sure, they'll be able to exploit them and take me out of the match thanks to them rather easily if they wanted to. That still won't stop me from trying, though. I'm still going to give them everything I damn well have in hopes of winning this thing.

It truly is important to me to win this, more then I can possibly say. This isn't for bragging rights, this isn't for a shot at the world title, this isn't so I can be chiseled into the list of the best the HWF has seen...

This is so I'll finally feel complete, so I'll finally know that I really can pull it off....that I really can make my dreams come true.

I'm still unsure you see, I still don't know if I can. In many ways yes, I'm still just a child trapped inside a 27 year old man's body. I'm just as unsure of myself now as I was back in my teenaged years, and I'm becoming more and more unstable as the stress keeps mounting with every passing day.

Even Suki is having problems trying to help me now.

I've become my own weakness, and I have no idea how to stop it. I've become a desperate man doing everything he can just to find truth to his dreams, praying never to wake up to a harsh reality that says he really is just nothing...and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being envious, of being under so much stress that it feels like at any moment I'm going to snap and rip someone to shreds. I'm afraid of what might happen if my anger gets the best of me, and I'm tired of being afraid.

I'm tired of running through the desert...I'm tired of looking to past memories that aren't going to help me, and by God...I'm tired of never being able to touch the moon or walk alongside the angels.

I'm tired of not being able to, but I'm not going to give up. I'm still going to try, and this time? This time...I'm going to do it.