Dominic Pericolo :: Inamorata

Did you ever get the feeling that you were in the right place in the wrong time? The feeling that seconds earlier, you would have fit perfectly into the scene that is displayed before your very eyes? As the figures of the people before you dance about as mere reflections in your eyes, the shock kicks in and you cannot speak. You cannot breathe.

You feel as though you're someone else, someone so different from yourself that for brief moments in time, you actually forget who you are.

These feelings don't always neccesarily have to be bad ones, as a matter of fact on a good majority of the time the shock leaves you with a warm, pleasent feeling dwelling in your heart. The problem is that you cannot express it, so built inside you that it scares you to let out the feelings in word form. Though you cannot capture the trueness of these feelings, and though it is difficult to come close, you still fear of losing it all with the mere mutterence of four simple words. Four words that hold the power to make the very person someone is change. Four simple words.

I love you too.

Love. A word that old Webster has been struggling to define all his life. A struggle that will inevitably be pointless in nature, for it's impossible to ever define love. To ever put it to words that properly describe the feeling. Why, the word love itself is but a small shell that holds some symblance to it's meaning, a word that could never capture the strength of the emotion and yet somehow delivers an impact so strong that it floors you. It drives the very precious breaths from your lungs and makes you struggle to breathe.

I love Suki Minamoto.

Four words, four words I never thought I could ever utter. Four words that hold such a grip on my very life that at times I feel helpless, and in others feel as though I could shake the Earth to it's very core. Feelings that somehow, someway, make me a stronger person then I could ever be on my own. This is the power of love, this is the power of devotion. This...is life's ultimate gift to me.

I loved Crystal Parker.

In the years leading up to the night she died, I loved Crystal with every fiber of my being. After I fought out of my coma, I stayed by her side as often as I could. Inevitably, it would seem, she finall passed and left me with a void in my heart that at one point in my life I truly believed could never be filled. Truly believed would always remain, tearing at my very soul and sucking my very existence out of my body and into the vast endlessness of space itself. Time was no longer an issue; minutes became hours, hours became days, days became weeks, weeks became months and months became years. The cycle continued forward until I felt so aged that I woke up wondering if I would make it through the day alive.

Fearing a heart attack in your early 20s, a comical thing. Wouldn't you say so?

Over time, time returned to it's normal pace. No longer at the dead crawl, I felt myself fighting for a dream I'd held since my childhood. I felt myself fighting to become the wrestler my family and friends knew I could one day become. Now here I am, in the HWF and in a tournament known as 'When Worlds Collide'.

It's fitting that after all this time, an old dream becomes a reality and a shattered one turns to hope for the future. It's fitting that my closest friend throughout my childhood years would return during the accomplishments of my dreams, only to bring me a new one. A dream of the future, a dream of myself and another.

A dream of myself and Suki Minamoto.

There was a time where I would scoff at the very idea that I could ever feel love for another person in the manner in which I loved Crystal, and yet here I am. Years ago I would have laughed, and as a child a blush would creep up my face as the telltale giggles of my friends signalled their hopes of it being true. It was joked that Suki and Crystal 'shared' me sometimes, and often times they played up to this by Crystal handing me off to Suki. It was a joke between our group of friends, a joke that I remember clearly to this day.

A joke that, ironically, would become a reality.

The proverbial passing of the torch. Crystal to Suki, and yet her memory still lingers. The love I held for her is still there, though it has faded in time to a mere memory I still feel it within me, just as strong as it was all those years ago. It's own unique place within my heart, mind and soul.

Suki has found her way through the solid steel walls that gaurd my heart, with a gentle carress of her hand the walls crumbled and she passed through, as though it were meant to be. The walls have been rebuilt, and now I share my heart with this innocent intruder, this angelic criminal who has broken into my heart.

Suki Minamoto has done more for me in this lifetime then I ever thought she could. She has brought me back from the bottom, she has kept me strong when I grow weary. She brought me back to the HWF, back to my dream. She's the reason I'm fighting now, she's the one who pushes me forward.

When my family, my friends watched as Steve Sharp defeated me and retained his title...I was crushed. I had failed them, I had failed the fans, I had failed myself and most importantly I failed her. I had came so close to accomplishing the highest point of my dream, the greatest feat that I could do. So close, and yet it still wasn't enough to warrant any accomplishment.

I gave Sharp a bigger fight then he thought I would, I forced him to take me down with two finishers. I still lost, there's nothing to excuse that. He could have been forced to cheat just to win, but the matter would still be that I lost. There's nothing that I can do about it really, I just have to keep fighting forward in hopes that one day I'll reach that level again.

One day...it seems so far off now.

When Worlds Collide, a chance for me to accomplish something like this high mountain of my dreams. Though not quite the peak in which I'm searching, it serves as a suitable replacement for now. A replacement that, like many other temporary replacements, won't satisfy me for too long.

But I'm not here to speak about the HWF, nor am I to speak of When Worlds Collide. I'm not here to tell you how I shall destroy A.E. Clipse, I'm not here to describe in detail the reasons of which he is not a suitable contendor for myself, nor shall I speak on the issues that seperate us and makes his failure an inevitable one. For this is not about A.E. Clipse. This is not about a man confusing himself with a phenominal act of the heavens.

This is about Dominic Pericolo. This is about Suki Minamoto. This is about the people that I love, that I care for, and that have impacted my life in ways that I never thought imaginable. This is about my life, my loves, and the people that matter to me.

The good and the bad, it does not matter. For so many have influenced me in so many ways that it will be hard to list them all. However, when has Dominic Pericolo been known as one to give up? When have I been known to simply back down from a challenge, be it in the ring or in a parlor room with a pen in my hand and paper before me? A typewriter with a clean sheet of paper, new ink and a mind jumbled with thoughts? A computer with a Notepad program, allowing me to type out my thoughts before placing them on a website that would bring my message out to the world?

I've never backed down from a challenge. I've never given up on a struggle. However, I do admit in giving up one thing, one thing that had I not given up on I would have never evolved in ways that confuse me even today.

I gave up on refusing to love. I gave up on my pride, on my younger version's will to stay true to his beliefs. These beliefs have evolved now, and realizations have been made that I was struggling to find a mere few years ago.

I've given up once in my life, and it was all for the greater good of myself. Years ago you could place a gun to my head and I would fear nothing, but now I fear leaving those I care for behind. Suki has instilled a love of my own life in me that I've never felt since all the years before the accident took Crystal's life.

Suki has saved me from myself, Suki has became my shining beacon of life in a turbulent sea that has been trying to swallow me for nearly a decade now. Suki Minamoto has replaced the North Star of the heavens, has become my shepard leading me down the pathway to where I belong here on Earth.

When I never did anything to warrant such life altering actions from her, she stepped forward and performed them anyway. When I was lost and too stubborn to call for help, she provided a pathway that led me on a trail towards the very gates of heaven. When I fell from grace, she caught me in her gentle arms and lifted me high once more, her very aura comforting my soul and troubled mind.

Suki Minamoto. The name in itself sounds so innocent, so caring and loving. If only the world knew who Suki Minamoto truly was, if only they saw the impact she's made on their supposed hero's life. To those who look up to me, look up to her as well. For if it weren't for her there would be no Dominic Pericolo. There would be no words on this peice of paper, no pen in my hand or keyboard under my watchful fingers.

There would be no 3 time North American champion with an inpronouncible last name. There would just be another man trying to live some carbon copy of the american dream, minus the glamorous lifestyle that Hollywood movies portray on the big screen.

But here I am, thanks to Suki Minamoto there is a Dominic Pericolo. There is a 'hero' that you can look to for support, for understanding. Though I may not understand what I have done to warrant such a status in all of your minds, I do appreciate your views and welcome them with open arms. You're not just my fans...you're my family. You're my support, and though you may not guide me down the path or fuel my desire to go out there and perform for all of you, you are still important to me.

Suki Minamoto is my guide, my support, my fuel and my desire. She is everything and more, she has accomplished a certain since of serenity within her life that I could only ever hope to accomplish before my own life ends.

Looking back over everything that I've poured from my heart and soul, I find myself breathlessly amazed that in these short hours so much has escaped my mind and found its way onto paper thanks to one special girl in my life. Everything that Suki Minamoto has done for me...she is the reason I am here.

She is the reason I faced Steve Sharp.

She is the reason I will face A.E. Clipse.

And inevitably, she will be the reason that I accomplish the highest peak of my dreams one day. And when I reach that peak, when I reach that all-time high...I know that she shall be there with me.

And to think that all of this started with four simple words that were never meant to be uttered in my presence. For simply words that have impacted me so drastically that I feel as though at any minute my very chest shall explode from the very pressure this happiness is causing me. My skin feels tight, my cheeks hurt from the smiles that seem permanently etched upon them. Who would have ever known that the power of four simple words spoken in the span of a mere few seconds ccould impact a peson for the rest of their life?

This is the power of love.

I love you too, Suki...

I love you too.

"I love you, Dominic..."

The words were spoken so softly that it was a wonder I could make them out into an audible sentence. Words spoken so sweetly that the very air changed around me, as though the room I was in had changed into some sort of endless field, a light breeze and a comforting scent that filled my senses and allowed me to breathe easy.

I was standing outside her door, a door in which she left open much like the door of my heart had been for her for so long without my knowing. I could see her staring at a picture of us together at an HWF event, a loving smile on her face. Though she did not know of my presence, she still felt the desire to speak her words and she spoke them in volumes, though soft they did come from her lips.

"I love you."

I wanted to enter her room, to hold her close and whisper to her that I loved her as well. I wanted to tell her everything that I felt for her, no matter how long it may take. I wanted to hold her and never allow her to be alone again. I just wished so badly to hold her near to me and feel her heartbeat against my skin, to reveal a truth to her I'd been hiding for so long.

My mind was screaming words of encouragement at me, 'Go! This is your chance! For so long you've wished to say this now, and you know the truth! She loves you back! She loves you back!!'

I'll admit to many things, and among them is my tendency to be a coward to my own emotions.

I stumbled away from the scene, much like a drunken man intoxicated from the very passion that four simple words held in them as they entered his ears and traveled through his very body. His brain would send pleasing signals to his chest, his heart would pump the life-giving blood throughout his body with a new purpose, a purpose that would allow him to feel the emotions building up within his very soul. His mind would become a twister of thoughts as he tried to process the information coming in, and he would inevitably see that in his heart and soul, he too loved the woman who spoke so dearly of him.

I was this drunken man, I was this intoxicated fool. I quietly opened the front door, stumbling out into the cold night air. I had been planning to go out and get some food, as I was craving a nighttime snack of some sort. Unsure of whether or not Suki wanted anything as I thought I heard her up, I had approached her door to check. What I thought would be a request for perhaps a hamburger of some sort turned into a confession the likes of which are rivaled by none on this Earth or anywhere else.

Love has a strange way of capturing you in it's grasp and not letting go, of entangling you in it's web much like the spider does to the fly. However, love does not encase you in this web with venomous intent; rather a much gentler, meaningful manner. It's hard to explain the effects love has on a person, it is an experience one must have for themselves to share with another. It's an experience all are welcome to try, but few can wrap their minds around. True love seems rare now, with the divorce rates of our nation steadily rising. It's as though the words "'till death do us part" have been changed to "'till death or another woman and/or man enters our lives do us part". Perhaps even "'till death or I get bored of you do us part."

It's disgusting to see the ammount of false love traded throughout this world now. Offers of fake commitments whilst you try to sneak in a little action on the side. It's becomming an accepted trait to have nowadays, as morals steadily find their way slipping through the window and out into oblivion.

However, as I found myself closing the front door to proceed into the front yard of this house we had temporarily rented for staying the week, I was not concerned with the matters of the rest of the worlds relationships but instead of my own. The thought of food was pushed out of my mind, my stomach all ready full from the butterflies that seemed to flutter about within me, tickling me from inside and causing me to smile in a manner that I've never smiled before. A true smile, a smile of acceptance and love.

I laughed happily, thinking of my friends and family, even my own enemies. How would they react to this? My father would probably pop me one in the shoulder and joke with me, congratulating me and encouraging me to follow my heart and tell her the truth. My mother would hold me close, profess to me how much I've grown and how proud of me she was.

Michael Trey might stay silent, as Chris Davison remembered better times. Jonathan Fuller might even offer me a drink as Matthew Logan stood in the background, ranting away about Crystal in a pointless attempt to rile me up and leave me vulnerable to attack. Perhaps Sharp would stutter on my last name, ask me who I am and who Suki Minamoto is. Perhaps even obsess over himself just that little bit more.

Why, Chris Champion would probably demand that he set up the first date before calling me a bastard for avoiding it so long. Oh, and probably remind me that I still owe him that 10k we bet on.

I gazed up at the stars, my mind adrift in a vast sea of emotion. It was as though I was lost in this sea but did not wish to be found, to never leave this amazing place. I wished to only share this world with Suki, to stay on this seemingly endless sea and watch the sky pass over, watch where it all may lead us to. I looked longingly back towards the house, every fiber of my being struggling to force itself back, my mind screaming at me to take the chance. To give love a try one more time. Promises to myself being made; that nothing would go wrong, that her and I would spend the rest of our lives together. She would always be there for me and I her. That no matter what ever happened, we would be there for one another.

My heart in overdrive, I stepped back to the door to place my hand on the door knob, the cool brass lightly touching my hand as I half-heartedly held it, before letting it go and falling gently against the door. I sighed happily, staring back up at the sky. I knew the truth now, I knew there was nothing left to fear. No one could take this moment away from me, from us. I wanted to make my own revelation as good for her as I could, I wanted to let the whole world know. Now, granted, I don't believe that taking air time from the HWF would be the best idea to do such a thing...but I do have my ideas. Though I failed to accomplish one dream as I promised I would before the end of this year, I would not fail to accomplish the other.

I fumbled with the front door knob, managing to open the door and stumble back into the house. The switch in temperatures strangely comforted me, as cold became warm and my body adjusted to this new feeling about me. I closed the door and walked back towards my room, passing hers once more and looking inside. She was asleep now, a smile on her face on the picture of us still sitting in front of her.

Her blankets were bundled at her feet and though she was sleeping in such an innocent manner that I couldn't help but picture her as an angel; her glowing white wings illuminating the room in a serene manner that surrounded her image of perfection, I noticed her shivvering from the slight coldness of the room. She enjoyed cool temperatures, but bundling up in blankets to keep warm in the cold somehow comforted her. I suppose she was just too tired to cover herself in blankets tonight.

I found myself walking into her room, every step just as light as the other for fear of waking this sleeping beauty up from her peaceful slumber. I took hold of the bundle of blannkets and lifted them gently, draping them over her frail form. My eyes softened as I seen her smile in her sleeping, taking hold of her blankets and holding them close as she rubbed her face gently into the pillow. My heart was seemingly melting inside of my chest, giving the butterflies in my stomach nourishment for survival. I felt as though any moment I may break down and cry from the happiness flowing within me. Never before had I felt so alive...never before had I felt so free.

I quietly left her room, walking in the direction of my own once again. As I entered and readied myself for sleep once again, my mind was still lost within that sea of turbulent thoughts, each one striking me with such a soft force that the very wind within my lungs couldn't help but come out to carress this force as it drove that wind from my being. I closed my eyes as I changed one moment and found myself opening them to the scene of my ceiling, as I lie in bed staring up at it.

It felt as though years had became weeks, weeks had became hours, hours had became seconds, and every second passed was another lifetime of happiness that had gone by within my mind. Another eternity spent with Suki in my dreams, another forever experienced within my very being. So much power in those four little words, the effect they had on my was so strong that I was actually contemplating on how I could possibly handle such an amazing feeling. I couldn't sleep, all tiredness was replaced by a strange, almost excited sense of anxiousness. I sat up, leaving the cofined comfort of my bed and pacing about my room. The computer loomed omniously in the corner, almost begging to be used as an outlet for all these thoughts and emotions dwelling within my mind. I approached it and started it up, the hum of the computer reminding me much of the rapid beating of my elated heart.

A happy sigh escaped my lips as the moments it took the computer to load everything passed like seconds, my happiness seemingly speeding time for me in ways that many high school students would wish they could exploit whilst sitting in their math classes, the teacher droning on about algebraic equations and the like.

As I opened up the program known simply as 'Notepad', millions of thoughts seemed to rush through my mind. My fingers were anxious to get to their merciless assault of the keys on the keyboard. Their brutal intent of massacring the keys evident in their constant twitching as I held them inches above the device. Once Notepad had loaded I got to typing, my thoughts tumbling out much like waves on an ocean.

And thus we come to the present time, as I sit here it's presently 2:00 AM in the morning. In the span of a mere two hours I have written down my thoughts and emotions in a manner of which I did not know was possible for me to do. In these two hours that I've spent typing on my computer I've barely even scraped the surface of these feelings I hold deep inside me, and yet I know that this was well enough for me to finish with. So many things are left over to say and yet I know no way of expressing them in words that would be understandable to any man, including myself. All I can go on is feeling, all I can go on is this thing we tend to call love, though the word itself does the feeling no justice at all.

Love, infatuation, affection, devotion, fondness.

All words that mean the same and yet cannot capture the true meaning of the word.

Inamorata.

A woman with whom one is in love with. A word linked to another word that cannot begin to interpret itself, and yet speaks in volumes we as humans cannot speak nor write whatsoever. And yet somehow, someway, we are sstill able to feel these emotions that seem to make us feel as though we could burst at any moment. I love Suki Minamoto, I truly, undoubtedly love Suki Minamoto.

She is my inamorata.

She is my love.

She is my reason.

She is my very life.

And to think...this all started with four simple words, words that brought forth an onslaught of thoughts, feelings, emotions and words that have been bottled within me for so long..

"I love you, Dominic..."

I love you too, Suki. I love you too.