Dominic Pericolo :: Inamorata

"I love you, Dominic..."

The words were spoken so softly that it was a wonder I could make them out into an audible sentence. Words spoken so sweetly that the very air changed around me, as though the room I was in had changed into some sort of endless field, a light breeze and a comforting scent that filled my senses and allowed me to breathe easy.

I was standing outside her door, a door in which she left open much like the door of my heart had been for her for so long without my knowing. I could see her staring at a picture of us together at an HWF event, a loving smile on her face. Though she did not know of my presence, she still felt the desire to speak her words and she spoke them in volumes, though soft they did come from her lips.

"I love you."

I wanted to enter her room, to hold her close and whisper to her that I loved her as well. I wanted to tell her everything that I felt for her, no matter how long it may take. I wanted to hold her and never allow her to be alone again. I just wished so badly to hold her near to me and feel her heartbeat against my skin, to reveal a truth to her I'd been hiding for so long.

My mind was screaming words of encouragement at me, 'Go! This is your chance! For so long you've wished to say this now, and you know the truth! She loves you back! She loves you back!!'

I'll admit to many things, and among them is my tendency to be a coward to my own emotions.

I stumbled away from the scene, much like a drunken man intoxicated from the very passion that four simple words held in them as they entered his ears and traveled through his very body. His brain would send pleasing signals to his chest, his heart would pump the life-giving blood throughout his body with a new purpose, a purpose that would allow him to feel the emotions building up within his very soul. His mind would become a twister of thoughts as he tried to process the information coming in, and he would inevitably see that in his heart and soul, he too loved the woman who spoke so dearly of him.

I was this drunken man, I was this intoxicated fool. I quietly opened the front door, stumbling out into the cold night air. I had been planning to go out and get some food, as I was craving a nighttime snack of some sort. Unsure of whether or not Suki wanted anything as I thought I heard her up, I had approached her door to check. What I thought would be a request for perhaps a hamburger of some sort turned into a confession the likes of which are rivaled by none on this Earth or anywhere else.

Love has a strange way of capturing you in it's grasp and not letting go, of entangling you in it's web much like the spider does to the fly. However, love does not encase you in this web with venomous intent; rather a much gentler, meaningful manner. It's hard to explain the effects love has on a person, it is an experience one must have for themselves to share with another. It's an experience all are welcome to try, but few can wrap their minds around. True love seems rare now, with the divorce rates of our nation steadily rising. It's as though the words "'till death do us part" have been changed to "'till death or another woman and/or man enters our lives do us part". Perhaps even "'till death or I get bored of you do us part."

It's disgusting to see the ammount of false love traded throughout this world now. Offers of fake commitments whilst you try to sneak in a little action on the side. It's becomming an accepted trait to have nowadays, as morals steadily find their way slipping through the window and out into oblivion.

However, as I found myself closing the front door to proceed into the front yard of this house we had temporarily rented for staying the week, I was not concerned with the matters of the rest of the worlds relationships but instead of my own. The thought of food was pushed out of my mind, my stomach all ready full from the butterflies that seemed to flutter about within me, tickling me from inside and causing me to smile in a manner that I've never smiled before. A true smile, a smile of acceptance and love.

I laughed happily, thinking of my friends and family, even my own enemies. How would they react to this? My father would probably pop me one in the shoulder and joke with me, congratulating me and encouraging me to follow my heart and tell her the truth. My mother would hold me close, profess to me how much I've grown and how proud of me she was.

Michael Trey might stay silent, as Chris Davison remembered better times. Jonathan Fuller might even offer me a drink as Matthew Logan stood in the background, ranting away about Crystal in a pointless attempt to rile me up and leave me vulnerable to attack. Perhaps Sharp would stutter on my last name, ask me who I am and who Suki Minamoto is. Perhaps even obsess over himself just that little bit more.

Why, Chris Champion would probably demand that he set up the first date before calling me a bastard for avoiding it so long. Oh, and probably remind me that I still owe him that 10k we bet on.

I gazed up at the stars, my mind adrift in a vast sea of emotion. It was as though I was lost in this sea but did not wish to be found, to never leave this amazing place. I wished to only share this world with Suki, to stay on this seemingly endless sea and watch the sky pass over, watch where it all may lead us to. I looked longingly back towards the house, every fiber of my being struggling to force itself back, my mind screaming at me to take the chance. To give love a try one more time. Promises to myself being made; that nothing would go wrong, that her and I would spend the rest of our lives together. She would always be there for me and I her. That no matter what ever happened, we would be there for one another.

My heart in overdrive, I stepped back to the door to place my hand on the door knob, the cool brass lightly touching my hand as I half-heartedly held it, before letting it go and falling gently against the door. I sighed happily, staring back up at the sky. I knew the truth now, I knew there was nothing left to fear. No one could take this moment away from me, from us. I wanted to make my own revelation as good for her as I could, I wanted to let the whole world know. Now, granted, I don't believe that taking air time from the HWF would be the best idea to do such a thing...but I do have my ideas. Though I failed to accomplish one dream as I promised I would before the end of this year, I would not fail to accomplish the other.

I fumbled with the front door knob, managing to open the door and stumble back into the house. The switch in temperatures strangely comforted me, as cold became warm and my body adjusted to this new feeling about me. I closed the door and walked back towards my room, passing hers once more and looking inside. She was asleep now, a smile on her face on the picture of us still sitting in front of her.

Her blankets were bundled at her feet and though she was sleeping in such an innocent manner that I couldn't help but picture her as an angel; her glowing white wings illuminating the room in a serene manner that surrounded her image of perfection, I noticed her shivvering from the slight coldness of the room. She enjoyed cool temperatures, but bundling up in blankets to keep warm in the cold somehow comforted her. I suppose she was just too tired to cover herself in blankets tonight.

I found myself walking into her room, every step just as light as the other for fear of waking this sleeping beauty up from her peaceful slumber. I took hold of the bundle of blannkets and lifted them gently, draping them over her frail form. My eyes softened as I seen her smile in her sleeping, taking hold of her blankets and holding them close as she rubbed her face gently into the pillow. My heart was seemingly melting inside of my chest, giving the butterflies in my stomach nourishment for survival. I felt as though any moment I may break down and cry from the happiness flowing within me. Never before had I felt so alive...never before had I felt so free.

I quietly left her room, walking in the direction of my own once again. As I entered and readied myself for sleep once again, my mind was still lost within that sea of turbulent thoughts, each one striking me with such a soft force that the very wind within my lungs couldn't help but come out to carress this force as it drove that wind from my being. I closed my eyes as I changed one moment and found myself opening them to the scene of my ceiling, as I lie in bed staring up at it.

It felt as though years had became weeks, weeks had became hours, hours had became seconds, and every second passed was another lifetime of happiness that had gone by within my mind. Another eternity spent with Suki in my dreams, another forever experienced within my very being. So much power in those four little words, the effect they had on my was so strong that I was actually contemplating on how I could possibly handle such an amazing feeling. I couldn't sleep, all tiredness was replaced by a strange, almost excited sense of anxiousness. I sat up, leaving the cofined comfort of my bed and pacing about my room. The computer loomed omniously in the corner, almost begging to be used as an outlet for all these thoughts and emotions dwelling within my mind. I approached it and started it up, the hum of the computer reminding me much of the rapid beating of my elated heart.

A happy sigh escaped my lips as the moments it took the computer to load everything passed like seconds, my happiness seemingly speeding time for me in ways that many high school students would wish they could exploit whilst sitting in their math classes, the teacher droning on about algebraic equations and the like.

As I opened up the program known simply as 'Notepad', millions of thoughts seemed to rush through my mind. My fingers were anxious to get to their merciless assault of the keys on the keyboard. Their brutal intent of massacring the keys evident in their constant twitching as I held them inches above the device. Once Notepad had loaded I got to typing, my thoughts tumbling out much like waves on an ocean.

And thus we come to the present time, as I sit here it's presently 2:00 AM in the morning. In the span of a mere two hours I have written down my thoughts and emotions in a manner of which I did not know was possible for me to do. In these two hours that I've spent typing on my computer I've barely even scraped the surface of these feelings I hold deep inside me, and yet I know that this was well enough for me to finish with. So many things are left over to say and yet I know no way of expressing them in words that would be understandable to any man, including myself. All I can go on is feeling, all I can go on is this thing we tend to call love, though the word itself does the feeling no justice at all.

Love, infatuation, affection, devotion, fondness.

All words that mean the same and yet cannot capture the true meaning of the word.

Inamorata.

A woman with whom one is in love with. A word linked to another word that cannot begin to interpret itself, and yet speaks in volumes we as humans cannot speak nor write whatsoever. And yet somehow, someway, we are sstill able to feel these emotions that seem to make us feel as though we could burst at any moment. I love Suki Minamoto, I truly, undoubtedly love Suki Minamoto.

She is my inamorata.

She is my love.

She is my reason.

She is my very life.

And to think...this all started with four simple words, words that brought forth an onslaught of thoughts, feelings, emotions and words that have been bottled within me for so long..

"I love you, Dominic..."

I love you too, Suki. I love you too.