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| Bourne |
[The
scene is set on a stage where an audience of around 200 people are
watching. People have obviously bought tickets to see this show, but
what they don't know they are going to get a surprise visitor]
Announcer - Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome on stage at this time.... JEFF DUNHAM!!
[The
crowd cheer wildly, If you didn't know Jeff Dunham is a Ventriloquist,
and a mighty popular one at that. 60 million views on Youtube.com alone
for his act feature Achmed the dead terrorist. Jeff comes onto the
stage with his briefcase and also bringing out the popular dummy
himself, Achmed.]
Jeff Dunham - Thank You thank you! Tonight is a very special night indeed.
[Jeff looks at Achmed]
Achmed - Special Night, is this where I get my 72 Virgins?
Jeff - No, tonight we have a special guest on our show... and a new friend in the briefcase.
Achmed - Is that why you been carrying me with your hand up my ass all day. Holy Crap!
[The fans laugh at the now trademark quote]
Jeff
- Tonight, we have a wrestler, used to wrestle in CWR now he is
fighting for the King of the Deathmatch title in the WWCF, Ladies and
Gentlemen...
[Jeff is interupted by Achmed]
Achmed - Deathmatch! I was once asked to fight in one of those...
Jeff - What Happened?
Achmed - Apparently you aren't allowed to be dead.
Jeff - Thats too bad...
Achmed - I know, I really think it was because the challenge backed out.... RARR!
[Achmed looks at Jeff and raises his eyebrows]
Achmed - Would that scare you?
Jeff - Not Really...
Achmed - God Dammit.
[The crowd laugh]
Jeff - Anywho, here he is... BOURNE!
[Bourne comes on the stage and he gets cheers from the crowd. He comes and shakes Jeffs hand and looks at Achmed and laughs]
Achmed - Do you not want to shake my hand? You Racist Bastard!
[The Crowd laughs as Achmed looks at them]
Achmed - SILENCE! I KILL YOU!
[The crowd laugh again and Jeff then talks to Bourne]
Jeff - So how is life treating you as a Wrestler Bourne?
Bourne - It is going pretty good... I am fighting in my first Pay Per View this week. Fighting for a championship...
Achmed - So you are going to kick some guys ass for a belt?
Bourne - Indeed.
Achmed - And people call me crazy, I only blew up a car!
Bourne - yeah.... anyways. Hows life in the Comedy Jeff?
Jeff - Its all good! People love Achmed, Walter...
Bourne - Yeah! Walter is fantastic, I remember when I used to dabble in this business.
Jeff - So I heard, so I have brought a friend for you Bourne. Would you all like me to bring him out?
[The crowd cheers. Jeff walks over the to suitcase with Achmed in his hand still]
Achmed - Holy Crap, I'm in the Air again!
[The
Crowd laughs as Jeff Opens his suitcase and takes out an object
under a blanket, he passes it to put and tells Bourne to put his hand
in the hole]
Achmed - I wouldn't do that if I was you, Mr Hurricane may have got bored!
[Bourne puts the object on his hand and uncovers the blanket, revealing a Crow]
Jeff - Everyone say hello to DRAVEN THE RAVEN!
[The crowd laugh as Bourne starts talking with the puppet. Bourne puts on a high pitched voice]
Draven - Oh my god! Bourne! Why am I on your hand? Last time we met you put a foot up my ass!
[The crowd laugh]
Achmed - Psst. Amatuer!
Jeff - What do you mean Achmed?
Achmed - He's on Drugs! His lips are moving!
Jeff - They did not?
Achmed - Not Bournes, the Ravens! I Swear it just talked!
Jeff - It did talk...
Draven - I kill you Achmed...
Achmed - But I'm already dead. And watching your last performance you should be eating worms!
Jeff - That wasn't really funny Achmed.
Bourne - So why bring me out Draven the Raven?
Jeff - Well I figured since Eric Draven doesn't speak out, maybe you could get a dummy to do it for you!
Draven - KARKOOOR!
Bourne - I see what you are saying! But if he doesn't speak.... then I will do the talking in the ring!
Achmed - Oo tough Guy!
Bourne - I bet I could fight you Achmed!
Achmed - I Kill you!
[Bourne
walks over to Achmed and gentley pulls his head off, much to the crowds
laughter. Bourne Holds his head up in the air and the crowd cheer.
Bourne then places Achmeds head back on his body]
Achmed - You Racist Bastard!
Bourne - It was nice meeting you too Achmed.
Achmed - When aren't look I'm going to kill your Raven, Hahahaha
[Achmed does his evil laugh]
Draven - KAKOOOR!
Jeff - Ladies and Gentlemen.... BOURNE!
[Bourne
waves to the crowd and shakes Jeffs hand, Bourne goes to shake Achmeds
hand but Achmed tries to bite him. Bourne passes Draven to Jeff and
walks off stage]
Achmed - You let me sit on your hand for a Crow/.
[The scene fades out] |
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