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  1. Mittens T. Cat

    NFW Prepare to Have Brutal, Hardcore Sex with Death.

    A fat man wearing a bright yellow leisure suit from the era of disco is looking right at the camera. His eyes are brown and bloodshot and there's a blunt in his mouth. He's looking cool. Too cool to have sex with your mom, but not cool enough to have sex with your grandma. He looks like the type...
  2. Mittens T. Cat

    Chester Cheeseburger

    MEMBER INFORMATION: Name: Alex Email Address: AIM/Yahoo Messenger: Preferred Method of Handling: dont care Best Way to Contact you: WRESTLER INFORMATION: Name: Chester Cheeseburger Nicknames: Anything to do with his weight or hairline Height: 6'3" Weight: 352 lbs Handedness: Right Looks: A...
  3. Mittens T. Cat

    i was very arrested friday night.

    for dui and posession of cocaine. it was really gay. the bullcrap wasn't even mine. and now i'm ****ed but at least i won't have to go to prison. anyway, yeah. i have match turned in... sometime this week?
  4. Mittens T. Cat

    Honey, I F**ked Your Mom

    MEMBER INFORMATION: Name(s): A, Jeffrey Paternostro Email Address(es): YYJ: jeffpaternostro@gmail.com AIM/Yahoo Messenger (both if two-handler team): YYJ: ElNastico Preferred Method of Handling: RP Best Way to Contact: Alex: PM Jeff: e-mail WRESTLERS' INFORMATION: TEAM NAME: Honey I F**ked...
  5. Mittens T. Cat

    why am i so...

    f**king sexy? honestly? this old lady was outside the grocery store and as i was pulling it she got hit by my car, then i got out and told her to get out of my way. she proceeded to do the funky chicken. this excited me because i knew that in grandma talk that meant "tittysex". and that's what...
  6. Mittens T. Cat

    Mittens T. Cat

    MEMBER INFORMATION: Name: Alex Email Address: AIM/Yahoo Messenger: Preferred Method of Handling: Freestyle RP Best Way to Contact you: PM WRESTLER INFORMATION: Name: Mittens T. Cat Nicknames: TEH HARDKORR PUZZAY~!!! Height: 6'0" Weight: 215 Handedness: Right Looks: Mittens is a man in a big...
  7. Mittens T. Cat

    this probably isn't the place to post this, but i rp'd in response to responses to my

    thread, and it's not showing on the board i made a reply-- yet when you click it, my rp is obviously right there. just wanted to let Mr.'s Red and Hiroshi know that you can't keep a good cat down :p , or a high writer with too much time.
  8. Mittens T. Cat

    A Verbal Rampage The Likes of Which VVS Has Never Seen

    "YOU F**KING DYKE!!! YOU GOD D*MN F**KING DYKE!!! I HOPE YOUR MOM SUCKS A DICK, ONLY INSTEAD OF A DICK IT'S A POISONED DICK-LOOK ALIKE COVERED WITH POISON AND SHE INGESTS IT AND IT MAKES HER WHEEZ AND COUGH UP BLOOD AND SEMEN FOR 9 HOURS, YOU HEAR ME??? 9 HOURS. MOTHERF**KER, NINE F**KING HOURS...
  9. Mittens T. Cat

    omg

    joe the plumber is frickin ridiculously hilarious. that is all. -alex p.s. i laughed. p.p.s. hard. p.p.p.s. hahahaha, p.p.
  10. Mittens T. Cat

    Don King gets a white girl, Big Willy Style (pt. 2 [sex stories])

    "Just so you know," Don King began to Mittens as they walked on the streets of Miami. "I've banged some fine ass white b!tches in my time." Mittens smiled... of course, he was always smiling, but still. "Oh yeah?" Chuck Woolery interjected, "Big f**kin' deal, Don. Seriously, we've *ALL*...
  11. Mittens T. Cat

    Don King gets a white girl, Big Willy Style (pt. 1)

    As some of you may or may not know, Don King is bad. Like, Don King's so bad his mama slapped his mouth and he gave her herpes. That's how bad he is. Doing it with this man is basically playing Russian Roulette, only instead of getting your brains blown out you might have cold sores on your lips...
  12. Mittens T. Cat

    what or who is Kooter?

    i just really want to know, and being fairly new, do not. kthx.
  13. Mittens T. Cat

    The Shocker

    "There once was a time, you know," Mittens said to the bartender. Why he was sitting at the bar was anyone's guess; seeing as how his face was a big, giant cat head and though he could speak through the mouth, it wasn't exactly big enough to take a shot or drink a beer. "I mean a long time ago...
  14. Mittens T. Cat

    A 200 lb. cock and a 200 lb. *****.

    "One time," Mittens said to the referee, still wearing his costume on the scale. "I totally banged this chick right? I mean, she wasn't that hot I guess, but at least I was gettin some. Anyway, I took her to the woods in my jeep, and dude... her vagina was so dried out that it almost felt like...
  15. Mittens T. Cat

    you're all screwed in the butt

    i joined your fed. oh no... xoxoXXooOOXxox Alex
  16. Mittens T. Cat

    Dildo.

    A guy in a big, giant cat costume walks into a bar. No, that is not a joke. But this is: Baby Jesus walks into a bar. The 'tender's all like, "Yo Jesus, what'll ya have?" and B.J. replies, "A virgin mary." Dude, I just made that up. I'm more awesome than Goldberg~!!! Seriously though, I'm...

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