#1 Contender's Triple Threat: Entertainment v Cruise v Payne

[TheOriginalSE]

All RP for the #1 Contender's Triple Threat match for the TV title between MR. ENTERTAINMENT, CAMERON CRUISE and JASON PAYNE at RAUCOUS should be done in this folder. Any RP posted outside of the folder will not count.

TV Champion MWG is the special guest referee.

The RP deadline is 11:59pm on Thursday, January 12th. Angles should be sent to sedmunds@goucher.edu ..

 

[EpyonMarx]

Cameo - Zordon - Emily.... and Mr Entertainment.

[FADE IN. In front of a New ERA Wrestling backdrop stands Mr Entertainment. He’s wearing his typical out-of-ring gear - jeans, a white t-shirt, and a leather jacket]

ME: Well, lookie here. It’s a new dawn, it’s a new year, it’s a NEW ERA OF WRESTLING! Jean Rabore’s gone, Boozy Boris is the World Champ, and ME, Mr Entertainment, is flying the flag high fer this company over in the TEAM Invitational. Life fer this company is lookin’ good. Sure, they’ve had ta can the B show, Rapture, ta save money - but those accountants do take a helluva lot o’ cash ta pay when sales figures start ta climb like they have been doin’ each an’ every time I’m on the show.

Ya hear that, Cameo? When someone shows up, this company gets more money. When people show up to their allotted recordin’ time, they get more money. When they don’t turn up, they get suspended.

Of course, you’d know everythin’ about that, wouldn’tcha? I mean, here we are, days away from the big Triple Threat match ta decide who gets ta whip Emily’s ass next, and yer actin’ exactly tha same as ya did against the Sturgeon. I don’t normally agree with guys from other companies, but damn, Cameo - do you want money? Fame? Fortunes? Titles? Mercedes? All that an’ more could be yours by givin’ the crowd somethin’ ta remember ya by before I kick your ass.

But, hell - yer probably still embarrassed by getting pinned by Boo-boo over in TEAM. I understand - not everyone can make it all the way through their group ta Portland.

But enough about Cameo - we all know that’s the only role he’s gonna be in come RAUCOUS. Because there’re two other lovers who seem ta be havin’ a bad influence on each other and this company.

Emily and Red Ranger Jason.

Now, I know ya’ll seen the last ever RAPTURE. Ya’ll must have, because Mr Entertainment was on it. So ya’ll seen that I had Emily Wilma Greer down fer the one, the two, and tha thr… chairshot. Red Ranger decided that, because he couldn’t get the job done at International Intrigue, he was gonna make sure you, the fans, suffered by havin’ ta keep watching Emily and that spray-painted sex-toy he calls a belt on yer screens. An’ ta make matters worse, Tyrannosaurus is startin’ ta think he IS Emily. I know at International Intrigue he was his b[bleep], but seriously - have you snapped, Zordon?

Or are ya finally tryin’ ta make yerself seem entertainin’? You do know the freakshow spot ain’t gonna work - we’ve already one freak in Emily, and the fans are gonna be reachin’ fer the buckets if they have ta sit long through a match between the two of you. That’s after they’ve flipped the channels - because no-one likes seein’ two grown men with an impotence problem thinkin’ they’re some kinda sex-freaks.

Come RAUCOUS, there’s only one decision that Emily’s gonna be makin’ - one man he’s gonna have ta prepare ta face, and lose to, fer that TV title. That man ain’t a born-again-freak. That man ain’t been beaten by Boo-boo, and that man sure as hell ain’t gonna be a mere walk-on part at RAUCOUS.

That man, the one who’s gonna take the TV title just like he should’ve done at RAPTURE, is ME.

Mister Entertainment.

[FADE OUT]

 

[EpyonMarx]

Re: Cameo - Zordon - Emily.... and Mr Entertainment.

I'll see you [thepost] when you [theboards] update
If you ever update
See you when you upda~te

 

[TSiegel]

Re: Cameo - Zordon - Emily.... and Mr Entertainment.

(Fadein, Cameron Cruise in the back yard of his house, relaxin' in a hammock.)

CRUISE: You're absolutely right, Mister Enya--er...I mean Entertainment.

This is a New Year.

But let's ask you one question.

What the (BLEEP!!) are you talking about, kid??

You get beat up an' down the circuit by me all last year, and then by a technical circumstance, the boss gives you a shot that TECHNICALLY should be mine, and now YOU'RE the hot shot??

The Pyramids weren't complete in a day, Egghead, but then again....I did do some of what ALOT of people said I would never and COULD never do in a span of a YEAR.

From struggling to make it big in the mid-card spot to Main Eventing arenas all around the world.

I'm still mid-carding in NEW...but you know somethin'?? Now that I look at things...it's not so bad.

Not that I plan on staying there too long, but at the same time...

I'm not changing the way I do things, just because the boss wants me in there for a shot at the #1 contendership against a man I've beaten before and someone whose made a habit to keep me from getting some things I want.

And believe it or not....even with Em reffin' the match...

I'm goin' to win this match by ANY means necessary.

Well...almost.

Right Jason??

(fadeout.)

 

[EpyonMarx]

It's the CRUIPPET SHOW!!

[FADE IN. The screen is totally black, but with a sense of… horizontal movement? Eventually, something is dragged into the middle of the screen. This something is sitting down. This something looks like a very young, poorly made Kermit the Frog, but he’s wearing a red and white hooped sailors shirt and a white sailors hat. He’s sitting there so blissfully unaware, so sweetly, it’s just enough to make you want to throw-up and strangle the little blighter. Underneath him, a word pops up which we can only assume is his name - Cruippit]

Cruippit: YAY! Doo-dee-doodily-doo! What a nice ride. Two thousand and five was a very good ride for Cruippit, yes sir-ee. I got to meet lots of people, and… and… I got to make lots of nice new friends… and… and… I got to win wrestling matches!! YAY!! Two thousand and four and two thousand and five sure were fun!! But I’m a big boy now. I’m going to go out there and all on my own do what I’ve been doing all on my own for the last couple of years and win! I’m going to win the TV title, another tag-team title, all on my lonesome!! Dee-dee-deedily-doo!

I’m going to beat someone again! YAY! I’ve beaten him every time we’ve faced each other one on one! YAY! I’m going to win the TV title and…and… I’m going to do it all by myself, because I’m so good!! I’ve never needed help getting out of the opening match before, no sir, not me, because I’m a big boy, and that mean old woman isn’t going to want to count the three, but she’s going to have to because I’m soooooo GOOD! YAY!! I’m going to cheat to win! YAY!! I’m going to

[Just then, the blackness moves again - very sharply, causing poor Cruippet to be left on what looks suspiciously like a rugby kicking tee, with something green underneath it]

Cruippet: win the match at Raucous because I’m a big boy and I always win because mommy always said I was a whiner and she was right I’m going to be the biggest whiner there ever was and I’m gonna do it all by myself, just like I stayed quiet before the pay per view all by myself because no one was holding my hand so I decided I didn’t have to tape any promotional material because I didn’t want to and so I should already be the World Champion because I’m so good! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!

[Just then, as he’s waving his arms wildly, the camera zooms out. We see a figure run up and kick poor little Cruippet off the kicking tee, and he flies right the way over a set of rugby posts. The figure turns to the camera, showing England fly-half Jonny Wilkinson, who gives a quick thumbs-up, before the camera zooms out again. Sitting there, in a nice, comfy room, is Mr Entertainment]

ME: Cruippet - just like Proppet. Likes ta yammer about how great he is, how much he’s done, and at the same time conveniently forget history. Just like Cruise-sh[beep]’s done too. No, I don’t mean the fact he beat me - he did. Twice. But, Cameo, we haven’t squared off since… February? Where’d the whole “up an’ down the circuit” bit happen? Last I checked, you were gettin’ yer ass kicked by a ball-grabber, an’ whinin’ an’ crying how ya lost a title in another fed because yer former partner set ya’ll up.

And now, I see ya’ll are whining an’ cryin’ again that I got given the TV title shot, when you deserved it because you got hit by a chair. Hell, man - ya’ll should know no-one gets a title shot if they can’t deliver ratings. One of the other people who signs yer checks said that to someone - name o’ Troy Douglas? Doesn’t matter. Ya’ll just enjoy b[beep]ching. I understand.

But pl-EASE do not go off on how I was somehow in on some conspiracy against ya - last time ya tried that on someone, he kicked yer ass.

So, Cameo - what did you do last year? Besides a lucky roll-up on me, ridin’ some geriatrics coat-tails fer a while, an’ then getting’ another fall on me because I felt sorry fer ya - what did ya’ll do? Mr Cameraman, can you turn to the screen again a sec? I’m about to show everyone Cameo’s greatest clips from two oh oh five that didn’t include ME or a geriatric.

[The camera moves back to the screen. A play icon appears in the top right corner, and…







































Nothing? The timer’s moving, but nothing plays on the screen. After a few moments, the camera moves back to Mr Entertainment]

ME: Ya’ll see? No highlights. Just boring, blank screenage. How many people want ta see a guy who thinks it’s an honour ta wrestle in a pig-sty? His name stopped gettin’ people all excited at the thought o’ some action, and he’s done nothin’ without his little hand bein’ held. Word is, that’s why he complains when things don’t go his way - he can’t make it in the world on his lonesome. Before International Intrigue, he couldn’t even find his way in front of a camera.

Now, seriously, Marceau - is that someone you want going fer the TV title? Someone who can’t even tape a spot before a Pay Per View number one contenders match?

I thought not.

There ain’t no coat-tails ta ride this time, Cameo. There ain’t gonna be no sympathy from ME this time. There’s gonna be weird comin’ from Emily and Zordon - but that’s where the weird ends, my friend. You winnin’ the match just ain’t gonna happen. And if ya’ll wanna start spoutin’ history at me -

Who’s in the record books as havin’ a win over our current Worlds Champion?

ME.

Who’s NEW’s ONLY representative still in the TEAM tournament?

ME.

And who can’t do a damn thing without his wife, a geriatric, or some sympathy helpin’ him out?

That one… sure ain’t ME.

New ERA needs ratin’s, Cameo. You ain’t got no RAPTURE ta save yerself on no more. You gotta try and step yer game up, and I don’t see that happenin’. The only person who’s gonna be providin’ the ratings that’re gonna keep you employed, is ME.

Mister Entertainment.

[FADE OUT]

 

[TSiegel]

Re: It's the CRUIPPET SHOW!!

"Boy you sure got you're "Partridge Family" panties up in a bunch, don'tcha Enya..I mean...Entertainment."

(Fadein, Cruise in front of an NEW backdrop.)

You wanna drop names and expect them to actually MEAN something.

Troy Douglas?? Beat 'em and AIN'T seen 'em.

Ball-grabber..er...Beau?? On a thousand-foot restraining order for reasons apparently too obvious for you.

Joey Melton...wait...you're droppin' HIS name??

Back the holier-than-thou-trolley up, kid.

It may not seem like it pal, but I give alot of respect to the guy, bein' as he's won SIXTEEN World Heavyweight titles, and an Ultratitle, as well as loads of others, I'm sure.

You call him a Geriatric because he's over forty and still competing, like its a BAD thing.

Have you even BEEN on the opposite side of his Figure-four let alone IN his presence??

I mean, age gets to us all, but kid you have to realize that even though there's a saying that has to do with not cutting it.

At least HE'S still licking the jar.

Semi-finals in NFW last year was he?? Oh but I'm sure that means squat to a man like you, trying to gain his FIRST title as the NEW TV Champion.

You want a shot so you can have all the glory, fame, and lord-knows-what-else with what you do...

And Good on ya.

I want the shot that was supposed to be mine ORIGINALLY...so I can prove a point.

And that point is Edgar--er...Entertainment...is that I can beat hyped up punks like you on a weekly basis until Marceau or LaRoque sees it fit for me to do something else.

That or if there isn't a challenge anymore.

You're the lone member of NEW left in the TEAM tournament are ya??

Hell, I don't know whether to congratulate you or just laugh in your face.

I mean...have you not felt the pressure yet?? I mean...the entire COMPANY depends on you AND expects you to win this SINGLE-MAN-SINGLE-ELIMINATION challenge.

What happens if you (BLEEP!) up?? Even worse...what happens if you lose AND get humiliated at the same time??

I may have lost to a "Ball-grabber" as you call him, but I'll give the little brat credit.

At least he did it in the ring.

I beat you're (BLEEP!) twice last year and the only reason I didn't get the shot was because of a suspension and you were next on the list.

Get it yet??

You're NOT the one they want, Egghead, they want THE BEST. And seeing as you think I depend on Joey on everything, here's a page outta his book:

Jesus doesn't want you for a sunbeam.

How's that for a burner?? In other words, you're last picked on a sports team, the runt of the litter, the last piece of gum....

UNIMPORTANT!!

But you go right ahead Ernesto, and you play your little games and play to the five-year-olds who still watch shows that should've been canceled ten years ago.

I'll be too busy getting ready for a match with Dan Ryan, prepping with MY team in the TEAM league, and winning another tag team title with Joey Melton...

With a shot at the TV Champ and a space in my Gym bag ready for that Television title.

I promise you that Enrique, because it's a Reality Check that you just...won't like.

(Fadeout.)

 

[EpyonMarx]

Mr Entertainment's Monologue

[FADE IN. Mr Entertainment is standing, once again, in front of a New ERA logo]

ME: Awwww… I upset the poor little Cameron Cruise. Boo-hoo. Let me take a moment to gather my thoughts, I’m too shaken by the fact I upset someone who’s as unimportant as a grain o’ sand is to a rock.

OK, that’s enough a that. Cameo’s all upset that I make vague references ta people, an’ he assumes I was talkin’ ‘bout Joey Melton. I mentioned him as yer former partner - but have you seen the wrinkles on Mercedes? Geez - is she Joey’s momma or sumthin’?

Though, from what Boo-boo’s said, you like ta make an ass outta yerself, so the mistake’s understandable. Sad and pathetic like you, but understandable.

Now that that tired ol’ horse has been flogged - and this time I ain’t talkin’ bout Mercedes - we can get back to this matter that Cameo seems ta think everythin’ was his. He thought another company’s second tier title was his and that some guy was only a paper champ - til he got his bell rung by that same guy. Now, he thinks that because he got hit by a chair, he deserved a shot at the TV title.

News flash, Cameo - ya’ll didn’t send in a tape ta promote the match. Ya know that little disclaimer on all wrestlin’ cards? CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE it says. Well, guess what? That’s the case with management decisions too. They decided that, because they couldn’t trust you, you didn’t deserve the title shot.

I mean, the fans may think Emily’s sickening - but at least he gets in front of the camera and promotes where he’s gonna be, fightin’ whoever he’s fightin’, and lets the people know what’s what. They switch off, but at least the seed is planted - an’ people at least know he exists. Hell, going back to tha PPV, Sparky Marky deserved the TV title shot more than you - he turned up, promoted his match, and got his ass handed to him. You proved ya’ll could stand there an’ get hit by a chair.

Does laziness deserve title shots, Cameo? Yes or no. Answers on a postcard.

Now, since ya’ll like to harp on about two wins ya’ll have over me damn near a year ago, let me ask ya’ll somethin’ - if that meant sh[beep], shouldn’t InSturgeon be in this match instead o’ you? He pinned yer ass when you got yer second fall over me - an’ the only way ya’ll beat him was by gettin’ hit in the head by a chair because he doesn’t care about the TV title. Or, how’s about, if ya’ll ever had ta face Boo-boo again, would ya’ll cry and hide because he’s beaten ya’ll before? By your logic, you wouldn’t have a chance.

No - you’d turn up and beat his ass. Well, you’d try to. Knowin’ you, you’d lose an’ complain that someone had a conspiracy against ya.

Besides - in showbiz, a year is a helluva long time.

But one more thing I must say before I move on - about TEAM - ya’ll know how many folks now know, thanks to me, that New ERA is THE place ta get great wrestlin’ action? I mean, they saw you in highlights - and that’s it. They’ve seen two complete matches from me, and are gonna see three more. Then again, by your logic, I ain’t gonna get any further because Tex Hex beat Boo-boo who beat you, an’ after all, ya’ll’ve gotten two falls over me.

BUUUUUUT enough about Cameo. After all, this ain’t the “Cameo gets his ass whooped by the most Entertaining Man on the PLANET” match - there’re two wanna-be freaks in there as well. One’s the ref - and the other’s a born-again-freak. Still waitin’ ta hear from those two. But here’s a couple things fer them ta think about.

Emily - ya’ll know that title should be round my waist. I ain’t complainin’ though, because this saga’s gonna have a happy endin’, and the fans will have a TV champion before them that will hold that title longer than anyone else, bring stability to that belt like it’s never had in it’s long, oft-vacated history. Ya’ll know it, I know it - and ya’ll’re gonna be the one makin’ the one two three that’s gonna seal yer fate.

And Zordon - that plot-twist? Marvellous. Brings more DRAMA to the situation, and the fans are entertained by drama. Not by vomit-inducing freaks like ya’ll, but yer slowly learnin’. One day, ya’ll’ll be ten per cent as entertainin’ as me. Which’ll be a hundred times more entertainin’ than Cameo over there.

Because the TV title is all about ME.

Mister Entertainment.

[FADE OUT]