[We open with a shot of "EUWC Gym", a large, glass-fronted building into which you can see many of the EUWC wrestlers and staff working out. Treadmills, weights, exercise bikes, anabolic steroids, you name it and someone's probably doing it. Cut inside to the cafe/refreshment area, where former EUWC World Heavyweight Champ Classy Mike C is sat enjoy a large, refreshing bottle of brand-name energy drink. Mike C fails to acknowledge the camera for a few moments before looking up and quickly gulping down his mouthful of drink.]
Mike C: Ahh, you guys must be from the Dupree Cup. So, A1E vs. EUWC, Andrew Gilkison vs. Classy Mike f***in' C, No Hold Barred. But enough of me ripping off what Gilkison actually said, lemme give you my two cents. Gilky, Gilky, Gilky; first off kudos for being selected for this tournament, and while I'm unaware of A1E I'm sure it's a fine federation and a fine achievement to be in this tournament. Enough of being pleasant though - I'm going to beat the hell out of you. And here is why...
[Mike C takes another gulp of his energy drink before sighing in satisfaction.]
Mike C: Now Gilky, I won't say that my s**t doesn't stink or that I'm God's gift to women; if it didn't I'd still be with my last girlfriend. I won't say I'm a big fish in a small pond; there's only one fish in EUWC, his name is Charlie and he belongs to our North American champion, but that another extremely weird story for another extremely weird time. And I certainly won't say I'm the second coming of Jesus because, well, I'm agnostic. I'll admit that I may be arrogant, and I may not exactly be Isaac Newton in the old brain department, but that has never bit me on my ass before. In fact, it's aided me immensely because let's face it, arrogance is just having confidence in your abilities, and if you over analyse things then you end up being beaten by your fears. Now I've never been one to hold back, and I've never been one to shirk a good old-fashioned brawl. I mean I was EUWC 52 Wild champion twice, and that meant I had to compete in triple cage matches, TLC matches, barbed wire rope matches, scaffolding matches, emergency booth matches, strangeways death matches, hell I could go on but you get the idea, it was one long Terry Funk wet dream. Does that prepare me for our match? No.
[Mike C again swigs his drink, finishing off the bottle's content before shaking it and placing it back on the table.]
Mike C: I was also EUWC World Champ, and didn't lose it until that b*****d Alucard came along and screwed me. I defeated the long-reigning Sean Taylor, hell I pretty much ended his career, I defended the belt with honour, and I will re-capture that belt from my good friend Adam Benjamin or whoever defeats him before I get the chance. Does that prepare me for our match? No. I've had more belts in my time than a low-budget bondage dungeon and more victories than one of your popular American sports team, or for the rest of the world Manchester United. Does that prepare me for our match? No. What prepares me Gilky is the fact that we're similar height and weight, if anything you're a bit bigger, and we're gonna be going at it one-on-one, no disqualifications. And I know that nobody, not you, not any of your team mates, not anyone in this tournament, can take and dish out half as much punishment as yours truly. You may be a successful man, but this is the tournament of tournament, the place for the creme de la creme. I just hope at the end of the match, we've both put in a great performance, the match of the round no doubt. And as we both head backstage, separately of course, I don't mix with the enemy, you realise that things will only get better because, hell, opponents don't get better than me. After this tournament is over, the names Mike C, Jay Smash, AOD, DDS and, god dammit, Nero will live on in Wrestling folklore, and Gilky, you will be a part of it. Well done, and I guess I'll see you in the ring.
[Mike C winks at the camera before turning away to leave. The screen starts to fade but before it can fully, Mike C quickly turns back.]
Mike C: Oh! And my s**t don't sti...
[Before we finish, the screen is fully faded to black.]