Back Again

[GreggG]

(CUT TO: Troy Windham, standing on the deck of his South Beach, Miami estate. Troy's got D&G sunglasses on and a MR. CSWA T-Shirt, sipping on a rum-based mixed drink.)

TROY: You know, it's always good to come home. When I was contacted by Greensboro a few weeks back, telling that the band was getting back together... I jumped right in. Because, it doesn't need to be said, but I'll say it anyway. The CSWA is the best damn professional wrestling promotion that has ever existed. It's the promotion that made me who I am today. It's the promotion that made Troy Windham TROY WINDHAM. That's why I wear this shirt and call myself Mr. CSWA. This place will always be home, and I'll always defend this place until the day I die.

(Troy sips his drink.)

TROY: Now, that brings me up to the next point. Last year, everyone in the wrestling world stood up and took notice. Because, once again, Troy Windham did the seemingly impossible. There was an open contract to the entire wrestling industry. The ropes were held open and the best of the best entered. And once again, I came out on top. I cemented it in stone, forever, that the CSWA World Title is the most important strap in this industry. And I cemented it, forever, that I was the Epitome. The G-O-A-T. I guaranteed that I would come out of The Gold Rush on top and, once again, what I said became GOSPEL.

(Troy makes a pissy face.)

TROY: But a funny thing happened on the way to my victory parade. Dan Ryan... The Ego Buster... he thought it was funny to play a game. He cashed in his chip, and, after I did the impossible, he took me by surprise. And he used his... his LOOPHOLE and took the title from me.

(Troy pauses and stares at the camera. Then he takes another sip.)

TROY: Ryan, you may think what you did was spectacular. You probably went back to wherever it is you call home, popped open a glass of wine or what have you, and celebrated like it was the best day of your life. Because, you finally... you FINALLY found a way to pull the wool over my eyes. But, Ryan, what you failed to notice... is that, in the process, you DEVALUED the worth of that belt. My accomplishments made that belt the best in the world, just as it always HAS been and always WILL be. But once it entered your frightfully small hands, by your dumb little loophole, that belt's prestige lowered.

(Troy takes another sip.)

TROY: Now, I expect Dan Ryan to play another head game. You all saw what went down in the CSWA's return to glory. After I carried our unfortunate pairing, Dan Ryan ended up getting the pinfall, giving him the chance to name his next opponent. I don't expect him to pick yours truly. And let me explain why.

(Troy stirs his drink.)

TROY: Let's face facts. As great as the CSWA has been... as legendary as this great promotion is... it needs to get its legs running again. It needs to get off the ground and become what it truly is. That's the best damn promotion which ever existed. To do that, it's going to need a champion. It's going to need someone to take the World Title and to make it the most sought after title in this industry, just as it has been for most of this sport's history. The CSWA title should be the brass ring. It should be the gold standard. It should be the title that every little boy dreams of having around his waist some day.

(Troy takes a sip.)

TROY: It wasn't that long ago when Dan and I had our first match together. It was one of the great matches in wrestling history. It was one of the most competitive, hard fought matches of my career. Dan Ryan gave it his all that night. In fact, I don't think anyone else alive could have matched what Dan Ryan brought that night. except for one man. And that's me.

(Troy swirls his drink.)

TROY: Now, I'm not base enough to say that Dan Ryan's scared to face me. I know that's not true, and I have enough respect for the CSWA's audience to not tell them that. But what Dan Ryan IS afraid of is being the face of the CSWA. He's afraid of having the leading role in the greatest promotion of all time. He's afraid of the responsibility that comes with that title. He's intimidated by the fact that, right now, it's his job and it's his duty to make that title mean what it has always meant. Now, I think we all know, that *I* was made for that role. I was the man who took on all comers in the Gold Rush. I am the man who has won eight or nine of the ten best matches in this company's history. I am the man who DESERVES that title. I am The Epitome. I am Mr. CSWA. I am the man who will carry this promotion, just as I have for the past decade.

(Troy smirks.)

TROY: So, go ahead, Dan. Name whatever person you're going to name for that title shot. You know, I know and everyone alive knows there's only one match that means anything in this promotion. And that's me, and you, one more time. But soon, you're going to learn that to make that title the most sought after in professional wrestling... you're going to have to put your signature next to mine on a binding contract. You're going to have to show the world that you're able to beat me. You're going to have to show the world that you're the man to bring this promotion to where it once was and where it deserves to be.

(Troy takes one more sip.)

TROY: Play the expected head games, Ryan. But just know that until you finally take me on... what you're holding doesn't mean a whole lot to anyone. (FTB)

 

[Nova]

Again...and again...*sigh*...and again.

​

(FADEIN: The fabled Sweetwater water tower in Sweetwater, TX, site of many an unfortunate suicide and even more unfortunate awkward pre-teen grope-fest. NOVA sits surrounded by crinkled PBR empties on the platform ringing the water storage container, his forearms draped over the second guardrail, his legs dangling into the humid abyss.)

NOVA: “Troy, you have to get down on your knees if you want to catch Ryan’s present in your mouth. Geez, haven’t you been doing this since, like, Charles Forbes was bootlegging whiskey and blow out of the White House?”

(He lights a cigarette. A fake dreamy look comes into his eyes.)

NOVA: “‘One last match, Ryan…one last, beautiful match, just the two of us, no one else in the whole world, nothing else matters, nothing’s EVER mattered…but this.’ Pfffft!!” (Waving a hand dismissively) “You sound like Dane Cook chirping away on FOX…

“THERE’S ONLY ONE WORLD SEEEEE-REEEEZ!! THERE’S ONLY ONE OC-TOOOHHHHH-BURR!!”

(He takes a drag of his smoke. A pig squeals in the distance.)

NOVA: “Listen. Troy. You’ve put on some epic shows. You’ve done the damn thing, seriously. Your worst enemy wouldn’t deny your accomplishments. But try ‘n follow me here. I love those frozen chicken breasts they stuff with cheese and ham and sauce makin’ the, um…chicken cordon bleu things, right? I LOVE ‘em. But if I ate ‘em EVERY week for – ohh, I’ll just pick a number randomly here – SIXTEEN YEARS, then I think I’d be ready for the chicken breasts they stuff with the broccoli and cheese stuff, or I dunno, the crème brie and apple slices, what the hell.”

(He takes another drag, and his eyes follow a truck passing by, the first vehicle he’s seen in the two and a half hours he’s been drinking up here.)

NOVA: (Grinning) “Ehhh, what am I saying? F*ck it. Ryan, give the guy his thrill.”

(FADETOBLACK.)

 

[DBrunkGXW]

FADE IN...

Dan Ryan behind his Oakleys, sitting at the familiar desk of the Empire Pro offices where he's visiting his sister-in-law.

Ryan: "Um...yeah, you know Troy? Maybe you're a little confused, sir."

"Or maybe in aligning yourself with Cameron Cruise elsewhere, your 'tard quotient has already begun multiplying itself exponentially. So you know, Troy - and I didn't really wanna spoil anything for you - but before the sweat on my forehead was even dry from that match, I had already pegged you as my opponent at Fish Fund."

"It's so gallant of you to make that speech and dare me to do something I've already done. What's next?? Wanna dare Sean Stevens to bang Ivy? Wanna dare someone to blow up Fish Fund? Hey, how about you make another speech - this time about how you revolutionized communications by inventing the internets?"

"Your logic is bizarre, Troy."

"I'm afraid of leading the greatest company that's ever existed - nice attempted d**k suck of whoever's in charge of us all post-Fish Fund, by the way - and yet I went out of my way to make you look like a tool so I could do just that."

"I'm afraid of taking that title....so I took it."

"Interesting concept of yours...fear. Hmm? I don't really think I'm afraid of you at all, Troy. We're so equal in talent that there's rarely a clear victor. Only once, right? Once in that glorious match we had the first go 'round?"

"And then the games started. And let's not forget, sir - that it was you that started the games. So let's be honest here. The only thing that gets your goat, the only thing that you can't stand....is that I finished them."

"And so here you are, begging and pleading your case for one more try. You sit there and you give us all the resume' that we already know, you run down your list of accomplishments and you desperately hope that I give you one shot...just one more shot."

"Surprise surprise eh, Troy? I gave it to you before your rant even hit the airwaves."

"But for all your talk of what matters, the only thing that really matters....is not what this belt means to everyone else, but rather what it means to you. Because what it means to you is life, and what my willingness to put it on the line, in your face and in front of the entire world means is only this..."

"That the one true thing on the line at Fish Fund is your desperate hope that my one upping you at the biggest event in the history of wrestling isn't the world's last memory of the great Troy Windham. That's what it's all about. It's about saving face. It's about that and nothing else. Because you made a life out of winning at all costs....because you've lived by that sword, you'll now die by it."

"Don't think for one second that anyone believes that you care about anything but yourself, and fifteen more of your Barack Obama speeches won't change that."

"History is all you can talk about, Troy - because history is what you are. Dipped in bronze and hanging on a wall...reduced to playing frisbee golf with Cameron Cruise and Adam Benjamin at a barbecue up in Canada."

"Congratulations, Troy. One last chance to be relevant..."

FADE OUT.......

 

[TSiegel]

"Seriously Dan, does it REALLY matter??"

(Fadein, Cameron Cruise dressed in blue jeans, a white T-Shirt, and his black Anarchy shades, with the CSWA Presidential title over his right shoulder in front of a standard white backdrop.)

CRUISE: Let me rephrase that...SHOULD it really matter??

(Cruise shakes his head in disbelief.)

I swear...I've always tried to be the one follow the rules, always tried to "do the right thing, even when no one's looking." Granted, I've not exactly been completely successful, but at least the effort is there.

But chalk it up to whatever it is you want to call it, I just can't seem to grasp the concept.

Time in, and time out, at least every other promo aired on television....

EVERYONE wants a piece of Cameron Cruise, everyone has to drop my name at the chance of making a statement.

Even the CSWA UNIFIED World Heavyweight Champion.

Why must you do it, Ryan?? What's the matter, Ryan?? Has my success and what I've done elsewhere made you so jealous and bitter that your so-called "Retirement" episodes outside the CSWA might just be that...an episode??

Piss off.

Maybe outside of this company you could be off and be boring, being that you've been monikered in some circles as the "'Roid Ranger" for not having a life, but despite all that the fact remains is that you ARE the CSWA UNIFIED Heavyweight Champion...a particular moniker I wouldn't mind holding myself, all other things aside, but I digress...

So what if Windham decided to align himself myself and Adam Benjamin. I mean...honestly, what should it matter??

You're "Retired", right??

FACT: I also helped create another faction that just happens to be the hottest thing on the circuit, even hotter than the marketing I was able to pull off with Joey Melton, perhaps you'd like to talk about that too while you're at it??

My point Dan, is that I don't exactly talk about you, so why don't you stick to your guns...so-to-speak...and try and keep that title around your waist without mentioning me, and I'll do the same with mine.

Otherwise...I just might petition a shot at your title by proxy just to spite you.

I'll bet if you haven't spewed water all over your Television set then...just think about what it'd be like if I were to become victorious. I'd bet you'd do alot more then if you came to your senses after the fact and realized that the Marquee wouldn't read "Dan Ryan" on that name plate, but rather "Cameron Cruise".

That I GUARANTEE you would be a REALITY CHECK that you just...won't like.

Now if you'll excuse me...I'll go back to minding my own business.

You might want to try it sometime...

(Fadeout.)

 

[DBrunkGXW]

FADE IN....

Dan Ryan again, this time leaning on the ring apron at his ranch in Calgary - also known as his NAPW home away from home. Around his waist is the BIG FRIGGIN' GOLD BELT - The CSWA Unified World Title.

Ryan: "Jesus Christ....Benji is yelping..."

"Ohhhh wait, no this would be the OTHER little puppy sniffin' Troy Windham's ass these days."

"I don't know who the f**k crawled up your ass and told you that you were hot s**t, Cruise - but listen up and listen well, son. First thing's first..."

"The only reason...and I mean THE ONLY reason your insignificant little name even came out of my mouth was because it relates directly to the state of Windham's career at this moment in time. Understand that first, right off the bat."

"Furthermore....I'm jealous and resentful of you?? Wait wait wait, hold on a second. Everyone digest that for a moment. I'm jealous and resentful of you. No seriously....everyone..."

"Dan Ryan....is jealous....and resentful....of Cameron Cruise."

"How to break this to you....hmm, Cameron... your name isn't being dropped because anybody wants a piece of you or wants to make a statement. Your name gets dropped in this manner and only in this manner because you are a great big heaping, steaming s**tpile of a target for an example of complete and utter disappointment and mediocrity."

"You sir, are freakin' CREAMING YOUR PANTS because you're getting a title shot in A1E. A TITLE SHOT, Cruise. Do you even get that at all?? What has you needing to change your shorts is something that people throw at me when I'm just walking down the street. 'Hey Dan, come to my fed. I'll give you a title shot.' 'Hey Dan, can you come wrestle our champion for our belt? We could really use the pub.' Not once in my entire life, Cruise...has anyone even hinted that they gave a damn about or even remotely considered using you to sell anything other than barf bags."

"Maybe you're so smug right now because you lost your mind like Windham and forgot just who the F**K I am. Understand something, Cruise. I never said I was retired, brother. I pulled back because I wanted to. I pulled back because I had run myself into the ground physically due to my schedule....ya know, defending four World Championships at once will do that to you. I've also been consistently wrestling at a main event level in NAPW this entire time. So I guess where the word 'retire' applies to me, it means...kick ass in only one company instead of five or six."

"Piss off??"

"Nah Cruise, you're that weak ass motherf**ker that the entire wrestling world wouldn't piss on even if you were on fire, and you know why??"

"Because at your absolute best, you're the kid on the Little League team who strikes out every damn time he comes up to bat and then finally....he makes contact, and instead of striking out on three pitches like every other time, he weakly grounds out to the pitcher instead. Either way it's an out, but dammit...little Cammy made contact this time. Let's go out to Chuck E. Cheese afterwards and celebrate."

"Your entire life is jumping from licking one big dog's ass to another, from Joey Melton to your Anthology buddies to Troy Windham now. So don't sit there on your high horse and act like you're anything more than the same old Cameron Cruise, who can't do a god**mned thing on his own unless it's some midcarder bulls**t, and step your little knock-kneed ass back down where you belong. And Cammy???"

"I'll put your name...in my mouth, whenever the hell I want - because I can, and you can't do s**t about it. But as for you?? Shut your wanna-be pie-hole...or I'll put my fu**in' foot in it."

FADE OUT.....

 

[Ford]

FADE IN.

(High Flyer rests in a hammock, cozily perched between two chestnut trees in a beautiful suburban center. He's wearing a Maple Leafs "Washburn" jersey and holding a lit cigar, although he hasn't taken a single puff. In fact, he's just been passing it to stray cats and dogs that pass through the back yard to see what would happen. Oh, there's one of those dogs now, hurling into the pool right alongside our trusty Lunatic. He smiles, and chucks the cigar into the pool.)

High Flyer: Boy, CSWA people really lose steam quickly. What is it, two weeks and silence? See, I knew I wouldn't have to say anything at the start, cause you'd all get bored and I could rush in and pick up the pieces. What is this company worth now? A 1893 Silver Dollar? Cause I can get you one of those, just for the principal of using a dollar to pay for a company.

(Flyer reaches off screen and pulls a martini out. He takes a sniff and hucks it over his shoulder onto a small child.)

High Flyer: Now, Troy Windham. May I say, bravo. Please, when you are about to square off with Dan Ryan, I'll be the first one ringside holding a sign with a picture of Dan Ryan being punched shouting 'kick his f*cking head off!' Cause that douchington powerbombed me outside of the ring! And that was him on a NICE day. That's just complete dichanery if I ever saw it!

(Flyer sits up in the hammock, awkwardly, almost losing his balance.)

High Flyer: Cause y'know what? I don't care if I have a match or not. I'm gonna show up with a gas tank of lighter fluid, yes, lighter fluid, 18 polar bears, and just set those whiteys on fire and let 'em loose! Cause THAT'S! What I call a good time! Not getting my head kicked in while beating the crap outta...

(Flyer looks from side to side.)

High Flyer: wait... I love beating the crap out of people.

Voice: HEY! YOU!

(Flyer's eyes squint. He looks off to the side to see a middle aged man raising a baking pin.)

Voice: Get out of my hammock!

High Flyer: But it's comfortable!

FADE OUT.