[updated:LAST EDITED ON May-02-02 AT 12:08 PM (EDT)](FADE IN to a dark alley somewhere in Brooklyn. The buildings are dilapidated and falling apart. Broken glass is scattered on concrete and the buildings are littered with graffiti from the neighborhood gangs. As the camera pans the area, underneath a streetlight, it spots the recently returning Hip Hop Express.
Boogie Smalls and Inferno Ice are smoking something that looks like a cigar…but those that know these two…well, that ain’t what they’re smokin’. Inferno is wearing a Sean John jean outfit and a white Kangol hat. He has a small band-aid under his eye, just like one of his favorite rappers, Nelly. Boogie is sporting a Roc-A-Wear black hooded sweatshirt and jeans. He has a wave cap on his head, underneath the hood.
As the smoke fills the air, Inferno walks over to an old 1965 Impala. He cranks up the radio and “Oh Boy” by Cam’ron blasts out of the speakers. Inferno bobs his head to the music and Boogie shakes his head at his partner’s antics. Inferno reaches in the car and pulls out a 40 ounce of Olde English 800. He taps the bottle, twists the cap, and takes a chug. He offers some to Boogie, who waves it off and puts his blunt in his partner’s face, showing him that he is taken care of.)
BOOGIE: Yo man, how could you drink that s(BLEEP)? Don’t you know that nothing enhances your mind and body more than this? (Points at his blunt.) If you’re gonna drink, at least drink some Alize’ or some yack and cranberry. Not no futhamuckin’ O.E. That stuff will rot your gut out.
INFERNO: Man, you didn’t know? You had to have heard! The only reason I am drinking this is in honor of our opponents in Seattle. Our first opponents on our return, are get this, the current tag team champions of the World, Simply Stunning. (Takes a chug.) Man, remember how we used to smack those two around. And the pranks we pulled on them. (Laughs)
BOOGIE: Yeah, that was a great idea to switch their tea before their match.
INFERNO: (Imitating an announcer.) We’ve secretly switched Simply Stunning’s favorite brand of tea with our brand, Mary Jane’s Heavenly Blunted Bouquet. (Laughs and then speaks in his normal voice.) Man, we got those cats so wasted before their match they didn’t know how to react. That was great.
BOOGIE: Yeah, but look at ‘em now. They got the tag titles…they think they are on top of the World. And Inferno, that’s where you and I should be. You remember, we never really lost those titles, so technically…in my mind, we STILL ARE the tag champs. Wilcox and Hardy have had it easy for the past year since we’ve been gone. But now that we’re back…it’s time for us to take over the throne again.
INFERNO: (Takes a swig and then lets out a huge burp.) Man, I feel so bent. But not bent enough to realize that we gotta take this moment and capitalize on it. Not to mention, if we ever need it…we got an ace in the hole, the big man, Apocalypse. But I doubt we’ll need to phone in any favors to beat these two. Ya know, they’re the CSWA’s version of Terrance & Phillip.
BOOGIE: Lets not get into that. Hardy…Wilcox, looks like since we’ve been gone, things have just flourished for you. But you haven’t had any real competition. When I came back, I looked at the roster, I saw the tag teams, and I can see how you have been coasting by without a real threat to your championship. Well now the games done changed. We flipped the script on yo’ PUNK CRACKA ASSES and you fell right into our trap. See, there ain’t no damn reason for us to have to earn a title shot, because we’re already established. You two f(BLEEP)ed up and now you gotta pay the price. The price for you…those tag team titles. Enjoy the time you got with them now, because after Seattle…no more gold for you.
INFERNO: Yo man, I really like to bling bling, but that gold is too outdated. After we win them, you think we can petition the suits to get an upgrade to platinum? Everybody would be hatin’ us! Then I could get some platinum caps on my teeth, set that s(BLEEP) off, man!
BOOGIE: (Laughs) You’re a fool, but besides 2Poc, you’re the coolest white boy I know. Simply Stunning, at Primetime you are gonna have to face the cruel cold reality that your time in the spotlight has come and gone…and now WE ARE TAKING IT BACK! Don’t like that? Well then do something about it, B(BLEEP)!
(Inferno puts the cap back on the half-drunken 40 ounce and shakes it up. He then hurls it into the air and it explodes upon impact. Inferno points and laughs at his accomplishment. Boogie shakes his head and continues to smoke his blunt. FADE TO BLACK)
Boogie Smalls and Inferno Ice are smoking something that looks like a cigar…but those that know these two…well, that ain’t what they’re smokin’. Inferno is wearing a Sean John jean outfit and a white Kangol hat. He has a small band-aid under his eye, just like one of his favorite rappers, Nelly. Boogie is sporting a Roc-A-Wear black hooded sweatshirt and jeans. He has a wave cap on his head, underneath the hood.
As the smoke fills the air, Inferno walks over to an old 1965 Impala. He cranks up the radio and “Oh Boy” by Cam’ron blasts out of the speakers. Inferno bobs his head to the music and Boogie shakes his head at his partner’s antics. Inferno reaches in the car and pulls out a 40 ounce of Olde English 800. He taps the bottle, twists the cap, and takes a chug. He offers some to Boogie, who waves it off and puts his blunt in his partner’s face, showing him that he is taken care of.)
BOOGIE: Yo man, how could you drink that s(BLEEP)? Don’t you know that nothing enhances your mind and body more than this? (Points at his blunt.) If you’re gonna drink, at least drink some Alize’ or some yack and cranberry. Not no futhamuckin’ O.E. That stuff will rot your gut out.
INFERNO: Man, you didn’t know? You had to have heard! The only reason I am drinking this is in honor of our opponents in Seattle. Our first opponents on our return, are get this, the current tag team champions of the World, Simply Stunning. (Takes a chug.) Man, remember how we used to smack those two around. And the pranks we pulled on them. (Laughs)
BOOGIE: Yeah, that was a great idea to switch their tea before their match.
INFERNO: (Imitating an announcer.) We’ve secretly switched Simply Stunning’s favorite brand of tea with our brand, Mary Jane’s Heavenly Blunted Bouquet. (Laughs and then speaks in his normal voice.) Man, we got those cats so wasted before their match they didn’t know how to react. That was great.
BOOGIE: Yeah, but look at ‘em now. They got the tag titles…they think they are on top of the World. And Inferno, that’s where you and I should be. You remember, we never really lost those titles, so technically…in my mind, we STILL ARE the tag champs. Wilcox and Hardy have had it easy for the past year since we’ve been gone. But now that we’re back…it’s time for us to take over the throne again.
INFERNO: (Takes a swig and then lets out a huge burp.) Man, I feel so bent. But not bent enough to realize that we gotta take this moment and capitalize on it. Not to mention, if we ever need it…we got an ace in the hole, the big man, Apocalypse. But I doubt we’ll need to phone in any favors to beat these two. Ya know, they’re the CSWA’s version of Terrance & Phillip.
BOOGIE: Lets not get into that. Hardy…Wilcox, looks like since we’ve been gone, things have just flourished for you. But you haven’t had any real competition. When I came back, I looked at the roster, I saw the tag teams, and I can see how you have been coasting by without a real threat to your championship. Well now the games done changed. We flipped the script on yo’ PUNK CRACKA ASSES and you fell right into our trap. See, there ain’t no damn reason for us to have to earn a title shot, because we’re already established. You two f(BLEEP)ed up and now you gotta pay the price. The price for you…those tag team titles. Enjoy the time you got with them now, because after Seattle…no more gold for you.
INFERNO: Yo man, I really like to bling bling, but that gold is too outdated. After we win them, you think we can petition the suits to get an upgrade to platinum? Everybody would be hatin’ us! Then I could get some platinum caps on my teeth, set that s(BLEEP) off, man!
BOOGIE: (Laughs) You’re a fool, but besides 2Poc, you’re the coolest white boy I know. Simply Stunning, at Primetime you are gonna have to face the cruel cold reality that your time in the spotlight has come and gone…and now WE ARE TAKING IT BACK! Don’t like that? Well then do something about it, B(BLEEP)!
(Inferno puts the cap back on the half-drunken 40 ounce and shakes it up. He then hurls it into the air and it explodes upon impact. Inferno points and laughs at his accomplishment. Boogie shakes his head and continues to smoke his blunt. FADE TO BLACK)