Jared Wells will be BAD Champ once again.
(FADEIN to a black & white screen with a close up of Jared Wells face looking left to right but never into the camera. Camera zooms back as he is wearing jeans, a new black cut off WFW:NE JARED WELLS DADDY tee shirt. Drinking a few beers he refuses to acknowledge the camera)
JAREDWELLS: Boredom. A severe disease infecting millions of WFW:NE fans all over the world in which they constantly exhibit certain behaviors like the lack of ticket sales, not buying merchandise, turning the channel, and blogging about pointless things. There is no known cure, though the symptoms do seem to fade when the fans are introduced to something electric or mainly entertaining. The people have asked, they demanded, and Jared Wells will cure ALL BOREDOM running through the WFW:NE. At Almost Live I promised the world I would start to make changes around here and at Unplugged I will F(BLEEP)K S(BLEEP)T up once more.
HHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE'S DADDY!!
Recognize and remember this STEVIE JOOHNNNN-STON?! Ohio boy, you've been running around the WFW:NE screaming you beat the legend of Jared Wells. Your walking around town telling the ladies you took down the GREATEST B.A.D Champion of ALL TIME. Hope you've enjoyed my title for the short period of time because I plan on becoming the B.A.D World Champion for the second time and hold it forever. You see, when I lost I had planned on moving into the WFW World Title picture, but that never happened. Night after night I would walk the streets and somebody would approach me and say "Are you going to get your rematch with Johnson? You are the real B.A.D Champion." Time went by and I ignored all the questions......UNTIL NOW.
JARED WELLS vs STEVE JOHNSON II for the B.A.D World Heavyweight Title. The time has come.
Santa's Sack O Weapons match, how fitting. Steve, you go ahead and bring whatever you want I don't give a damn. When I walk down that aisle with the Dangle's Sack O Weapons, you'll realize why I truly was the GREATEST B.A.D Champion EVER. I'll even invite Santa Claus himself down to sit ringside but I don't think we'll see Santa squeeze his fat white ass down the chimney in the Qwest Centre. But if Santa makes it, it won't be Jared Wells sitting on his lap. Oh no, he'll be sitting on my left knee, and Steve Johnson on my right knee asking who is your daddy and what does he do? Your daddy is JARED WELLS and he will be the two time B.A.D World Heavyweight Champion once more. Do your sit-ups, your pull-ups and I'll be doing my dick push-ups contemplating my next move as B.A.D World Heavyweight Champion. You did it once, NOW LET'S SEE YOU DO IT AGAIN! Remember when you said a long time ago.....
"This BAD Championship means a lot to me, but nothing means more to me than Ohio State University."
(Jared then finally looks into the camera slowly)
You'll pay. Violence sure does make daddy feel good.
(FADEOUT)
