Beast vs. Adam Benjamin vs. Boogie Smallz

[JABolich]

Elimination Match - For the EPW World Heavyweight Championship:
Beast (C) vs. Adam Benjamin vs. Boogie Smallz

Coming off a victory over the World Tag Champions, Beast finds himself once again pitted against two men in a title defense - and formidable foes they are, in former MCW World Champion Benjamin and de-facto GWE World Champion Smallz. Will Beast continue his dominance as champion? Will Smallz add an active World Title to his resume? Or will Benjamin finally pick up the win over Beast that he nearly secured in their last match?

 

[Adam_Benjamin]

The passion of the belt

{Fade into the gym of Adam Benjamin. in the far corner of the room Adam is seen running in place, dropping down doing push ups, bouncing back up running in place finishing as he grabs a towel to clear his face off soaked from sweat the aftermath of an intense workout. Adam begins talking as the camera zooms close to him.}

Benjamin:

"The time to rise up and stand on top of the mountain is upon us gentleman. Three men each vying for one goal, one title, the rightful owner of the EPW World Championship. Each man has his reasoning for why he believes he is the right man to stand and represent this company. The current champion, he has held the gold for over a month, battling strong to define his place on top of the mountain. Since winning the title he has defeated many men, turning down no challenges tossed his way. He stands known to all as a Beast, he is just that a beast. The first challenger is a former champion of GXW, a straight thug will an attitude. This getto superstar has a little trouble letting go of the past, he is stuck is a time period that not even Dr. Brown could help him out with. His greatness is gone, the title he once held high is no more, he needs to let it go. The last challenger is Yours Truly Adam Benjamin the future of EPW. Yes here I am in the flesh poised to do whatever it takes to become EPW champion this week. I have battled to get to this stage, a set back last week has given me for focus than ever, my moment is knocking at my door, this week I greet it with confidence and take my place on top of the mountain..."

(Adam smiles as he takes a drink of water)

Benjamin:

"Beast the mere chance to step into the ring with you again has my entire body excited. Little over a month ago I introduced myself, in the end you were the better man, however with your victory I left you a strong message. I gave you a battle that to this day in this company you have not faced. I battled step for step with you, yet made the one mistake it takes in this business to fail. However I have sat back and trained, I have watched the tapes, I have seen the holes and the mistakes, and I am confident that this time I will leave with the EPW title. A question to toss out, can you take all that I gave you again and some how pull it out again? I am willing to say you can't, for all I gave you will double, all I pored out into that ring that night will be magnified, for the title you hold is my passion. Beast although in defeat, you still were measured by Yours Truly, you were also weighed by Yours Truly as well, and soon you will be defeated."

(Adam looks down, then back into the camera)

Benjamin:

"I took your best Beast and I am ready to take it again. You have done a great thing with the world title, however the time has come for Yours Truly to take EPW into the new year as its new champion.

(Adam smiles)

Benjamin:

"Now Boogie makes this a interesting three way now doesn't he? Boogie that is cute a cluster of snot up ones noise, very nice name. Smallz a name defining something small, dare I ask? Well boogie man unlike the fabled boogie man you are real, so thus I guess I can't pull my covers over my head and hope you will go away. No you are the mack diggity the G unit bringing the slang to the ring and tipping beer to your fallen. Man Boogie I have listen to you rant about how GXW closed and you are the champ, so what Boogie get over it. I am the MCW champ, a federation that closed, do you hear Yours Truly calling himself a dead title? I mean do you think that the former CEO of a company such as Enron still brags about being on top? Face it BS, it is time to move on, you want to be champion defeat Beast and myself at Wrestleverse and take your rightful seat on top, other wise save all the BS for day time talk shows I am sure they will have you on as a guest.

(Adam clears his throat, and continues talking)

Benjamin:

"Three men, one title, who will be the better man?

(Adam looks up as if to search for the answer)

Benjamin:

"In my stars I am above thee, but be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness ;thrust upon em. A quote from a great man, William Shakespeare reveals the truth about Yours Truly. Beast hold what you have, but remember the battle you went through to still be holding it. Boogie break away from the past and grasp what lies in front of you. But rest assure at Wrestleverse Yours Truly Adam Benjamin will be the better of the three and in the end will emerge the EPW Champion.

(Adam stares into the camera as it fades out)

 

[MarcusWestcott]

Once again

[ After Aggression, we're taken backstage into EPW World Heavyweight Champion Beast's dressing room, where the Champ is still in his ring gear - minus the farmer dress - seated on a chair, his boots just untied. ]

Beast: Just when you think things couldn't get any stranger...

I mean, hell... Dan Ryan's been out to screw with my career here since the day I set foot into EPW and the doors to the company flew open. The sonofa***** even forced me to defend my title in a dress tonight just because I said something Danny-boy didn't agree with.

That sure worked, didn't it, Dan? Sure, it might have made for a few funny moments when I first walked out on that stage, but that's where the humiliation stopped - right there on the stage. When it came to getting in the ring, NO ONE was going to humiliate me, especially not Cruise and Moses himself.

It happened, boys. Just the way I said it was going to. Cruise just wasn't good enough, and Melton was just too old and crippled to make a difference.

But then, Ryan turns and blasts Melton out of nowhere. There's something for all the philosophers to ponder. What the hell is running through that little mind of yours, Dan? One day, it looks like you don't want Beast as your Champion, then the next, you're out there knocking Melton four days past Sunday. And the same night, I get put in another three way match.

Mr. Ryan, you're a very intriguing individual.

But enough of this past week. It's in the books, and nothing's going to change that. Let's focus on Wrestleverse, shall we?

Beast defends his title against both Adam Benjamin and Boogie Smallz in an Elimination Style match.

Hell, at least Ryan did ONE thing right this week.

Boogie Smallz...

You and I have a little unfinished business, son. It seems your officiating skills rivial that of Lindsay Troy's, and that's definitely not a good thing.

You want to walk in here and run your mouth about how you're the hotstuff, how you're the GXW-E whatever the hell Champion...well let me tell you one thing, Smallz... you can screw me out of matches, you can get in my face, and you can try and trade shots with me all you like, but this isn't GXW, this is Empire Pro, and pal, this is MY yard, and I'm the Beast that prowls it.

[ Beast reaches over and grabs the EPW World Heavyweight Championship title, and holds it up in the air vertically, so it's hanging. ]

Beast: This is MY title. I've beaten damn near everyone in this company to earn it and keep it, and son, you're not taking it away from me any time soon. Step up, brah, and I'll be more than happy to knock you right back down.

Which brings me to Mr. Benjamin.

First off, son, your math is a bit wrong. Take a look at the tape, since you've been watching them so much lately. This is September. I won the title in May. Little more than a month, no?

I know, I know... nitpicking, but if you want to come out here and tell me how prepared you are, you're certainly doing a good job of hiding the truth.

But you're right about one thing. I am a beast. But not "just" a beast. I'm the World Heavyweight Champion. I'm the Alpha Male here in EPW. I'm a beast with the power, the skill, and the heart to do what it takes to get the job done and be the absolute best in this company.

Don't overdramatize things, Adam.

You know exactly what I'm taking about. The "Future Of EPW" stepped into the ring against the Champion, and yes, we had a hell of a match. Yes, we had a match of the year candidate. Yes, you put up a hell of a struggle.

But in the end, Adam, all that anyone is going to remember is who got their hand raised at the end of the match, and who didn't.

Sure, you've trained. As have I. You've watched all the tapes, you've found the holes in my hide with which to attack me. Or have you? I've had the same time, not only to find out the exact same thing about you, but to also evaluate myself and see what mistakes I did make, and make sure they never happen again.

But that's the difference between you and I, Adam.

Everyone steps into the ring and makes mistakes. I once thought I was flawless, but no one truly is. If I was flawless, you'd never be able to land a punch on me let alone capture me for a suplex. That's not the way it works. No one is perfect, but the difference is, Adam, that a true Champion is the one that can make sure his own mistakes are not taken advantage of, and he can capitalize on the mistakes of his opponent.

That's the difference between you and I. I was able to use my skill and smarts to take advantage of that one mistake, to snatch that one window of opportunity, and put your lights out. That's perhaps the thing I do best - take advantage of my opponents mistakes.

You have to be perfect to beat me, Adam, and as I just explained, no one is perfect.

You said you've battled to get to this stage, Adam? A setback? Are you as truly ready as you say you are? You suffered a major setback at my hands, got a win over a guy that I just proved doesn't have it, then the very next week, you lost again, to someone who's barely established his place on the midcard, let alone defining his niche as a main event kind of guy. How focused are you? How much is the knowledge that you haven't been able to get the job done recently going to weigh down on your shoulders, Adam? Admit it or not, there's the mental advantage that you just don't have. You can be strong in your interviews and tell the world you're fine, but I know the kind of athlete you are, Adam. You're very good, and you take pride in your abilites. I'm the same way. And it may have only been one or two little mistakes, but those one or two little mistakes are just eating away at you inside... they're casting a bit of doubt now that you're in such an up and down state. You're inconsistent as hell, while I have been a rock solid pillar here in EPW since day one.

I'm going to make it three mistakes for you at Wrestleverse, and you know what they say about things that come in threes.

All bad for you.

Each and every night, when I step into the ring and put this title on the line... when the official takes this title away from me, I'm really not the Champion defending his title. I'm a guy fighting to earn that title each and every time. Each and every time I win a match with that belt on the line, it's like becoming EPW World Heavyweight Champion all over again.

THAT, Mr. Smallz, is a high that I just can't get enough of.

And I'm going to do it all over again this week at Wrestleverse.

[ Camera fades as Beast stares into the camera, EPW World Title gleaming in the view behind him. ]

 

[Mad Dog]

You fools gotsta learn...

(FADEIN to Boogie Smallz sitting in a lounge chair and rolling up a blunt. He begins to dry it by running a lighter over it and rotating it. He sits up in the chair and addresses the camera.)

BOOGIE SMALLZ: Ya know, sum of tha folks herre really crack me up. Whether it’s Beast talkin’ ‘bout how EPW is his “yard”. (Smirks and shrugs his shoulders.) I’m sorry dawg, I didn’t see your name anywhere on it. And last time I checked, didn’t tha owner of this company give you some ish about openin’ your mouth and sayin’ ish that ain’t true?

The only “brah” ‘round herre is tha one you wore at Aggression, b*tch.

Another triscuit herre that cracks me up is this fool Benjamin Adam. TWO THANGS stuck out with me when I heard Benji’s lil’ spiel. Can you guys cue up tha footage?

(The tape rolls of Adam Benjamin’s last promo.)

AB: Smallz a name defining of something small, dare I ask?

(Tape pauses and cut to a shot of Boogie.)

BS: That’s all good dawg. Go ahead and try to make a joke. But if ya don’t know me…NOW ya know me. (Grins.) Roll the next clip.

(The tape rolls again of Benjamin’s promo.)

AB: …you still were measured by Yours Truly.

(The tape ends and the scene cuts back to Boogie.)

BS: You a little obsessed, dawg? Why you all worried about tha size of people’s wangs? Did God not grace you with a package you can be proud of? Herre you go talking about MEASURIN’ Beast and then you try and say I got a small package. I thought with your name and how you talked that you might be a little funny…then I saw you were from jolly ol’ England…and well…that explains a lot.

You’re nobody, Adam. You think because you were the World champ for some half-ass fed, that it can hold a candle to what I’ve done in this business? Triscuit, please! Maybe it might mean sumthin’ to your boy, Beast…but it don’t mean a damn thang to me…potna’!

Sum of tha ish you spit in your promo made sense, but most of tha time I sat herre wonderin’ “what tha fu**” because you just kept rambling on and on. I don’t know how to tell you this, than to just say it. You’re borin’, dawg. You’re stiff. Seems to me like maybe you should be “mack diggitying the G unit” or whatever tha hell ya said to try and mock a brotha’. If you’re tha future…then this company doesn’t have much of one.

(Boogie leans back in his seat and puffs his blunt. The look on his face is as if he doesn’t have a care in the world.)

Tha Alpha Male? (Grins.) Riiiight. (Shakes his head.) Sorry dawg, but that vision of you in a dress is…maybe you should be called the Alpha Female. You think tha humiliation stopped when you walked off tha stage? It’s good that you think that way, but I saw it on TV and was crackin’ up tha whole time. And you can’t tell me tha fellas in tha back weren’t laughin’ therre ass off either. You looked ridiculous dawg…like a got-damn fool! And this is Empire Pro’s best? This is EPW’s World champion?

No wonder they are tryin’ to push me into tha main event so damn fast.

This place needs a World champ it can be proud of. Empire Pro needs someone to carry this company to new heights. Someone that won’t dress in drag and make a mockery of this biznuss. Someone that has an impeccable track record for kickin’ ass and bein’ a champion. Someone that ALREADY is tha World champion…tha REAL World champion.

ME!

(Boogie reaches down and hoists up the GXW Unified World title. He rests it on his shoulder, in camera view.)

This right herre. This is tha ONLY World title anyone should be concerned with. I’ve had threats on my life, my family, my career, and ya know what…I DON’T GIVE A F*CK! If that lil’ b*tch-made drunk, Erik Zieba, wants to make threats…make ‘em. But my life goes on. I will be damned if I let him or anyone else run it!

Beast, I came herre with a reason…a purpose. At first it was a hidden agenda, but under tha circumstances as of late…tha whole f*ckin’ world already knows about it.

I came herre to unify tha World titles. EPW’s and GXW’s. Am I wrong for that? To want to make a livin’ while some douche bag in Germany tries to play God with my life? I don’t think so. But enough airtime for him.

This is about Wrestleverse. This is about why I came to Empire Pro. Why I am in this biznuss to begin with. To prove that I am tha best and to beat those that say they are better than me.

Beast, get ready for detox…because that “high” you are so fond of feelin’…AIN’T COMIN’ BACK! Because after Wrestleverse, I’ll be tha man wearin’ tha EPW World title.

Now don’t get upset. I got a phat sack of sticky-icky with your name on it. You can get high all ya want, but if you want to use MY future title as A FIX…then you might as well check into rehab.

BELIEVE ‘DAT!

Fade me out.

(The camera zooms in on Boogie mean mugging the camera, blunt dangling out of his mouth. FADE TO BLACK.)

 

[MarcusWestcott]

[ Fade in to an EPW set, a black backdrop with a run down chain link fence. A huge banner with the EPW logo hangs in the middle of the backdrop. Standing in front of it is EPW World Heavyweight Champion Beast, his EPW Title around his waist. ]

Beast: So, this is the great Boogie Smallz, huh?

This is the GXW World Heavyweight Champion? This is the guy that everyone raves about?

Color me disappointed.

Maybe I got my hopes up a little bit. I was all stoked about seeing what this supposedly amazing talent could bring, and I'd have to say, it fell a little bit short of the mark. I'll have to remind myself about expecting too much when I face these supposed "legends".

Boogie Smallz, the guy that's kicked all kinds of ass over in GXW and is supposedly their greatest Champion, and all he can come up with is more of the played out dress jokes? Please.

You're SO two weeks ago.

Although, I'll give you the Alpha Female line. Hell, even I laughed out loud at that one.

However, if you're just going to judge me by one match in a dress, then son, I want some of what you're smoking.

Everyone who's anyone in EPW has fallen to me, Boogie. Christian Sands, who I won the belt off of. Adam Benjamin, who I defeated in a classic - while we're speaking of unifying titles, I guess that makes me the new MCW Champion. Adam, I'll expect my title in a nice velvet lined case at showtime, kaythanksbye. John Marx, the guy that can't shut up about how he's the point leader over in NFW or whatever it is - just another prey. I've beaten the Tag Team Champions all by my damn self.

Damn, I'm collecting a lot of gold around here lately.

Boogie, the company EPW may not have my name on it, [ Beast taps the title ], but this World Heavyweight Championship sure as hell does, and that's plenty good enough for me.

EPW HAS a Champion it can be very proud of, and will continue to be very proud of for a damned long time to come.

But don't worry, Booger. the REAL World Champion is going to step forward here at Wrestleverse. We're going to take care of your goals. We're going to give your reasons meaning. We're going to satisfy your purpose.

F*ck that Zieba b*tch. He's got a real problem with opening his mouth up in public and saying sh*t he shouldn't say. E-Z, if you're watching, why don't you come down here to EPW and allow me to shut your mouth for you.

You want to unify the EPW and GXW titles?

Let's do it.

Only problem is, you're going on the Beast-approved diet. You're going to take a sh*t-kicking, and you're going to lose a bunch of weight around your waist.

The one sad thing about the Beast-approved diet is, that once I put someone on that diet, I always end up gaining weight around the waist.

In gold.

I guess it's not so sad after all.

After Wrestleverse comes and goes, and I've "kicked the habit", the EPW billboards are still going to be advertising the "EPW World Champion: Beast". I'll guess I'll be saving Ryan some money in advertising.

Whoops. Maybe not. He'll have to change them to say "EPW & GXW Champion: Beast".

Sorry, Mr. Ryan.

Smallz, get ready. Your light is going OUT.

Now believe THAT.

[ FTB ]

 

[Adam_Benjamin]

{Fade into Adam Benjamin standing outside of some broken down hood. Many abandon cars are seen, a few homeless guys, and even a few random hookers and pimps are seen walking delusional in the background. Adam gives a grimacing look towards were he is and begins talking}

Benjamin:

"Fans of Yours Truly do not be alarmed, I am not moving to this vial disgusting neighborhood. No I just wanted to get a feel for one of my opponents, to see were he comes from, and what he is all about. But first lets talk about the champ shall we. Beast I have taken a moment to hear your words, and they are all true. We faced off in a classic match, but a classic as it was in the end you left with the title. I was left with the questions, the answers that still remains, can I get the job done?

(Adam looks down then back into the camera)

Benjamin:

"Beast you took advantage of one flaw, yet I am confident that this week it will be you Beast making that one flaw. I mean like you said no man is perfect right. I mean take to the fact that after my loss to you I defeat Cruise, then last week lost to Doe, thus I am only on a one loss streak, not three as you stated. And you know a funny thing has happen throughout my career, after every loss, I have bounced back and defeated my very next opponent. Some could call that luck, I call it preparation, dedication to be the best this company has to offer. But Beast mistakes happen and I really take pride in my work like you have said, and I thank you for those grand words, however this week I am taking all my pride and going to once again give you a battle, take the last battle hell double it, that is the kind of battle I am bringing, for unlike my other opponent who got a title shot handed to him, I might not see this chance, this moment, a title shot again. So hand the title over to the time keeper, but make sure you loosen the screw on the name plate, for soon enough it will read Adam Benjamin...

(Adam looks around in discussed)

Benjamin:

"Triscuit that is cute, much like cracker, however being English, triscuit fits better. You know Boogie for being a grand old champion of GXW I would hope to see better out of you then the old rewind the tape and talk about it promos. I mean you can cut all the good parts out, and play the flaws, man that is what being a champ is all about. I would tip my forty to you, but I am regal and I don't drink forties. I mean yeah the Smallz line was a joke, excuse Yours Truly for being funny, I mean I am so dull as it is, or is it stiff, I believe that is the word you used. Now I must admit I am one stiff wrestler inside the ring. I wrestle a strong style, and I tend to be stiff with out regard for my opponent. Now as far as the MCW title goes, and no I do not have it with me, nor am I about to puff a blunt, for that title is dead, it is worthless because the fed closed, much like GXW closed, and with its closure went the worth of that title you are so proudly carrying around. I mean you act as if you defended that title with pride, I mean who do you think you are John Miller? Yeah he was a champion that could hold worth to that title, you, well you are just holding onto it to attempt to make a name for yourself. But hey it worked you are in this match, but rest assure your gift of a title shot here in EPW will soon become a reality to the fact that you might have gotten lucky in GXW but in today's world in EPW, you are just another guy trying to get noticed. So buy all the weed you want, hang out with all the thugs you see around me, but rest assure at Wrestleverse I will make sure you are simply Blacked Out....

(Adam looks around again almost vomiting as a homeless man in urinating on a pole, Adam shakes his head and gets into his car as speeds off. Fade to Black)

 

[MarcusWestcott]

[ Fade in to an EPW set, a black backdrop with a run down chain link fence. A huge banner with the EPW logo hangs in the middle of the backdrop. Standing in front of it is EPW World Heavyweight Champion Beast, his EPW Title around his waist. ]

Beast: This is tremendous.

Cam, old buddy, you'd make a great lawyer. Arguing with half-truths and "almosts", man, you make a convincing argument.

Let's see... Ryan's been LETTING me win?

Riiiiiiiiiight.

The week after I won the title in Nashville? Better check the tape again, slapass... we lost that match because I DID kick out in time, but my dear opponent this week thought he was being funny by screwing me out of the match, and costing our team the victory.

Yeah, Ryan really let me win that one.

But it's alright, Cam. Continue to make those arguments against videotaped evidence that proves you wrong. You'll look just great.

Adam Benjamin? Yeah, Cam, I've gone on record a few times and said that he gave me a hell of a match. Yes, he did ALMOST beat me there, but son, in case you haven't heard, ALMOST only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. The point is, he still didn't have enough to beat me. Or perhaps you missed the part where I actually *used my skill* to duck the superkick, and then actually had the time to pumphandle Adam into the Absolution 2K4 and drop him on his head and get the pin.

Yeah, I got real lucky there.

Try again, slappy.

And last week? Hell, same thing. Yeah, you may have been in shock over Ryan smashing Melton, but tell me, how much time does it take to turn around and allow yourself to get put into a pumphandle?

Exactly.

And then *snap*, your lights went OUT.

Face it, Cam, you got beat.

But I guess I shouldn't expect anything more. Hell, you came at me with nothing last week in your interviews, and this week, you just can't let go, and you're just DYING to try and find a way to say something negative about me.

Try again, putz.

Now, onto Mr. Benjamin...

Who I believe is smoking about as much as Booger is...

Where did I say that you'd lost three in a row? Are you a little high? Have you and Boogie been off sharing the blunt and not inviting me? For shame, Adam.

I'll just have to take you off my Christmas card list.

Let's talk about flaws and mistakes, shall we?

We've all mentioned it, Adam. I won the match between us because I was able to capitalize on your mistake. And really, this isn't a "go to the store and pick up the wrong kind of ketchup" kind of mistake. Pay attention to what I said earlier this week.

No one is perfect, Adam. We all make mistakes. Every time one of us hits a move on an opponent, that's a mistake by the opponent.

It's all how you deal with it.

I was able to put you away. You couldn't get the job done.

Recurring theme, no?

That is why I am standing here today the EPW World Heavyweight Champion. I was able to capitalize on that flaw, and get the job done. See, Adam, you're right. I'm going to make a mistake or 5 during the match this week. So are you. So is Blunt-boy.

The difference is who's going to be able to take advantage of it.

I don't believe that Boogie-boy is going to be conscious enough to do it.

When it all comes down to the brass tacks, you've shown you can't, unless you're facing everyone's favorite whipping boy, Cameron Cruise.

Do the math, junior. It all adds up to Beast retaining the EPW World Heavyweight Championship.

You want to bring it? Bring it. Bring it double. Hell, bring it triple. The more you bring it, the more you're going to force me to fight back. You're going to make me step up my game, and hey, that's fine with me. You've shown me you don't quite have what it takes already, and if you want to make me fight even harder and be that much better, then by all means, bring it on.

Your lights will go out that much longer.

And "Yours Truly" will just be just another prey, another victim of the Beast.

[ FTB ]

 

[Adam_Benjamin]

{Fade into Adam Benjamin seen on a golf course hitting off a tee. The ball is seen flying off a perfect swing Adam seen in motion coming back from the shot looks into the camera as he takes a seat on his cart and begins talking}

Benjamin:

"Golf is such a relaxing sport. One must take all that is around him in, simply enjoy the course, man this is nice. The days are slowly fading away, soon very soon my chance at greatness will be upon my very finger tips. I decided today to just come out here and get my mind mentally prepare for war, because this week at Wrestleverse I expect nothing less than a war. To take the title away from our champion is going to be the toughest task in my entire career, a task that has me jacked."

(Adam smiles as he looks up into the sunny sky, taking a huge breath of fresh air as he looks back into the camera and continues talking)

Benjamin:

"Beast I must inform you that when taking the title "Sir" in my country my honor code was vowed to my queen. And with that honor I would never partake in such smoking rituals as Boogie does. I mean in my country "Puff" was a magical pet dragon of Peter's, not some notion of taking a hit of marijuana thank you very much."

(Adam smiles as he takes a drink of water from the panel on his cart)

Benjamin:

"Now about the three losses or now mistakes as they are now being called. By the way A plus job on the fix ups in your interviews Beast. You are a technical master of editing, but hey you are the champ. But I believe you forgot that I beat Cruise, thus thought I had lost to you, then to Doe, and would this week loose to you again, thus creating a streak of three consecutive losses. But Beast lets not waist or time going back and forth over nickel and dine stuff, lets talk about what matters, and that is that your golds fait is hanging gracefully off the mountain."

(Adam makes a hanging motion with his hand)

Benjamin:

"Beast throughout our entire match you and I dug deep down, pulling out the near falls, battling the hand of the ref as it narrowly touched the mat for the last time. It is those moments, those near fall pull out were examples of oue desire to be the best. The last move in that match laid me out and there is nothing I can do to go back and change that. However this week, I get a chance to test my abilities again. That move is an after thought, match of the year, a thing of the past. I have a clean canvas this week and I am going to paint a picture of glory as I take my paint brush of talent and break out a master piece for all of my followers out there."

(Adam gives a little painting notion with his hand, smiling as he continues)

Benjamin:

"Beast mistakes are a fact of life, it is the response to error that counts and this week it will be I who will make all your mistakes count this time around. "When I reflect, as I frequently do, upon the felicity I have enjoyed, I sometimes say to myself, that were the offer made me, I would engage to run again, from beginning to end, the same career of life. All I would ask, should be the privilege of an author, to correct in a second edition, certain errors of the first". That was a quote from Benjamin Franklin much as the words rolled off his tongue they too reflect my own mind set Beast."

(Adam nodes as he takes another drink)

Benjamin:

"Beast this week I will bring it ten fold for I know no other way to bring it. So dial up the Beast meter and lets see who wants this title more. Is it the man with the gold, or the man in search of it. Yeah Beast I want you to step up your game, hell bring it all, for if our last match was a match of the year candidate then this one is going to be the actual match of the year. Two balls of desire, hitting at maximum speed, mark my worlds on my country and my queens honor I will not turn, I will not coward away Beast. Yours Truly will not be the prey of the Beast this time around Beast, unlike the hunter who hangs his prey up on the mantel I will only hang up the world title, for I will have no use for you after I take the EPW title from around your waist."

(Adam looks down and pulls out a huge poster)

Benjamin:

"Boogie I got a game of golf to finish, and I got to get to the gym, so my time is going to have to be cut short. So I took the time to make this poster for you, on it are my thoughts about you in general. I go into topics about your career, your smoking habits, your gift of a title shot..... You know what I am going to hang this up on the big old tree so everyone including you can read it. I hope you enjoy it, if not I do not care, This has been a moment with Yours Truly have a nice day."

(Adam drives over to a near by tree he gets out and tapes the poster to the tree smiling as he drives off, the camera man shows him driving off the zooms up for a close up to the poster which reads as follows)

Dear Boogie

"By now you know I have no time for you. My golf ball I hit moments ago is more important to me than you. In reality this match is between myself and Beast and you are the third wheel tagging along. I mean Boogie how many time are you going to hit the snooze button dog, your fifteen minutes of fame of being GXW champ is over. You see Boogie this week you have been handed a title shot, everyone in the world knows this except you. You want to come out like you own EPW because you were something some were else? Please Boogie make no mistake you have a shot this week at a title that some men have been dreaming of wrestling for, yet are busy earning there keep in EPW, working there way up the ladder, not fortunate enough to be handed a shot of a silver platter, or should I said rolled up in a blunt, either way you get my drift. Yours Truly earned this shot, I started in the federation on day one, earned the Intercontinental Championship, took my shot at the gold once, and now I am ready to make the next step. Not you boogie you got a hand out, a free meal, a free pass, you got by the man, good job. But at last this week you gift will go without a wrapper for I assure you that in the end your hand will not be raised high in the air. You thoughts of rolling two titles into a fatty will go out the window... In closing take all that you have done and flush it, for this week you might go into the match thinking I am some nobody due to your own arrogance, however when it is all said and done you will know first hand why I am the New age Technician, for I will be the man holding the title high above all that are below me. Peace out Boogie!!!

The camera zooms out of the poster showing the sky and the course once again, the slowly fades to black)

 

[MarcusWestcott]

Out of the mouths of babes

[ Fade in to an EPW set, a black backdrop with a run down chain link fence. A huge banner with the EPW logo hangs in the middle of the backdrop. Standing in front of it is EPW World Heavyweight Champion Beast, his EPW Title around his waist. ]

Beast: Jeez-alou... just HOW MUCH network time can one guy waste saying absolutely nothing?

Wasteful: "Expending, or tending to expend, property, or that which is valuable, in a needless or useless manner."

Hey Adam, in the dictionary, next to the word "wasteful", did you know that there's a picture of you with a big sh*t-eating grin on your face? Dan Ryan's gonna have to be firing people to make up for the cost of your interview time.

Speaking of dictionaries, try using one sometime. Nickel and dine? Is that how you treat your dates, Adam? Where do you feed someone on a nickel these days, anyway? Talk about your cheap dates. Wow.

Yup, stereotypical Brit. Long-winded, nose stuck up in the air, big eared, tight-assed b*tch. And to think I was starting to respect you for your talent. God, I HATE that Canada is still a member of the British Empire. I'd like to sit down with a newspaper or good book and take a CRAP all over your British honor, Adam. It's that same honor that led the Royal Family to treat Lady Diana and Sarah Ferguson the way they did. Christ, it's the same train of thought that makes people think that soccer - ooops, sorry, I mean FOOTBALL - is a real sport.

Can you tell I'm not fond of the British?

It's tremendous that people around here continually have to badger me about things away from the wrestling ring. You know little things, like "yeah, you ALMOST lost to Benjamin", or "forgot that I beat Cruise." So bloody what. Or you got Troy freaking Douglas over there shooting his mouth off that he got a win over me. Everyone has to rip me for something other trivial sh*t, since they can't beat me inside the ring.

Wise up, smartass. You didn't get a win over me. You got the benefit of my lovely opponent being high enough that he decided to screw me out of the match and count the pinfall, even though I kicked out with plenty of time. I've been BEATEN once. Or maybe, Troy, you've just had your ass kicked so often that you can't tell the difference between sh*t and shinola anymore.

So, Adam... yeah, you got me, right in the heart. I missed your "glorious" win over Cameron Cruise. Do you think that means anything in EPW anymore? Beating Cameron Cruise is like beating your own grandmother. Tastes great, but it's less filling.

Plus, it's way too easy.

Anyway, I made a little verbal blunder, submitted my interview to management, and then realized that I'd f*cked up.

You know, that little thing we've been talking about all week long? Everyone makes mistakes?

But, it's all how you deal with it.

So, I talked to Dear Mr. Ryan, and he gave me his blessing to correct my little error.

It ain't rocket science, genius. It's amazing what any idiot can do with a video camera, tape, and a VCR. I'm not fricking MacGyver or anything.

Hell, look what Pamela Anderson did with hers.

But anyway, enough of that. Let's get on with the match, shall we?

This belt {pats the EPW World Heavyweight belt around his waist} is NOT hanging off the mountain. It's not there, ready for just anyone to grab, to take for their own. No way, Jose, this belt is *firmly* strapped around my waist. You're going to have to beat me for it, and unless you can scramble my brains and knock me clean out, there's no way in hell you're going to do that, Adam. You're going to have to make it physically impossible for me to get my shoulder off the mat before the three count. I WILL NOT STOP until my hand is raised in victory. As long as I can breathe, as long as my heart is pumping blood through my veins, I WILL NOT QUIT.

Do you understand that, Adam? Can you possibly comprehend what that means?

You say you *want* this belt more than I do.

Respectfully, Adam...

You're full of sh*t.

You've held Championship gold before. You were the MCW Champion, before I beat your ass last time. You know what it's like to climb the mountain and stand on top. You say that you've busted your ass to get here since day 1 of EPW since this place opened their doors...

Well, let me tell you something, hot shot. THIS TITLE... this Championship... for me, it is the culmination of over four long years. A journey from when I was one of the most hated men in this industry, through the times that I saw the bigger picture and did the right thing, through title shots and failures in other promotions, to FINALLY standing on top of that mountain. With this title, I have finally done it, and I'll be damned if it isn't the greatest feeling in the world. To wear that symbol around your waist that says that you are the absolute best... like I said earlier this week, each match, this title is taken away, only for me to win it back again.

I WILL BE DAMNED if I'm going to let that feeling pass, to let that euphoria slip out of my fingers.

It JUST.ISN'T.GOING.TO.HAPPEN.

Last time we faced, Adam, you questioned my passion, you questioned my desire for this title. You questioned everything I am, and what happened?

You got your lights put out.

Last time you told me you were bringing your A game.

You got your lights put out.

Do you see a pattern?

How is this time around going to be any different? What? You've been training, saying your prayers, and eating your vitamins? What makes you think that going over the same things this time is going to make it any different?

All of that isn't going to change the fact that I am just that much better inside that ring than you are.

You push me, I push back that much harder. You punch me, I punch back, that much harder. You hit me with the Brain Rocker, I hit you back with the Absolution 2K4 and shut your brain off for a little while.

With me, Adam, you've reached your potential. Bring it your ten fold, I don't care. I will just fight back that much harder, as there isn't any wrestler in EPW that can take this title away from me.

Oh. One more thing.

You keep harping on Boogie Smallz that he got handed this title shot. That he got a gift. That he got lucky.

That you busted your ass for this shot. That you earned it.

Newsflash, junior.

At Wrestleverse, this was Troy Douglas' shot.

But for whatever reason, "Book 'em Dan-o" pulled him out of it.

But, there had to be a title match, right? You can't have a PPV without a World Title match, so SOMEBODY had to get the shot.

How did you get the shot?

Right.

It was HANDED to you on a silver platter.

You did nothing to earn this shot. Get your ass kicked by the Champ? Lose to John Doe? Beat Cameron Cruise? What did you do, anyway? Get down on your knees in front of Dan Ryan?

Stunning. Absolutely stunning.

There's that British honor I was talking about.

After Wrestleverse, Adam, not only am I going to hang this World Title on my mantle...

I'm going to hang your head right next to it.

[ FTB ]

 

[Adam_Benjamin]

{Fade into Adam Benjamin standing outside his gym talking on a cell phone.}

Benjamin:

"Yeah man it will be night you and I both will remember, ok mate good luck as well, talk to you later."

(Adam hangs up his cell phone with a huge grin on his face, as he looks into the camera)

Benjamin:

"Well Champ it looks as if you got the crew together to toss out some fighting words. So the champ does not like England? Likewise the feeling, however how that will keep the title around your waist still fails to present itself. I mean your burning time talking down my country means little to me, you have simply wasted you own breathe."

(Adam shrugs his shoulders)

Benjamin:

"You know champ I was so glad to hear you say "But anyway, enough of that. Let's get on with the match, shall we". For Beast that is all I care about. I could care less about you, Boogie, all I care about is the title you hold so dearly around your waist. Now you say that the title belt is not hanging off the mountain? I believe you are dead wrong Beast. You see you are the man on top of the mountain, you hold the gold and represent the very best this company has to offer. Now as you have said in the past when you defend your title each and every time you hand that title over to the referee, ready and willing to fight your heart out to in one way win it again? So at Wrestleverse when you hand over that title, it will be hanging off the "mountain" so to speak now won't it. Beast we all know you have pride in your title, I know it is going to take all a lot to take the title, I have never said I was going to roll you over, however I am saying this, I will when it counts be the man that makes that last move matter most thus pinning or tapping your title rein to an end."

(Adam takes a breathe, and continues talking)

Benjamin:

"How does one go from saying that I gave him a hell of a match, and almost defeated him, to suddenly sticking out his chest and saying you beat my ass? I mean did you edit that match as well? You know Beast I do believe you are starting to get a bit upset, the mighty Beast is starting to show his temper. Beast in our last match we know you won, both of us were in the match, the tape is selling like a hot toy. But in that classic match I never remember it being a squash. I mean why would everyone call it a match of the year candidate, wouldn't it be a squash of the year candidate? The point is that match matters nothing this week all that matters in that once again you will put your title on the line against me, and once again you will have to dig down deep and find a way to beat me. I am not a betting man, however I am willing to go on record and say I believe it is going to be a lot harder for you to beat me a second time, than it will be for me to beat you once. I mean it took everything you had to beat me, you can with in inches or seconds many times of losing, can you fight off all that I gave again, because bet your ass I am bringing it more this time, I tasted it, and it was taken from me, now I am coming for what is mine."

(Adam smiles)

Benjamin:

"A journey from were you were one of the most hated men in this industry, through the times that I saw the bigger picture and did the right thing, through title shots and failures in other promotions, to FINALLY standing on top of that mountain. My god get this man a seat on Oprah! Or better yet I can see it now, "the true story of the journey of the Beast" this week on Lifetime! Come on Beast who cares about all that stuff. You talk about letting the euphoria of being champion slip out of your fingers tips? Beast I am not going to slip the title away this week, I am simply going to take it from you. Now you can hold onto it with you kung foo grip all you want, but in reality I am going to beat you this week and that is all that matters."

(Adam takes a moment and continues talking)

Benjamin:

"You slap, I slap harder, you push, I push harder.... What is this anything you can do I can do better.... Champ lets get serious shall we. I mean now you are asking how I got in this match? Lets see I am the former IC champ, I took you the champ to the limit, I beat in the past Douglas, who I am sure you wanted to face. I was poised to face Boogie for the number one contender at the PPV, however they took that match made us both contenders and smack down you got a three way match. I mean fans all over wanted this rematch, Beast and Benjamin, it seems only now that it is happening you are questioning it? Please Beast I know you look at me as a threat, but this cover up you are tossing out is weak. I did not get on my hands anywhere near Ryan he just gave the fans what they wanted. Beast that hang on the mantle line, that is original very nice. The fact is Beast when the final bell sounds this week and I am walking away the new EPW champion everyone will know I am better than you. I am not going to say I am better than you now, I am going to show everyone in the ring this weekend. But rest assure Beast when I do win this week you will not be so lucky too be able to edit any mistakes this time.... See you around champ hold it close to your heart, allow your soul to feel the belts warmth, for these moments you spend as the time fades away are the memories you will be left with when I defeat you this week."

(Adam smiles as he looks into the camera)

Benjamin:

"Be on the look out for a male approximately 6'9, black skin, goes by the name Boogie, he is lost, and we hope he is found. Oh boogie this week I get the chance, to prove you are simple a thing of the past. Bring you game dog, bring it strong.

(Adam looks into the camera as it fades black)

 

[MarcusWestcott]

*yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwnnnn*

[ Fade in to an EPW set, a black backdrop with a run down chain link fence. A huge banner with the EPW logo hangs in the middle of the backdrop. Standing in front of it is EPW World Heavyweight Champion Beast, his EPW Title slung over his left shoulder. Beast fights hard to stifle a yawn before he speaks. ]

Adam, Adam...

Are you ALWAYS this BORING?

Dan Ryan already took out ONE loan to pay for your wasted network time, and now you come up with THIS tripe?

Ahh well, I guess no one ever accused the British of being exciting or anything.

Yeah, Benji, ya got me. The secret's out. I'm not a big fan of England. I mean, real men drink coffee, not tea. How is that going to help me win this match?

Oh, how you fail to think outside the box. That, along with your charismatic personality and your penchant for boring the hell out of anyone within earshot makes you the envy of advertising companies everywhere, makes for an outstanding specimen, it really does.

But back to my point.

It's one thing to go in there and respect someone else's ability, but haven't you ever gone into a match with someone, and they've really gotten under your skin, and annoyed you to the end of your rope? It kinda makes you want to put that extra put of crispness into your moves. The clotheslines become just a bit stiffer. The suplexes are just a bit faster. The body slams are just a bid harder. Your brain rattles around in your skull just a little bit faster, as the head dropping is that much harder. You just feel like kicking the sh*t out of the guy across the ring from you just a little more passionately than usual.

Why, Adam?

Why the sudden change of heart?

It's easy. You're British.

Don't get me wrong, Adam. I still respect what you did in our last match. But the question is, when Wrestleverse I has come and gone, and I still have this EPW World Heavyweight Championship, will you still respect me in the morning?

That's where the fighting words have come from. That's where "beat your ass" came from. That's where the temper is starting to show through. Ask JA, he knows very well that I do have, and have always had, a bit of a nasty temper. If you would have really watched all the tapes you said you've watched, you'd know the same thing.

Speaking of which, JA, I still owe you a CD. And hey, congrats on winning the Intercontinental title. I know it's a bit late, but it's still deserved. I know you'll do EPW proud with that strap around your waist. Start it off right by beating the 'bot, ok?

But back to you, Adam.

Where does all this come from, Adam?

From something you will never have.

Case in point. For God's sake, LISTEN to yourself, would ya?

"I mean it took everything you had to beat me, you can with in inches or seconds many times of losing".

Jesus, NOW you're starting to sound like Cameron Cruise, and believe me, son, that is never a good thing. Yup, shouting out to the world how CLOSE you came but still FAILED is going to do a lot to endear yourselves to the good folks.

"I am not a betting man, however I am willing to go on record and say I believe it is going to be a lot harder for you to beat me a second time, than it will be for me to beat you once."

Let's break that down, shall we?

You're not a betting man. Translation: You're not confident in your abilities. You can't come out and tell me that you can get the job done, because you're not sure you can.

"I believe it is going to be a lot harder for you to beat me a second time, than it will be for me to beat you once."

You believe - or you know? What is it? What is it you're missing? Either you can come out and put your money where your mouth is, or you're not quite ready to play at this level yet. You're missing the final piece of the puzzle, and it's not something you can acquire easily. You're either born with it, or you're not.

And you obviously don't have it. If you did, your promos would be more entertaining than watching flies f*ck, which is about what happens when you come on the airwaves. If you had it, someone coming along and talking down my country would piss me the hell off.

You're boring, and you're not a patriot, either. Outstanding.

You know what it is? It's called passion, son. It's about wanting something so much you can taste it. It's about going for it while running in headfirst. It's about believing in something so much you want to die for it. It's about wrestling twice in the same night for an hour and a half with an injured shoulder, and coming up with one of the biggest wins in your career.

That's passion. That's pride. That's why I am the EPW World Heavyweight Champion, and the absolute best this company has to offer.

And that's something you'll never be.

Quit walking around with your nose up in the ear, your ears flapping out to the side, and so tight-assed like you're afraid you're going to drop a load, or that Christian Sands is going to shove his unit into it. Show some drive... show some fire... show some PASSION.

Or you're going to continue to be the little engine that couldn't.

And, I'll thank you kindly for not shoving words into my mouth. Really, Adam, I know you like shoving things into people's mouths to get want you want, like this title shot, but it's not going to fly with me, pal. I never ever called our match a squash win. The fact of the matter is this, Adam, you came, you brought it, and whether it was close or not, you got dropped on your head and got your lights put out.

I beat your ass.

And as far as that title hanging off the mountain bullsh*t goes, put it this way, Adam.

You got it just like I said it. Every time I defend this title, it gets taken away and I have to win it back all over again.

However, it gets placed back at the top of the mountain. I have to fight and claw and scratch my way back up to the top each and every night. I don't stop at the edge of the mountain, Adam, I go right to the top.

The edge of the mountain is for losers like you that don't quite have what it takes to get to the top. You've got what it takes to get close, but you just can't quite reach the Apex.

And you become another downed prey.

Oh, sh*t, I almost forgot! Stop the presses! Deploy the National Guard! Was that... *gasp* ... an attempt at humor from our snot-nosed little Brit? Nah, couldn't have been if all he could come up with is Oprah. Who cares about all that stuff, Adam? I do. The 20,000 fans that come out to see us every night and chant my name care about stuff like that.

It's that "stuff" that made me the man I am today. It shaped who I am, and shaped how I got to where I am.

Jeez, it made me EPW World Heavyweight Champion. Maybe there's actually some stock in that. Dismiss it all you want, but you'll be left underestimating me, and that's NOT a good thing to do when you're stepping into the ring with the World Heavyweight Champion.

One last thing, Adam.

If you had done ANY of the research on me that you've said you've done - again, more bullsh*t - you'd know that I never turn down a challenge. If fans all over wanted this match, then fine by me. If the tape's selling like hotcakes, then it's all good. You know me better than that - hell, I wrestled in a f*cking DRESS last week. Know THIS, Mr. Benjamin, that I am the epitome of fighting Champion. I will take an anyone - anywhere, and at any time, in any kind of a match, and yes, I will summon all the intestinal fortitude, skill, willpower, heart, determination, and passion that I have, and I will force myself to stay awake through another Adam Benjamin promo to do it.

I don't question this match, Adam. I simply question your words.

If you and Booger were destined to have a #1 Contender match at Wrestleverse to determine who would face me next, and it's ok for YOU to get put into the World Title match, then why is it not ok for Booger to get put in it as well?

You can't have it both ways, Adam.

Freaking hippocrite.

The only way it's going to be, is that three men will walk into Wrestleverse I, and only one will leave with the EPW World Heavyweight Championship.

Booger? Hell, I don't think the boy's able to find his way out of his own house.

You?

We already know you don't have what it takes.

I guess that would leave me.

Just like I've continually said, standing atop the mountain, the Alpha Male of EPW.

And you'll just be another one of the guys who got close, but just not close enough.

[ FTB ]

 

[Adam_Benjamin]

[The screen begins playing a commercial, a voice is heard to the beat of music and clips.....]

"Founded in 1984, Cirque du Soleil is world-renowned for its completely unique brand of theatrical arts presentations. In Las Vegas, Cirque du Soleil has an exclusive partnership with MGM MIRAGE to create and present unique and innovative productions, which include Mystère at Treasure Island, "O" at Bellagio, and ZUMANITY, ANOTHER SIDE OF CIRQUE DU SOLEIL at New York-New York."


{suddenly the commercial comes to a end. As the camera comes on Adam Benjamin is seen standing in front of an EPW set, a black backdrop with a run down chain link fence. A huge banner with the EPW logo hangs in the middle of the backdrop. He has grin on his face as he begins talking}

Benjamin:

"Sorry to those who thought there were going to be entertained by the "Cirque du Soleil today. No there will be no such entertainment in this interview. You want to see them buy a ticket. Today I am talking straight up, so take a minute a listen to the future of EPW. Fans I am sorry I do not jump rope, I do not do the electric slide, I am not a ventriloquist, nor am I an actor playing the part of a wrestler. What you see before you is a Wrestle, that is what I do, I am not here in EPW to entertain, I am here to simply wrestle. My interview talk about the truth and if the truth is boring oh well. Beast all you have left is to call me boring? I mean you of all people should talk. Take a look around me familiar setting aren't they? Yeah that is because you do all your little promo's right here. You stand here in front of the EPW banner holding that belt ever so tighter each time you come out here."

(Adam laughs)

Benjamin:

"So all this anger, all this rage, all them fighting words and sudden change of heart are due to me being English correct Beast? I mean you said it yourself, so I will take that as an answer to the new found opinion of me. Man to think I was thinking that maybe it was because you were starting to get worried that your title was in jeopardy. But I guess I am wrong, its because I am English. It is because I am English that you have chanced your opinion of me since our last match. Fans I am at a lost for words, I would not have been able to guess the reason for Beast new hatred for Yours Truly, I really wouldn't. I mean I was English last time we faced, I did not just become English this week. So I am at a lost for words Beast. I mean come on Beast really your cracks in your championship armor are starting to show. You can use the English excuse, I know it is fear of losing something that is pressing your temper."

(Adam laughs)

Benjamin:

"First you talk about Cruise, now you are talking about JA, stop trailing away Beast, none of those guys are going to be able to help you this week. When I said I was not a betting man I was referring to not being a gambler Beast, I am fully confident in myself this week. I have not a shadow of a doubt that I am walking out champion this week. And come on the term I believe or I know are the same thing Beast stop playing games. Beast way to break out the Passion lines, the tasting it, willing to do anything, man they are some original self descriptions let me tell you."

(Adam smiles again)

Benjamin:

"Beast my champion I am not walking around with my noise in the air, I am just a confident man. And what is the Sands assaulting me sexually from behind line about? Were did that come from? Man you are drifting away Beast. maybe I should put a bell on you so you do not get lost bofore our match. I mean Beast the belt hangs off the mountain when it is on the line, come on get it right. When you win like you have it rest on top. How many times are you going to mess a simple "Mountain" analogy up Beast? Oh and Beast Boogie walked into EPW had one match, and now has a shot at the Title, now I have been here since day one, and earned this shot."

(Adam looks around the setting and continues talking)

Benjamin:

"This week is not about me entertaining anyone, it is about Yours Truly taking a giant step forward and grasping the EPW championship. I have been IC champion, I battled through a tough war in a close loss to the champ, and now I am poised to concur during the rematch. Beast you will truly be a champion if you can fight off my quest a second time, I am poised to prove you can't. Take a look at the man you see before you, I am Yours Truly Adam Benjamin the New Age Technician, and in a few shorts days Your EPW World Champion!"

(fade to black)

 

[MarcusWestcott]

Game Time

[ Fade in to an EPW set, a black backdrop with a run down chain link fence. A huge banner with the EPW logo hangs in the middle of the backdrop. Standing in front of it is EPW World Heavyweight Champion Beast, his EPW Title slung over his left shoulder. ]

Beast: Hol-eeeeee sh*t, Adam.

Not only are you a long-winded, nose stuck up in the air, big eared, tight-assed b*tch...

You don't have a personality, either.

Man, you try to say something, and there's jolly old Adam, latching onto that one word or phrase that he *just doesn't quite understand*, and then beating it to the point that everyone's forgotten what was said in the first place.

Let's clear something up for you, junior.

When I said that you were boring, and in not so many words unentertaining, I didn't mean that in a "Hi, I'm Adam Benjamin. I will cook you dinner while I tap dance and recite Shakespeare" kind of entertaining, I meant... well dammit, wait a minute, that wouldn't be very entertaining now, would it?

Let's try that again.

When I said that you were boring, and in not so many words unentertaining, I didn't mean that in a "Hi, I'm Adam Benjamin. I'm going to belch the alphabet while shooting myself out of a cannon, landing in a monster truck, and driving over the Queen as she sits in the first row" kind of entertaining...

Damn, I'd pay to watch that.

What I meant, Adam, was more like "Hi, I'm Adam Benjamin. You may remember me from such documentaries as 'The Life Cycle of a Gnat', 'Sand: Anatomy of A Grain', and my personal favorite, 'How To Tap Your Foot - In 100,000 Words Or Less'" kind of entertaining.

You're dry. You're dull. You're tired. You're monotonal. You deliver lines with the grace and inflection of a robot.

YOU HAVE NO CHARISMA!

Do you really believe that what we do is not supposed to be entertaining? I dare you - NO - I beg you to go up to the guy in the front row with his wife and four kids who sacrificed his paycheck to let his family have a good time for just one night, and TELL HIM that we're not supposed to entertain him and his family. They're not going to stand around and watch freaking Ben Stein in a wrestling interview, and then pay to see that chump when he comes to town to wrestle. They want to see the people that have life, passion, energy, they want to laugh, they want to cry, they want to be taken up and down the emotional rollercoaster.

Hell, even BASIC EMOTION will do it for them.

Sh*t, dude, you can't take them on that ride. You're just a flipping speedbump.

But I'm going to drive right over you at full speed anyway.

You think that all I have left is to call you boring?

Oh, ye of little faith. How you truly underestimate me.

It's on like Donkey Kong, b*tch.

Yeah, I know, I tune in to watch what everyone's got on their mind to see them mock their environment. Truly outstanding. I thought such a fine traditional wrestler as yourself would appreciate a bit of old-school interview, but I was sorely wrong there.

So, we reach this point. Not only are you a long-winded, nose stuck up in the air, big eared, tight-assed, uncharismatic b*tch...

You're an Indian-giver too! You teased everyone, Adam. You teased them with the Cirque-du-F'N Soleil. You teased them, and then you took it away.

Funny, that's exactly what I'm going to do with you at Wrestleverse, Adam. Just when you think that your second time is a charm, just when you think you've beaten me, and that EPW World Heavyweight Championship is all yours for the taking...

I'm going to rise up just as I did the first time around, and I'm going to drive your head through the freaking canvas. All your close pinfalls, all your close seconds... all they're going to add up to is FAILURE.

Hey Adam, take another look in the dictionary. Look up the word sarcasm.

If you look closely enough, and be sure you read all the definitions - cause we all know you like to skip over important facts when they're shoved back in your face and they prove you wrong - there's one line there that says: sarcasm - Adam Benjamin has none.

Man, you're so nervous about this match, that you're so busy trying to inspect each word I throw out with a magnifying glass, and find SOME way to turn it back against me. You're shaking in your boots! However, the only thing you've done is gotten yourself all twisted up in knots.

For cyring out LOUD, Adam. I knew you were British the first time we met in the ring. But that's the very thing, isn't it? You stodgy moldy people take everything so damned seriously that if even the slightest thing's out of place, you get your pointy noses all twisted, and try and defend everything so damned *properly*. Dude, my opinion of you hasn't changed - I still respect everything thing you did in our last match.

But attacking the British is SO EASY. Look what it did to you - and you said that if someone talked down your country it didn't matter?

Have you never had anyone get under your skin, Adam? That's what you've done to me this week - mind you, not in a "this guy's so annoying, he's driving me crazy" type of way, but more of a "this guy's REALLY annoying - I think I'll kick his ass" kind of way.

But me, Adam, I've got you so worked up that you don't know gold from mold. You're so confused, and I've just played you like a fiddle. And when we get into that ring, you're not going to have a clue what to do.

GAME.OVER.

I mean, Christ, you're so wound up, that you've come out and even agreed with me that I'm going to beat you this time around. "I battled through a tough war in a close loss to the champ, and now I am poised to concur during the rematch."

Do you even understand what you're saying? You're going to agree with the result of the first match this time around?

Let's see you talk your way out of that one, smarty-pants.

For the record, Adam, I am not worried IN THE LEAST that my title might be in jeopardy. There have been no cracks in this armor. You've said on a number of occasions that you brought it all last time. That you're going to bring more this time.

That's right, Adam. You brought so much last time, that you ran out of your own ideas, and had to start ripping off someone else's finisher to try and beat me. What are you going to do this time to try and beat me - steal finishers from four or five people in an effort to put me down? How many people is it going to take? You brought it all and THEN some, and I still shocked you to sleep.

If you are indeed the future of EPW, we're all in for some very, very dark times.

Adam, I don't need to beat you a SECOND time to prove to ANYONE that I am truly a Champion. I did that the second I walked out of that cage at Unleashed against Christian Sands. After all, HE'S the guy that wrestled Jean Rabesque to a sixty - no - sixty six minute draw. I did it when I beat the Tag Team Champions on my own.

Whoops! Sh*t, I forgot that I wasn't supposed to talk about other people during an interview. It apparently makes you look like you're skirting the issue.

Adam, here's the way it's going to be.

At Wrestleverse, we're going to all get into the ring, and then I'm going to pin Boogie Smallz and add his GXW World Championship to my seemingly ever-growing collection. Then, I'm going to beat you like a red-headed step child and pin you in the middle of the ring to retain my EPW World Heavyweight Championship.

And son, against the Alpha Male, there isn't a God Damned thing you can do about it.

Go home and train some more, and we'll see you in a year or so when you might actually be ready for what I'm going to put you through.

[ FTB ]

 

[Mad Dog]

Oorp

I would like to apologize to the other participants in this match for my lack of activity. I’ve had several things come up that have occupied the free time I usually have to RP, mainly a research paper that I have due this week and the Titans game last Sunday. In hindsight, since the Titans lost…maybe it wasn’t a good idea.

I just wanted to drop a quick note and let everyone know my status.

I will do what I can to at least contribute one more post before the deadline.

Sorry guys.

- Joe

 

[Adam_Benjamin]

Final thoughts

{Fade into a English Bulldog wearing a small ballerinas outfit. The dog is sitting on the floor, as the camera fades up showing Adam Benjamin)

Benjamin:

"Fans let me introduce you to my English bulldog "Austin". He is a Beast let me tell you. A bit boring, however he is a blast to own. Now Austin is wearing a dress because he is preparing for Halloween next month and is going to be "Beast".

(Adam smiles, as Austin lays down and sleeps)



Benjamin:

"You know the interview process of this week is just about over. Myself, Beast, and Boogie all have given our opinions on the outcome of the main event at Wrestlverse. Each of us have full confidence in our own ability. However to step outside the box I would like to simple say good luck to both Boogie and Beast, and say let the best man win. I mean we each have a chance to make history, of which can never be edited from reality.

(Adam tosses a football off the floor, across the room for Austin to get, however he makes no move for it )

Benjamin:

"Regardless how I feel about you Beast, you ARE the champion and deserve your props for that. however despite that though, you are in SERIOUS need of checking your insecurities at the door. I mean all week you have used the BORING defense to hide your inability to address the REAL issues, which is your sudden loss of twelve pounds.

(Adam taps his waist)

Benjamin:

"Beast as a champion this week you have said a lot of things, however it is what you have been able to do in your interviews that have left me impressed. Yeah I got to admit, I admire you.... somewhat. I mean, you got to admire someone who can decipher how someone spells things merely be LISTENING to them speak. It is as if you were blind, and were reading my interview on brail."

(Adam raises his hands as if to ask a question)

Benjamin:

"Now as far as Yours Truly getting under your skin? Well I am sorry I could not resist it was so easy to do. And about England all I can say is racism is a disease that affects people with lack of brains. And about those words of hate towards England, please champ explain to the fan that I bore in the front row and his family of kids why there champion, a man that they should look up to, a role model figure so to speak, makes racist comments about other counties. And why we are at it explain to the fan in the front row how to explain to his kids why 'Beast' was wearing a dress. Silly fool those fans in the front row will leave talking about what happen in front of them. And to the family in the front row this week, well they get a front row seat for the crowning of a new champion. Big Tom gets to show little Tommy that if you work hard enough in life good things happen. Oh and Beast I hope that the family is not Indian, such words as 'Indian giver" might not be taken kindly, how rude of you champ."

(Adam smiles)

Benjamin:

"From dating a queen, to wearing a dress, to becoming a former champion? The last part will be decided in the very near future. Our past meeting will not matter this week Beast. All that is to be known of that match is that it was a classic, and in the end you beat me.

(Adam smiles)

"You have called me Boring, dull, stuck up, Indian giver, have big ears, tight assed b*tch, no personality, no heart, no charisma, bashed my country, talked about how you beat me in our past meeting in which I put of a nice struggle"....

(Adam pauses to take a breathe, then continues)

Benjamin:

"I am a speed bump, I am stuck at the edge of the mountain not good enough to be on top, I am longwinded, have no sarcasm, called me on spelling of words in a oral interview, called me nervous, told me I am twisted in knots, told me I am under your skin, I am so worked up I don't know gold from mold, you have played me like a fiddle, oh there are no cracks in your armor, I steal others finishers, I am a hypocrite, I have no fire, no drive, your going to drop me on my head and turn my lights out,

(Adam stops again for another breathe, the continues)

Benjamin:

"You are going to beat me like a redheaded step child, I hope he is not in the front row either Beast. Lets see you have called me on talking about Boogie getting handed a title shot. You have called yourself the Alpha male of EPW, that is as fresh as a six sided ring. You see Beast I have just taken the time to mention everything you have said about me this week. All the negative words our grand champion has spit out of his mouth about Yours Truly have been laid out by Yours Truly. Now Beast I ask you to tell the fans something they don't know about me... The floor is your champ, I am done talking this week, good luck to you, good luck to Boogie, I am coming to stand out of the three as the better man, I am focused, I am poised, and I am determined to be the next EPW Champion. So lets go live to EPW Champion Beast for his next interview, hopefully he will have something else to say about me... The truth is I have said it all, the only thing left is to take your title Beast, at that will happen in a few short days.

(Adam smiles ever so cocky, yet tremendously confident as the camera fades to black)

 

[MarcusWestcott]

Can't quite grasp it, eh Benji?

[ Fade in to the Pepsi Center, just minutes before Wrestleverse goes live and on the air. The arena is filled to overflowing, everyone glued to their seats, buzzing loudly, the anticipation building within the sold out crowd. A dull roar overcomes the crowd as they talks amongst each other as the house lights suddenly fade down to black, only the emergency lights providing pin-point beacons at the entrances.

The sounds of chanting monks gradually fills the arena, and the murmurs in the crowd grow as does their excitement, then as the chanting reaches a fever pitch, they suddenly fade out, and a monstrous red and white pyro burst explodes around the stage as the power chords to Nickelback's "Figure You Out" begin to blare over the PA, and the crowd explodes into an ovation that rocks the very foundation of the Pepsi Center as EPW World Heavyweight Champion Beast steps through the pyro smoke, decked out in jeans and a black "FEEL THE GORE" t-shirt, his EPW Title around his waist.

Beast heads to the ring, high-fiving and shaking hands with fans along the way, before he then reaches ringside and walks up the ring steps and steps between the ropes. He pulls a microphone out of his back pocket, and raises it to speak, but the cheers of the fans make him stop, and he lowers the mic to take in the cheers. When they finally settle down, Beast raises the microphone again. ]

Beast: Thank you so much for that welcome! You have no idea what that means! We're just a few minutes away from the opening bell, so I hope y'all don't mind if I come out here and talk to you first.

[ Another cheer from the fans gives him his affirmative, and he continues speaking. ]

Beast: However, I'll keep this short. I don't want to hold up the show too much, and besides, Adam Benjamin didn't really say much of anything with any value.

[ Laughter from the crowd. ]

Beast: Although, Adam, I've got to give you credit for wishing the best man win. Like I said last time, you made me respect your abilities, even though I don't always reflect that in the way I talk. You see, I too, would like to see the best man win.

And, as these 20,000 screaming Beasties as my witness...

That's exactly what I'm going to do.

[ Crowd pop! ]

Beast: Adam, there is no insecurity. I've come into this event knowing exactly what it is I must do. I have to defeat a guy that gave me a great match, and the last GXW Champion. Now, while Boogie hasn't been as vocal as I might have liked, I'm sure he has his reasons for that, and that's fine. That doesn't change the fact that I have to beat him right here tonight. I know this title is on the line, but after being in the ring with you, and knowing that even your own repetoire couldn't keep me down - not to mention parts of others - I'm absolutely certain that I'll be coming through with the big 'W' here tonight.

[ Cheers from the crowd. ]

Beast: I have a question for everyone in the audience. Now, don't worry, it's an easy one. Listen up a sec.

[ A stunning young woman yells from the front row. ]

Woman: WE LOVE YOU, BEAST!

[ Crowd cheers. ]

Beast: Hehehe... [ bows ] Why thank you, darlin'. I done gone and think you made my blush!

[ More cheers. ]

Beast: But what I was going... what I was going to say, was... damn, honey, you got me all shook up! What I was going to ask was this:

When you want something - an object... the remote control, whatever - and it's just a little farther away than you'd like, what do you to do get it? You r-

Crowd: REACH!!

Beast: Tremendous! You get a gold star. And that's exactly what Adam Benjamin is doing right at this minute. He's reaching for anything and everything he can to try and turn things around for himself. I mean, let's get real, Adam! I can tell how you spell by listening to you speak? Is this some twisted Hooked on Phonics game here you're playing?

Man In Audience: Worked for me!

[ Crowd laughs. ]

Beast: You specifically said "Nickel and dine". I don't need to see the word to know that when you say "dine", that you said "dine", and I HEAR the word "dine". It's not like I'm the Great Carnac or anything, and what you actually said was "mxylptkz", and I somehow reached out and interdimensionally translated that into the word "dine".

You're freaking ENGLISH for crying out loud! Your people INVENTED the language! You'd think that as one of those countrymen, you could actually speak it!

But I guess you just need to hone your editing skills JUST a little more.

[ Crowd pop. ]

Beast: Once again, Adam, your sarcasm detector is turned off. But, I guess, if it makes you happy...

[ Beast lowers the mic and climbs out of the ring and hops to the arena floor. He heads over to the guardrail, where a man and his wife and four young children are gathered. The fans in the area go nuts as he approaches. ]

Beast: Good evening, folks. You all set to enjoy the show?

[ The fans say YES enthusiastically. ]

Beast: Awesome. Look, does Adam Benjamin bore you?

Wife: He sure does! Everytime he talks I have to fight from falling asleep!

Beast: Alright, that's great. Because Adam wanted me to explain to you why I've made racist comments towards other countries.

Father: Beast, you wouldn't do that.

Beast: You're absolutely right, sir. I am supposed to be a role model, a man that your children can look up to.

Father: But even if you did, we know that you're just doing it to get a rise out of your opponent.

Beast: Really?

Father: Yes. Either that, or for a joke.

Beast: Ahh, yes! So you understand what the word sarcasm means then!! You know what that means? That makes you and your family, a regular, average American family, smarter than Adam Benjamin! He's British, you know!

Father: Yes, we know.

Beast: And he's supposed to be all cultured and intelligent and "all that rot".

Son: Well, he obviously isn't!

[ Crowd pop. ]

Beast: Oh yeah, one more thing. Adam wanted me to explain to you why I was wearing a dress. You see -

Daughter: Oh, we know, Beast. That bad man Dan Ryan put you up to it. We know you didn't want to wear the dress.

Beast: You're such a sweetheart!

Other Son: Yeah, Beast! We know you're not a queer!

[ Crowd cheers and laughs. ]

Beast: You guys are amazing! Even your children are smarter than Benjamin is! Tell you what folks, after the show, you come and see that security guard right over there, and make sure he lets you in to come see me in my dressing room, alright?

[ Everyone cheers. ]

Beast: And if you're nice, I'll even let you wear my title, since we all know I'm going to beat Adam and Boogie for it right here tonight!

[ Thunderous crowd pop! Beast rolls back into the ring. ]

Beast: One last question for you all. When you want an object - sometimes your remote control so you can turn on EPW on your TV - and it's just a little further away than you think, sometimes you have to r-

Crowd: REACH!

Beast: That's it, Benji. Try and reach out - grasp at that last big straw. Try and find anything you can to try and twist around in your favor. You just know that I'm walking out of Wrestleverse STILL the EPW World Heavyweight Champion, and there isn't a thing on God's Green Earth that is going to stop me.

At least you've done one thing right this week, Adam. You did a marvelous job of recapping everything I've said to you all week long. Now, after Wrestleverse, after I drop you on your head again, you can take that job at ESPN you've always wanted doing nightly highlights. You'd fit perfectly. Hey, you could even have your own Plays of the Week segment, and you can end off with #1 being me hitting you with the Absolution 2K4, and pinning you for the 1, 2, 3.

You want me to tell the fans something about you that they don't know?

Umm.. you don't know what a nickname is? No, they already know that, especially after listening to you call yourself Yours Truly and the New Age Technician every time you open your mouth, so that can't be it. It wouldn't make you a hippocrite at all to mock me using my own catchphrase, even though you have TWO of them.

Oh, I know! You have bad teeth! Another stereotypical British thing.... but wait a minute... that sh*t eating grin you flashed at the end of your last promo, you showed some nice chompers. No doubt the result of years of dental surgery.

Oh hell, who am I kidding. I can't do it.

You're just so simple, Adam, it's like reading an open book.

[ Beast gets a little more of a serious look on his face. ]

Beast: And tonight, right here in this very ring, I'm going to prove it. Like a book, this is going to be an open and shut match. I'm going to read you like a textbook Adam, and throw every move in your little arsenal right back into your scrunchy British face. And then, when the time is right, it's going to be WHAM BAM Thank you ADAM - BOOM! Absolution 2K4, and you're going to be down for the count.

The 1, 2, 3.

And I will have proven yet again, that I AM the -

Crowd: ALPHA MALE!!

Beast: - of EPW... and Adam...

You're just on the low end of the food chain, there to be eaten up by the bigger Beasts. I hope you had fun this close to the top, Adam, because tonight, at Wrestleverse, you're getting tossed over the edge of the mountain, and this...

[ Beast unstraps the EPW World Heavyweight Title and holds it by the buckle vertically in front of him. ]

Beast: ... is still going to be MINE!

[ Beast tosses the mic to a ring crew member as Nickelback's "Figure You Out" blasts over the PA, and the crowd cheers wildly. Beast salutes the fans and climbs out of the ring and heads back up the ramp. ]

 

[Mad Dog]

Take my picture off the milk cartons...

(FADE IN to Boogie Smallz standing in front an EPW Wrestleverse backdrop. )

BOOGIE SMALLZ: Errybody’s been speculatin’, comin’ to conclusions, and overall jus’ talkin’ ish about Boogeezey. I got fools battlin’ in other matches badmouthin’ me, makin’ me a topic of discussion.

I got sum punkass Brit all in my grille writin’ me notes. (Pauses) Hangin’ posters on a golf course, like I’m gonna see tha ish. Jus’ ‘cuz Tiger tears it up in tha game of golf…don’t mean Boogie Smallz be teein’ off tha green. (Pauses.) I know y’all know tha ONLY green I be kcufin’ wit…that one hitta’ quitta’…tha boobonic…supersonic, phat sack of chronic.

(Boogie pulls a sack out of his pocket and reveals it to the camera.)

Seems to me like Benji is tryin’ a lil too hard to get my attention.

I seen him in tha hood, tryin’ to find out where I come from. (Shakes his head.) Pure genius, kid. I mean what better way to get tha advantage than to go to tha hood and see what its like. (Shakes his head again.) Most fools watch video tape, scout they opponent, find tendencies and ish. But nah…bypass tha important ish and go to tha ghetto. Makes sense to me. Tha only time I see folks like you in tha hood…is if they buyin’ rocks.

Which sort of explains a whole lot.

Your whole thought process has been a lil’ crackheadish. Unfortunately for you, there is no Free Crack Giveaway at Wrestleverse, Tyrone. And there won’t be no interventions, unless maybe it’s like tha one Christopher got on tha Sopranos. All you got to look forward to…is pain. (Grits his teeth.) You talked a lot of ish, Benji, and now you gotta back up ERRY WORD YOU SAID!

You wanna slap me around like a b*tch? (Lets out a slight laugh.) Go for it…but best believe I FIGHT BACK! And I got a feelin’ when we meet in tha ring face to face, you won’t be talkin’ none of that ish anymore! You think I’m just sum chump? Some mofo that got lucky and was in tha right place at tha right time? (Shakes his head.) Nah man, I’ve been in tha trenches, dawg, for almost 10 years. I’ve had to watch pretender after pretender walk into erry company I’ve worked for and get pushed to tha moon by management. All tha while, I sat there and watched them blowup…become big stars, World champions even. And then not even a year later…they fall off tha face of tha Earth. Burned out. No longer wantin’ tha spotlight they thought they craved so much.

I can sit herre and name a long list of folks that ain’t even in tha game no more, that just simply couldn’t hack it.

Mofos like your boy, tha man you seem to kiss tha ass of quite often, erryone’s damn hero…John Miller.

Ya know, I never really respected tha man. Tha way he went about thangs in GXW really pissed me off. If ya know tha story about me and him…then you know that I called that bastard out erry chance I got. And errytime…he f*ckin’ ignored me. He acted as if I didn’t exist. Until one day, I was no longer gonna be denied. I got his attention and he had NO CHOICE but to put up or shut up.

Long story short, when he put up…he shut up. And he up and left tha biznuss. Was it becuz of tha shame he had from losin’ to me? Talkin’ a gang of ish and not backin’ up one word of it? (Puffs his blunt.) Alright, maybe I’m bein’ too rough on tha guy, becuz I did walk out of that match hurtin’…but what happened to him?

It was his pride. He thought he was gonna walk in there and handle his biz…but too damn bad for him…it didn’t happen.

Benjamin, you’ll soon find out what that is all about when you come to a similar crossroads in your career. No you ain’t a champion, but when the embarrassment of losin’ to me after you talked ALL THAT SH*T…(Pats his chest, while shaking his head.) that’s pride.

Sum peeps gotta be taught a lesson. You wanna try and bury me by talkin’ crap? Cool. But after this match…you’ll be tha one bein’ buried. But not with a bunch of sh*t-talkin’, nah. It’ll be cemetery-style…b *tch!

(Boogie reaches in his other pocket and pulls out a blunt. He sparks it up and blows the smoke into the wind.)

Beast, your opinion of me honestly doesn’t impact me one bit. It doesn’t change how I fight…it doesn’t change how I’m gonna prepare. You wanted to be “colored disappointed” but at Wrestleverse you’ll be sportin’ a new tone…it’ll be one that’s a lil more black and blue!

But hey, I realize that’s how you gotta be. You gotta ACT like you’re all big and bad when you’re tha champ. ACT hard and try to convince me that you’re tha (Rolls his eyes.) “Alpha Male.” (Boogie does the masturbating hand motion.) You ain’t ish, son. Stop ACTIN’ dawg, because no matter how hard ya try…ya won’t ever be on my level.

You beat errybody herre and I’m supposed to think it’s impressive? I look around herre and I don’t see nobody herre worth a f*ck to go braggin’ about beatin’!

Christian Sands? That’s a joke.

See, Crissey and I go WAY BACK. I’m sure you don’t know this, but Sands cut his teeth in this business against me... right before I kicked 'em down his throat wit' my Tims! Theze very Tims I gots on right now. (Laughs) Call 'em my throwbacks.

Sandy knows I got his number, that’s why he ain’t said a damn thang about me since I stepped foot herre.

I made tha man snap.

I mean, wouldn’t you do tha same thing if you did errythang in your power to beat someone and after THREE TIMES he still couldn’t get tha job done? Tha first time, it hurt his pride. Tha second time, it hurt his confidence. Then tha third time, I got in his head and ain’t heard a peep from him since. I basically own him, anything he tries to do, he can’t because he’s got tha ghost of our past matches hauntin’ him…day in and day out. He’s a tough mofo, no doubt...he’s come a long way. But he, much like erryone herre, ain’t got what it takes…to get tha best of me.

(Puffs his blunt and mean mugs the camera.)

Ya know, Beast. You’re so smart with your lil kindergarten name callin’. “Booger”? Thanks for lettin’ me hearr someone call me that for tha hundredth time in my career.

So I guess I can return tha favor? I’ll call you Yeast.

As in infection. As in what a lil b*tch that wears a dress gets.

But don’t worry, ain’t nothin’ a lil’ hygiene can’t fix up. A lil dab of Momastat or whatever that is your moms be usin’.

And I’m fittin’ to clean tha ring of yo’ stankin’ ass at Wrestleverse!

(Puffs his blunt.)

Now I’m sure you would like to think that people will forget all about yo’ lil incident. But I feel it is my duty to remind erryone…once again…that tha big bad World champion wore a mafuggin’ dress to tha ring and actually fought in it.

Which got me to thinkin’ about how I would react if forced into a similiar situation. Obviously we know that Dan Ryan enjoys watchin’ men in dresses. (Shakes his head.) Dan, I honestly thought better of you. But I digress.

If he came to me and tried to pull some ish like that, first of all…he KNOWS I wouldn’t go for it. I guess tha title would be vacated. I guess I would be out of a job. Because I will BE DAMNED if someone forces me to wear a dress! I’M A MAN! I ain’t no b*tch. Ain’t nobody gonna degrade me and put me in women’s clothes…and then live to tell about it. A whole arena of mofos would be shot tha f*ck up and I would probably have to commit suicide. (Puffs his blunt.) A lil over the edge? No doubt, but that’s how strong I feel about it.

So maybe that tells me sumthin’ about you. Maybe you didn’t make such a fuss over it because…I dunno...it's not that you didn't MIND it....you LIKED it! Admit it! Maybe deep inside you've got sum sick twisted fetish for ladies clothin'. Hey, just an observation. I know I ain’t tha only one thinkin’ it either.

(Boogie hotboxes his blunt and starts coughing out smoke. His eyes are glazed over and bloodshot. He grabs a bottle of water and chugs it, tossing it to the side.)

But I guess all tha ish talkin’ doesn’t matter anymore. All tha blahzay blahzay is over and done wit’, ‘cuz we got this show comin’ up right around tha corna’. I realized and have come to tha conclusion that most of tha peeps herre have been served up a bunch of Haterade. (Shakes his head.) I cant even say that ish. Another phrase of mine gobbled up by tha Man. Swallowed by tha white youth of America…like a money shot in Vanessa Del Rio’s mouth, and ruined for me to never be able to use it to its fullest po’tenshel.

(Shakes his head in disgust and puffs his blunt.)

Hate on me all ya want, but realize that you are lookin’ at tha next EPW World champion, tha REAL World champion…Boogie mafuggin’ Smallz!

(Boogie mean mugs the camera and grits his teeth in anger.)

BELIEVE DAT!

(FADE TO BLACK)

 

[JABolich]

(FADEIN)

SANDS: Peep peep, Boogie.

(FADEOUT)