We open to a shot looking down on hundreds of people at Times Square. Thousands of people scream as we hear a voice take over.
Voice: How about that? Those people are going crazy down there.
Possibly because they know who my next guest is.
The camera then zooms out to show Carson Daly standing in front of a television with TRL on the screen. The TRL is then smashed by a fast-charging EPW logo.
CD: That’s right! Please give a Total Request Live welcome to the man who is setting Empire Pro Wrestling on fire… “Sensational” Steven Shane!
The people inside the studio go wild as The Sensational One makes his way in.
CD: Steven Shane! How’s everything goin, man?
Shane: Oh! It’s great, Carson! Thanks for having me.
CD: I think it’s more of a pleasure for us, Steve. Check out the window.
Shane leans to the window. The crowd sees him and goes absolutely wild. Signs reading “Marry Me Shane” and “Call Me Shane” with a blurred out phone number underneath. Shane turns back around and to speak with Carson.
Shane: They do seem rather pleased, don’t they?
CD: Well Steve, it’s very evident as to why they are excited. I mean, you’ve come into Empire Pro Wrestling and just set the place ablaze. With your stunning entrance to your win in the main event the next week, and then your fabulous fight with JA last week. You’re certainly something to be touted for the owner of EPW, Dan Ryan.
Shane: I’ve got to admit Carson; EPW has really been an awakening for me. And to be placed in the main event for two straight weeks during my debut was a phenomenal experience for me. Something that I’ve never got to experience.
CD: Right. But this week, you sort of take a step back as you let the EPW World Champion defend her title.
Shane: She’s the champ for a reason, Carson. She deserves to be the one headlining a Pay-Per-View like Black Dawn.
CD: Nice sportsmanship. Like to see that kind of stuff. But about your match at Black Dawn, you’re going to be facing Ken Cloverleaf. You guys have quite the storied history. Is that correct?
Shane: Yeah, you could say that.
CD: Well, we’ll get to that in a minute, but first, we’re going to let you introduce the next video on our countdown.
Shane: Coming in at number three today, they’re not the Backstreet Boys, they’re not N Sync, and they’re not 98 Degrees. But they’re just like them, and somehow, they make more money that I do…
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We fade into the once again busy Times Square. We find that our camera has focused on the very handsome young man walking down the sidewalk wearing a “Putting You to Sleep” t-shirt. The camera draws closer and our focus begins to speak.
Shane: Ken Cloverleaf…
Some might call you the most delusional man in all of sports and entertainment.
Did you hold the World Heavyweight Title almost as long as anyone else in that company down the street? Yes sir, you did. I, nor anyone, can take that away from you.
But at the exact same time, did I not hold the very next title on the chain for longer than anyone in said company? I believe that would be true as well.
So while you continue to rant and rave about how each and every loss that Sensationally Perfect endured was Steven Shane’s fault, why don’t we just evaluate the transpirings.
Sensationally Perfect’s first loss was in a handicap match against John Walker. YOU, Kenny, were the one who stood on the apron with your thumb up your ass while Johnny Walker pulled one of the best moves he’s ever done out of his own ass, leaving me prone in a match that we should have easily won!
Yet, your superstardom would not allow you to think about yourself AND the match at the same time. You were too busy thinking about your little fluff jobs from the roadies instead of thinking about how we should’ve killed with the numbers advantage.
But hold on just a second, Kenny. Because I’m not done…
This “other” pinfall you’re talking about…
It just so happened to be to the current and former EPW World Champions…BY MYSELF!
You see Kenny, you were too busy getting taken out by a simple belly to back suplex to even muster a saving attempt to help me. Naturally, I probably could have kicked out on my own, but…OH YEAH! I was getting hit by a freakin Super Crowning Glory from the current and former EPW World Champions! Did I mention that already?
So before we go laying down blames on people simply because of their position on the mat when the bell rang, maybe we should look at those who were OUT of position seconds before the bell rang.
You see Kenny; your title reign was impressive. I must give you that.
But the only reason that that belt stayed around your waist for so long was because your cronies kept interjecting their way into your matches to ensure that the belt didn’t go anywhere.
My concurrent title reign? It happened for as long as it did because I made it happen.
I didn’t have three other guys with their heads up my ass to save me from each and every person on that roster. We both took on the best they had to offer, and sat them down, week after week.
But here in E-P-Dub, it’s a different story, Kenny.
There are no Social Clubs. There are no clowns or Richie Rich’s to hire lawyers to ensure that the title stays around your waist.
It’s just you and me.
At Black Dawn Kenny, we finally get the match that we deserve.
We’re not jerking the curtain for cluster****ed builds. We’re not getting set up for some lame-ass ambush by the boss’s knob-slobbers.
It’s just Ken Cloverleaf versus “Sensational” Steven Shane, care of The Ego Buster at the biggest venue of them all.
MSG will be rocking all night long. But come the time that “The Wind Below” hits, those people are going to be saying “Damn” I can’t wait for this one. It’s going to be a classic.
And Kenny, that’s just what I plan on making this match.
A very, very SENSATIONAL classic.
Shane gives a smile as he turns the corner into a coffee shop and the camera fades out.
