When the manager's away, BLITZ will play
[FADE IN. A darkened room, with the song “Red Rain” by Peter Gabriel playing in the background. A single spotlight illuminates two rather cheap leather belts, each adored with a cheap metal nameplate, the names illegible. Suddenly, after a few seconds, “Red Rain” fades out, as “Otherworld” fades in, and the lights burst in. The camera has to pan back quickly to capture the enormity of belts on display, the number of trophies on display, the number of photos, cheap quality, of Max and Jecht, arms raised in victory, with their opponents broken wrecks on the mat. Standing amongst the titles, the trophies, the memorabilia, are Max and Jecht, dressed casually, Max in denim, Jecht in leathers]
Max: Herr Golem, ich habe was du hast sagen gehort. And, my Amerikanishce freund, you see before you the success of Blitz. These title belts, these trophies; they are from our success in the independents. Yes, maybe not the high and mighty places you delve, maybe not the dark depths you come from, but certainly experience in championship matches none the less. But, since Herr Cruise wished to speak before you did, allow me to address his points, to be as polite as my upbringing in Deutschland meant me to be.
Herr Cruise, you must have been listening to either your former opponent, Buff Bellows, or that foolish, nicht…idiotic commentator Mike Neely. Blitz has been around the independents longer than this Computerspielen called ‘Final Fantasy Ten’ has been in existence. Blitz has used the name, shortened from the German word Blitzen. Verstanden? Blitzen is lightning. The perfect tandem of power and speed in nature. Much like my partner Jecht and I. Or maybe you know more about our history than we do, hm? How foolish of you, Kinder. Herr Cruise, how can Mann expect to defeat us if you do not do your research, if you do not know your opponents inside out before the match, before your latest attempt at winning gold? As for interview… who was interviewing whom? Our manager, Herr Johnson, started talking last time. Our manager. Before that, he did indeed do an interview to help increase sales of tickets, to help keep this company afloat in his own small way. I doubt people turned on their… [Jecht interrupts as Max struggles with his English a little]
Jecht: TV
Max: Ja, their ‘TV’, to watch you. You have self-pity and wallow enough in it to make a pig envious, Herr Cruise. And unless you find yourself a backbone, a will, and actually take time and effort to prepare, it is you who will be facing a Reality check that you just won’t like.
Now, to return to you, Herr Golem. You, I see, are as deluded as Herr Cruise, and as others before you. Let me ask you this, Herr Golem; did you get deine Mutter to write that speech for you? I would have thought that someone with the experience you claim would have not made the same error as Herr Cruise and failed to do your research. But, since none seem to listen, or even attempt it seems to dig out some history, here is proof of Blitz. Of our success. These titles, over forty of them, are our success. We don’t name them because they are not important to the poor excuses for opponents we face here. Three of the teams we faced at Black Dawn have left the company, unable to take the pressure. I can see you, humiliated, following their path.
You speak of being dubbed freaks. I do not see you thus. I see you as opponents. Herr Johnson sees you thus. Only a fool would dub a man a freak; keiner Mann is a freak. But, a fairy tale ending to this situation would be you two, winning the titles. However, I, the only Deutschlander in this match, do not believe in fairy tales. The truth shall come at Unleashed, when die Wille zu machen, and those titles, are joining this collection.
[At this point, Jecht steps forwards, motioning to Max to still his tongue]
Jecht: Golem, X-Ecutioner, Melton, Cruise. The four of you can either turn up to the match and face defeat and utter humiliation, or you cannot turn up, and be branded cowards. That is the type of thing your average opponent would say. We, however, are no ordinary, average opponents. WE ARE FAR MORE THAN AVERAGE. It has been said to be the best you have to beat the best. So, if any of you four wishes to prove your team the best, you’re looking at the men to beat. But you should remember that experience as a team rests with us, not you. I see you four, and I see four Northumberland’s. Four Henry Bolingbrook’s. To get to the top, you need to rely on the other half of your tandem, men you do not know and trust as surely as Max and I know and trust each other. Our success is shared; whereas I know you four will each individually claim the crown for yourselves. THAT is how I know Max and I will win. We know each other too well, and we complement each other’s style. You four… well, QED.
Max: Vier kinder… nur vier kinder, ja Jecht?
Jecht: Naturlich Max. Naturally.
Max: Nichts natural about it. Four grown men, two of whom we’ve now heard from, should not act like das kinder.
Jecht: That’s why we’re so confident. We know the hard work we’ve put in. If any of them think we’re going to be walking out of Unleashed without those belts around our waists, if any single one of them thinks that we’re going to be the perpetual almosts in this company, then they have another thing coming. WE ARE NOT THAT EASY TO BEAT. Golem, I am going to enjoy tearing you limb from limb like so many others in the past. From punks to professionals, from armed thugs to total maniacs, no one has managed to keep themselves from harm. And Cruise, heed Max’s words. Read a little, watch tapes, because you have already shown yourself unprepared. And being unprepared against a team as dominating as we are will cost you and you Northumberland.
Max: Empire Pro, prepare to be blitzed.
[Max and Jecht stand there smiling sinisterly as the lights dim. FADE OUT]
