EastPrez
Pressure Chief
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2000
- Messages
- 392
- Points
- 0
(FADEIN: To the back hallways at the WWF's NO WAY OUT PPV, where a bunch of WWF workers (You know who they are, we won't put them over in this promo) mill around in the background. The camera pans over to 'Hot Property' EDDIE MAYFIELD, wearing a black 'F451' tee and jeans, and backstage guest lammies around his neck. MAYFIELD looks at a monitor, a Camel behind his ear, hand deep in a bag of Planters nuts.)
MAYFIELD: (Talking with his mouth full) "Yanno, Don't ever let it be said that Hot Property doesn't know what he's doing. Eddie Mayfield, the man they SHOULDA cast to play Spider-Man in the movie, Eddie Mayfield, your girlfriend, AND her mommas favorite wrestler. That's right. You know who I'm talking about - THAT DOOD. (Smirks) Yasee, one of my buddies invited me backstage to watch this thing, and it ain't that bad, to be honest. They're a little secretive, so I had to have my man here with the camera (Camera moves up and down) take those logo labels off the side of the thing so we could get in here without getting the tape snatched. I've seen better, but hey, Vince has the bigger paychecks. What can ya do. I can reduce my moveset to 5 moves of doom and a finisher, but that's not what I'm about. If I wanna, Idunno, bust out a Running Rising Wizard Crush on TV, I'm not gonna draw furrowed brows from Merritt or whoever signs my checks, because I'm going against 'easy to digest for the sheep' protocol. I do what I want, WHEN I want. And I say that because I think it's high time that the PEE-ARE-OHs get graced with a little gold around CSWA.
See, the match hasn't even been finalized, and I hear that Simply Shadows have tucked their pigtails between their legs and ran off for higher shires, because THEY KNOW... OH, THEY KNOW... They know that the Professionals - the doods that SPIKE the ratings everytime we come on TV, have their number. They know that myself and the Cocky One will be walking out of that hellhole San Diego with those straps around our waists, and they'll be back in Britain or wherever making snuff films, just like they were before someone in CSWA said they could wear the Unified belts becuase 'there's nobody else to wear them'.
I'm a patient man. I don't throw tantrums when I don't get my way - I can bide my time. But one thing I CANNOT do - is stand by and watch innocents suffer. What innocents? Those poor CSWA fans that have to sit through Simply Sloppy tagteam matches day in and day out. Check the stats. The FANS wanna see Eddie Mayfield with the gold. They wanna see Craig Miles with the gold. It's been proven in focus groups around the country, and I'll be the last one to dissappoint YOU - the public. (Smiles)
So CSWA fans, if YOU know what I know - stand up for what you believe in! Throw away those Simply Stunted tee shirts and rock the new F451 tee! toss those dated ballcaps and rock the Pro hat. Show bookerman that you will NOT be force-fed stale micspots and yawnfest title matches. Show them that you support the PEE-ARE-OH lifestyle. That YOU TOO, can be a winner like me and Craig.
Or not. Either way, Simply Stunning - when this fed decides to let the world know the card lineup for PRIMETIME, that's when you know your hourglass just got turned right-side-up, and the sand is slipping away. Because once that match is signed, you KNOW that it's ... heh, to quote some other dood, 'really, REALLY over'.
(FADEOUT as MAYFIELD turns to some bald guy with a goatee and a WHAT? tee shirt, and mechanical leg braces on his knees walking by)
MAYFIELD: "Hey buddy, you think you can grab me some more beernuts? Thanks a lot."
MAYFIELD: (Talking with his mouth full) "Yanno, Don't ever let it be said that Hot Property doesn't know what he's doing. Eddie Mayfield, the man they SHOULDA cast to play Spider-Man in the movie, Eddie Mayfield, your girlfriend, AND her mommas favorite wrestler. That's right. You know who I'm talking about - THAT DOOD. (Smirks) Yasee, one of my buddies invited me backstage to watch this thing, and it ain't that bad, to be honest. They're a little secretive, so I had to have my man here with the camera (Camera moves up and down) take those logo labels off the side of the thing so we could get in here without getting the tape snatched. I've seen better, but hey, Vince has the bigger paychecks. What can ya do. I can reduce my moveset to 5 moves of doom and a finisher, but that's not what I'm about. If I wanna, Idunno, bust out a Running Rising Wizard Crush on TV, I'm not gonna draw furrowed brows from Merritt or whoever signs my checks, because I'm going against 'easy to digest for the sheep' protocol. I do what I want, WHEN I want. And I say that because I think it's high time that the PEE-ARE-OHs get graced with a little gold around CSWA.
See, the match hasn't even been finalized, and I hear that Simply Shadows have tucked their pigtails between their legs and ran off for higher shires, because THEY KNOW... OH, THEY KNOW... They know that the Professionals - the doods that SPIKE the ratings everytime we come on TV, have their number. They know that myself and the Cocky One will be walking out of that hellhole San Diego with those straps around our waists, and they'll be back in Britain or wherever making snuff films, just like they were before someone in CSWA said they could wear the Unified belts becuase 'there's nobody else to wear them'.
I'm a patient man. I don't throw tantrums when I don't get my way - I can bide my time. But one thing I CANNOT do - is stand by and watch innocents suffer. What innocents? Those poor CSWA fans that have to sit through Simply Sloppy tagteam matches day in and day out. Check the stats. The FANS wanna see Eddie Mayfield with the gold. They wanna see Craig Miles with the gold. It's been proven in focus groups around the country, and I'll be the last one to dissappoint YOU - the public. (Smiles)
So CSWA fans, if YOU know what I know - stand up for what you believe in! Throw away those Simply Stunted tee shirts and rock the new F451 tee! toss those dated ballcaps and rock the Pro hat. Show bookerman that you will NOT be force-fed stale micspots and yawnfest title matches. Show them that you support the PEE-ARE-OH lifestyle. That YOU TOO, can be a winner like me and Craig.
Or not. Either way, Simply Stunning - when this fed decides to let the world know the card lineup for PRIMETIME, that's when you know your hourglass just got turned right-side-up, and the sand is slipping away. Because once that match is signed, you KNOW that it's ... heh, to quote some other dood, 'really, REALLY over'.
(FADEOUT as MAYFIELD turns to some bald guy with a goatee and a WHAT? tee shirt, and mechanical leg braces on his knees walking by)
MAYFIELD: "Hey buddy, you think you can grab me some more beernuts? Thanks a lot."