BRAWLAPALOOZA: HERSHEY

[fugginVOSS]

[FADE IN: on TEDDY ALEXANDER standing before a New Frontier Revolution Star backdrop, snarling at the camera.]

TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Last time you all saw me on Brawl I got beat by the TV champion, Jack Bryant. We battled for what seemed like forever and I gave him the greatest challenge he’s ever had for his belt.”

[ALEXANDER stares off into the distance, that snarl becoming more vicious as he remembers. He snatches his gaze back to the camera.]

TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Truth is... I shoulda walked away with that belt but it seemed ol’ Birmingham Stallion’s shadow casts longer over my career. That don’t mean I can stand idly by and let that shadow cast over me any longer than it should.

“Jack... I’ll be comin’ after you for that belt again. I’ll be comin’ after you for my pride’s sakes. Just coz I gave you the greatest contest you’ve had since you got into this company doesn’t mean you don’t have somethin’ comin’ to ya nobody else seems to be able to provide.

“And that’s the beatin’ of your life. A beatin’ you’ll only get at the hands of the Spinal Smash Monger.”

[Thumbs himself in the chest.]

TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“ME!”

[Smirks to himself.]

TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Seemingly, it appears I’ve been thrown in some clusterfuck monstrosity of a tag grand prix where I dunno who I’m facin’ but I know the man who’ll be dragged along by my coattails.

“Phil Atken.

“Phil. I sure as shit hope you are concentratin’ on what we’ve got goin’ on in Hershey. I hope you know not to take what we gotta do second to your World Heavyweight Championship match against Castor V. Strife.

“Coz, Phil, if you let me down I’ll make my way into that Main Event and I’ll smash your tiny spinal columns to pieces with the Ragekill Driver and all you’ll see is stars for the rest’f your days. I promise you, man, I won’t take that shit lyin’ down if you leave me hangin’ high and dry in this thing.

“I take me very seriously.”

[ALEXANDER points down the barrel of the camera, like he were pointing out ATKEN himself.]

TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“And I expect you to do so, too.

“So we dunno who we’re facin’ and where we’re headed but one things for sure, there’ll be a pile of bodies left at the end. Harmen. Cruise. Nova. Black. Legion. Whoever. Whenver. Wherever. I’ll take them all down and if you’re not on the same page I’ll rip you out of the book, too.”

[TEDDY snickers sadistically.]

TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“There’s no man heading into this contest that I fear. There’s no man heading into these matches that puts me on the back foot. I’m on the front foot seven days a week, three hundred and sixty-five days of the year.

“Hershey is going to witness what happens when Teddy Alexander’s pride takes a lickin’. They’re gonna see that somebody is gonna pay for me losin’ to Jack Bryant. Missin’ my chance to become the Television Champion.

“I don’t care who. I don’t care how. All I know if whether you’re on board or not, Phil, I’ll smash these spastics so far into oblivion the NFW universe will see me as the black hole of this promotion.

“Let the bodies hit the floor.”

[FADE TO BLACK!]

 

[Biron]

Re: WORKIN' OUT THA KINKS

(CUT TO: JB, same get-up, Pabst Blue Ribbon in-hand.)

JB: "Yanno, Cammy, all that time you spent sittin' in Bobby Jack's bedroom, holdin' hands an' talkin' bout God, Ah figured you'd be on tha' Big Man Upstairs' good side, but, boy, you got as much sense as God gave a goose. If yer blessed, you an' me won't cross paths at BRAWLAPALOOZA. It'll save you a whole helluva lot a' embarassment an' pain. If we do, Ah reckon Ah'll put you closer ta' tha' Good Lord than you've ever been. See, tha' fact a' tha' matter is that yer n' over yer head. Yer nothin', but Meals on Wheels fer ol' Jack Bryant. an' please, b'fore you start braggin' 'bout yer Ultratitle success, realize that tha' list a men you beat reads like a Special Olympics lineup an' nobody's 'mpressed. 'specially since you've been gettin' yer (bleep!) kicked n' tha' Frontier fer how many years now? Run along now b'fore Ah make it a point ta' take tha' foot outta' yer mouth an' bludgeon you with tha' sum(bleep!), bub."

(FTB)

 

[LQJT86C]

Re: WORKIN' OUT THA KINKS

(FADEIN: CASTOR STRIFE spinning a laurel wreath crown around his fingers, finally letting it drop to the ground with an audible clang. He sits up in his director's chair, and addresses the camera)

CASTOR: "You think I'm going to do all the work, Atken? No... (shakes head) ...I'm going to sit back, let you come and show me how bad you want the title, and when you do make that one mistake, giving me the opening I need..."

(Drags finger across throat, widens eyes and makes a guttural sound)

"Off with your head. On to the next."

"But in the event I do decide to come at you guns blazing, what makes you think you can survive? You, me, and the world knows that I can survive. Can YOU?"

"Is it in your DNA to take the best a champion has to offer, and pull a smile across your face while the blood drains out of his? You could play it in your head a thousand times, but to do it in real time, well..."

(Sits back, crosses leg, and pulls out a cigar from his pocket. He cuts the end off, lights it, and takes his first puff)

"It's like Dr. Frank Furter once said..."

(Blows smoke)

"Don't dream it. Be it."

"Or you will eat a dick on national television."

"Now while I have the camera's attention, I would like to send my regards to JJ Deville. Any time you want to step forth and beat me when it counts, JJ, I've got the minute. (shrugs) But if you're content to coast off of a Hail Mary exhibition win the rest of your career, that's fine too. Nobody can dispute that you went from relative ignominy in CSWA, being carried by Troy Windham, winning mid-tier belts and getting tag pins here and there, to INFAMY in NFW...being carried by Troy Windham, winning mid-tier belts and getting tag pins here and there, so...(looks confused; shakes head and regains focus) ...so if you PREFER to fly around like Dick Dastardly, twirling your curly little mustache while you hone the craft of putting grown men at major inconvenience, then you earned that right."

"You're the guy who extinguishes the fire at tribal council, I understand..."

"But if you think that makes you more important than me, you're sadly, sadly mistaken. So you called Dan Ryan a child molester - for all I know, he is. So you...made Impulse say his name was Toby, then sent his girlfriend a Planned Parenthood brochure. You made Fiona Love wear a bikini - OOOOH BABY! - I saw the old girl's tits a decade ago, I could have drawn you a sketch if you were that curious."

"And as you sit there, probably plotting to bring a Chik-Fil-A franchise to the east village where Deacon will be forced to work the midnight shift using a bogus social security number..."

(Blows a circle of smoke into the air, followed by a cloud)

"You should know that none of these things makes you the undisputed champion of the world. Me and my council, we don't meet during daylight hours. I run a different kind of ship - I'm a different type of guy. All the power you think you have pales in comparison to what I could muster with a mind bent in your direction."

"I won't, though. Won't even retaliate for the sponsorship money you cost me during the Dan Ryan debacle. No - I won't harm a hair on your head, because I want you to ask me. Want you to step forward, and demand a shot at the gold."

"I want you to WANT TO beat me when it counts, and become the most important man in wrestling for real this time."

"Come on JJ, somewhere in that mind is the knowledge that an exhibition win over me isn't really good enough."

(FADEOUT)

 

[GreggG]

Re: WORKIN' OUT THA KINKS

(CUT TO: JJ DeVille, chair, smirk, etc.)

JJ: (Sighs) "First, I'd like to make an apology for not quite addressing everyone in this competition. I've been busy. With what, you ask? Well, first, cementing my rocketing status as the biggest heel in this sport's HISTORY. And secondly, I had to go to the hospital because I thought I may be suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning. It turns out that I was just overdosing on Cameron Cruise promos. Cammy, please, do yourself a favor -- let the big boys speak, or do as you always do and beg one of the big boys to tell you what to say."

(JJ clears his throat.)

JJ: "Now, I've stayed -- so far -- away from the latest in the Carlton Family Quagmire. I've got no horse in that race, although, yes, I'd like to have something in Shaniqua, if you catch my meaning, which you probably don't since you're watching NFW. But I got a few stakes in this. First, Bandit, I know you think you were hot sh*t for cutting out from the Clan when you did. But let's face facts -- you're nothing more than a freeloading parasite who has a motorcycle because of better men. You're the worst bodyguard since that movie. The Clan owes you more than just a few receipts for stealing money from us for delivering about one chokeslam during your tenure with us. You get in the way of The Playboy Club or the illustrious tag team of The Mighty Impala and Z.!, and we're collecting. Now, as far as the other team, that bald no-name and Jack Bryant? Jack, didn't we already do this enough? Didn't I already have to make you look like the idiot you are enough? I know.... (JJ's lips quiver) I know that I supposedly begged for your mercy but the fact is that you apologized to me for your animal-like behavior after the match. I LET you do it in private... but you apologized, and we let bygones be bygones. Don't make me humiliate you again."

(JJ then stares down and takes a big gulp.)

JJ: "And that brings us lastly to Dark Storm. Akitatsunami and Mike Randalls. The Devastating One. The Wolf. Tsunami, don't thing I don't remember WHAT you did to my eye. You sprayed mist in my face. And not the traditional green mist. But the infamous BLACK mist. What was the result of that? I made everyone get on planes and fly all over the country to talk about what they knew about your devious plot. But I haven't gotten a chance to do unto you..."

(JJ stares down, his fists clenched, and then he takes another big gulp.)

JJ: "Randalls, I know you think that you're going to end Troy Windham's career in a few months. And while I wish he was here to speak for himself..." (JJ's face clinches) "Let me ASSURE you that you will not be doing that. I know I've 'hidden' behind paperwork and that I once-again supposedly fled when The Playboy Club and Dark Storm squared off for the first time. Well, that little piece of business got made public. I KNOW what I have to do, Randalls. I've taken the power. I've taken the money. But everyone keeps on disresepcting little ole' JJ DeVille. That's fine. I kind of LIKE it like that. But, Wolfowitz, did you ever consider that... that I might be just at least a little bit good at this thing? F*ck it, I'm more over than you've ever been in this dump. My power plays are well known. But who else in this promotion can say they pinned Castor Stryfe? Nope. NO ONE. And I know pretty much everyone can beat the hell out of Impulse, but I did that, too. Those guys talked big and they talked tough and they LOST. I've got to step up... and I'm going to do just that." (JJ stares at the camera.) "I'm not afraid to get in that ring with you. I'm not afraid of seeing what you can dish out. I'm not afraid of one thing about you. I'm not that kid in the ill-fitting jorts, Randalls. I am this industry's MASTER." (JJ smirks.) "Maybe we won't even GET to Troy versus Randalls, career versus career. Because, Randalls... have you even begun to consider what's going to happen when I pin your ass? You're going to tuck tail and hide, just like Dan Ryan. You're going to put in your papers and walk away from this industry knowing that you were nowhere near Troy's level... and nowhere near MINE." (JJ takes a few reassuring breaths. His hands trembling. He then gets up out of the chair and quickly paces. The camera follows and shows he's headed to the bathroom.)

 

[Nova]

The Next Big Thing

(FADEIN: A large bus/camper is parked along the side of Highway 422 outside of Hershey, PA. The Risen Star, NOVA, sits in a plastic camping chair next to a small campfire. The SUPERFLY EXPRESS logo is painted across the side of the bus.)

NOVA: “‘Nothing of consequence,’ she says. Rayne, my dear, if someone needs to take an introspective look at their partners…” (Lighing a cigarette) “…it’s you. You’re the manager-equivalent for a guy who still looks for cheap pops from a stabbing incident that occurred in the ring while THIS thirty-three year-old superstar was in HIGH SCHOOL. And please…” (Raising his voice) “…raise your hand if you feel like you’ll look back on NFW Version 3 as the Era of Akita Hoshi? Anybody?”

NOVA: (Holding out his arms) “Yeah. You wanna talk about ‘intimidating’? In the two years I was away from this place, my name got dropped more times on the average show than half the active roster. ‘Oh, Nova would do this! Nova would love that! Remember when Nova rode a giant firework down to the ring that exploded with flames every time he farted?’

(The EAGLEstar hefts a bottle of bourbon from underneath his chair and takes a big gulp.)

NOVA: “The Frontier NEEDS me. It’s better off for just having me around. It’s healthier. I’m like medicine for it…” (Extending a hand like a plane) “…just walkin’ through the door. Just being present. That’s the power I have. That’s why when it came time to choose the SECOND overall inductee into the NFW Hall of Fame, they chose ME, even though I wasn’t even here for the first SIX YEARS of this company’s existence.”

(Grinning, taking a drag of his cigarette) “That, and Eddie REALLY wanted to piss off Dan Ryan.”

NOVA: “You wanna talk some ‘Know Thyself,’ Rayne? What version of YOU are you on? Now you’re chanting Mayan hymns and dancing in the desert. A few years ago you were giving handies to DC Stratton behind the dumpster before his dark match Brawl openers. I bet six months from now, you show up after another terrible and TOTALLY UNFORESEEABLE in-ring injury carting a seven-foot-tall African Giant named Nuonga by a nose-chain, dressed in gold hoops, a grass skirt, and some Mystic Tan, proclaiming yourself a Voodoo Sorceress.”

(Leaning into the camera) “Because that’s what chicks like you do. You latch on to guys like me. You re-shape and re-mold yourself to stay in the picture by adjusting to whoever will take you. You’re REACTIVE.”

(NOVA reaches down to brown box at his feet and removes a shot glass from within. He holds it up to the firelight. ZOOMIN: The glass is adorned with a print of NOVA and HARMEN’s faces, delighted smiles spread over both, under the word “SUPERFLY” in rainbow bubble print…in front of a raging volcano! ZOOMOUT: NOVA sets the shot glass down on a nearby surface and pours himself a shot.)

NOVA: (Gulping it down) “I make my OWN destiny.” (Taking a drag of his cigarette) “You wanna be some Desert Warrior Princess.”

(He pours another shot and quickly takes it.)

NOVA: “Well, I know a thing or two about warriors…”

(The Warrior of the West pours and takes a third shot, afterward wiping bourbon out of his beard with the back of his hand.)

NOVA: “…and b*tch, you’re no WARRIOR. You can dye your hair whatever color you want…” (Pulling down his shirt to show the EAGLEstar brand over his heart) “…but this is no temporary tattoo. And this…”

(Gesturing to the “SUPERFLY EXPRESS” logo painted along the side of the bus.)

NOVA: “…is no dalliance to whet the appetite of a competitor in his twilight years. Shall I share something with you, Rayne? Something about my feelings, something personal that can bring us closer together after I just insulted every fiber of your being?

“See, when you’ve accomplished something GREAT, something that elevates you to another level – like winning the ULTRATITLE Tournament, or the NFW World Heavyweight Championship – it becomes, like, a bit of a curse. I know you won’t know what I’m talking about from personal experience, but trust me. When you accomplish something like that, it sears in the collective consciousness of the fans. When I defeated Yori Yakamo, Jr. to capture the ULTRATITLE, and the entire roster, East and West, filed out to ringside to pay their respects, and the MOTHERSHIP came down and Eli Flair hoisted me onto his shoulders…the fans still come up to me when I’m walking to the arena entrance from my car, and talk to me about how they were THERE, and the way it made them feel to see all that...”

(Taking a drag) “And I love the NFW fans as much or more than anyone else here…but it’s tough to hear that for YEARS and YEARS after the fact. That was five years ago. And it defines you. The Greatness of the Moment defines you…and I haven’t been able to get away from it. But now? In August of 2012?

“For the first time in a LONG time…I was approaching the entrance to the arena in Jacksonville, Florida for Reloaded 12, and a fan walked up to me grinning from ear-to-ear, and he pointed to his t-shirt and shouted ‘SUPERFLY!’ And I could tell by his reaction that that’s how he recognized me. Not accolades of yesteryear. Now. THIS thing. This thing that's taking off. Harmen and I are building something POWERFUL. SUPERFLY EXPRESS is arriving…

“…full force…

“…maximum potency…

“…more alcohol by volume…

“…Sunday, July 22nd, Hershey Park Arena.”

(FADETOBLACK as NOVA stares into the fire, grinning.)

NOVA (V/O): “And for the love of God, Cameron, switch to decaf. You don’t have to sandwich every word that comes out of anyone’s mouth between two of your own. It’s a tag melee, not a telethon.”

 

[LQJT86C]

Re: The Next Big Thing

(FADEIN: PETER WINDHAM)

PW: Cammy, if you don't shut the F*CK UP, I am going to send Sean Penn back to Vietnam to dig Vivi out of a rice paddy and love her long time against her will. And this time, Michael J. Fox won't be around to testify!

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

(FADEOUT)

 

[TSiegel]

(CUTTO: Cameron Cruise, temporarily mocking Jack Bryant.)

CRUISE: YAHHNOOOO...get over yourself, BUB.

The fact that you actually think that I did my praying and putting in time with "He Who Is Known As I Am" in Bobby-Jacks' bedroom is pretty sickly.

I mean, I know that Bobby-Jack has problems, but he's got an excuse for it. What YOUR is, is beyond all comprehension.

ESPECIALLY since you're the Television champion. But you haven't the right to give me any crap because I needed some time to decide things for myself, no one does.

Or maybe you're just bitter because I was being penalized for something I shouldn't and it was something that could've been taken care of at another time instead of as a prerequisite for the match against the Windham Clan...and it was taken over an opportunity you could've used to get where you are now, is that it??

Fine time to throw a tantrum there, Jack.

But I'm glad...REALLY GLAD that you brought up the Ultratitle tournament Jack, because I heard about you accepting your invite to partake.

At least before you chickened out like a *****...yeah, word traveled QUICK about YOU.

It's nice though, you had a little tiffy with Jay-Jay, because that actually IS part of the tapes I'm using to prepare with, just in case I get my hands on him in the tournament.

But you go ahead and take after Dorchester, Calvin and Rumplestiltskin.

I'll be after the more IMPORTANT itinerary, like winning the EMT titles and beating giving Jay-Jay the beating that apparently he still NEEDS after you got the TV title back.

At least we agree on one thing though...if Deacon and I see you in the tournament, I'm not backing up, in fact, I'll be ready, waiting and willing to beat you senseless.

But I'll give more than that if you want, you just say the word, and prepare to regret it later.

As for Teddy Alexander??

I don't have to intimidate you to whip your ass, son.

In fact, if you have it in mind that I'm TRYING to intimidate you, then apparently something before you arrived must've hit you the wrong way, and if so...I've gotta be doing SOMETHING right, because until now...I've never even HEARD of you.

And being that you've did things in Empire Pro while I was busy taking care of other business, goes to show just how much you impacted things. In fact, I'm happy that you think that no man is willing to put you on the back foot, because the point is to put you on your back for three seconds or to make you tap out.

Just like I plan to do myself when I get to Hershey and the Tag Tournament.

Maybe you'd like to join the rest of us at some point?? Just sayin'...and Nova??

You don't tell me what I can and can't say, asshole, not now, certainly not EVER.

Peter...you get back to Troy's Ranch yet?? Just curious.

Jay-Jay, that you??

Are you STILL here?? I figured you'd be spit-shining Troy's Alligator shoes by now....or maybe you are, and I'm keeping you from it.

That's the case...have a good evening of kissing Troys' ass.

What's left of it before Randalls' tears it apart, that is.

FADEOUT

 

[Ford]

Re: WORKIN' OUT THA KINKS

(FADEIN: Jack Harmen stands in front of an NFW flag.)

JACK HARMEN: JJ, when I said who's booking this thing, I meant it in the way a promoter books a venue. IE: I just booked the Rolling Stones to play the Staples Center. I just booked the Can-Am Connection for a backyard event against a bear. I booked the POWERGODZ for Hersheypalooza.

OH! And when I made mention of Dusty Rhodes, I failed to impart the fact that he was my 8th grade English teacher who put "z"'s on the endz of allz his wordz.

And I appreciate your offer JJ of a private locker room with catering service. Here is my verbal request. I would like forty cases of imported beer, pale ales, ipas, the works... plus five handles across the rainbow range of vodka to whiskey. Also, let's get fifteen lobsters and sixteen ounces of that sweet sweet kush.

PARTY AT MY LOCKER ROOM!

Nova, I'll see you in the parking lot. I'll bring free lobster. With some GREEN STUFFING just for you.

VERBAL CONTRACT JJ!

(Mary-Lynn Mayweather, Jack Harmen's student, protege, and lawyer, leans into frame. She smiles.)

MARY-LYNN MAYWEATHER: LAWYERED!

(FADE OUT.)

 

[fugginVOSS]

Re: WORKIN' OUT THA KINKS

[FADE IN: on TEDDY ALEXANDER sitting before his laptop in his hotel room awaiting BRAWLAPALOOZA to get under way. He’s filming himself via the laptop’s webcam and smirking at the camera.]

TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Gee, Cameron. You’re not tryin’ to intimidate me coz you’ve never heard of me.

“Woe is me. Cameron Cruise doesn’t know who I am.”

[Snickers.]

TEDDY ALEXANDER: (smugly)
“I like the part where you talk about what I’ve been doin’ somewhere else.

“But lucky you’ve never heard of me. Lucky you’re not tryin’ to get me on the back foot. Lucky for you if we don’t tie up in that ring. If you think Bobby Jack gave you a taste of his righteous justice you just wait ‘til you taste the back of my hand.

“But you keep diggin’ your own damn grave, Cruise. Keep runnin’ your mouth on guys like me and Jack Bryant and you’ll find yourself force fed your front teeth chokin’ on them words.”

[“Put Your Hands in the Sky” by Straylight Run starts to play and TEDDY digs into his front right pocket and removes an iPhone. He stares at the unfamiliar number and presses the button on the top of the phone before stuffing it into his pocket.]

TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“No idea who that number is but the jerk keeps callin’. Some prank caller calling himself Dickhead or somethin’ like that.”

[Shrug.]

TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“When Brawlapalooza rolls around I’ll ring Phil Atken’s words true. I AM the future of the New Frontier. And people like you, Cameron Cruise, are yesterday’s news linin’ the bottom of the kitty litter.

“Just take a moment to listen to what my partner in this little shindig had to say about me. Have a listen to what he thinks will happen if he even fails to give me one hundred and TEN percent at Brawlapalooza.

“I am violent. I am dangerous. I am the hottest prospect on the Frontier. I am off kilter. I am irrational. Is that the kind of man you want to run your mouth off at, Cameron?”

[ALEXANDER clucks his tongue and folds his arms across this chest, staring down the barrel of the camera.]

TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“There are Hall of Famers in this tournament. Guys who’ve forged careers in the sweat and blood of men I watched wrestle when I was a kid. There’s guys in that ring who’ve held more Championship belts then I’ve even gotten inside a ring.

“Guys in this tournament who have lamented their names in the history books.

“Too bad I’m gonna burn all the books with my own legacy and rise from it the proverbial phoenix from it’s ashes.

“You’re lookin’ at tomorrow. You’re lookin’ at the future.

“And it looks bright.

“Even if the future is painted with the blood of the Frontier’s past.”

[He smiles sadistically.]

TEDDY ALEXANDER:
“Let the bodies hit the floor.”

[TEDDY reaches forward placing his hand on top of the laptop’s lid and shuts it.]

[SHUT TO BLACK!]