SteelCitySon
League Member
First round of World Title Tournament. Three Way Dance rules, first man eliminated from match is eliminated from tournament and entered into Intercontinental. Two winners will face each other one on one next week.
Christian Sands vs. Karl Brown vs. Jonathan Marx
- Thread starter SteelCitySon
- Start date
EpyonMarx
New member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2003
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- Location
- Nottingham, England
- Website
- www.karl-brown.co.uk
[FADE IN. A small crowd of people are standing round a computer in a reception area. The walls are cream, with a couple of plants for decoration along one wall. Karl enters, carrying a gym bag over his shoulder. Thinking nothing of the crowd, he is about to enter the changing room]
Michael: Hey, Karl, come take a look at this [pointing to the screen]
[Karl, sighing, walks over to the monitor, through the crowd]
Michael: See, see? Two and a half stars from Morgan. Man, you got some sweet shots in on Diamond, your effort alone deserved four stars
Karl: Morgan knows a little more about this sport than you do Michael. Besides, it was a sub-par effort from me. I got careless against Mike, but that’s all in the past. I wish you guys would stop bringing these things up; all I care about right now is who I’ve got in the tournament.
Michael: Yeah, you seen…
Karl: Yes, yes, I know I’ve got Sands and Marx. OK? May I please [Karl notices Michael pointing to the camera] Oh for the love of… OK, you guys have made your point, you’re gonna hound me no matter where I go. Give me five minutes to get changed and meet me in the gym. Honestly, I’m sure I used to have to call you guys first.
[Karl walks to the changing room, as the camera fades. When it fades back in, we get a shot of the gym floor, with people using the CV and weights machines. Karl is standing by a cycle machine. Seeing the camera, he sits on it, and begins peddling]
Karl: I hope you don’t mind that I train whilst I talk? No? Good. I suppose you want to hear a few things from me about my next match? OK then. Let’s look at my opponents; Christian Sands, a man I’ve faced twice before, and Jonathan Marx, the FWI rookie of the year. I know a little about the one, and only what I’ve seen of the other. I hope you don’t mind if I start with Christian, seeing as how I’ve wrestled him before.
How’s it going Christian? I must say, you impressed me this week against Rocko. You saw he was distracted, and used that to get you the win. Albeit people are going to say for a while it was a screwy decision, but when it’s all said and done, you won. Just what I’d expect from a man like yourself, a man whose style dictates the pace of the match. I’ve been looking forward to testing myself against you a third time. I know the results of our last two encounters mean nothing now, so I won’t bore you with that. I’ll just say this; I look forward to locking horns with you in the three-way dance, and then maybe one on one again down the line. Should be a challenge either way, one I intend to rise to.
Now, to Jonathan. FWI’s “Rookie of the Year” for two thousand and three. A talented wrestler, with a lot of potential still untapped. How do I prepare for you? There are a lot of variables with you. I don’t know about you, but I never take what I read or what I hear about my opponents; I always try and see them in action, then I at least know a little of what they’re capable of. Of course, I always watch the promos too, just to see what they think about the match.
Sorry I can’t comment too much today, but then again, I didn’t really expect these guys to follow me to the gym again. I’ll have to have a word with Freeman about that. But regardless, I’m looking forward to challenging myself against both of you guys. The match itself is going to be one helluva contest; each one of us wants to progress in the tournament, each one of us wants to win the tournament. The gold to me in a way is secondary; the honour of competing against people like you two is enough; the opportunity to surpass myself is what I’m after. Win or lose, I’ll learn something from this match. So, at Aggression, expect me to give it my all. I expect nothing less from either of you.
[As Karl continues cycling, the camera FADES OUT]
Michael: Hey, Karl, come take a look at this [pointing to the screen]
[Karl, sighing, walks over to the monitor, through the crowd]
Michael: See, see? Two and a half stars from Morgan. Man, you got some sweet shots in on Diamond, your effort alone deserved four stars
Karl: Morgan knows a little more about this sport than you do Michael. Besides, it was a sub-par effort from me. I got careless against Mike, but that’s all in the past. I wish you guys would stop bringing these things up; all I care about right now is who I’ve got in the tournament.
Michael: Yeah, you seen…
Karl: Yes, yes, I know I’ve got Sands and Marx. OK? May I please [Karl notices Michael pointing to the camera] Oh for the love of… OK, you guys have made your point, you’re gonna hound me no matter where I go. Give me five minutes to get changed and meet me in the gym. Honestly, I’m sure I used to have to call you guys first.
[Karl walks to the changing room, as the camera fades. When it fades back in, we get a shot of the gym floor, with people using the CV and weights machines. Karl is standing by a cycle machine. Seeing the camera, he sits on it, and begins peddling]
Karl: I hope you don’t mind that I train whilst I talk? No? Good. I suppose you want to hear a few things from me about my next match? OK then. Let’s look at my opponents; Christian Sands, a man I’ve faced twice before, and Jonathan Marx, the FWI rookie of the year. I know a little about the one, and only what I’ve seen of the other. I hope you don’t mind if I start with Christian, seeing as how I’ve wrestled him before.
How’s it going Christian? I must say, you impressed me this week against Rocko. You saw he was distracted, and used that to get you the win. Albeit people are going to say for a while it was a screwy decision, but when it’s all said and done, you won. Just what I’d expect from a man like yourself, a man whose style dictates the pace of the match. I’ve been looking forward to testing myself against you a third time. I know the results of our last two encounters mean nothing now, so I won’t bore you with that. I’ll just say this; I look forward to locking horns with you in the three-way dance, and then maybe one on one again down the line. Should be a challenge either way, one I intend to rise to.
Now, to Jonathan. FWI’s “Rookie of the Year” for two thousand and three. A talented wrestler, with a lot of potential still untapped. How do I prepare for you? There are a lot of variables with you. I don’t know about you, but I never take what I read or what I hear about my opponents; I always try and see them in action, then I at least know a little of what they’re capable of. Of course, I always watch the promos too, just to see what they think about the match.
Sorry I can’t comment too much today, but then again, I didn’t really expect these guys to follow me to the gym again. I’ll have to have a word with Freeman about that. But regardless, I’m looking forward to challenging myself against both of you guys. The match itself is going to be one helluva contest; each one of us wants to progress in the tournament, each one of us wants to win the tournament. The gold to me in a way is secondary; the honour of competing against people like you two is enough; the opportunity to surpass myself is what I’m after. Win or lose, I’ll learn something from this match. So, at Aggression, expect me to give it my all. I expect nothing less from either of you.
[As Karl continues cycling, the camera FADES OUT]
JABolich
League Member
(FADEIN: CHRISTIAN SANDS' study. SANDS leans back in his chair, watching something on the TV on his desk - apparently the tag end of the latest Rocko Daymon promo. Stacked next to the TV are two piles of tapes. On the left is a small pile with a Post-It note attached; the note reads "BROWN". The stack on the right is quite a bit larger and bears a Post-It labeled "MARX". As the Rocko promo ends, SANDS snorts and turns the TV off.)
Sands: Well, now that Rocko's polished off ANOTHER promo based entirely around him dropping my name, I may as well go ahead and remind the world that I basically pinned him twice in one night. Watch the tape - you'll see that I had him down cleanly the first time, but the official was slow to count. The second time was just gravy. Either way, let that match stand as a lesson out there to those who doubt my drive and ability.
But let's move on, shall we?
For once, Freeman's done something halfway right. After blowing his proverbial wad on a Ryan/Beast money match and booking me against someone far below my caliber, he's actually given me a match against two people who are reasonably worth my time.
So let's start with you, Brown.
You're right about one thing - our matches in MCW are basically meaningless, especially given the fact that I honestly couldn't be bothered to put forth an effort in that sh*thole of a fed. Why bother? I was the biggest star on the roster, so I had nothing to gain by stomping a bunch of no-names. Here, it's different. There are actually wrestlers on this roster who have both prestige and talent.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to knock you, Brown, because in all honesty I see a little of myself in you. You and I, we're both driven by that same urge to outdo ourselves and become more than we are. Keep it up, and your stock in the industry will rise rapidly. However, as promising a talent as you are, you still have a ways to go before you can truly make it big. I, on the other hand, have paid my dues in full - and then some. I've sat back for too long and let people like Sampson and Ryan hog the spotlight. It's my turn.
Now, then.
Mr. Marx.
I happened to pay very close attention to your outing against Rob Sampson, and I have to tell you - I was disappointed in you. From what I'd seen and heard prior to that match, you seemed like an intelligent man, yet you turned right around and completely misjudged Rob based on the fact that his arsenal includes a frog splash and a senton. Nice one. What's your impression of me, hm? Perhaps I'm a high-flyer because I use a moonsault sometimes! Wow, how astute!
Either way, you stupidly misjudged Sampson, and he beat you as a result. But here - I'll fill you on on a little secret right now, Jon.
Anything Sampson can do, I can do better.
Unlike Brown over there, I'm not going to judge you on some award you were granted by a bunch of internet marks. I judge people based on their actions and how they handle the consequences of said actions - and your actions thus far in this promotion have shown me that you're a man prone to making dangerous errors in judgment.
For your sake, you'd better start paying attention, Jon, because when you step into that ring with me you can't afford to misjudge my abilities. Any number of men have done that in the past and been brought up short. Not that I won't bring you up short anyway... but hey, I'm not above giving advice once in awhile.
Step off, boys. Ultimately, this tournament is mine to win, and the title is MINE to take. For too long have I sat on the bench while the same old headliners took the field. This time, I'm stepping up to the plate, and nothing - NOTHING - will stop me from hitting one over the fence. The gold and the glory WILL be mine, no matter the cost.
Welcome to the Year of Sands.
(FADEOUT)
Sands: Well, now that Rocko's polished off ANOTHER promo based entirely around him dropping my name, I may as well go ahead and remind the world that I basically pinned him twice in one night. Watch the tape - you'll see that I had him down cleanly the first time, but the official was slow to count. The second time was just gravy. Either way, let that match stand as a lesson out there to those who doubt my drive and ability.
But let's move on, shall we?
For once, Freeman's done something halfway right. After blowing his proverbial wad on a Ryan/Beast money match and booking me against someone far below my caliber, he's actually given me a match against two people who are reasonably worth my time.
So let's start with you, Brown.
You're right about one thing - our matches in MCW are basically meaningless, especially given the fact that I honestly couldn't be bothered to put forth an effort in that sh*thole of a fed. Why bother? I was the biggest star on the roster, so I had nothing to gain by stomping a bunch of no-names. Here, it's different. There are actually wrestlers on this roster who have both prestige and talent.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to knock you, Brown, because in all honesty I see a little of myself in you. You and I, we're both driven by that same urge to outdo ourselves and become more than we are. Keep it up, and your stock in the industry will rise rapidly. However, as promising a talent as you are, you still have a ways to go before you can truly make it big. I, on the other hand, have paid my dues in full - and then some. I've sat back for too long and let people like Sampson and Ryan hog the spotlight. It's my turn.
Now, then.
Mr. Marx.
I happened to pay very close attention to your outing against Rob Sampson, and I have to tell you - I was disappointed in you. From what I'd seen and heard prior to that match, you seemed like an intelligent man, yet you turned right around and completely misjudged Rob based on the fact that his arsenal includes a frog splash and a senton. Nice one. What's your impression of me, hm? Perhaps I'm a high-flyer because I use a moonsault sometimes! Wow, how astute!
Either way, you stupidly misjudged Sampson, and he beat you as a result. But here - I'll fill you on on a little secret right now, Jon.
Anything Sampson can do, I can do better.
Unlike Brown over there, I'm not going to judge you on some award you were granted by a bunch of internet marks. I judge people based on their actions and how they handle the consequences of said actions - and your actions thus far in this promotion have shown me that you're a man prone to making dangerous errors in judgment.
For your sake, you'd better start paying attention, Jon, because when you step into that ring with me you can't afford to misjudge my abilities. Any number of men have done that in the past and been brought up short. Not that I won't bring you up short anyway... but hey, I'm not above giving advice once in awhile.
Step off, boys. Ultimately, this tournament is mine to win, and the title is MINE to take. For too long have I sat on the bench while the same old headliners took the field. This time, I'm stepping up to the plate, and nothing - NOTHING - will stop me from hitting one over the fence. The gold and the glory WILL be mine, no matter the cost.
Welcome to the Year of Sands.
(FADEOUT)
PaulNJ21
I shunned a voodoo witch, decapitated a black cat
::Jonathan Marx and Brandon Jacobs are sitting in Marx's study::
JONATHAN MARX: Brandon, now I know you had a long layoff between GLCW and Empire Pro, but you really must not drop the ball like you did last time getting the information on Rob Sampson. That is unforgivable with what I pay you.
BRANDON JACOBS: I’m sorry chief. I’ve been being run rampant between my duties with you and WFW that I’ve had to hire people to do the research for me.
JONATHAN MARX: You can afford your own people? I’m paying you way too much. I noticed that new red convertible you are driving.
BRANDON JACOBS: It is a business expense.
JONATHAN MARX: How is a Porsche a business expense?
BRANDON JACOBS: Do you know how you get angry with me every time I comeback with coffee from Starbucks cold? This baby goes from zero to sixty in six seconds flat.
JONATHAN MARX: But Brandon, the coffee shop is on the other side of the school zone. You can’t go sixty miles per hour…
BRANDON JACOBS: More like a one hundred when I get that baby going.
JONATHAN MARX: You can’t go a 100 miles per hour through a school zone. What happens if a kid wanders into the street after his ball?
BRANDON JACOBS: Do you want your coffee hot or not?
JONATHAN MARX: I guess certain sacrifices have to be made. What have you found out about Christian Sands?
BRANDON JACOBS: This match is going to be a real dozy. Christian Sands is none other than a starved Jesus Christ himself going under a pseudonym. You see, Christian Sands went into the desert to fast for forty days and forty nights where he became hungry. The devil came to him in the desert and tempted him to turn the stones into bread but Jesus refused. He must have been on the Atkins diet.
JONATHAN MARX: I seriously doubt that Christian Sands is Jesus Christ.
BRANDON JACOBS: Did you see that miracle Sands and Ryan pulled off against Manson and Stratton in NFW?
JONATHAN MARX: Okay fine, I’ll concede that he can perform miracles but I seriously doubt he is Jesus Christ. He is from Canada and nobody from Canada is Jesus Christ, despite what Jean Rabesque might think.
BRANDON JACOBS: That is true.
JONATHAN MARX: And even if he was Jesus Christ, with the Canadian exchange, he would only be half of a Jesus and that is quite beatable.
BRANDON JACOBS: I can’t believe my crack research has failed me once again. That is the last time I hire college students from Rutgers to do my research. I’m sorry Jonathan.
JONATHAN MARX: Don’t worry about it, I have already been researching both Karl Brown and Christian Sands for the last week and I’ve watched half of a dozen matches of each. I know how to handle them.
BRANDON JACOBS: So you don’t need my report about how Karl Brown is the long lost son of Robin Hood?
JONATHAN MARX: I don’t even need the report about how he is related to Friar Tuck. Strange fact, a friend of mine named Alistar Nixon goes to the University there. Beautiful campus, no Princeton but nothing is. Karl Brown is quite a talented wrestler, I’ve caught several of his MCW matches and he is a hell of a technician from what I’ve seen. I hope Sands takes the pin so I have an opportunity to face him in the next round.
BRANDON JACOBS: Let’s not go and make the same mistake you made with Sampson, our job isn’t to go out there and impress people, it is for you to go out there and win the match. This is your chance to win your first World Title and become Emperor.
JONATHAN MARX: That has a certain ring to it. Emperor Marx leading over the Old School Revolution. Old school wrestling fans coming out of their bomb shelters and dancing in the street because the reign of terror we have all been subject to is finally over. It would be an international holiday all over the world bringing people of all races, creeds and religion together as one.
BRANDON JACOBS: Do you think you could win a Noble Peace Prize for it?
JONATHAN MARX: Well, All of my work has earned me FWI Rookie of the Year, much harder can a Noble Peace Prize really be? Sands and Brown better prepare…. BECAUSE THE EMPEROR IS COMING!
FTB
JABolich
League Member
(FADEIN: CHRISTIAN SANDS leaning against his black Monte Carlo outside his sizable estate, wearing a high-collared black trenchcoat to stave off the cold.)
Sands: Tsk, tsk... little Jonny. Do you not learn?
Last week you took Rob Sampson and judged one aspect of him as the entirety of his being. Now you're judging me based entirely on the fact that I'm Canadian. But at least when you misjudged Rob you did it by focusing on something he actually said or did. Let me ask you a question... in how many of my promos have you seen me making an issue of my nationality? NONE.
How aboot that, eh? You right went and made a fool of yourself again.
Here's a little fact for you, Little Jonny. My nationality is in no way a factor in this match. Hell... I'd kick your ass whether I came from Canada, England, Botswana, the Federated States of Micronesia, et cetera, et cetera. Here's a hint for you, though. Instead of focusing on the fact that I'm Canadian, try focusing on what kind of man I am. Maybe if you do that you'll be able to squeeze in a punch or two before I squash you flat.
And what's with the religious analogies? I honestly don't see how I went out into the desert for forty days and forty nights. Oh, wait... it's a deep metaphor that only an intellectual like you would get. The same intellectual who was smart enough to not learn from his mistakes in his last match and judge me on an insignificant detail in this one. You're SO smart, Jon Boy!
You know, Jon, up until this match I had a certain amount of respect for you. You seemed to have a lot of talent and a good solid mentality. But now that I have the opportunity to face you man-to-man I have a hard time understanding why the critics and analysts are always on your jock, because quite frankly you're showing me that you don't have the tools to do the job that's been laid before you. For all the hype surrounding you, Mr. Rookie of the Year, it's clear to me that even as you walk among the animals you have problems understanding the nature of the beast. You develop these notions based on one small factor and stick to them religiously, only to have them painfully shattered.
I've been called arrogant - and rightfully so - but you've got your own peculiar breed of arrogance. You simply can't comprehend the idea that things might not be as they seem. You showed me that against Sampson, and you're repeating it against me. Fortunately, one of my favorite pastimes is defeating preconceived notions - and you've got plenty of those, don't you, Jon Jon?
The Emperor's coming, eh? Not likely, my friend. The throne's already reserved. My coronation is already scheduled for Black Dawn. But until then, I'll settle for removing you from contention and moving on to face Brown next week.
Tread carefully, Marx.
And remember.
The Sandstorm hides many secrets.
(FADEOUT)
Sands: Tsk, tsk... little Jonny. Do you not learn?
Last week you took Rob Sampson and judged one aspect of him as the entirety of his being. Now you're judging me based entirely on the fact that I'm Canadian. But at least when you misjudged Rob you did it by focusing on something he actually said or did. Let me ask you a question... in how many of my promos have you seen me making an issue of my nationality? NONE.
How aboot that, eh? You right went and made a fool of yourself again.
Here's a little fact for you, Little Jonny. My nationality is in no way a factor in this match. Hell... I'd kick your ass whether I came from Canada, England, Botswana, the Federated States of Micronesia, et cetera, et cetera. Here's a hint for you, though. Instead of focusing on the fact that I'm Canadian, try focusing on what kind of man I am. Maybe if you do that you'll be able to squeeze in a punch or two before I squash you flat.
And what's with the religious analogies? I honestly don't see how I went out into the desert for forty days and forty nights. Oh, wait... it's a deep metaphor that only an intellectual like you would get. The same intellectual who was smart enough to not learn from his mistakes in his last match and judge me on an insignificant detail in this one. You're SO smart, Jon Boy!
You know, Jon, up until this match I had a certain amount of respect for you. You seemed to have a lot of talent and a good solid mentality. But now that I have the opportunity to face you man-to-man I have a hard time understanding why the critics and analysts are always on your jock, because quite frankly you're showing me that you don't have the tools to do the job that's been laid before you. For all the hype surrounding you, Mr. Rookie of the Year, it's clear to me that even as you walk among the animals you have problems understanding the nature of the beast. You develop these notions based on one small factor and stick to them religiously, only to have them painfully shattered.
I've been called arrogant - and rightfully so - but you've got your own peculiar breed of arrogance. You simply can't comprehend the idea that things might not be as they seem. You showed me that against Sampson, and you're repeating it against me. Fortunately, one of my favorite pastimes is defeating preconceived notions - and you've got plenty of those, don't you, Jon Jon?
The Emperor's coming, eh? Not likely, my friend. The throne's already reserved. My coronation is already scheduled for Black Dawn. But until then, I'll settle for removing you from contention and moving on to face Brown next week.
Tread carefully, Marx.
And remember.
The Sandstorm hides many secrets.
(FADEOUT)
PaulNJ21
I shunned a voodoo witch, decapitated a black cat
How Dare We!
::Jonathan Marx and Brandon Jacobs are walking down the streets of Princeton all bundled up down to the college bookstore::
BRANDON JACOBS: Why is Christian Sands so worked up about you calling him Canadian?
JONATHAN MARX: National shame… He is ashamed that Canada is a relatively polite country that takes care of its citizens with national healthcare and has a love for hockey.
BRANDON JACOBS: Man, how does he look at himself in the morning?
JONATHAN MARX: The same thing happened to the South. People for years use to ridicule how people in the South talked, lived, and what they believed in to the point where many people assimilated to be more like the North. You can tell by how he responded that he is ashamed of where he is from and won’t even come to its defense.
BRANDON JACOBS: He was trying to bring up the point about individual character.
JONATHAN MARX: Well, what does it say for your character when you won’t even defend your country when someone attacks it? How can someone like Christian Sands ever hope to represent the Empire when he doesn’t even hold his own country dear?
BRANDON JACOBS: Sands seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t even be loyal to a dog even when a dog was loyal to him.
JONATHAN MARX: Sands is loyal to no one but himself. Did you hear how he mocked the fact how we brought up that Christian Sands may actually have a religious meaning behind it?
BRANDON JACOBS: Golly, I wonder how anyone could get that impression. :::Goofy Voice:: We nothing but a bunch of stupids.
JONATHAN MARX: Either he awfully embarrassed about it and doesn’t want to tell us or he just lucked into a meaningful name by accident. But what gets me is that he is mad because we actually thought he was a thinking man.
BRANDON JACOBS: This Christian Sands fellow is quite easy to insult. He must not have many friends.
JONATHAN MARX: ::walks toward the end of the street he just crossed:: If Christian Sands thinks that was insulting… ::Marx cups his hands:: YOU ARE A GOOD WRESTLER! YOU PRACTICE GOOD DENTAL HYGIENE! YOU HAVE A GOOD PHYSIQUE AND THE SKULL TATTOO LOOKS COOL!
BRANDON JACOBS: ::runs and grabs Jonathan's coat:: STOP IT! Stop it right now! You are going to make Christian Sands mad…
JONATHAN MARX: I’m just warming up…. YOUR MOTHER IS A SAINT! SHE IS A GREAT COOK! SHE PUTS MOTHER F’N TERESA TO SHAME!
BRANDON JACOBS: Aww damn, we are so dead now.
JONATHAN MARX: There is more to come where that came from Mister. Just wait until I get you into the ring Christian Sands…. BECAUSE THE EMPEROR IS COMING FOR YOU!
::Brandon Jacobs opens the door for Jonathan and they enter the bookstore::
FTB
::Jonathan Marx and Brandon Jacobs are walking down the streets of Princeton all bundled up down to the college bookstore::
BRANDON JACOBS: Why is Christian Sands so worked up about you calling him Canadian?
JONATHAN MARX: National shame… He is ashamed that Canada is a relatively polite country that takes care of its citizens with national healthcare and has a love for hockey.
BRANDON JACOBS: Man, how does he look at himself in the morning?
JONATHAN MARX: The same thing happened to the South. People for years use to ridicule how people in the South talked, lived, and what they believed in to the point where many people assimilated to be more like the North. You can tell by how he responded that he is ashamed of where he is from and won’t even come to its defense.
BRANDON JACOBS: He was trying to bring up the point about individual character.
JONATHAN MARX: Well, what does it say for your character when you won’t even defend your country when someone attacks it? How can someone like Christian Sands ever hope to represent the Empire when he doesn’t even hold his own country dear?
BRANDON JACOBS: Sands seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t even be loyal to a dog even when a dog was loyal to him.
JONATHAN MARX: Sands is loyal to no one but himself. Did you hear how he mocked the fact how we brought up that Christian Sands may actually have a religious meaning behind it?
BRANDON JACOBS: Golly, I wonder how anyone could get that impression. :::Goofy Voice:: We nothing but a bunch of stupids.
JONATHAN MARX: Either he awfully embarrassed about it and doesn’t want to tell us or he just lucked into a meaningful name by accident. But what gets me is that he is mad because we actually thought he was a thinking man.
BRANDON JACOBS: This Christian Sands fellow is quite easy to insult. He must not have many friends.
JONATHAN MARX: ::walks toward the end of the street he just crossed:: If Christian Sands thinks that was insulting… ::Marx cups his hands:: YOU ARE A GOOD WRESTLER! YOU PRACTICE GOOD DENTAL HYGIENE! YOU HAVE A GOOD PHYSIQUE AND THE SKULL TATTOO LOOKS COOL!
BRANDON JACOBS: ::runs and grabs Jonathan's coat:: STOP IT! Stop it right now! You are going to make Christian Sands mad…
JONATHAN MARX: I’m just warming up…. YOUR MOTHER IS A SAINT! SHE IS A GREAT COOK! SHE PUTS MOTHER F’N TERESA TO SHAME!
BRANDON JACOBS: Aww damn, we are so dead now.
JONATHAN MARX: There is more to come where that came from Mister. Just wait until I get you into the ring Christian Sands…. BECAUSE THE EMPEROR IS COMING FOR YOU!
::Brandon Jacobs opens the door for Jonathan and they enter the bookstore::
FTB
Last edited:
JABolich
League Member
(FADEIN: SANDS. White backdrop. Fun.)
Sands: Mr. Marx, I think you have a problem with your hearing.
Here you are, blathering on about how I'm somehow weak because I don't defend my country. Has it occurred to you, Jon, that I didn't defend my country because that's NOT THE ISSUE, you f*cking mongoloid? How could you have possibly have missed that? It was one of the first things I said in my last promo.
(Deep breath...)
Aaaaaalriiiiight. If I survived Rocko's mind-numbing stupidity, I can handle this.
I'll say it again, just so you get it this time...
My nationality... does not... MATTERRRRRRRRR.
Unless Empire Pro Wrestling is actually code for the Assembly of the United Nations, there's absolutely no reason for me to sit here playing My Country's Better Than Yours. I wouldn't anyway, because that's not my style. Unlike some people around here, I prefer to speak man-to-man rather than circling the issue with double-talk and mindless metaphor.
And aren't you smart for making religious jokes based off my name. But here's a question...
Do I look religious to you?
Have I even MENTIONED religion?
Certainly not.
Are you an idiot?
Yes you are.
About the only thing you've shown me thus far, Jonny, is that you're ridiculously stupid. Maybe you THINK you're a thinking man, but there's a difference between being a thinking man and a faux intellectual that you seem to be ignoring. It's not the sign of great intellect to make vague religious jokes about my name - it's a sign of a small mind. What's wrong, don't have anything better to talk about?
I've come to realize, Jon Jon, that you know absolutely nothing about me. All the wild metaphors and Bible jokes and double-talk you're spewing is just a cover to hide the fact that you're talking out your ass.
But here. I'll help you get straight to the point and cut past all this superficial bullsh*t you're focusing on as if it were of consequence. The point is that you don't have the tools to beat me, and you certainly don't have the verbal acumen to try and make me look bad. The worst you can do is poke fun at my name and try to goad me into an argument over nationality. I, on the other hand, focus on what's actually IMPORTANT - the MATCH. The match in which I'm going to beat you from post to post.
You're done, Marx. Stepping into that ring with me isn't something you undertake lightly, and it certainly isn't something you do without preparing adequately. Yet you don't even have a clue about me. So how... how... how the hell do you expect to actually beat me? By hitting me over the head with an American flag? By kicking me when I'm busy praying? Because I MUST be a Christian - after all, that's my NAME! Nevermind that I was born with it - it automatically makes me religious! By that same token, then, you're a Communist and should be tag-teaming with Ivan Dalkichev. I COULD take that stance... but I, unlike you, KNOW BETTER. I've actually bothered to figure out who you are instead of toying with assorted banalities that mean nothing in the long run.
Incidentally, did your pal Michael Manson tell you how to cut this sort of promo? I wouldn't be surprised. It's his style - you know, make a couple of stupid points, then when the other person rebuffs them as meaningless, you claim that they don't "get it." I get it, alright. I get that you're a shallow twit with no sense of what matters in this sport. I get that you have absolutely no chance against me, and I get that you're going down hard. After all, Manson pulled this same sort of thing on me and Ryan, and we beat his ass. And he beat YOUR ass. So who's better than who here?
Congratulations - you've made me completely reverse my initial expectations of you. I was expecting a man of substance and skill. Instead, I get Special Little Jonny, straight off the short bus with his box of useless facts, trivial information, and moronic metaphors. Good for you.
Oh, I'll happily wait until you get me in the ring. I could use a good laugh. Watching you try to perform should be amusing... especially after I drop you on your head a few times and throw you out of the tournament - because you're simply not good enough to hang with the likes of me, or even the likes of Brown. But don't sweat it. I hear dark matches pay well these days, so you should be able to get by.
Now go hang out in a few more bookstores. Maybe if you're lucky they'll carry the special edition of Green Eggs And Ham. I know you love that one, don't you?
Buh-bye, Jon Jon.
(FADEOUT)
Sands: Mr. Marx, I think you have a problem with your hearing.
Here you are, blathering on about how I'm somehow weak because I don't defend my country. Has it occurred to you, Jon, that I didn't defend my country because that's NOT THE ISSUE, you f*cking mongoloid? How could you have possibly have missed that? It was one of the first things I said in my last promo.
(Deep breath...)
Aaaaaalriiiiight. If I survived Rocko's mind-numbing stupidity, I can handle this.
I'll say it again, just so you get it this time...
My nationality... does not... MATTERRRRRRRRR.
Unless Empire Pro Wrestling is actually code for the Assembly of the United Nations, there's absolutely no reason for me to sit here playing My Country's Better Than Yours. I wouldn't anyway, because that's not my style. Unlike some people around here, I prefer to speak man-to-man rather than circling the issue with double-talk and mindless metaphor.
And aren't you smart for making religious jokes based off my name. But here's a question...
Do I look religious to you?
Have I even MENTIONED religion?
Certainly not.
Are you an idiot?
Yes you are.
About the only thing you've shown me thus far, Jonny, is that you're ridiculously stupid. Maybe you THINK you're a thinking man, but there's a difference between being a thinking man and a faux intellectual that you seem to be ignoring. It's not the sign of great intellect to make vague religious jokes about my name - it's a sign of a small mind. What's wrong, don't have anything better to talk about?
I've come to realize, Jon Jon, that you know absolutely nothing about me. All the wild metaphors and Bible jokes and double-talk you're spewing is just a cover to hide the fact that you're talking out your ass.
But here. I'll help you get straight to the point and cut past all this superficial bullsh*t you're focusing on as if it were of consequence. The point is that you don't have the tools to beat me, and you certainly don't have the verbal acumen to try and make me look bad. The worst you can do is poke fun at my name and try to goad me into an argument over nationality. I, on the other hand, focus on what's actually IMPORTANT - the MATCH. The match in which I'm going to beat you from post to post.
You're done, Marx. Stepping into that ring with me isn't something you undertake lightly, and it certainly isn't something you do without preparing adequately. Yet you don't even have a clue about me. So how... how... how the hell do you expect to actually beat me? By hitting me over the head with an American flag? By kicking me when I'm busy praying? Because I MUST be a Christian - after all, that's my NAME! Nevermind that I was born with it - it automatically makes me religious! By that same token, then, you're a Communist and should be tag-teaming with Ivan Dalkichev. I COULD take that stance... but I, unlike you, KNOW BETTER. I've actually bothered to figure out who you are instead of toying with assorted banalities that mean nothing in the long run.
Incidentally, did your pal Michael Manson tell you how to cut this sort of promo? I wouldn't be surprised. It's his style - you know, make a couple of stupid points, then when the other person rebuffs them as meaningless, you claim that they don't "get it." I get it, alright. I get that you're a shallow twit with no sense of what matters in this sport. I get that you have absolutely no chance against me, and I get that you're going down hard. After all, Manson pulled this same sort of thing on me and Ryan, and we beat his ass. And he beat YOUR ass. So who's better than who here?
Congratulations - you've made me completely reverse my initial expectations of you. I was expecting a man of substance and skill. Instead, I get Special Little Jonny, straight off the short bus with his box of useless facts, trivial information, and moronic metaphors. Good for you.
Oh, I'll happily wait until you get me in the ring. I could use a good laugh. Watching you try to perform should be amusing... especially after I drop you on your head a few times and throw you out of the tournament - because you're simply not good enough to hang with the likes of me, or even the likes of Brown. But don't sweat it. I hear dark matches pay well these days, so you should be able to get by.
Now go hang out in a few more bookstores. Maybe if you're lucky they'll carry the special edition of Green Eggs And Ham. I know you love that one, don't you?
Buh-bye, Jon Jon.
(FADEOUT)
EpyonMarx
New member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2003
- Messages
- 1,004
- Points
- 0
- Location
- Nottingham, England
- Website
- www.karl-brown.co.uk
[FADE IN. Karl is sitting in a darkened room, watching the last of Christian Sands’ promos. As the tape stops, he pulls a nearby cord, and the lights come on]
Karl: I don’t know what I find more ridiculous; Jonathan Marx trying to be funny with Christian Sands, some bizarre claim that I’m related to Robin Hood, or the fact that I seem to have been forgotten about it all this. At least Christian’s mentioned me lately. That’s a mistake on Marx’s part.
That which you don’t acknowledge has a habit of being that which does the most damage.
Now, you did in your first promo say you’d seen me in action in MCW, so I guess you’re not all that bad. You at least do some decent research. But Robin Hood? Friar Tuck? You should REALLY get some better researchers. Especially with regards Christian Sands.
I’ve wrestled him before, so I know a little of what he’s capable of, but I’m not taking him lightly in this match. Trying to have a laugh and a joke around with him in the ring will get you knocked straight out of this tournament. He doesn’t suffer fools. I know; I tried that one once. Didn’t turn out how I’d hoped.
Now, Jonathan, you’re the FWI rookie of the year. You obviously did something right last year. But, I was thinking. I got out some newspaper articles about you, got some about myself, and, after looking long and hard, after turning the pages every which way, I couldn’t see when you beat me. Isn’t that odd? The rookie of the year didn’t defeat every other rookie last year. Yes, I’ve only been wrestling pro since late last year. But still, that title doesn’t carry so much weight now. I guess that was a mistake on my part; giving you more credit for that title than was due. So, I looked over some of your matches, and that’s given me something tangible to go on.
Even if your so-called humour is too low brow for me to take seriously.
You see, Jonathan, you’re not the only university graduate here. The reason I started wrestling in two thousand and three as opposed to two thousand and two is that I was finishing my course. So it’s not as if I’m an idiot; but your humour just… it lacks something. Or maybe that’s the point? Maybe you’re trying to put Christian off his game by making him think you’re an idiot? It won’t work either.
Now, Christian. I see you’re the same as ever, focusing on the match at hand. Good. It’s what I’d expect from someone of your calibre. And I know there’s not been a great history between us, but I must say I can respect what you do in the ring. I can respect that you feel this is your time to break free from the pack, to reach new heights. But, and yes I’m about to get generic here, I can’t just step aside and let you past. You feel this is your time; I feel this is my time. Marx feels it’s time to crack mind-numbingly poor jokes.
Christian, I could offer you some advice, but that would be pointless; knowing you, you already know not to take Marx or I lightly. A three count is all it takes to lose, nothing more. I must admit I hope I face you one on one in the next round, but if I get Marx, I’ll do the same as I always have. Trained for victory, and stepped through the curtains to surpass myself. The title is secondary to me this time; I can wait if I get eliminated at any point in this tournament, because I know my chance will come again. The honour of wrestling people like you and Marx at their best is enough for me. The title? That’s an added bonus.
Jonathan, Christian, I look forward to our match. But please, Jon, don’t insult our intelligence with jokes not even Jasper Carrot would use. And Christian, keep up the god work.
[FADE OUT]
Karl: I don’t know what I find more ridiculous; Jonathan Marx trying to be funny with Christian Sands, some bizarre claim that I’m related to Robin Hood, or the fact that I seem to have been forgotten about it all this. At least Christian’s mentioned me lately. That’s a mistake on Marx’s part.
That which you don’t acknowledge has a habit of being that which does the most damage.
Now, you did in your first promo say you’d seen me in action in MCW, so I guess you’re not all that bad. You at least do some decent research. But Robin Hood? Friar Tuck? You should REALLY get some better researchers. Especially with regards Christian Sands.
I’ve wrestled him before, so I know a little of what he’s capable of, but I’m not taking him lightly in this match. Trying to have a laugh and a joke around with him in the ring will get you knocked straight out of this tournament. He doesn’t suffer fools. I know; I tried that one once. Didn’t turn out how I’d hoped.
Now, Jonathan, you’re the FWI rookie of the year. You obviously did something right last year. But, I was thinking. I got out some newspaper articles about you, got some about myself, and, after looking long and hard, after turning the pages every which way, I couldn’t see when you beat me. Isn’t that odd? The rookie of the year didn’t defeat every other rookie last year. Yes, I’ve only been wrestling pro since late last year. But still, that title doesn’t carry so much weight now. I guess that was a mistake on my part; giving you more credit for that title than was due. So, I looked over some of your matches, and that’s given me something tangible to go on.
Even if your so-called humour is too low brow for me to take seriously.
You see, Jonathan, you’re not the only university graduate here. The reason I started wrestling in two thousand and three as opposed to two thousand and two is that I was finishing my course. So it’s not as if I’m an idiot; but your humour just… it lacks something. Or maybe that’s the point? Maybe you’re trying to put Christian off his game by making him think you’re an idiot? It won’t work either.
Now, Christian. I see you’re the same as ever, focusing on the match at hand. Good. It’s what I’d expect from someone of your calibre. And I know there’s not been a great history between us, but I must say I can respect what you do in the ring. I can respect that you feel this is your time to break free from the pack, to reach new heights. But, and yes I’m about to get generic here, I can’t just step aside and let you past. You feel this is your time; I feel this is my time. Marx feels it’s time to crack mind-numbingly poor jokes.
Christian, I could offer you some advice, but that would be pointless; knowing you, you already know not to take Marx or I lightly. A three count is all it takes to lose, nothing more. I must admit I hope I face you one on one in the next round, but if I get Marx, I’ll do the same as I always have. Trained for victory, and stepped through the curtains to surpass myself. The title is secondary to me this time; I can wait if I get eliminated at any point in this tournament, because I know my chance will come again. The honour of wrestling people like you and Marx at their best is enough for me. The title? That’s an added bonus.
Jonathan, Christian, I look forward to our match. But please, Jon, don’t insult our intelligence with jokes not even Jasper Carrot would use. And Christian, keep up the god work.
[FADE OUT]
PaulNJ21
I shunned a voodoo witch, decapitated a black cat
Headaches Galore
::Jonathan Marx is laying on his bed with an ice pack on his head::
BRANDON JACOBS: Come on, Sands and Brown are waiting for you to respond.
JONATHAN MARX: I feel like I’m a prisoner in a third grade classroom. This is mind numbing.
BRANDON JACOBS: Speak in small words and slowly, maybe they will understand.
JONATHAN MARX: This is of no use. Christian Sands is as oblivious as Manson said he was. I had at least expected a bit more from Karl Brown. He thought you were on the level when you said he was son the of Friar Tuck.
BRANDON JACOBS: Obviously his parents didn’t let him watch shows like Monty Python where he could have learned the meaning of satire.
JONATHAN MARX: He also went on some silly rant that I didn’t deserve the FWI Rookie of the Year because I didn’t face and beat him. Somehow it was my fault he wasn’t competing in a real league like NFW which has been around for more than three months. Hell, if I was wrestling in Alaska, I wouldn’t have rookie of the year either. That is how it works Karl.
BRANDON JACOBS: MCW had some really good shows and talent too like Adam Benjamin and Sean Edmunds, but the money backers weren’t willing to wait and let it develop into something more.
JONATHAN MARX: I never once ignored Karl Brown. I’m insulted that he even thought I did. I was merely responding to Christian Sands’ Howard Dean like rant over the fact that I brought up he was Canadian. Karl Brown should be happy that he isn’t from the same gene pool as Christian Sands so I don’t have to thrash him verbally.
BRANDON JACOBS: Poor kid just felt left out, that is all.
JONATHAN MARX: Christian Sands and Karl Brown are making a great issue out of how I’ve never faced either of them like it is this great disadvantage to me when neither man has ever faced me either. They are talking out of their ass, which is hard to distinguish on Sands, because they don’t know me either.
BRANDON JACOBS: Christian Sands wants focus on the match.
JONATHAN MARX: If Christian Sands wants to talk about wrestling, LETS TALK ABOUT WRESTLING! He has two finishers, both are variations of the Cobra Clutch and out of a reptoire of twenty moves, he only does two moves which work over the neck! Meanwhile Sands does four moves to work over the arm and none of it helps to setup finisher. Brilliant strategy Sands! My god, Karl Brown thinks my jokes are bad, he should see Christian Sands attempt to wrestle. He is a regular Carrot Top.
BRANDON JACOBS: And Sands is one of the better ones…
JONATHAN MARX: That is what makes this all so damn sad. If you try to engage all of these so called great wrestlers in a wrestling discussion, they fall on their ass when they try to back it up.
BRANDON JACOBS: Push them down then. Show them who is boss.
JONATHAN MARX: It is like teaching trigonometry to six year olds. You can try, but they will never learn. Please, let me be Brandon. I’ll answer them in due time when I’m ready.
FTB
::Jonathan Marx is laying on his bed with an ice pack on his head::
BRANDON JACOBS: Come on, Sands and Brown are waiting for you to respond.
JONATHAN MARX: I feel like I’m a prisoner in a third grade classroom. This is mind numbing.
BRANDON JACOBS: Speak in small words and slowly, maybe they will understand.
JONATHAN MARX: This is of no use. Christian Sands is as oblivious as Manson said he was. I had at least expected a bit more from Karl Brown. He thought you were on the level when you said he was son the of Friar Tuck.
BRANDON JACOBS: Obviously his parents didn’t let him watch shows like Monty Python where he could have learned the meaning of satire.
JONATHAN MARX: He also went on some silly rant that I didn’t deserve the FWI Rookie of the Year because I didn’t face and beat him. Somehow it was my fault he wasn’t competing in a real league like NFW which has been around for more than three months. Hell, if I was wrestling in Alaska, I wouldn’t have rookie of the year either. That is how it works Karl.
BRANDON JACOBS: MCW had some really good shows and talent too like Adam Benjamin and Sean Edmunds, but the money backers weren’t willing to wait and let it develop into something more.
JONATHAN MARX: I never once ignored Karl Brown. I’m insulted that he even thought I did. I was merely responding to Christian Sands’ Howard Dean like rant over the fact that I brought up he was Canadian. Karl Brown should be happy that he isn’t from the same gene pool as Christian Sands so I don’t have to thrash him verbally.
BRANDON JACOBS: Poor kid just felt left out, that is all.
JONATHAN MARX: Christian Sands and Karl Brown are making a great issue out of how I’ve never faced either of them like it is this great disadvantage to me when neither man has ever faced me either. They are talking out of their ass, which is hard to distinguish on Sands, because they don’t know me either.
BRANDON JACOBS: Christian Sands wants focus on the match.
JONATHAN MARX: If Christian Sands wants to talk about wrestling, LETS TALK ABOUT WRESTLING! He has two finishers, both are variations of the Cobra Clutch and out of a reptoire of twenty moves, he only does two moves which work over the neck! Meanwhile Sands does four moves to work over the arm and none of it helps to setup finisher. Brilliant strategy Sands! My god, Karl Brown thinks my jokes are bad, he should see Christian Sands attempt to wrestle. He is a regular Carrot Top.
BRANDON JACOBS: And Sands is one of the better ones…
JONATHAN MARX: That is what makes this all so damn sad. If you try to engage all of these so called great wrestlers in a wrestling discussion, they fall on their ass when they try to back it up.
BRANDON JACOBS: Push them down then. Show them who is boss.
JONATHAN MARX: It is like teaching trigonometry to six year olds. You can try, but they will never learn. Please, let me be Brandon. I’ll answer them in due time when I’m ready.
FTB
EpyonMarx
New member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2003
- Messages
- 1,004
- Points
- 0
- Location
- Nottingham, England
- Website
- www.karl-brown.co.uk
[FADE IN. Karl is standing in front of an Empire Pro backdrop. Nothing fancy]
Karl: Ho hum. It seems you, Brandon, have never seen true satire. I know full well what Monty Python’s Flying Circus is. It may be one form of satire, but it isn’t the best. Look at something like “Yes, Minister” if you want true satire. But I digress. Jonathan wants intelligent discussion.
So, Mr Marx, where shall we begin? How about, that I never said you didn’t deserve the Rookie of the Year title? I merely suggested that maybe it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, seeing as how you can never tell who the greatest rookie of any given year is. I think Christian summed it up best; the Internet marks were good for you.
Do you want me to slow it down further?
You won an award. Good for you. You do not know if you are the best rookie from last year though. You never faced me. Award not as important as people think.
Now, to knock it up a level again. You say you never ignored me. Well, granted, you did make a few minor references towards me. But honestly, you gave more attention to Christian Sands than you seemed to give to breathing. You seemed more interested in poking fun at him. Mentioning me in a few words doesn’t count as an attempt to engage in intelligent discussion. Surely the two of you there have the combined intelligence to realise that? Then again, you seemed not to notice who Jasper Carrot is, so I can’t really be all that surprised.
I know that I’ve never fought you; I know I don’t know exactly what you can do in the ring. Am I underestimating you? Nope. I don’t underestimate people. That’s the mistake I’ve seen a lot of people make over the years. It’s one that leads to carelessness. Something you seem to suffer from. Does that ice pack really mean anything? Are we not up to your intellectual level? Or are Christian and myself just confused by your stunning lack of originality? I know I am.
You wish to engage me in intelligent conversation? Raise an intelligent point, and I’ll be more than happy to comply. Until then, do everyone a favour and actually discover some modicum of creativity and intelligence for trying to put us down. Actually try and find something to argue with me.
Now that the more personal matters are out of the way, let us talk about our upcoming three-way dance match. We have Christian Sands, a highly skilled technician who feels it’s his time to shine, using the same motto as a lot of wrestlers, “The Year of” then their name. We have Jonathan Marx, a young talent who seems to think himself intellectually superior to both Christian and myself. Finally, we have myself, a man who works hard and is looking forward to a good, hard fought match. Which way will this bout go? Will it be Jonathan, Christian or myself who gets pinned? I can’t rightly say. It only takes a three count to lose the fall. One lucky break to get the victory. I’ve proven that before against more experienced opponents. Which two of us are going to walk into the next round? It’ll be interesting to see how things develop, won’t it?
Keep smiling
[FADE OUT]
Karl: Ho hum. It seems you, Brandon, have never seen true satire. I know full well what Monty Python’s Flying Circus is. It may be one form of satire, but it isn’t the best. Look at something like “Yes, Minister” if you want true satire. But I digress. Jonathan wants intelligent discussion.
So, Mr Marx, where shall we begin? How about, that I never said you didn’t deserve the Rookie of the Year title? I merely suggested that maybe it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, seeing as how you can never tell who the greatest rookie of any given year is. I think Christian summed it up best; the Internet marks were good for you.
Do you want me to slow it down further?
You won an award. Good for you. You do not know if you are the best rookie from last year though. You never faced me. Award not as important as people think.
Now, to knock it up a level again. You say you never ignored me. Well, granted, you did make a few minor references towards me. But honestly, you gave more attention to Christian Sands than you seemed to give to breathing. You seemed more interested in poking fun at him. Mentioning me in a few words doesn’t count as an attempt to engage in intelligent discussion. Surely the two of you there have the combined intelligence to realise that? Then again, you seemed not to notice who Jasper Carrot is, so I can’t really be all that surprised.
I know that I’ve never fought you; I know I don’t know exactly what you can do in the ring. Am I underestimating you? Nope. I don’t underestimate people. That’s the mistake I’ve seen a lot of people make over the years. It’s one that leads to carelessness. Something you seem to suffer from. Does that ice pack really mean anything? Are we not up to your intellectual level? Or are Christian and myself just confused by your stunning lack of originality? I know I am.
You wish to engage me in intelligent conversation? Raise an intelligent point, and I’ll be more than happy to comply. Until then, do everyone a favour and actually discover some modicum of creativity and intelligence for trying to put us down. Actually try and find something to argue with me.
Now that the more personal matters are out of the way, let us talk about our upcoming three-way dance match. We have Christian Sands, a highly skilled technician who feels it’s his time to shine, using the same motto as a lot of wrestlers, “The Year of” then their name. We have Jonathan Marx, a young talent who seems to think himself intellectually superior to both Christian and myself. Finally, we have myself, a man who works hard and is looking forward to a good, hard fought match. Which way will this bout go? Will it be Jonathan, Christian or myself who gets pinned? I can’t rightly say. It only takes a three count to lose the fall. One lucky break to get the victory. I’ve proven that before against more experienced opponents. Which two of us are going to walk into the next round? It’ll be interesting to see how things develop, won’t it?
Keep smiling
[FADE OUT]
PaulNJ21
I shunned a voodoo witch, decapitated a black cat
To Karl Brown With Love
::Jonathan Marx is sitting in a chair next to the fire::
JONATHAN MARX: Karl, consider yourself a lucky man because I’ve decided to devote this whole interview you so you feel special and stop the incessant whining about me ignoring you. I’m sorry for the harsh tone, but you are starting to get on my nerves.
In any art form, whether it be cinema, music or even pro wrestling when it is done correctly, there are people who judge other by subjective standards in order to sort out who is the best of the best. There is no science to it, I never claimed that there was. But you should know one little detail, FWI Mag was the official magazine to which MCW officially belonged, but either you didn’t leave a big enough impression among MCW fans or your league failed you, but you didn’t win.
Personally, I believe you are a great technician, I have not ONCE put that into question. But even if you beat me or I beat you, that wouldn’t decide who the best rookie of 2003 was. You didn’t have to face people like Maelstrom, Manson, GUNS, or Jean Rabesque over the last year and aren’t as banged up as I am. The champion of your league was a lower card wrestler from both the GXW and WFW. The facts are the facts.
Now since you want to talk about Jasper Carrot, lets talk about Jasper Carrot. Personally I’d rather talk about his daughter on The Office, but you are a Jasper man so Jasper it is. Jasper Carrot was nominated in 2003 for the BBC’s Great Midlander along side William Shakespeare, great scientists, composers, and footballers who left their mark on the United Kingdom. The man is funny but he gets a bad reputation because he doesn’t pull any punches when he makes fun of society. That is what comedians do and have done since the dawn of time. So if you want to insult me by putting me in the same class as him and all of those other talented individuals, go ahead and I thank you in advance.
The young talent, as you refer to me instead of highly skilled technician, current leads in the NFW North in points over Manson, DC Stratton, Dan Ryan, Shawn Hart, Kin Hiroshi, and Christian Sands and ties me with Hornet in the South who many people consider the greatest wrestler who ever lived. Don’t dismiss me as “young” or “inexperienced” because I’m not from MCW or GXW, I like you Karl, I really do, but I promise you that I’ll slap that smile off your face if you make the same mistake as Sands.
Cheerio my good chap.
FTB
::Jonathan Marx is sitting in a chair next to the fire::
JONATHAN MARX: Karl, consider yourself a lucky man because I’ve decided to devote this whole interview you so you feel special and stop the incessant whining about me ignoring you. I’m sorry for the harsh tone, but you are starting to get on my nerves.
In any art form, whether it be cinema, music or even pro wrestling when it is done correctly, there are people who judge other by subjective standards in order to sort out who is the best of the best. There is no science to it, I never claimed that there was. But you should know one little detail, FWI Mag was the official magazine to which MCW officially belonged, but either you didn’t leave a big enough impression among MCW fans or your league failed you, but you didn’t win.
Personally, I believe you are a great technician, I have not ONCE put that into question. But even if you beat me or I beat you, that wouldn’t decide who the best rookie of 2003 was. You didn’t have to face people like Maelstrom, Manson, GUNS, or Jean Rabesque over the last year and aren’t as banged up as I am. The champion of your league was a lower card wrestler from both the GXW and WFW. The facts are the facts.
Now since you want to talk about Jasper Carrot, lets talk about Jasper Carrot. Personally I’d rather talk about his daughter on The Office, but you are a Jasper man so Jasper it is. Jasper Carrot was nominated in 2003 for the BBC’s Great Midlander along side William Shakespeare, great scientists, composers, and footballers who left their mark on the United Kingdom. The man is funny but he gets a bad reputation because he doesn’t pull any punches when he makes fun of society. That is what comedians do and have done since the dawn of time. So if you want to insult me by putting me in the same class as him and all of those other talented individuals, go ahead and I thank you in advance.
The young talent, as you refer to me instead of highly skilled technician, current leads in the NFW North in points over Manson, DC Stratton, Dan Ryan, Shawn Hart, Kin Hiroshi, and Christian Sands and ties me with Hornet in the South who many people consider the greatest wrestler who ever lived. Don’t dismiss me as “young” or “inexperienced” because I’m not from MCW or GXW, I like you Karl, I really do, but I promise you that I’ll slap that smile off your face if you make the same mistake as Sands.
Cheerio my good chap.
FTB
Last edited:
EpyonMarx
New member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2003
- Messages
- 1,004
- Points
- 0
- Location
- Nottingham, England
- Website
- www.karl-brown.co.uk
[FADE IN. Karl is sitting on a log by a river]
Karl: Finally, I get something of a decent level from Jonathan Marx. Talk about having to go until you’re blue in the face. Let me now offer a proper response to you, Jonathan.
I’m starting to get on your nerves? I’m not really all that interested in that. I merely acted in a way that would get your attention, because it seemed you were focusing too much on Christian in this match. Now, since I’ve gotten on your nerves a little, you should be in a position to focus more clearly on the two opponents, rather than just the one.
I called you a young talent, as I recall. That wasn’t to say you were inexperienced, because you’ve been around, seen and done more than I have so far. You simply are a young talent; you’re a good wrestler, but so far, nothing I have seen from you has made me think of you as highly as many people outside the business do. Granted, you’ve faced a lot of guys who are simply put better than anyone I’ve faced; but that doesn’t tell me anything either; everyone can have an off day. I don’t see anyone as being that dominant that they’re guaranteed a victory over anyone. Granted, Andrew Dalton, Mike Diamond, hell, even Sands, Daymon and Benjamin may not be considered up to the level of Maelstrom or Rabesque; but does that mean that you’re at a higher level than I am because you’ve faced them? Don’t confuse reputation with the match at hand. My reputation against Sands is that I’ve never lost to him; that doesn’t mean he won’t pin me in this match.
You are a good wrestler, a superb technician. I don’t doubt your skills; I don’t doubt the fact that any given day you could beat me. You seem to be thinking that the Rookie of the Year award you won means more than it does, though; it’s a simple award from one body. Why you felt the need to include it in your first promo against Sampson is beyond me. I mentioned against Diamond why I use the name “The Dragon,” because it’s a high honour rarely given. Come this time next year, will you be dragging out that trophy for another promo? I’m not making fun of you, because maybe you were the best rookie last year. But the point is, until you prove to me why you won it, I can’t take that honour as one hundred percent proof of your skills.
You then move on to Jasper Carrot. You mentioned his accomplishments last year; am I supposed to be impressed? Did you know he had a career before then? His career includes a hit single, “Funky Moped,” which sold on the basis of the B-Side, his “Magic Roundabout” sketch. He starred in “The Detectives.” He has many awards as a comedian, and last, but not least, he is one of a number I could have named. His humour isn’t the best, which is the point I was making. He’s a popular man from Birmingham, in the midlands. I could have used Bill Hicks or Billy Connelly, or I could have used Ricky Gervais, a man whose humour I find cringing. Maybe I made a mistake there? Not that it matters now; what is past is past, and cannot be undone.
Now, maybe you can tell me where I called you inexperienced? You have more experience in the ring than I do; to insult your experience is to insult myself. You are a young talent who will likely go very far in this business. I’m a young talent, and a few people expect me to rise through the ranks. Personally, if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t, and I end up doing something with my English Literature degree from UEA. Either way, I’ll give it all I have. And I hope you will too, because a technician like yourself should go far. That’s should; not will.
So, what do I have left to say to you now? Only good luck, Jonathan, and may the best man win. And thanks for actually giving me the time of day this time.
[Karl sighs, turning to look across the river]
Karl: And good luck to you too, Christian. Skills alone are never enough to win, so good luck.
[FADE OUT]
Karl: Finally, I get something of a decent level from Jonathan Marx. Talk about having to go until you’re blue in the face. Let me now offer a proper response to you, Jonathan.
I’m starting to get on your nerves? I’m not really all that interested in that. I merely acted in a way that would get your attention, because it seemed you were focusing too much on Christian in this match. Now, since I’ve gotten on your nerves a little, you should be in a position to focus more clearly on the two opponents, rather than just the one.
I called you a young talent, as I recall. That wasn’t to say you were inexperienced, because you’ve been around, seen and done more than I have so far. You simply are a young talent; you’re a good wrestler, but so far, nothing I have seen from you has made me think of you as highly as many people outside the business do. Granted, you’ve faced a lot of guys who are simply put better than anyone I’ve faced; but that doesn’t tell me anything either; everyone can have an off day. I don’t see anyone as being that dominant that they’re guaranteed a victory over anyone. Granted, Andrew Dalton, Mike Diamond, hell, even Sands, Daymon and Benjamin may not be considered up to the level of Maelstrom or Rabesque; but does that mean that you’re at a higher level than I am because you’ve faced them? Don’t confuse reputation with the match at hand. My reputation against Sands is that I’ve never lost to him; that doesn’t mean he won’t pin me in this match.
You are a good wrestler, a superb technician. I don’t doubt your skills; I don’t doubt the fact that any given day you could beat me. You seem to be thinking that the Rookie of the Year award you won means more than it does, though; it’s a simple award from one body. Why you felt the need to include it in your first promo against Sampson is beyond me. I mentioned against Diamond why I use the name “The Dragon,” because it’s a high honour rarely given. Come this time next year, will you be dragging out that trophy for another promo? I’m not making fun of you, because maybe you were the best rookie last year. But the point is, until you prove to me why you won it, I can’t take that honour as one hundred percent proof of your skills.
You then move on to Jasper Carrot. You mentioned his accomplishments last year; am I supposed to be impressed? Did you know he had a career before then? His career includes a hit single, “Funky Moped,” which sold on the basis of the B-Side, his “Magic Roundabout” sketch. He starred in “The Detectives.” He has many awards as a comedian, and last, but not least, he is one of a number I could have named. His humour isn’t the best, which is the point I was making. He’s a popular man from Birmingham, in the midlands. I could have used Bill Hicks or Billy Connelly, or I could have used Ricky Gervais, a man whose humour I find cringing. Maybe I made a mistake there? Not that it matters now; what is past is past, and cannot be undone.
Now, maybe you can tell me where I called you inexperienced? You have more experience in the ring than I do; to insult your experience is to insult myself. You are a young talent who will likely go very far in this business. I’m a young talent, and a few people expect me to rise through the ranks. Personally, if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t, and I end up doing something with my English Literature degree from UEA. Either way, I’ll give it all I have. And I hope you will too, because a technician like yourself should go far. That’s should; not will.
So, what do I have left to say to you now? Only good luck, Jonathan, and may the best man win. And thanks for actually giving me the time of day this time.
[Karl sighs, turning to look across the river]
Karl: And good luck to you too, Christian. Skills alone are never enough to win, so good luck.
[FADE OUT]
JABolich
League Member
(FADEIN: The training room in CHRISTIAN SANDS' estate. SANDS sits on a steel chair in the middle of an empty ring, wearing his trademark black trenchcoat over his ring attire.)
Sands: My, my, the names are dropping left and right, aren't they, Jonathan?
Rabesque, Manson, GUNS, Hornet... am I supposed to be impressed by these names, Jon Boy? Am I supposed to capitulate and cower in fear because you've wrestled people? Sorry, son... I'm not moved in the least, partially because I've got my own list of accomplishments. I could sink to your level and drop a few names, but no... I prefer to stay safely above your level of banality.
I love how you're judging me based on a list of random moves I posted with my company bio... and giving me an assessment based on that of how bad my strategy is. First off, I count at least eight moves on that list that affect the neck or the back and neck simultaneously. Second, if you think that all I'm going to hit you with are the moves on that list, you have absolutely no chance of survival, because you honestly have no idea how deep my arsenal can get.
I'M making a mistake? Oh no, my friend - I think you're the one in that boat here. In fact, it seems to me that I'm the only one here doing what he's supposed to be doing. While you're sitting there dragooning my naïve little friend Karl into a debate over satire and British comedy, I've been training and thinking about what's going to happen in the ring - which is, after all, what matters. Isn't it? Unless someone's changed the stipulations and made this a Whose Line Is It Anyway match. Best improv wins!
Cut the crap, Marx. Your pseudo-intellectual bullsh*t is impressing nobody. I'm starting to get sick of sitting here listening to you dodge issue after issue without saying anything of note.
I'm not a man who takes your breed of foolishness seriously. I do, however, enjoy putting fools in their place - that is, far beneath me. It's a given that my talent is far in excess of yours and my mentality and drive are unparalleled. Ask Rocko Daymon. He thought he was more driven than me, and he wound up getting pinned twice in the space of a couple minutes. He'll deny it, of course, but the truth is quite apparent. I live this sport, and I don't have time to discuss stupid frivolities like Jasper Carrot and nationalism when there's a match at stake.
As for you, Karl - Respectful as always. Good man, but here's a piece of advice. Don't let Marx distract you with his small-talk. Every time you stop to discuss philosophy or comedy or culture with him you're doing exactly what he wants you to do. Most of what he says is irrelevant. Treat it as such and concentrate on what matters. Do you really think it's important to engage in a serious discussion about the career of this or that comedian?
You're right in saying that skill alone doesn't win a match. Fortunately, in that respect I have something over both you and Marx. In Jon's case, there's the fact that I eschew trivialties and concentrate on what's really important. In your case, there's your "another opportunity will come" mentality.
I'm not saying you're wrong about that, because as far as I'm concerned you have all the tools to become a big star in the future. However, as I've said, my time is now, and my mentality reflects that. I of all people know that opportunities come and go in the wrestling business. For all I know I might never get this sort of shot again. That, Karl, is why I've come to treat every opportunity to succeed as if it were a one-shot deal, and that's exactly the mindset I'm going into this match with.
I have a great amount of respect for you, Karl, and it takes a man of substance to earn my respect. However, I have no qualms about taking you out of contention should you stand in my way.
Because I am the Future.
And the Future is now.
Goodnight, gentlemen.
(FADEOUT)
Sands: My, my, the names are dropping left and right, aren't they, Jonathan?
Rabesque, Manson, GUNS, Hornet... am I supposed to be impressed by these names, Jon Boy? Am I supposed to capitulate and cower in fear because you've wrestled people? Sorry, son... I'm not moved in the least, partially because I've got my own list of accomplishments. I could sink to your level and drop a few names, but no... I prefer to stay safely above your level of banality.
I love how you're judging me based on a list of random moves I posted with my company bio... and giving me an assessment based on that of how bad my strategy is. First off, I count at least eight moves on that list that affect the neck or the back and neck simultaneously. Second, if you think that all I'm going to hit you with are the moves on that list, you have absolutely no chance of survival, because you honestly have no idea how deep my arsenal can get.
I'M making a mistake? Oh no, my friend - I think you're the one in that boat here. In fact, it seems to me that I'm the only one here doing what he's supposed to be doing. While you're sitting there dragooning my naïve little friend Karl into a debate over satire and British comedy, I've been training and thinking about what's going to happen in the ring - which is, after all, what matters. Isn't it? Unless someone's changed the stipulations and made this a Whose Line Is It Anyway match. Best improv wins!
Cut the crap, Marx. Your pseudo-intellectual bullsh*t is impressing nobody. I'm starting to get sick of sitting here listening to you dodge issue after issue without saying anything of note.
I'm not a man who takes your breed of foolishness seriously. I do, however, enjoy putting fools in their place - that is, far beneath me. It's a given that my talent is far in excess of yours and my mentality and drive are unparalleled. Ask Rocko Daymon. He thought he was more driven than me, and he wound up getting pinned twice in the space of a couple minutes. He'll deny it, of course, but the truth is quite apparent. I live this sport, and I don't have time to discuss stupid frivolities like Jasper Carrot and nationalism when there's a match at stake.
As for you, Karl - Respectful as always. Good man, but here's a piece of advice. Don't let Marx distract you with his small-talk. Every time you stop to discuss philosophy or comedy or culture with him you're doing exactly what he wants you to do. Most of what he says is irrelevant. Treat it as such and concentrate on what matters. Do you really think it's important to engage in a serious discussion about the career of this or that comedian?
You're right in saying that skill alone doesn't win a match. Fortunately, in that respect I have something over both you and Marx. In Jon's case, there's the fact that I eschew trivialties and concentrate on what's really important. In your case, there's your "another opportunity will come" mentality.
I'm not saying you're wrong about that, because as far as I'm concerned you have all the tools to become a big star in the future. However, as I've said, my time is now, and my mentality reflects that. I of all people know that opportunities come and go in the wrestling business. For all I know I might never get this sort of shot again. That, Karl, is why I've come to treat every opportunity to succeed as if it were a one-shot deal, and that's exactly the mindset I'm going into this match with.
I have a great amount of respect for you, Karl, and it takes a man of substance to earn my respect. However, I have no qualms about taking you out of contention should you stand in my way.
Because I am the Future.
And the Future is now.
Goodnight, gentlemen.
(FADEOUT)
EpyonMarx
New member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2003
- Messages
- 1,004
- Points
- 0
- Location
- Nottingham, England
- Website
- www.karl-brown.co.uk
Three men, only one path
[FADE IN. Karl is sitting in a sauna after training; the steam is quite thick, so the camera zooms in a to show the top of his chest and head]
Karl: Sound advice Christian; I’d nearly fallen for the trap and gotten my thoughts off this match. Thanks for the reminder. Still, it has given me an insight into Jonathan’s personality, so all in all, it has been a useful experience. And it hasn’t distracted me from my training, so really, there’s no major harm done.
Now, there isn’t all that much to say that hasn’t been said before. The match is in a few days, and this one’s been heavily hyped up now, hasn’t it? What can I say? There are, however, still a couple of points that need addressing.
Christian, I’m glad we haven’t ended up in our usual accusation and counter-accusation pattern of “Your promo’s are generic,” “No, yours are.” It has made for a more interesting discussion this time. But you seem to be stuck in a rut; you feel that there is the possibility that this might be your last chance; there’s every chance of that, if I remember what you said. For a man of your talent, I see this as one of many opportunities. In the event you don’t make it this time, then you know what you have to do; start on the path again. Every single person in this tournament wants to win it; the title and the honour are alluring prizes, but I do not see one name which won’t someday, if they work hard enough, find themselves with this opportunity again somewhere down the line. Success in this industry is partially luck, yes; but if you work hard enough, then opportunities will present themselves again. I’m confident enough in my own abilities to know that, even if I don’t win this time, I can start at the foot of the mountain and climb it again. You, Christian, know better than anyone else in this business that I don’t see defeat as an end, but as a minor stumbling block. A minor obstacle which I’ll move round and continue on my path. I may lose my way sometimes, but the goal will always be visible.
For a man with your skills, Christian, you will find other opportunities should this one prove not to be yours for the taking. And I know you well enough to know you’ll make it some day. And I’ll be there to try and knock you off the perch when you do.
[Karl laughs lightly to himself, leaning closer to the camera]
Karl: Christian, Jonathan, this one match has the chance to outstrip any other. Thee highly skilled technicians are ready for battle. The result, as far as I’m concerned, is too close to call. One slip up from any of us will find that person knocked out of this tournament. Who is going to be that one person out of the three of us whose hopes in this tournament are ended prematurely? We shall have to wait and see, won’t we?
Good luck to all of us
[Karl starts to hum Jasper Carrot’s “Funky Moped” song, as we FADE OUT]
[FADE IN. Karl is sitting in a sauna after training; the steam is quite thick, so the camera zooms in a to show the top of his chest and head]
Karl: Sound advice Christian; I’d nearly fallen for the trap and gotten my thoughts off this match. Thanks for the reminder. Still, it has given me an insight into Jonathan’s personality, so all in all, it has been a useful experience. And it hasn’t distracted me from my training, so really, there’s no major harm done.
Now, there isn’t all that much to say that hasn’t been said before. The match is in a few days, and this one’s been heavily hyped up now, hasn’t it? What can I say? There are, however, still a couple of points that need addressing.
Christian, I’m glad we haven’t ended up in our usual accusation and counter-accusation pattern of “Your promo’s are generic,” “No, yours are.” It has made for a more interesting discussion this time. But you seem to be stuck in a rut; you feel that there is the possibility that this might be your last chance; there’s every chance of that, if I remember what you said. For a man of your talent, I see this as one of many opportunities. In the event you don’t make it this time, then you know what you have to do; start on the path again. Every single person in this tournament wants to win it; the title and the honour are alluring prizes, but I do not see one name which won’t someday, if they work hard enough, find themselves with this opportunity again somewhere down the line. Success in this industry is partially luck, yes; but if you work hard enough, then opportunities will present themselves again. I’m confident enough in my own abilities to know that, even if I don’t win this time, I can start at the foot of the mountain and climb it again. You, Christian, know better than anyone else in this business that I don’t see defeat as an end, but as a minor stumbling block. A minor obstacle which I’ll move round and continue on my path. I may lose my way sometimes, but the goal will always be visible.
For a man with your skills, Christian, you will find other opportunities should this one prove not to be yours for the taking. And I know you well enough to know you’ll make it some day. And I’ll be there to try and knock you off the perch when you do.
[Karl laughs lightly to himself, leaning closer to the camera]
Karl: Christian, Jonathan, this one match has the chance to outstrip any other. Thee highly skilled technicians are ready for battle. The result, as far as I’m concerned, is too close to call. One slip up from any of us will find that person knocked out of this tournament. Who is going to be that one person out of the three of us whose hopes in this tournament are ended prematurely? We shall have to wait and see, won’t we?
Good luck to all of us
[Karl starts to hum Jasper Carrot’s “Funky Moped” song, as we FADE OUT]