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Cross vs. Lance

N

NCross

Guest
(Nathan Cross is sitting on the edge of an old wrestling ring, the same one that he’s been training in recently. His body is glistening under the lights from his sweat. He looks at the camera and begins, his eyes having that youthful twinkle that people have noticed his whole life.)

NC: I won't pin you... I won't knock you cold...and I won't get you to tap... or get you disqualified or counted out. It looks like you've covered all your bases there. I can't win this one. If you say so, 'dude'. But here's what I think.

(Cross pushes off of the apron and lands on the ground. He begins walking through the gym.)

NC: 3 seconds, 'dude'. That's all it takes to take your words and shove them down your throat. One bad move on your part, and you could take a fall that would make you feel like you just starred in one of Tony Hawk's "skating bloopers" videos. And as you lay there, the ref can count to 10 seconds... 20 seconds... and then give you a 5 minute turnaround to the ER. One move from me could leave you tied up in a knot with no where to go. You can hold on forever, if you wish, it's your body... but don't blame me when you can't do the things you truly love...playing the drums or skating.

(Cross has made it to the locker room. He opens the door and wrinkles his nose in disgust. He makes his way through the lockerroom.)

NC: And that's the reason I think I can finish this match, because you don't love this. Sure, at 5 you stepped between the ropes to face Winnie the Pooh, but I'm not one of your imaginary wrestlers & you’re not Christopher Robin. Really cool, “dude”, that you used to toss around your stuffed animals like they were Ric Flair. I'm sure that your teddy bear club had quite the feud going. But I ain't a teddy bear... and this certainly ain't the fair. (OORP: For all the Eddy Love Lovers out there :))

(Cross gets into his locker)

NC: I don't see the love, Lance. You don't HAVE to do this. If the CSWA fires you, then you can go on playing gigs and taking long skates off short piers. The money is there to catch you when you fall. The passion can go on to whatever strikes your fancy next. I HAVE nothing else. I don't have a mansion to go to. I don't even have a studio apartment to rest. This is my ticket out... YOU are my ticket out. We’ll tie up, and you’ll do well… Man, you’ll do great! You’ll put on a show, and THAT is half the battle for me. But no one has seen my show to date… unless you count me showing off my “patented right hands”. You WON’T go down to a schoolboy. You ‘probably’ (sarcasm noted) won’t go down to my aforementioned right hands. But in Charleston, “dude” you ARE going down.

(After getting his stuff, Nate makes his way toward the shower, turning from the camera.)

NC: And what the heck does “thrashed” mean anyway…

(Nate turns back to the camera.)

NC: …“Dude”?

CUT
 

JBooher

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
43
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0
Age
39
Location
Mayflower, Arkansas
Poor Cross...

Ya' just don't FEEL the LOVE do ya'?!

No pun intended...

**Fade in...

Lance is relaxin on his LUXURIOUS, white love seat clad in blue-jean shorts and a black tank top with a white skull in the center of it. He has one arm resting on the arm of the couch and the other stroking his long goatee. A smirk is hard-pressed on Lance's face as he looks directly into the camera.**


Lance: (Still stroking his goatee) DUDE!!! Like, no way, DUDE? You don't say??

**Lance rolls his eyes**

Lance: The dictionary defines a "thrashing" as a sound beating or whipping. Good enough for ya'? Well, that's what you're in store for at ON TIME.

Look, I know you're new and you're going to try to establish you "place" here in the CSWA, and if you think you're gonna find your place against me... it's gonna back face-up, flat on your back in the center of the ring.

If you count on making me your "ticket" then I'm sure as hell gonna rip it up.

C'mon... keep making metaphors out of me, and I'll keep turning them down for you. Because whether you think it or not... ON TIME... yeah... you're going down, big guy.

I mean... c'mon, *I* can be Nathan Cross.

**Lance stands up from the couch turns around then pulls the cushions out of the couch revealing a pull-out bed. Lance opens the bed up then climbs on top of it as if it were a ring... standing tall**

Lance: (wiping eyes) whaa!! Whaa!!! whine... moan... complain. Lance Liezure it my meal ticket... I don't EAT if I don't BEAT him!! I guess I can go back to enjoying my cardboard box outside on the corner of 5th and Main because I'm gonna have to stay there for the rest of my CSWA career since I'll never amount to (BEEP)!

**He then jumps down from the couch and takes a seat at the edge of the bed... once again relaxing.**

Lance: So, enjoy the ride while it lasts, boy, because if you ARE putting all your marbles on beating me at ON TIME...

Then you're a couple of rocks short of a set.

So have fun making your little threats, then in Charleston we'll see who has to eat their words...

**Lance signals for the camera to be shut off. We then see Jessie's hand give Lance a "rock on" sign as we...

Fade to Black!!!**
 
N

NCross

Guest
RE: Poor Cross...

(Nate is in an alley. A cardboard box sits behind him, decorated with a painted on white picket fence. Nate looks up to the camera, displays his house for the camera. His face screams, "take a look at my home. So what." He doesn't bother to respond in any other way.)

Whoa, dude... I haven't seen you that fired up since... well, since you busted the head of your snare drum. I guess we got ourselves a fight, then. (Nate Grins)

First off, "dude", I want to thank you for looking up "thrashing", but your circa 1989 edition is a bit dated. Thrashing, according to the latest information, has a few meanings. Now, I wasn't all that great in grammar school and I plain ole' sucked in high school. But I think I can explain this for you.:

"To beat with or as if with a flail, especially as a punishment."

Now, "dude", what you and Jessie do in your 'off time' is exactly that... what you and JESSIE do. You start bringing that crap in the ring and I'm gonna have to bail on this bout. Those people in Charleston didn't pay good money to see your particular form of entertainment. Not to sound stupid, but ... uh, your Jessie's last name wouldn't be "Soloman" would it? (OORP: For those with TRULY great CSWA memories) If so, that explains your fascination with 'punishment'. Just make sure you wash your hands before we tie up. I wouldn't want to catch any diseases.

"To swing or strike in a manner suggesting the action of a flail: example is - The alligator thrashed its tail."

In my mind, I have spent the last few hours wondering exactly how many of my "famous right hand" punches I can land while you flail around the ring like a freakin' windmill.

"To defeat utterly; vanquish."

Would this be what you are going for? You wish to 'vanquish' me? To get rid of the whiner Nate Cross? (Nate Grins) I hope so, cause this "whiner" would like nothing better than to see you try. Put on a show, 'dude', and it'll make this all the more sweeter.

"To thresh."

You ain't no farmer. I ain't wheat. Nuff said.

And if you'd like to move into the truly modern versions of the word, it also can be used in reference to "slam dancing"... that can be arranged. As well as computers that do a lot of work, but don't accomplish anything due to an overload.

And "dude", that's you in a nutshell. You don't have focus, you don't have drive, and you've not fought for ANYTHING that didn't come easily to you. You'll pack. You'll run. You'll leave this gig because you can always do something else. You might like wrestling. But I AM Wrestling. You might have a future... in the X-Games, but this IS my future. I didn't come to the CSWA because I thought it'd be fun for a few laughs... something to tell my grandkids about. I came to be a champion, period. These people in Charleston will remember me. And they'll remember you, as the 'dude' that uselessly thrashed about while I took one step closer to my goal.

(Nate picked up the cardboard box, tossed it aside, and opened a metal door. As the door closed, you see the name spraypainted on it. "Doug's Gym")
 
N

NCross

Guest
RE: Poor Cross...

OORP: I remember Soloman making comments about how he (I did not make this up) masturbated... I think it was a match w/ Deacon. Something about the church being against it and since he does it, that puts him against Deacon (or something like that). I remember it striking me as odd, because normally FW guys would never have their characters say they did that. Sometimes the strangest things can define a character in your mind, huh?
 

JBooher

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
43
Points
0
Age
39
Location
Mayflower, Arkansas
Ya' HAD to do it.

**Fade in...

Lance still sitting on his out-stretched love seat. The same skull wifebeater. The same blue jean shorts. Even, still stroking his goatee with the other arm on the arm of the couch. Pretty much the same since we last saw Lance.**


Lance: You just HAD to bust out the gay jokes didn't ya'? I thought we could keep this civil, but poor, little Cross just couldn't do it. You even pulled a "Powers" threatening to run like the scared, "wittle" girl you are. (Lance smirks}

Oh yeah... I heard another one of your little "associations" in there too.

**Lance picks up a remote and quickly rewinds Nate's promo**

"But I AM Wrestling. You might have a future... in the X-Games, but this IS my future..."

I can ruin this one, too... Hang on a sec... lemme think...

I got it...

Four words...

YOUR FUTURE IS BLEAK!

**Lance laughs**

But thanks for the compliment, I didn't know you admired my skating skills just so much. I really didn't think of persuing that career, but since you think so highly of my skater skills, after I'm done kicking you all... no wait... THRASHING you all around Charleston, I just might think of entering.

Don't get too excited, though, I don't mean this "THRASHING" in that oh so gay way you so dearly wish it to be. I'd have to day the "slam-dancing" definition best suits the way I'm using the word. Because you will be slamed from one corner of the ring to another. After that, I just might think about taking that opening in the X-Games since, ya' know, you think my skills are SO great!

But seriously now... no more put-downs, no more witty comments... I'll put it straight-forward for ya'... speaking of straight... you're not...wait... no... nevermind... no more witty comments.

Anyways, I'll lay it out for you.... very tempting but no...

OK, seriously now, come ON TIME you will have your ass handed to you on a silver platter. So, therefore, I will be doing you and me a favor because I will have backed up my words and layed one hell of a beating on you like I said I would... then you can take that silver platter and go hawk it and buy yourself something nice with it. Maybe you could get enough to go buy yourself your own World Title belt. That way we both win... I move up with ANOTHER decisive win, and you get to be the "Champion" you've always desired to be... well at least in your mind anyway.

OK, nevermind. I can't stop making jokes... ha! Wonder why?

**Looks down calmly.**

Hmm...

And on a final note, I do like one definition that you came up with... and now I realize why I chose "THRASHING" as my "catchphrase"...

"To defeat utterly; vanquish."

I like that... vanquish. And you're right... at ON TIME... (In a Greek accent) This Lance will VANQUISH you!!

**Lance raises his arm back as if he were swinging a sword then "slashes" it forward a couple of times, all the while smiling as we...

...Fade to Black!!!**
 

JBooher

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
43
Points
0
Age
39
Location
Mayflower, Arkansas
RE: Poor Cross...

OORP: By the way, Mike, on a quick note... have you noticed that your thing is at 188 posts! Good lord, boy... you talk TOO much!

:)

John
 
N

NCross

Guest
Yep, I HAD to

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Sep-06-02 AT 11:34 PM (EDT)](Open to the tail end (OORP: To steal your line - No, I won't go there :)) of the Lance Liezure promo. We see:

**Lance raises his arm back as if he were swinging a sword then "slashes" it forward a couple of times.

____________________________________________________


(Cut to Nathan Cross who rolls his eyes, shakes his head, and then begins.)

NC: And I thought I was green. That little "thrashing sword" action you gave at the end ranks up there with the greatest "hand jives" in the history of wrestling.

(Nate turns to the camera, standing straight up so he can do his little "jive dance")

We have the (Nate does the DX 'suck it' routine) Crotch Cross ,(DDP) the diamond, the (4 horseman sign) 4 finger sign of excellence, & the ever popular 1 finger salute (With a smile, Nate drops 3 of those fingers, leaving the middle finger flying high for the camera. He drops his hands and then continues.). As if these aren't enough, you go and add the "thrashing vanquishing sword" hand jive. 'Dude', I believe everyone in Charleston will be backing you with that bad boy.

Now, I didn't HAVE to break out the gay jokes, but when Jesse Soloman makes his long awaited return to the ring, the wrestling ring... not the hemorroid. Someone has to stand up and take notice. From all that I remember, Jessie had some quality matchups. I hope you let him out of his dog collar leash to continue that career.

And before you go over the "Nate is hitting below the belt", perhaps we should back up a bit. I started by hoping that I had a champion. I KNOW that you'll bring plenty more than "Schoolboy" Jones. We WILL put on the show, that much is true. To my request of you putting on a show, ... you said, "I CAN'T pin you. I WON'T pin you."

(Nate looks down, shakes his head, and then continues.)

And then in TRULY great taste, you decided to imitate me.

_________________________________________________________

(We cut back to Lance Liezure doing his earlier imitation.)

**Lance stands up from the couch turns around then pulls the cushions out of the couch revealing a pull-out bed. Lance opens the bed up then climbs on top of it as if it were a ring... standing tall**

Lance: (wiping eyes) whaa!! Whaa!!! whine... moan... complain. Lance Liezure it my meal ticket... I don't EAT if I don't BEAT him!! I guess I can go back to enjoying my cardboard box outside on the corner of 5th and Main because I'm gonna have to stay there for the rest of my CSWA career since I'll never amount to (BEEP)!

__________________________________________________________

(Back to Nate)

NC: You tried to imitate me, and you didn't even have the COMMON DECENCY TO BE FUNNY WHEN YOU DID IT! I mean, is that ALL you could come up with? I know that you're facing Kevin Powers, one of the TRULY great imitators in the world of pro wrestling. But if you steal his 'thing', at least have the decency to DO IT WELL! You went below the belt, "dude", and you did it in the MOST UN-enterTAINING way. And to me, THAT is a cardinal sin, because EVERYTHING we do to build up to this matchup had better be solid.

I said when I came here, and I'll say it again... I'm here to make these fans remember me. If they remember us when we walk out to the ring, or in your case... skate out to the ring, then when we lock it up... well, they'll push ME to levels I've never dreamed. And I hope they push you there as well.

Lance, I'm not happy with just pinning you, though I must admit a schoolboy victory over you WOULD be funny. But I don't expect it. In fact, I don't expect anything but an entertaining match of the highest level. You'll deliver your "thrashing", and I'll keep getting up... and up... and up again. And Each time I rise, the fans will rise with me. By the time we hit the end of the match, those fans WILL be talking! Actually, they'll be HOARSE from screaming. And then, we'll have a winner - me.

You want to know how I know? Because I AM wrestling... this is my life... my goal. And you, like I've said all along - this is just another distraction... 'dude'.

(Cut to commercial)
 

JBooher

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
43
Points
0
Age
39
Location
Mayflower, Arkansas
Salvation

Over and over again...

Salvation!!

**Fade in...

Lance is sitting on the cold floor of his studio basement directly behind his drumset. It's been a couple of days since we last heard from Lance. (OORP Note: Too much college hit me at too little time.) He's now clad in simply just a pair of green pants and black boots, his normal wrestling attire. He has his black wifebeater in one hand wiping sweat off of his forehead. It seems like he has just finished training for his match against Nathan Cross... in his studio?? Jessie comes in from the other room.**


Jessie: Did you like that mix, dude, or should we try to record it again... or maybe mix it up differently?

Lance: No, there wasn't enough snare in there. I think I need to adjust my mics. We'll just re-do it here in a minute. I need rest... I've recorded EVERY SINGLE ONE of our songs over the past few days until finally... FINALLY they're perfect... give me a minute, man. (Lance laughs)

**Nevermind, he just finished laying down drum tracks for another one of their songs.**

Lance: (looking into the camera) Wait... is this thing on?

Jessie: Oh damn. Yep it's on. Guess I must've hit the button while I was equalizing out the mixer.

Lance: Ah well. I guess since I'm here I might as well say something to "good ole' Nate" while I've got the time.

(Lance looks directly into the camera again) Hey... how's it goin'? Going good? That's good.

But seriously, Nate, how could you compete with this!

**Lance stands up and flexes one of his medium size muscles while flexing his stomach and showing off a full-figured 6-pack.**

No doubt I'm in shape. I'm on the top of my game right now, Nathan, and bet that I'm sure gonna be once I get to Charleston. You can make all your "gay jokes" all you want right now, but when we get to Charleston... we'll see just who the BITCH is!

I'm glad you did like my parody of you. But to clarify, it wasn't meant to be funny... you aren't funny... hell, you aren't even very interesting. (Lance smirks.) I am glad you liked it, though. It was all for you there, buddy. As for Kevin Powers, he can make a good impersonation... of a vegetable when I'm done with him at PrimeTime! (Another smirk comes across Lance's face.) Yet, while we're on it... who are YOU to tell ME what to do?? "Ohhh... everything you do had better be solid going into this match!" Well, you could get all of that homosexual repression out on what I have which is VERY solid. I mean, trust me though, fans WILL remember you... you will go down in history... as the man who Lance Liezure MURDERED in the ring at ON TIME. You will go down in history as getting the most hella bad-ass beating courtesy of yours truly.

I respect you, kid, I really do. I think you can make it, but you certainly won't make it when you get in my way. You can bring all you've got at ON TIME but it won't be good enough to stop you from getting the THRASHING of a lifetime... that's right I said THRASHING of a lifetime!! Enjoy it, buddy, because I know I will enough it very much pounding you from corner to corner. Reversing those "patented right hands" with some of Lance Liezure's devastating, destructing, eeeeeevil, calculating, and just downright badass right hands! So, bring those gay jokes and homosexual repressio...no wait don't... I don't want that in the ring with me. You'd definately win then... by countout because I would SURE get the hell out of there QUICK!

But disregard that because I'm pretty sur...well, I don't think you're a homosexual, and the fact that I will NOT lose at ON TIME. So keep the talk up, Natey, and I hope you can back it up in Charleston and WOW the fans with your amazing aerial assault because Lance Liezure...will bring... the BATTERY!

**Lance sits back down at the drumset and picks up his sticks, but wait... he's not done.**

Lance: Oh yeah... and I almost forgot... I can do this too!

**Lance sticks his middle finger directly into the camera before spinning it around into the "rock on" guesture which he has become accustom to.**

Jessie: (Impatient) You done so we can finish this track??

Lance: Alright. Alright. Don't blow a gasket. I got this!

**Jessie rolls his eyes then walks into the sound room and starts up the track as Lance begins to drum as sing at the same time.

I'm astounded.

I can't believe I have finally found it...

...Fading out as we...

...Fade to Black!!!**
 

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