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DEFtv 49 is Live! Feedback Thread!

CraigM

Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2007
Messages
351
Points
16
Age
38
http://www.defiancewrestling.com/results/96

Check it out! And then leave some feedback!

What did we do right?

What did we do wrong?

Match of the Night?

Segment of the Night?

Top Face of the Night?

Top Heel of the Night?

On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?

Favorite Quotes?

Mark-Out Moments?

How was the overall reading experience?
 

Jonathan Todd

New member
Joined
Apr 15, 2012
Messages
249
Points
0
What did we do right?
We got Ken to write the Main Event and it was awesome!

What did we do wrong?
Card was stellar, matches were good, segments fit in where they were placed. Not too much in the wrong category.

Match of the Night?

I enjoyed the ME.

Segment of the Night?

I liked the Box Ty segment. But I mark out for Ty all the times. So I'll the segment with Noble, Kels, and Ty.

Top Face of the Night?
L.T. her promo's were spot on and beating the God-Beast helps the cause.

Top Heel of the Night?
Box, just Box


On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
Henry Keyes, like Curtis Penn just needs that one good feud to get him there.

Favorite Quotes?
There were too many: we gave out a pink slip, mocked Damien for not writing an entrance and congratulated him for writing the match, and Mayweather jokes. But my favorite was from KEN that happened to involve my character because it describes him correctly.

DDK:
Not quite a two count on that one, but still, Holiday has managed to control the match since the opening bell and Penn has not been able to get any traction at all.
Angus:
It’s hard to get any traction when you’re a slimy piece of human garbage!




 

Ulfric

League Member
Joined
Aug 23, 2012
Messages
197
Points
0
What did we do right? All of it flowed together very well, I think the segments were exciting, interesting and entertaining, while the matches were wonderfully done. The card read like TV, heavy on the visuals which I always enjoy.

What did we do wrong? Ummm, nothing comes to mind, I felt like everything had a place and fit well, interactions are growing, characters are really starting to take off and grow. So no, nothing wrong.

Match of the Night? The main event was AMAZING!!!!!!

Segment of the Night? Mama said knock you out. I actually feel like someone needs to stand up for Lance, he needs a bodyguard for something after slapping the taste outta Sam T 2’s mouth. I also loved the segment with Box and Ty, I’m just waiting for those two to go at it. Ty going all protective over his woman and Box just being, well, Boy. Loved that line about the Team Danger bat signal.

Top Face of the Night? Lindsay Troy

Top Heel of the Night? Mushi

On the Bubble / Who is about to break out? Keyes, David Nobel, and Mushi.

Favorite Quotes?
Tyrone Walker:
The HALE?!
[Kelly doesn’t even look up from her papers.]
Kelly Evans:
What’s wrong?
Tyrone Walker:
This is some facken bolshet. I mean, are you serious?!
Kelly Evans:
What are you going on about?
Tyrone Walker:
They made Iceman gay!


Mark-Out Moments? David Noble coming into Kelly’s pleasure dome and doing his whole metaphorical dick dropping thing, then making his intentions towards Mushi known while also getting some verbal licks in on ST2

How was the overall reading experience? Like I said earlier, I love the way it flows, for me it was a relaxing, fun, comfortable read. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
 

Damien

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2012
Messages
515
Points
16
OK, it's about time Feedback was posted from more than 2 people.


The Run-Down/Lucky
Like I said last week, I’m having so much fun exploring the heel side of Eugene. Again, all of this felt natural and all of it just flowed out. For the rest of it, this tourney has given me a chance to work against two wrestlers that I’ve wanted to write singles matches with and have segments with for some time, so I’m pretty sure that DEF*MAX is totes amazeballs.

These Backstage Areas Are Safe For No Man
Mushi getting a beast push right now is only good, but this segment… It started off well and was nice a descriptive, but by the end of it it felt like… a list of stuff happening. “The mushi did this before doing then. Then mushi did this.” isn’t effective, and it certainly isn’t emotive and when the seg is so, so short… that kinda makes it fall flat for me.

Momma Said Knock Him Out
I’m not sold here. I always thought Lance wasn’t the kind to get physical, and certainly not one to stand there and be all sheepish about the abuse he’s taking. His Bio on the site definitely doesn’t paint him in that light.

Also, something else that has bugged me about Sam’s dialogue for some time is the swearing. I mean, there were 10 occurrences of Shit and Fuck combined in this seg. 2 Whores and a wanking reference in a pear tree.

I’m no prude, but it’s hard to take Sam seriously when his dialogue is littered with swearing to the extent that it is in this seg. Honestly, I’d like to see that toned down in the future.

DEF*MAX Tournament (Block B): David Noble vs. Samuel T. Turner
A good opneing match and a win that definitely makes sense. Sam gets riled up by Lance, he comes out and beats up his opponent, who despite being the SoHer champion, got beaten up by Mushi just moments earlier. Nothing much else to say about this. I just hope Noble gets some kind of revenge against Mushi a bit later on.

For Every Action
I want to make a joke about how a Dan Ryan segment is so rare it’s worthy of a masterball being thrown at it, but Dan’s been a lot more active in segs over the last couple of arcs. Still, it’s good to see Dan be Dan and cut a scathing promo.

Still, there’s gonna be retaliation to that. So I hope you’ve got your burn heal at the ready.

Agree To Disagree
I’m definitely enjoying this jaded Jake Donovan. It’s given him another dimension that he’s been lacking for some time. Obviously we’ve still not seen much of Kenny Freeman, so I’m still reserving judgement on him, but this is a nice introductory story for him which definitely has me watching.

Watch Yo’ Mouth
Any time Evan and James work together it’s gold. Seriously. Doesn’t matter who’s in it. Could be Dusty, Ty, Jane, Nicky, Boxer, it’s brilliant.

DEF*MAX Tournament (Block A): Eugene Dewey vs. Henry Keyes
This is a match I’ve wanted to write for some time and I enjoyed every minute of it.

New Followers
Straight off the bat it’s nice to see Malachi somewhere other than at the top of the card. That instantly makes him feel like more of a member of the DEFIANCE roster than just some curtain jerker.

Malachi is definitely getting fleshed out now, which is great, and I can totally imagine a segment like this on TV. Wheel in a couple of randoms to ‘induct’, attack one because why not and you’ve got segments 101. Good stuff.

Kings And Queens
See, this is why Mushi is so much more interesting than Troy Matthews. Eddie Dante has confidence, and Mushi has something that he can be confident about. Troy’s background is just… not something to be confident about. I know that’s been by design and down to his size, but he’s just so much more believable as a threat.

Good segment, and I can’t repeat enough how much I’m enjoying LT on her own.

Hook ‘Em Up
HA! Frank’s lack of punctuation on twitter is awesome.

I’m loving the length of segs in DEF right now. They’re all getting to the point and they’re not all 10 pages or more. It’s making the shows a lot more readable and a lot more enjoyable. As far as this one goes, it’s always good to see Ty, and combining him with Frank and Billy has to be good.

Lexi’s introduction has confused me greatly. At first I thought Noble was gonna steal her and she’d be some kinda lynchpin in Frank losing the SoHer title, but that never happened, now I’m wondering if she was brought in to get this storyline up and running, but I don’t think that was the case. Hopefully this has come out of that organically, and if that’s the case then I might not totally hate the Lexi angle.

Troy Matthews vs. Jake Donovan

  1. The match that I thought would end with one of the two guys that seem to never win picking up a win didn’t even happen
  2. Neither Jake nor Troy’s replacement picked up the win because it ended in a draw…
  3. I thought it was only tournament matches that had a 15 minute time limit.

A decent debut for Harmony, but I can’t shake the feeling of annoyance over points 1 and 3 above.

Second Chance
Personally, I don’t want to see Jake join with the Malachites. I also don’t want him to reject them and feud with Malachi, because that would be exactly like Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt, or John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt. Jake needs a new edge to his character, but it shouldn’t come from Malachi, and he shouldn’t remain in the status quo by refusing to join Malachi.

The thing going on with Kenny Freeman would be where I want to see Jake go. The disillusioned veteran indirectly influencing the rookie to feel disillusioned before he even starts. I like that. If Jake joined with Malachi then that story with Kenny is effectively out the window.

A Short Interlude
Holy shit Mushi is all over this show.

Ok, Mushi siding with Jane would be mental. Could you imagine Nicky and Mushi on the same side? They’d run amok.

DEF*MAX Tournament (Block A): Lindsay Troy vs. Mushigihara
Damn this match was a lot quicker than I thought it would be, especially after Boxer and Mushi went to a draw. It was good, don’t get me wrong, but I was definitely expecting something a little longer.

A Promise
I can see Noble in a Stone Cold-esque anti authority role. One man against the establishments kind of thing. The only problem is I’m pretty sure Kelly is designed to be an equal opportunity offender in the sense that she’s not on any side other than Eric Dane’s. She doesn’t favor anyone, so how can you rebel against that unless the issue was made personal?

Good Segment though. Noble has definitely transformed into someone I enjoy reading compared to how I felt about the character when he started.

Franks Counterpoints
Frank’s got some good points here, and I’m liking the fact that a lot of people have taken the PiP idea and twisted it around so that it’s not overplayed. Everyone seems to be getting their words in before their matches in one way or another and that’s a good thing.

DEF*MAX Tournament (Block B): Frank Holiday vs. Curtis Penn
One day I hope Curtis Penn’s list of nicknames is the longest part of the show.

Damn good match, and I absolutely love the cast that Penn is wearing. I hope he doesn’t lose that for… well, the rest of his career? Is that too much to ask?

The results tonight have kept this tournament wide open still in both brackets. But with four guys in Bracket B all on 2 points that one just couldn’t be closer. I want to give mad props to the planning of the tournament, because despite 2 weeks going by and us only having one person to have won 2 matches it doesn’t feel like the last 2 shows have been wasted. All results are believable and all results feels like they’ve meant something.
 

SenorJames

DEFIANT Grandpa
Joined
Jan 11, 2013
Messages
1,098
Points
0
Location
The Land of Cheese
THE RUNDOWN / LUCKY
Nice parting shot at Sean there in the rundown… Good opening segment here, hypes up a couple of matches later in the night, also gives Euge a chance to continue being a heel douche. It also gives a moment for LT and Keyez to stand toe to toe with the champ and look good in the process.

THESE BACKSTAGE AREAS ARE SAFE FOR NO MEN
Well… That was fucking rude on Mushi’s part.

MOMMA SAID KNOCK HIM OUT
This thing with Lance Warner better be going somewhere, because I don’t quite understand your need to have STT2 get physical with a mic stand. Otherwise, it’s solid heel work from Big Sam, just keep grinding and you’ll find your flow with it.

DEF*MAX - DAVID NOBLE v SAMUEL T. TURNER II
Love that Noble eats shit right off the bat, just takes a beating from STT2… Then he finally starts getting into the fight and we get the classic Ten Count Punch in the corner, which has been rarely seen, I just like old school stuff like that… Noble getting a brief run on offense before crashing and burning, the only thing I’d have changed is dropping the Turnbuckle Bomb and just having Turner scramble up and right as Noble gets up, he gets BLAMMO’d by the Harlan County Line (lariat). Otherwise, Craig doing what Craig does, writing solid, old fashion wrestling.

FOR EVERY ACTION
Classic Dan Ryan promo material, good stuff… Problem, he should have also been putting over his opponents in the rest of Block B and not focusing entirely on Eugene Dewey who is in Block A. Just saying.

AGREE TO DISAGREE
I have an idea where things are going, but until I see it starting to head in a specific direction, I don’t have much of an opinion on this.

WATCH YO’ MOUTH
Evan wrote this and does what he does, has fun with even the simplest idea that I fed him. He and I are really two sides of the same coin. On one side, Evan can do these segments and do a lot with them. While on the other side, I go all out on the writing of wrestling matches. I only added slight tweaks here and there, this was like 99 percent Evan. It’s not going to lead to something in the immediate, but down the way? There are definitely things percolating for the future.

DEF*MAX - EUGENE DEWEY v HENRY KEYES
Love this match. Everything from Euge playing the heel shenanigans, wanting to leave the match, working the arm, to Keyes working the tough sumbitch babyface act. I liked the old school use of the ring mats on the floor and how both of them jockied for the advantage to hit a move in that situation. It’s another good showing for Keyes, because he looks good against THE top guy in DEFIANCE, while also not making said top guy look weak at all... And that finish? Awesome, Euge ducking the BELL CLAP and just as Keyes stops selling the miss, he gets blasted with the Shoryuken. That’s good stuff right there.

NEW FOLLOWERS
This needs someone to be working with Malachi in the near future. I liked Angus’ continued devotion and the end bit about his own sins and how they shouldn’t mention his illicit behavior.

KINGS AND QUEENS
This was a fun pre-match segment. Not much more needs to be said.

HOOK ‘EM UP
Ken and I wrote this, it was fun. It was longer than expected, but we may have stuff that develops from this. (/sprawlarz)

TROY MATTHEWS v JAKE DONOVAN (v HARMONY)
I know where things are leading vis a vis Troy/Ryan, so no comment… Furthermore, you all realize now that you’ve made Angus’ infatuation with Harmony “canon” right? That’s gonna have to be a thing going forward, haha… Hmmm, interesting, a time limit draw. Unexpected nowadays, but it can lead to further battles down the way… Overall, it was a fun match.

SECOND CHANCE
Hmmm… Could this be going somewhere now? I think so, lets see where it goes.

A SHORT INTERLUDE
It’s not a stable… but it’s a stable… That’s not a stable… I’m just saying.

DEF*MAX - LINDSAY TROY v MUSHIGIHARA
The Queen is all out of fucks to start this thing, I like it… Then Mushi is all like, FUCK THIS, BITCH and just straight whips her monster heel style… Really like the false hope finish where LT gets the submission, but can’t finish because of a rope escape… Then the big powerbomb spot and LT’s super close kickout… It’s all good, using the Thai style kicks to break down the legs throughout, make it make more sense when he strikes again later and scores the big Shining Wizard to finish… Short? Sure, but it doesn’t need to be super long and Mushi looks like a monster, LT looks tough and just narrowly survives to win… Good stuff.

A PROMISE
Had a bit of a misunderstanding with Craig on this, but I get what he’s trying to do. He’s trying to have Noble look big picture, rather than focus on one detail. So IMO, it’s all good here and it’s why I added the line with Ty saying “I like the kid” as a way of showing his support for that young fire… Though like Dames said, it’s a fine line, Kels should be equal opportunity and not favoring anyone. That said, IC-wise, Noble is rising and becoming a huge draw with Frank Holiday, so that “issue” will solve itself anyway. Like, Kels is a student of Eric Dane, she’s not going to sabotage good business to prop up someone else, while holding someone else back.

FRANK’s COUNTERPOINTS
I love Frank Holiday promos. That’s all I’m gonna say. He’s basically the most fun babyface that I know of in the game right now. He’s like “old school” Sting, but with a sharper edge at times, but just as fun as Sting was back in the day.

DEF*MAX - FRANK HOLIDAY v CURTIS PENN
Right off the bat, we get some Penn promo goods, already liking this… Then you got a bit there with Malachi in the commentary, good spot of detail that ties things together… Frank showing he’s truly DEFIANT, still a babyface, but hey fuck you we go after weak spots and don’t fuck around… And when Penn gets his turn, he starts putting a whooping on Frank… Good pacing so far… Hah, with another bit of Malachi in the commentary, nice… YUSS! And the Cast comes into play for the finish. The only thing I’d have like to have seen with the finish is Doyle being turned around or somehow not seeing Penn smashing Frank with the cast… Because disqualifications and whatnot (unless did we establish no DQ’s in this tournament? If so, I apologize)... Anyway, good stuff, Ken.
 

CraigM

Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2007
Messages
351
Points
16
Age
38
The Run-Down/Lucky
Really nice opening segment with Eugene Dewey coming out, continuing to show how 'heel' he has become, and ties into last week's match with LT getting the victory over Dewey and this week's match with Henry Keyes. Dewey is getting his first taste of being 'the man' and having the bullseye on his back. It's like the four years that the Miami HEAT were on top of the NBA world. Every night, they received the very best a team had, and that becomes draining after a while. Dewey losing his first match as 'THE MAN' definitely sets an interesting tone and now he has to figure out how to come back from that.

These Backstage Areas Are Safe for No Man
Yep.

Momma Said Knock Him Out
Lance Warner is growing some balls! What now?! Probably getting tired of being harassed by the likes of Dan Ryan, Henry Keyes, and Samuel T. Turner by now. Oh, and Turner talked some trash. ;-)

Noble vs. Turner
Wrote this with Chris. I thought it was a really nice match that played up the physicality of Turner and showed him to be a contender in the SoHer division.

For Every Action
From the moment that Block B was created, it was clear in my head that Dan Ryan was the final boss and this continues to prove that point. Of course, tonight, for Ryan it's not about winning the tournament as he is off, but more about Dewey and making it clear to Eugene that at the end of his road is Dan Ryan, one way or another. Seems to me that Ryan believes Dewey is going to make it to the Finals against him (Dewey is the champ. It's not a stretch at all, though Block A is brutal).

Agree to Disagree
I quite enjoy the rookie/veteran build between Freeman/Donovan. Donovan is trying to teach Freeman a few things and Kenny is just in that state where he sees black and white and nothing in between. Donovan is seeing differently and it is having an impact on him. Good stuff.

Watch Yo Mouth
I like Walker coming out and sticking up for his woman. He's having NONE of that and he doesn't care who it is, much less if it's Bronson Box. Box kept it coming, getting under Ty's skin, and Ty finally snapped. Of course, Dewey shows up and it allows you to see the dynamic between Box/Dewey. Of course, whether they are friends or partners or what continues to prevail as they are blurring the lines and not making it clear what kind of... arrangement they have. Once again, good stuff. Ty should have dick slapped them though.

Dewey vs. Keyes
Really good match here between Dewey + Keyes. Lots of action, brutal action, between the two and Keyes has nothing to be ashamed of when it is all said and done. Dewey is the champ at the end of the day and this is his road to redemption right here, getting the victory over Keyes. Keyes is one of those characters where it doesn't matter if he wins or loses, he always comes out looking good and mixes well with anyone style wise. It's what you gotta love about Keyes (well, that, and BELL CLAP!)

New Followers
Yep.

Kings and Queens
Short and sweet here between Troy + Mushi/Dante. Troy shows no fear and kind of leaves Mushi just standing there (well, she does). Troy is on a mission and she doesn't care who is in her way, even if it's the 300-pound beast, Mushigihara.

Hook 'Em Up
HA! Right off the bat 'Are you punctuating like we talked about' from Billy Pepper. That made me laugh. The whole segment was gold, to be quite honest, with Ty Walker showing up and wanting to get Holiday hooked up with some bitches now that Holiday is single. The pimp hand line was phenomenal as well, especially with it coming from Billy Pepper. Loved this.

Matthews vs. Donovan
And then it turned into Donovan/Harmony, who makes her DEFIANCE debut. Got to see Tracey put this together and she did a really nice job with putting a good match down on paper. Good back and forth action with it ending in draw, leaving the door open for more action between the two. Matthews/Matthews stuff occurred at the beginning and seems to be setting something nice up here.

Second Chance
Yep.

A Short Interlude
Looks like we now have a Katze/Dante pairing, which could be an interesting twist depending on how it is handled moving forward. So often, you see the good guys banding together, but this time around, we might be seeing the 'heels' banding together, and that could be an interesting proposition.

Troy vs. Mushigihara
This match was to the point and played up how much Troy is in the driver's seat now in regards to the DEFMAX tournament. Dante had some good stuff on the outside to help out Mushigihara, but Troy walks out with the victory. Dewey and Mushi under her belt? Things are getting interesting, that's for sure.

A Promise
Had a lot of fun with this one.

Frank's Counterpoints
Frank coming out and doing what he does best, which is spit game and take names. He hit three key points here: his match with Turner from the previous show, his match that evening against Penn, and then his following show match with Noble. Ken is so good with Holiday, it's quite scary. Great babyface promo.

Holiday vs. Penn
This match was GREAT and loved the back and forth between Holiday + Penn. This is a feud that would be HUGE in DEFIANCE with these two rising stars. Love the focus as of late on just HOW strong Holiday is and the announcers talking about it as well. At the end of the day, Penn does what he does best and that's cheat his way to a victory. Block B is all sorts of crazy right now and it will be interesting to see how it goes from here on out. Match of the night.
 

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