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DEFtv #56 - GO HOME SHOW FEEDBACK!

SenorJames

DEFIANT Grandpa
Joined
Jan 11, 2013
Messages
1,098
Points
0
Location
The Land of Cheese
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http://www.defiancewrestling.com/results/104

What did we do right?

What did we do wrong?

Match of the Night?

Segment of the Night?

Top Face of the Night?

Top Heel of the Night?

On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?

Favorite Quotes?

Mark-Out Moments?

How was the overall reading experience?
 

Seth

Active member
Staff member
Joined
Feb 4, 2005
Messages
1,143
Points
38
What did we do right?

On this show as a whole, everything built up to Acts of DEFIANCE nicely. I thought at first, I wasn't going to like doing the summarized format (I'm one of the rare nutjobs in this hobby that enjoys the matchwriting the most), but that having been said, I did enjoy doing the Felton/Mahogany match that way and hope I got the style right.

Evan, I dug the style that you wrote it in and I think if the main event is summarized also, peppering it with some commentary and extended action would be a perfect way to help it pop a little more. Good stuff here.

What did we do wrong?

Well, one thing that *I* did wrong was not completely proofread my "Look at an All-Star" segment, noticed some dumb typos, but other than that, I didn't really see anything glaringly wrong here.

Match of the Night?

Main event, ended as it should between the four men involved - complete fucking mayhem.

Segment of the Night?

I'll give it up for the whole saga of Eugene Dewey going the extra mile to fuck with Dan Ryan and Lindsay Troy. This was a great narrative to throw some doubt for the FIST of DEFIANCE Title match to see if Ryan can keep his cool.

I will say this also, as much as I enjoy LT and Dan Ryan, it was great to see both of them clearly rattled by this whole thing. Their general demeanors make them stand out (proud, quick with a joke, just about in control of the situation) but it was great to see something pester Ryan (and Troy) that much and then have that pay off into his story with Holiday. Good storytelling all around.

Top Face of the Night?

Dusty and FDJ fighting the good fight against Box and Corrozo. Can't agrue against that.

Top Heel of the Night?

Dewey for being a great manipulative little shit. Kudos also to Penn/Booya for whomping Walker and Jiles like assholes.

On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?

Can't really say there was anybody on this particular show that "broke out" so to speak, but I am really looking forward to the next wave of guys coming in here and kicking ass. That's gotta count for something.

Favorite Quotes?

Lindz wins hands-down this week with:

Lindsay Troy: [using a mock Dan Ryan voice]
I’M DAN RYAN AND I’M SERIOUS BUSINESS. I ALSO HAVE DIRECTV. [pulls a lock of hair under her nose] And I’m Mustached Dan Ryan and I have cable!

I imagined this in my head and I laughed my ass off.

Mark-Out Moments?

Dan Ryan colostomizing Frank Holiday was a pretty big beatdown I actually didn't see coming. Great culmination of the Troy/Ryan/Dewey saga.

How was the overall reading experience?

Good. A huge plus for the shortened shows is being much easier to supply feedback.
 

Murrr

I will send you to the bin.
Joined
Jan 18, 2008
Messages
459
Points
0
Location
Aberdeen, Scotland
Website
www.defiancewrestling.com
What did we do right?
It’s probably been mentioned a thousand times in previous threads, but the condensed show format is a game-changer. DEF shows used to be huge, sprawling epics that took a long time to write and a long time to read. Previously I’d dedicate hours to getting through one, but now I absolutely fly. Sacrificing a bit of detail for greater readability was definitely a good move.

Dig how the introduction to Andy Sharp has been handled. That’s a character I recognise through name only, so the interview did a lot to shed light on who he is, where he came from, and what he’s about. I like this guy already, and the “overdose” story generates insta-sympathy. Instant continuity with Bigsby accepting the open challenge immediately afterwards, too. GOOD.

Everything involving LT, Euge and Ryan was God-tier. Starts off with Eugene playing the spoiled, entitled little brat role to perfection in Kelly’s office. Not explicitly showing the locker-room trashing and instead focusing on the Ryan/LT interaction was a good choice, planting tension-filled seeds instead of holding our hands. Right into the confrontation seg with LT playing the intermediary, then Ryan handing-out an absolute shellacking to Frank Holiday, just because. Good storytelling all-round and I’m hooked for the PPV, and particularly Dan Ryan’s next move.

I dug the main event formatting: seemed a really good balance between summarising and splicing-in more detailed descriptions of key moments. Summarised matches sometimes feel a little inconsequential, but no such problems here. Keep experimentin’.

What did we do wrong?
It’s kinda moot, because I usually read the shows in PDF format anyway, but the on-site formatting is still a bit stodgy. There’s not much to separate each individual segment other than a line of dark red text on a black background, and the columns could maybe be tightened-up a little to further hasten the reading experience. Honestly though, it’s a minor quibble.

Other than that, I don’t really have anything, mayne. Good-ass show. Maybe some characters could’ve done with a stronger presence, but eh.

Match of the Night?
Yer main event.

Segment of the Night?
Trashed.

Top Face of the Night?
LT.

Top Heel of the Night?
Eugene.

On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
I’m with Seth. Everybody outside the obvious main eventers feels like they’re on roughly the same level. Maybe Andy Sharp, but he’s just through the door.

Favorite Quotes?
Dan Ryan:
Life is random sometimes.

Lindsay Troy: [rolls eyes]
Deep thoughts with Dan Ryan.

Dan Ryan:
I can be deep.

Lindsay Troy:
I think the word you’re looking for is dense.

Mark-Out Moments?
FDJ announcing the Taipei Deathmatch. I’m not reading that one on a full stomach.

How was the overall reading experience?
Mentioned it earlier, but super smooth. An absolute breeze.
 

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
Sep 11, 1997
Messages
4,815
Points
36
Age
48
Location
Katy, TX
What did we do right?

The introduction was good and I've been liking the BRAZEN. Looking forward to seeing the new people worked into the overall story of the fed. I like that the direction is clear. It was easy to write for this show because I knew exactly where I was going and what I wanted to portray.

What did we do wrong?

I honestly have no complaints. I'm not picking on typos. I was good with this show.

Match of the Night?

The main event I suppose. It's hard to say "great match" on a go-home show because the essence of the storytelling is to hit the sell button one last time before the big show. But the main was excellent work from the usual suspects, so I'll go with that.

Segment of the Night?

I wrote three of the Ryan/LT/Eugene segments, other than edits, so I'm tiptoe-ing around this question a bit. As I said before, I enjoy the BRAZEN stuff. I don't always like new characters until they do something to hold my attention. This stuff has. Off the top of my head, the Andy Sharp segment stuck in my head, so I must have liked it. :)

Top Face of the Night?

Lindsay Troy is the top face of any night right now.

Top Heel of the Night?

Eugene Dewey, just as he should be. So easy to work with Damien, too. I literally just wrote some stuff and he said "great, I'm happy". And his segment with Kelly, which was all his, was excellent, too.

On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?

A whole bunch of newbies are about to break out. Very intrigued by it all.

Favorite Quotes?

I originally wrote all of Lindsay Troy's lines for her in our segments, then Lindz went in and put her spin on a few. The bit where she did the "I'm Dan Ryan who has cable" with her hair for a moustache made me LOL legit when I saw it. Always super easy to write that stuff with her, too.

Mark-Out Moments?

I didn't really mark out, honestly. But again, go-home show. I'm not sure a big mark out moment is necessary here -- just smart progression.

How was the overall reading experience?

Easy peasy. I read it in under and hour and had feedback in my head rather quickly. Rolling on.
 

Evan H.

DEF Director of Fun & Good Humor
Joined
May 7, 2012
Messages
1,263
Points
0
Location
South Tejas
Website
myundertaking.tumblr.com
What did we do right?
Like everyone keeps saying, the condensed format just works. Just for the record, I'm all for doing all DEFtv's like the main event... shorter but not lacking in detail or personality. Some people have this idea what "condensed" is supposed to look like. My figuring is, we love the little high points with the RAAAH's and the BOOO's, so toss a few in, leave those high points in there. All we're really doing is not making EVERY show we do the Keebler and Angus show by eliminating the move for move play by play, that's all I did really.


What did we do wrong?
Nothing I can see.


Match of the Night?
Dug the Horry / Cole match, well done whomever wrote that one. Yay recap format, yay yay.


Segment of the Night?
I liked Trashed and the Euge/Kelly segments a lot.


Top Face of the Night?
Troy, absolutely. I like Troy a little lighter, like she is in a lot of her segments with Ryan. Having her a little more lighthearted really pushes her over that line to true blue beloved babyface. It helps that Brunk and Lindz have a fantastic repore and can crank out really organic dialogue.


Top Heel of the Night?
I'm going to give props to Mushi. His character progression this arc has been spot on. Still one of my favorite characters in the fed.


On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
Harmony. Good stuff this arc, ma'am.


Favorite Quotes?
FDJ:
I’mma gon’ cut you up, an’ I’mma gon’ make you BLEED big’un!

I can just picture the sadistic look on Frank's face saying this line.


Mark-Out Moments?
Frank's promo was dope. I still maintain Frank is Justin's best character. He's evolved beyond just a Necro Butcher rip-off. He's Necro, he's Brody, he's Harper... he's "that guy" you know? I "handled" Frank for a bit a while back, but you can just tell when Justin steps in there and works Frank's promos because it's always just spot on killer stuff.


How was the overall reading experience?
I'll state again for the record. I fully support (and it seems i'm not alone) making DEFtv's all condensed format. You see it doesn't mean less story, it's just less... well, wrestling moves but honestly... meh? It's a story driven game, the wrestling is still there but I think pulling the reigns back on the move for move announcer bibble-babble will breath a lot of life into this place. Save the long epic shows for PPV's. No need to kill ourselves, this is supposed to be a fun hobby, you know?


Discuss, talk among yourselves...
ED9twRU.gif
 

The H.N.I.C.

New member
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
21
Points
1
What did we do right?
Summarized format works just fine. I like play by play too, but the summarized format is pretty cool.

What did we do wrong?
Nothing.

Match of the Night?
The main event. Dusty is always treated as such an important figure in DEFIANCE, and his matches are always handled with such care. And do I smell a face turn for Bronson Box? I could just see t-shirt sales now: "I love Box!" Fans chanting in arenas: "We love Box!"

Segment of the Night?
Andy Sharp. Wow, what an intro.

Top Face of the Night?
Again Andy Sharp. That intro promo, just laid out his character so neatly, it's like anybody who punches him is instantly a dick. Even if it's his girlfriend and she playfully punches him in the shoulder, she's a dick.

Top Heel of the Night?
Nicky Corozzo. He used brass knuckles on Dusty, repeatedly, and cost Bronson the chance to put Dusty away. Nicky heeled the face, and heeled the heel. The bastard. And Jake Donovan is a bastard too, real men dropkick people in the face, not in the back.

On the Bubble / Who is about to break out?
I like the Mushi/Harmony feud, and it's build. Somehow I think ol' Monster Mushi will take a liking to Harmony, the Beauty with the Booty's charms can not be understated. Booty vs the Beast, anybody?

Favorite Quotes?
Lindsay Troy: [using a mock Dan Ryan voice]I’M DAN RYAN AND I’M SERIOUS BUSINESS. I ALSO HAVE DIRECTV. [pulls a lock of hair under her nose] And I’m Mustached Dan Ryan and I have cable! I love these commercials, so the Queen using this was awesome for me. But I think an unhinged Dan Ryan, is gonna present some serious problems for the 'La Reina'

Mark-Out Moments?
Frank Dylan James return was a mark out moment. The return of Sam Horry was a mark out moment for me personally. I wasn't sure if I could really drum out something interesting as far as the character went, but I think I got something pretty good out of it, and my creative juices are flowing, so I think I'll be able to bring more to the table.

How was the overall reading experience?
Good, the shortened matches didn't make it feel like I thought it would--and that's a good thing. It still felt as if I were reading the transcript from a real show, so good job to all the writers, this was a good go home show before the PPV.
 

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