(FADEIN: Doc Silver sitting in a locker room, wearing a "Shirley Kneeling over the star" Garbage T-Shirt and his normal sweatpants.)
DOC: Cameron Cruise...Really? Higher seed then me? Really? Cameron, let's make this simple...You're not in my league and you know this...I just beat a man who hyped himself as a person who committed an "Immense amount of murder"...You my friend...Exist only to commit an "Immense amount of mid-carding"...
Our paths crossed once, and it ended because Beau Michaels threw a doll that was supposed to be a baby into a ring, and that abortion, no pun intended of a gimmick turned into some blue painted nutjob that you're the father of...My legacy is of countless world titles, burnt bridges and the world itself knowing that I am truly one of, if not the greatest wrestlers in this history of this sport...Your legacy is some garbage wrestler in purple body paint screaming at the camera incoherently...
Or maybe your legacy is the fact that you can't cut it in the big leagues, that you'll never win the big one...That you have gathered up an army of has-beens and never-will-bes and formed...Anthology...(Looks disgusted) Anthology...Not really feeling that name Cameron...
See that's the difference between us Cameron, you've muddled through your whole worthless career...You've spent all this time doing pitiful little that will matter in the grand scheme of things, while my every move is a giant issue...I'm the reason Sean Stevens doesn't sleep well at night, he knows that the level of opposition could go from some masked nobody, some idiot who conceded the title with a boo boo on his arm, some goth moron who can't get anyone, least of all you, to sell his gimmick...And yourself...To ME...And that's something he knows he can't handle
I'm the reason Eddie Mayfield jumps on TV every 25 seconds, pleading with the crowds to notice him and his worthless roster, he knows if I showed up that not even with him running the ship, no matter how desperately he tried to keep me down...That I'd outshine him...He's got a heel Bible? About all you need to read out of it is Mayfield 2:12 "When ye has the book, then ye shall put thine self over"
Look Cruise, you're not in my world...If you somehow beat me, this would be the defining moment of your career, if I beat you I wouldn't even get half way down the ramp before I was thinking about what promo I was going to cut on my next opponent...This is the biggest match you've had in years...For me it's a walk in the park.
And now you'll get on the TV and let me know I suck, and that I'm gonna face a reality check I won't like...When reality is I'm just better then you period...And you know it...So you'll put up a brave face, walk to that ring, get in there with me...And know you got nothing to look forward to, nothing but pain, suffering, and the fact that in the end...
You will be left to walk the endless path of misery...
"Not for nothin' Doc, because I'm sure you've heard it plenty of times before...but for cryin' out loud man, GET A LIFE!!"
(Fadein Cameron Cruise, freshly showered and dressed in blue jeans and a black Anthology T-shirt. Putting his trademark black Anarchy-shades on, he starts to pack his gear and shakes his head in his own lockerroom.)
CRUISE: It's been barely afew hours since you've advanced to the second round in the Team Invitational Tournament and even less for me but you're already b*tching and complaining.
Since when is it about seeding with you, Doc?? I mean, since I'm facing the great "DOC SILVER", in all his "Passion and Glory", since when does it matter to you if I'm seeded higher or lower than you??
You just beat a man that was "hyping himself as a person who committed an 'Immense amount of murder'".
And?? What...you wanna ****ing cookie to go with that, because only retards with no ****ing pension but to hash up things like that in a tournament like this get one.
But just for you, I'll let it go since I've already been through it once already with Robinson last week; it doesn't matter if you're the high seed or the low. Hell, it doesn't even matter that in the span of the last few months I've been through not one-but-two Barbed Wire Cage matches to insure myself of becoming the Number One Contender to the A1E World Heavyweight Championship title...
(Cruise pulls out the very contract from his bag and displays it for the camera, before putting it back in the bag).
CRUISE:...so it's not like I've not known what it's like to push myself for something at the risk of my own health...I have, so with all respect...**** you. So what if you think I'm not in "your league", Doc. I don't have, and quite frankly never really wanted to be in the first place.
The fact is Doc, outside of short appearances in arenas and venues where you weren't really "asked" to be to begin with and others in which you pretty much invited yourself...I can't think of one company around this side of the circuit where you're actually WANTED.
But that's just me and I can deal with that, but if knowing that your "legacy" of 'countless world titles, burnt bridges' is part of what gets you to sleep at night, then SO BEIT. But I don't need the entire world to tell me that I'm a Great wrestler Doc, I mean despite the difference of the amount of World titles with my name on them...that's what the tapes are for, pal.
Sure, I haven't won "the big one", at least, not yet.
But you're kidding yourself if you think I can't "Cut it" in the big leagues, because I've been "Cutting it" for almost fifteen years, and I realize that might not mean much to you Doc, but it does to me.
So much so, that it separates the difference between a "wet-behind-the-ears-puppy", and someone who can handle more than just a "Can of Corn".
(Cruise zips up his bang slaps it acouple of times for durability.)
It's funny Doc but...for some reason I don't really remember coming across a part in my daily agenda that calls for your "Stamp of Approval", whether it's coming up with a name for the hottest commodity this business has seen since...well hell it doesn't really matter anyway.
The point is that I don't care if you like the name of the best thing this business has ever seen or if you can't, but to stand not having that one glazed-bear-claw-with-sprinkles, because it starts off you're day just better than your average cup of Starbucks coffee....that's just plain Jealousy on your part, sir.
Nothing wrong with that, mind you, but Jealousy..much like Flattery...will get you no where, Doc.
But you keep telling yourself what you think the positives are between you and me, because we both know it's not going to work for anyone else but you anyway. I'm good with the fact that every step and every move you take is a "Giant issue" to you, because it's quite the opposite to me.
While you think I've done very little to prove myself in the big picture, to me I see it as something my mother used to tell me when I was a wee little ****:
A Little Goes A Long Way.
I'll be damned if it hasn't gone MILES.
All the same...I intend to do what works for me, not what you think is the better way, 'cuz after all...it's been working like a charm for you lately...right?? I ask you Doc, because quite unlike you...I'm not looking past the man that stands in front of me.
I don't care what the next man I'm booked to face is doing and I'm pretty sure it goes without saying that he could care even less about me.
And that brings my focus at this moment in time on just one man, and I'm looking straight at him.
If you're the reason that Sean Stevens doesn't sleep well at night Doc, then how come it's not YOUR name on the marquee as the opponet to face him at EPW's Wrestleverse. How come as we speak there are thousands, and I mean THOUSANDS of programs being printed right now that read "Sean Stevens vs. Rocko Daymon vs. JA"??
I mean, it's not that I don't believe you Doc, try as I might...but I just don't see Seans' knees shaking, not when it comes to a man trying to intimidate him that has an image and personality like yours.
If Sean can't sleep, it's because of the fact that his head is on a perverbial pike to those who can't afford regular paper-like targets so they have to vision otherwise; it's not only natural...I can't wait to go through it myself.
But somehow Doc, you're right.
This IS the biggest match of my career...this week, but nevertheless you can trust in the fact that I DO take it seriously. After all, there's nothing more exhilerating than to be told that I either can't perform in someone else's "world" or that I don't belong "in it".
Just ask Jason Reeves or "Stalker" to some people, he told me the same thing and best believe I was the one percent out of the ninety-nine that proved him wrong.
So if you're looking for a way not to keep me from being motivated for our match Doc, I'm sorry to disappoint you but "the cat is out of the bag".
I'm not going to tell you that you suck Doc, not because I think you're an idiot but because it'd be like looking at the Sun and saying that it's raining; it's just not true.
But if you think this is going to be a walk in the park then what I WILL tell you is something that you already know, something that you've already seen me prove, and something that'll have a strong chance at becoming inevitable.
And that's Cameron Cruise NOT Doc Silver...moving on to the next round of the Team Invitational Tournament.
And that's not only a REALITY CHECK that you're not going to like Doc, but rain or shine...
(Cruise slings his bag over his shoulder as he walks out of the lockerroom, flicking off the lightswitch as we fadeout.)
(FADEIN: Doc Silver back at his now not destroyed by terminators estate.)
DOC: Stalker...Wow...Stalker...Really Cruise? That's where we're going with this, you've decided that you're going to have a pissing contest with me over who we've beaten? I'm sure I'd be in a lot of trouble going down a list of respective victims we've claimed...But let's get to the heart of the matter Cruise...
Lemme set the scene for you...Most likely at some bar with you and the Anthology boys...You're drinking and doing the standard bullsh*ting...And at some point somebody decides that they gotta get all bent out of shape and lay down the law and declare themselves the true best talent in your little gaggle o' pals...So World titles get mentioned...Huge events in the past are relived...Crazy stories of the road...Oh we all got them...
But after all the belts, all the blood, all the tales of glory and failure...You all know it's coming...Shawn Hart gets that little sly smile on his face...And there it is...
"I beat Doc"
And with that, the punk card is played, the meeting is over, victory...Is his...And that's a real legend Cruise, that's what makes a man more the just another wrestler...When someone walks into a league and the rest of the locker room says "What have you ever done" and that man uses *your* name to establish himself, YOUR name to build himself up in the eyes of others...Then...Then you matter...
How many World Titles have I won? I have no idea...I honestly forget and wouldn't know how many the internet views as 'legit'...But the men I've beaten, that's the legacy that continues on...I made my name off their backs, and in turn, others make their name off me...
This is your moment Cruise, to make a name for yourself...To be able to earn your place with those who've managed to pin my shoulders to the mat for three seconds, or tap me out...That's what this about you...To beat somebody REAL...Not some b*tch flunkie of some middling 'World Champion' who passes out when he hears my name...No...You get to beat the real deal...
That's what this is for you Cruise, your shot at the brass ring, your chance to become somebody...You've always found a way to blow it in the past...Never got the job done when it mattered...Maybe you will this time...Maybe this is it for Cameron Cruise, maybe you beat my ass and go on to dominate this tournament, maybe everyone is finally forced to stand up and take notice that Cameron Cruise is a force to be reckoned with and matters in this industry...
Or you'll get caught with the Aces Full...And lay on the mat as I hook your leg as a mere formality and the ref counts three...And we go on the respective paths we always travel in, me living a life in the main event, moving forward as the odds on favorite to capture this tournament and add yet another title, another little token of my greatness...And you, a second round loser...Waiting for the next shot at glory, wishing just once the ball would bounce your way...
But it never does...Because you're always a step slow, a move behind, you can't get there...You are truly doomed...You live the life of a man...Walking the endless path of misery...
"Wow Doc, ya know...I can take all the garbage you just said and take it either one of two ways, either I can sit here and drop names all day on why what you said doesn't matter or I can go the other route and call YOU names and prove to you why the fact that you're MISSING THE POINT."
(Fadein, Cameron Cruise, dressed in blue jean and white t-shirt that says the words "Shirley Manson is a Hooker." on the front and his trademark Anarchy shades. Standing in front of a Team Invitational Tournament backdrop the logo is printed in cursive as Cruise shrugs, holding both the CSWA Presidential Championship on one shoulder and the EPW Intercontinental Championship on the other.)
CRUISE: Stalker wasn't something I intended to drop on you for the sake of telling you who I beat, Doc, but merely an idiot who failed at intimidating me after having Rocko Daymon...in case you didn't hear me the first time, he's one of two men challenging Sean Stevens for the World title instead of you....ya know..seeing as you really haven't done anything anyway it would behoove me to think that he would STILL have the next shot at the World Title since you barely show your face almost as often as a Lunar Eclipse right??
But I'm digressing, the fact is that I beat Stalker because he was just as delusional as Suicide was...and he couldn't shut his mouth either.
But you can't tell me that I finally have a chance at being somebody, Doc, because with all respect to what you've done in your career...I've been there and done that.
Besides...who else do you know that was able to pin men like Dan Ryan, Marcus Westcott, and Joey Melton all in the span of three weeks??
I'd be willing to wager that it'd take you at least afew minutes to think of that one, Doc because the odds of doing that are incredibly slim. But that's not to say that I don't think you're someone to be taken lightly, Doc, of course not.
I said it before, I'm not looking past this week, past the time in which we step in the ring and see which one is better than the other, I've just no interest in it. But then again you do and that seems to work for you so by all means...
Look past me to the next round, hell, you can take a crack at the mexican's celebrating Cinco De Mayo next week and maybe even send a note to that ol' Fat guy up North...you know...the one you still wait up for every December?? Just a tip though Doc, it's Milk and cookies not "Jack 'n' Coke and Beer Nuts", though either way it's just as pathetic.
Speaking of such, what makes you think you're even the topic of conversation ANYWHERE let alone whenever "The Dangle Brothers" meet up for a "dirty thirty"?? After all...you give an appearance once or twice a year and you think people actually take NOTICE??
Congratulations, Doc, you beat a man that allegedly committed abunch of murders. You pretty much saved alot of work for the Albany, New York Police squad in getting him arraigned.
Now, it's true...my opponent wasn't that much better and I'd be willing to bet even money that if it weren't for the aptitude that is the 2009 Team Invitational Tournament, I'm pretty sure despite that how much more popular I am than you on the charts...I still might be competing in an empty hall.
Sean, if you're watching this...no offense, but it is what it is.
But you're not anything special Doc, and neither am I and I'm okay with that. However, we both know the quickest way to remedy that theory and that's to win the 2009 Team Invitational Tournament.
After all, there's nothing I'd like more than to receive a trophy and a contract for the right to be called "Champion of Champions". Lord knows Doc, I've got so much on my plate right now that doing that just to spite you would just be icing on the cake right??
Newsflash Doc....there's always going to be someone bigger and badder than I am that's going to hang it over my head that they're the one I need to beat, that THEY are the one that needs to be pinned for me to get over "that hill".
And again as I've already stated before, that's fine with me because it's about as constant as death and taxes.
But that's the good thing about it Doc, there's always gonna be a test for me to pass, an obstacle for me to hurdle or a testament for me to achieve something written in stone.
And that's part of what drives me, Doc, not the World Titles, not the money or the fame or anything like that to go with it.
The Challenge, Doc.
See, you claim to know the difference between you and me and that I haven't always been able to win "the big one", even though in some peoples's eyes that might be something like A1E's Pier Six Brawl or a high-risk weapon-like match against a hated rival.
But me, I think I've got you pegged differently.
While you might not see me as someone that can either get to or win "the big one", I AM okay with that, especially knowing that it's not too far off that I might be offered a second chance.
'Course then there's YOU.
Sure, you might show up at a venue to compete against some guy I could care even less about and sure, you'll put up the hard fought battle that anyone could respect, but won't...but in the off chance that you just...don't...got...enough to pull through...
(Cruise starts to cry sarcastically and then waves it off.)
You're gone like David Blaine after a botched "fake magic trick", only to show up three-to-six months later with the same schtick to use all over again.
I'm not trying to call you "old" Doc, but with a name like that and a routine that sophisticated...it's just too hard to give a damn anymore.
But regardless of how well I do in this tournament Doc, whether I fall short against you or I take the entire thing, there is one thing I'm sure of and that's that that I AM a force to reckon with in this industry, no matter how much you dispute it.
Whether it's proving myself day in and day out or shoving this industry right on it's ass by bringing forth "The Anthology", I'm always gonna be known to people as "The Champ".
Just ask Jared Wells, he'll tell ya.
But the fact is Doc, if you're such a "winner" and you claim to know (Cruise uses finger quotes and mocks his 2nd round opponent) "the life of a man...walking the endless path of misery...only happy when it rains", then to know one is to BE one.
And lord knows that you're the last person I want to relate to, so let's make this easy:
I don't like you and could care even less about what you say and I'm sure you're willing to say the same thing about me.
So pardon me if I say that we agree to disagree...but in all other courses of interest, I'll keep things even simpler as before:
If you think you're going to run me over like nothing happened then you're really shoving your foot in your mouth and that's unforgiveable.
But you go ahead and yammer on about this and that and keep quoting a singer that hasn't had a headlining act since the nineties to get your point across.
I'll be training to produce two things this week, Doc, one of 'em is a win and the other is to produce a REALITY CHECK...one that you just...won't like.
(FADEIN: Doc Silver still at his estate in Vegas.)
DOC: Look Cameron I said it matters when people think YOU matter, not who YOU beat, but that when people beat you...They feel they've done something...Nobody feels that way about you Cruise, and nobody will...
You list wins over 'men like' Dan Ryan, Marcus Westscott and Joey Melton...Now I worry that with a bullsh*t qualifier like "Men like" in front of those names...That in reality you beat Ran Dyan, Moey Lelton...And ah screw it, Beast sucks...You could beat Beast...
But I have to ask when did you beat those guys? Was it some major PPV? What company was holding this event...Look let's be honest, Dan Ryan was running EPW, that stuff costs a lot of coin, you whore yourself out to any company offering a paycheck when you're running a company so you can keep it going till it turns a profit. And Joey Melton couldn't hold on to money if he was covered in magnets and thrown into Scrooge McDuck's Money Bin...
It's a lifestyle of a nomad, going from city to city, state to state, chasing the white line as you drive the highways and byways of the world...You know it well Cruise, that's why you fight in 44 different leagues...You ever spend any time in your house? You ever do anything but run around with "The dangle brothers" and try to screw girls who are impressed you can legally buy beer and have a steady flow of painkillers..."The Dangle Brothers" Is honestly one of the most horrible names I could ever think of for a group...You lose a bet or something? If I saw a video on-line titled "The Dangle Brothers" I'd have to assume I was about to see something akin to "2 girls 1 cup" only with some very disturbed gay men.
(CUTTO: Youtube Clip Titled "Greenie's reaction to the Dangle Brothers)
(Greenie sitting at a desk looking at a computer.)
GREENIE: Oh God no...NO...THAT CAN'T DO THAT...AHHHHHH!!!! (Greenie begins frantically banging on the keyboard) MAKE ME UNSEE IT...MAKE ME UNSEE IT...
(Greenie falls to the ground, racking sobs making his body spasm)
(CUTTO: Doc again)
DOC: Look Cruise...You might have caught a pilled up Dan Ryan in some backwater in Alabama and pinned him...You might have caught Joey Melton when he needed to make rent and he showed up after a 96 hour bender...But the REALITY CHECK you don't want is that the truth of this business is, you hang around long enough, you get a win or two you shouldn't...So maybe you did beat a bunch of people far better then you...That doesn't make you great, you beat Tiger Woods in one golf tournament, that doesn't make you better then Tiger Woods or more famous anything, it just means you got one win one time and good on you for doing it.
The fact is your career is one unending muddle...You win one, you lose one, you get a title, you lose a title...The effect you have on this industry or the companies you work for is as about as meaningless as the different shapes the goo inside a lava lamp makes.
You know what I'm saying is the truth, you wish it wasn't, but that's the facts, anytime you've decided to try to move past your limits, every time you've decided you're worth more then others thing you are, you piss off somebody better then you and they send you back to your place.
(Greenie stumbles onto the screen, his face red like he's been crying)
GREENIE: And the pop-tart...I can never eat them again...Oh God...The horror...The horror...
DOC: Great, now you've gone and scarred Greenie for life, you soulless scumbags...(Pauses) but really when I think about it, I was gonna kick your ass anyhow, and this way maybe he won't be trying to get money off me for the Bulls tomorrow...So I'd like to thank "The Dangle Brothers" for their awfulness...
And I'd like to thank you for going quietly down the endless path of misery...
(FADEIN: Doc Silver and Flint M. Jacobs sitting in the front of a car, for some odd reason they are dressed like Vince and Jules from Pulp Fiction, in the back of the car is a man who doesn't completely not look like Shawn Hart, but he's really not him either.)
DOC: Look man, stuff happens, there was this little woman, her name was Duchess, I dunno how it happened, she pinned me...Jean Rabesque too...This kind of stuff happens all the time...
FMJ: Look you want to play blind man, you can walk with the sheppard but me my eyes are wide f*cking open.
DOC: What does that even mean?!
FMJ: I saw the first round of the TEAM Tournament and Cameron Cruise winning his match was a miracle and I want you to accept that...
DOC: No it wasn't...God did not come down and pin his opponent's shoulders to the mat for three seconds.
FMJ: Yes he did! There's no other way to explain it! You've spent the past week trying to deal with his incoherent babble, how the hell else could the man ever win a match?!
DOC: Shawn what do you think about all this?!
NOT SHAWN HART: Look man I don't even have an opinon.
(Doc wheels around, carelessly pointing his gun at Hart)
DOC: You gotta have an opinon...Do you really think God came down and held that guy's shoulders to the mat for three seconds.
(SOUND FX: Gunshot. CUTTO: The back windshield of the car being covered in blood. CUTTO: Doc and Jacobs now also covered in blood.)
FMJ: WHAT THE F*CK MAN?!
DOC: Oh f*ck I just shot Hart in the head!
FMJ: What you do that for?!
DOC: It was an accident...Honest, I know I shoot on lots of people but I don't mean to shot them for really reals.
FMJ: F*ck man you apeing Christian Daniels sh*t now that you beat him...I can't believe you would play him like that, being all holier then thou about killing people, and now look at you, blasting poor Shawn Hart's brains all over the back of my car...
DOC: I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL HIM! God dammit...We gotta get off the road...Greenie's house is like 4 blocks up the road...Let's get the hell down there.
(CUTTO: Doc and FMJ now in their blood stained outfits drinking coffee with Green Machine, who's wearing a blue #12 authentic Brady Patriots jersey and blue shorts.)
FMJ: This is some great coffee...
GREENIE: Don't try to get yourself off the hook by praising my coffee...Cause my mind isn't on my coffee...You know what's on my mind? It's the dead mid-carder in my garage...Doc, when you came up to my house, did you see a sign that said dead mid-carder storage?
GREENIE: You know why you didn't see that sign?!
GREENIE: CAUSE IT ISN'T THERE!!! Look I spent the last week of my life trying to talk my wife out of leaving me because I was in promos combatting an admitted mass murderer...Things were not good around the Green Man's home...We get Cameron Cruise this round and besides the fact that I thought it was an overglorified bye week, I figured it would be peaceful, a nice break from last week's high stress bullsh*t...And now you pull this sh*t...My wife's gonna be home in a about 90 minutes...You gotta make some calls?! Do it...And then get the f*ck out of my house!
FMJ: You're married? I figured with the crippling gambling addiction and the persistant rumors about Ryoko just being a beard for you and Doc...
(Greenie glares at FMJ, seething)
FMJ: OK...OK...We'll fix this...
(CUTTO: Doc in the backyard of Greenie's house)
DOC: Yeah Rich, we ****ed up...I need some help here...
(CUTTO: Bloodhunt, who is for some really odd reason in a tux at 8 in the morning, he's writing down notes)
BLOODHUNT: You're 30 minutes away...I'll be there in 10...
(CUTTO: Bloodhunt, in a giant black open top limo like the one JFK was riding in when he was shot, pulling up at Greenie's house, Greenie outside.)
GREENIE: Jesus Christ, you drive like a maniac!
BLOODHUNT: If they drove like I did, JFK would still be alive...
GREENIE: Look can we hurry this up, my wife is gonna be home really soon and she's gonna be furious.
BLOODHUNT: You're married?!
(Greenie's cell phone rings.)
GREENIE: Oh f*ck it's her! (Answers phone) Hi Hunny...
(CUTTO: Greenie's wife, a way to good looking woman for Greenie to have married, sitting in a break area somewhere.)
GREENIE'S WIFE: Why you acting like that? You're not hanging out with that f*g Doc that does that gay wrestling sh*t again are you?! Look I know you get paid for that sh*t but honestly, we can live off my salary, I don't know why you get yourself invovled in it...Why do you care when I'm coming home?! Are they at the house?! I F*CKING TOLD YOU NO WRESTLERS IN THE HOUSE!!! I swear to God when I get home if there is anyone but you there we are FINISHED! You hear me?!
(CUTTO: Greenie sweating bullets)
GREENIE: No problem hunny, nobody's gonna be here...Nobody is here...But that doesn't mean you should race right home or anything...ummm...ahhhh....Yes, we'll talk when you get home...Love you...(Loud disconnect of the phone)
(CUTTO: Doc and FMJ cleaning up the car)
DOC: Man...I never thought it was gonna come to this...I mean, frigging fighting Cameron Cruise and cutting a promo and now I'm cleaning off a blood soaked windshield...I mean, really trying to penatrate the fog that is the world Cameron Cruise exists in...Where he's this noble, outstanding paragon of wrestling talent and honor...Yet at the same time he's the mastermind of this gang of thugs who seek only to crush and destroy all that oppose them....Is he bi-polar? Merely mentally ill? I just don't get it...I think I'd rather spent the next long while cleaning blood soaked cars rather then listen to him anymore.
FMJ: I'm sick of listening to you whining about blood soaked cars AND Cameron Cruise, you only dragged me out of mothballs cause you needed a black guy for the promo. So get the hell back here...You're on brain detail.
(CUTTO: Doc and FMJ in the backyard, Bloodhunt has a hose)
DOC: He might have to, but I don't
DOC: You know how many blade jobs I've had break open on the way home from an arena? I've turned more rental cars into crime scenes then you can imagine I've been pulled over looking like I'm fresh from a murder scene more times then I can count and the cops always understood the situation...if they see me I'll just tell them I'm coming back from the arena.
(FMJ glares at Doc and starts undressing)
FMJ: If I find out this sh*t was racial I'mma sue your ass...
(Doc looks at the camera, shattering the fourth wall)
DOC: I really don't have anything funny for the rest of this scene, so we're just gonna wrap it up here, and just to reassure everyone, no mid-carders were harmed in the making of this film...And I'm going to do my part in controlling the mid-carder population in the TEAM tournament, by ridding of Cameron Cruise...
(Greenie suddenly blasts Doc with the hose)
DOC: What the hell are you doing?!
GREENIE: I was trying to use water for the big finish, some way to get you to your catch phrase Maybe I should have arc'ed it...
(Greenie sprays the water high into the air onto Doc. Doc scampers away from the water)
DOC: QUIT F*CKING SPRAYING ME...And now I'm gonna get pneumonia which will somehow turn into swine flu and kill me dead...You worthless scumbag...Somebody get me a towel (Doc walks off camera in a fit)
GREENIE: Give him a couple movie scenes and he becomes a f*cking diva...Unreal...
BLOODHUNT: I still don't believe your married
GREENIE: (Shaking his head) Hate you people so much....
"I'm just curious Doc...since when did it become the new hip-and-trendy thing for people like you to sit there and be completely ignorant of the fact that men like me actually have lives outside of contemplating what it is you were thinking of when you recreate a movie that hasn't been a World-wide conversation-piece for fifteen years??"
(Fadein, Cameron Cruise dressed in blue jeans and a black-muscle shirt with the phrase "God Hates Hippies" in cursive, and his trademark black Anarchy shades in front of a TEAM backdrop.)
CRUISE: That's right, Doc. I suppose I should apologize for my lack of paying attention...not that I really try to, after all, you're really more boring to me than it's worth bothering with. But believe it or not, I'm still a Church going man, despite what horrible things go down in Maryland with the Dangle brothers show up...it's a matter of perspective for me; as much as you think yourself a Legend, you're just not that high on my priority list of things to tend to on a regular basis.
After all, I am getting ready to compete for and win a World Title match this week...what are you doing??
You're ruining what was once an underrated cinematic experience with nitwits that have no business being on camera to begin with. I mentioned athletes like Dan Ryan, Marcus Westcott and Joey Melton because based on things that they've done...it's a PRIVILAGE for myself to make a point to you by namedropping them in a promo.
But then again....I KNOW what they've done and accomplished. As far as I'm concerned, I know who you are...but I don't really think I GIVE A **** about what you've done either.
Maybe it's because I've beaten men that you haven't or haven't had the pleasure of facing yet, it doesn't quite make a difference to me there either.
It does give me abit of a tickle in my throat when I think about it though, that much I'll admit.
Hell Doc, I'm about as happy to be in "44 leagues" as Westcott can be when he realizes that the motorboats he gives to women are ACTUALLY women and not just transvestites that Lindsay Troy tricks him with when they go out for "coffee" on a Friday night regardless of whether or not the lights are low.
I'm actually flattered to be honest, because by being in all those leagues....that tells me that promoters are actually INTERESTED and willing to INVEST in my talent and marketability.
So what if I don't spend the time I should be in my house to make it worth paying the utilities, Doc, what does it matter?? I'm making enough money now, that I can still keep up the touring that I do and still pay the people that make a living everyday by pushing the buttons to GIVE me the juice to operate the house no matter if I'm there or not.
Or maybe you and Mister Greenjeans and his buddy Pokey are looking to move into the area, maybe that's it and you're looking to rent rooms??
Either way, again...it doesn't really make a difference to me. Anthology...
"The Dangle Brothers"...either one or both groups are always two levels higher than you'll ever be Doc, that's why you'll never be asked or invited; you think "Anthology" and instead of two women doing something incredibly wicked...you see Gay and Homosexual men with party favors.
That's not a knock on lifestyles Doc, after all..if that's what you're into then I'm not one to judge in that type of category.
I'm an ASSH*LE, Doc...but I'm not a jerk.
However, I've said it time and time again...but it just begs to be said:
What exactly have you done lately, Doc?? Sure...maybe I've been around long enough to get a win or a notch on the record books that ought not be there....but at least I was there to make the attempt.
What the hell were you doing...knitting a sweater for your pal, Perez Hilton over there?? People can think whatever they want about my level of excellence, that's what makes this country so damn awesome...but at least I'm competing.
You show up once in a blue moon and make a bunch of fuss and suddenly it's anyone's fault but yours when it comes to explaining why you've been absent from Study Hall.
It might be the truth, Doc, but at least I'm making the attempt to show up.
Nevermind the fact that I'm more popular than you right now in this business than you or anyone else could ever NOT wish me to be...being the founding member of a group that's the highest commodity this business has seen SINCE "The Cameron Cruise Project"...is irrellevant.
That's why this is a tournament that specializes in doing things individually. You're not gonna have Gumby or Bumble the Boy Wonder with you when the officials ring the bell and neither will I have "the Bastard Son" or "The King of Swing".
The "Reality" is Doc, is that I know people don't expect me to win this match or this whole tournament for that matter, regardless of how I'm seeded. But what you need to understand is that that's PRECISELY the motivation I need when we meet.
That it's the CONFIDENCE I need to keep reaching for a way to break that submission hold you may or maynot be able to lock in on me.
That it's the INCENTIVE I need to look for when you make that one mistake I can capitalize on to send me on my way to victory as well as the Third Round.
You might think it's something to tell people that they'll "Only Be Happy When It Rains", but me??
I think of things a different way.
When we get to Albany, New York and it's ends up that my hand is raised instead of yours...you'll be going home...
"Off The Rails Of A Crazy Train".
And we both know that that's a REALITY CHECK that you just...won't like.
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