EPICENTER: TiT '08 Regional Finals

[TH]

[Fade into a shot of Tom Holzerman standing in front of the Big Screen, a shot of a bloodied Dan Ryan with his daughter and wife from the end of A1E's Vengeance.]

TH: Shocking turn of events over at one of our affiliate feds last week as Dan Ryan announced his retirement. What does that mean for TEAM? And, the Final Four is finally set! See who makes it to Atlanta for the chance at the Merritt Trophy next. EPICENTER is... now!

[Cue up "Down" by Stone Temple Pilots.
Cut to JASON PAYNE, shouting out in primal fury with a man's blood as his war paint.
Cut to ROCKO DAYMON whipping ULYSIS SOLIAN off the ropes.
Cut to RAVAGER rolling out of the way of a ROB FRANKLIN top rope headbutt.
Cut to MUNSON MONSOON tossing HIGH FLYER out of the FREE FOR ALL~! ring.

Cut to DAN RYAN hoisting the Merrit Trophy, then flash cut to NOVA with the Harvard Avalon Memorial Trophy held by his side, then flash cut to The A-List hoisting the Dupree Cup.

Cut to: The Epicenter logo once more, fading into Tom Holzerman and Steve Murray at the EPICENTER desk.]

TH: Hello everybody, and welcome to TEAM EPICENTER. I'm Tom Holzerman...

SM: And I’m Steve Murray. Tonight, we're going to bring you some news on SuperShow VIII, but first, the Elite Eight. Let's dive right in, shall we?

[Cut to a close-up shot of Murray with a Sean Stevens/Olvir Arsvinnar inset.]

SM: If you were a betting man, which one would you take in the match between Los Angeles' number one "Triple X" Sean Stevens and the seven, the Pornographic Viking Olvir Arsvinnar? On the surface, Trip would be your choice, but he's hit somewhat of a skid lately, having lost the EPW World Championship to Rocko Daymon. Still, he's riding a hot streak in this tournament, as is the big Viking.

[Cut to the ring at the Staples Center.]

SM V/O: We start out showing Arsvinnar using his sizeable size advantage over Stevens, clubbing the former Champ across the head with those meaty forearms, no doubt the product of carrying heavy boulders around all day long.

TH V/O: In a related note, I hope Terry Anderson's junk doesn't fall off.

SM V/O: As do we all, Tom.

[Cut to Arsvinnar whipping Stevens into the ropes.]

SM V/O: The big man may specialize in butt domination, but here, he's using his arms, just leveling Trip with that huge lariat.

[Cut to Stevens lining up Arsvinnar.]

SM V/O: Never count out the resourceful Blue-Eyed Badass though. Needing to take the Butt Dominator off his vertical base, he lands a dropkick to his knee.

[Cut to Stevens running the ropes.]

SM V/O: When you give up about 70 pounds to your opponent, you have to work with quick strikes, and Stevens does just that, clocking Arsvinnar in the face with that flying forearm.

[Cut to Stevens on the top rope.]

SM V/O: Once again, Trip using those educated feet, this time from the top rope. Missile dropkick right to the Viking's head.

[Cut to Stevens running the ropes.]

SM V/O: Stevens' game of keep-away didn't last too much longer after that, and this failed attempt at a Thesz press that Olvir seemingly accidentally counters into a double-fisted chokeslam signals the end of his run in the match for now.

[Cut to Stevens in the corner.]

SM V/O: Olvir doesn't just dominate butts, he dominates WITH his butt, here flying backside first into the corner, crunching Stevens.

[Cut to Arsvinnar whipping Stevens off the ropes.]

SM V/O: Never count out a former Champion though, as Stevens ducks the lariat attempt and floors the big man with a cross-body.

[Cut to Arsvinnar whipping Stevens off the ropes again.]

SM V/O: That advantage was short-lived for the Blue-Eyed Badass, as Arsvinnar clubs him with the hammer blow.

[Cut to Arsvinnar with Stevens mid-height in a suplex.]

SM V/O: And here, all that blood rushing to Trip's head off this suplex... what impact!

[Cut to Stevens running the ropes again.]

SM V/O: The former Champ again in control though, after a key reversal, charges in, ducks the counter lariat from the Viking and takes him down with a neckbreaker quick as lightning.

[Cut to Stevens in the ring and Arsvinnar out.]

SM V/O: Arsvinnar leaves the ring at one point and goes for his horn of mead, but there is no let up from the Blue-Eyed Badass, as he nails the Big Viking with a tope suicida.

[Cut to Stevens lining up Arsvinnar.]

SM V/O: Trip going for the kill here, but Arsvinnar just plucks his ankle from the air before he could complete the X-Factor superkick and shoves him into the corner, following up with a GIANT Hornet Splash.

[Cut to Arsvinnar lining up Stevens.]

SM V/O: Trip now in trouble as Olvir is looking to drill him with that Mjolnir Blow, but Trip sidesteps him and takes him down with a big stunner.

[Cut to Stevens on the top rope.]

SM V/O: Match comes to a close here. Stevens on the top, going for the rana, but Arsvinnar catches him midair and absolutely crushes him with the big powerbomb. Stevens folds like an accordion, and Olvir gets the pin and the upset entry into the Final Four.

[Cut back to the studio, Tom Holzerman with a Dan Ryan inset.]

TH: Dan Ryan was looking to punch his ticket into the Final Four of this tournament for the third straight year, but that train was derailed in the regional semifinals with a loss to Troy Douglas. As it turns out, that's not the only thing that was derailed recently. After A1E's Vengeance pay-per-view went off the air, Dan Ryan, celebrating his Wargames match victory over Team A1E, was challenged to a match for his A1E World Championship and the life of the stalwart federation by longtime stalwart Big Dog. Ryan also put up his career, and as a result, was forced into retirement due to his loss. This is not an immediate retirement though. Ryan still has obligations to NAPW and NFW as their World Champions. He has also agreed to have his last match ever on TEAM programming against "The Queen of the Ring" Lindsay Troy. This match was erroneously reported as happening at TEAM SuperShow IX: Merritt Trophy '08 in Atlanta. However, this match will happen at the next possible SuperShow, after Ryan has fulfilled all his commitments.

[Cut to Murray in front of a PRIME/GCW inset.]

SM: One match that will be happening at a TEAM SuperShow on the horizon will be the much-anticipated PRIME vs. GCW Futures match at SuperShow VIII. It'll be a four-on-four elimination styled tag match featuring TEAM and NAPW veteran but PRIME newbie Simply Beautiful captaining a team featuring Union Jack, Jason Natas and Jimmy Bonafide. That squad will battle Chris Bagwell, Zacharia Taylor, Thom LeStrange and Brad Jackson. SuperShow VIII will also take place in Atlanta at the Phillips Arena.

[Cue up Led Zeppelin, "No Quarter." Cut to a shot of Fusenshoff and Troy Douglas trading blows.]

TH V/O: Coming up after the break, more regional final highlights, including a knock-down, drag-out affair between the man who eliminated Dan Ryan this year and the man who almost eliminated him last year. Stick around!

[Cut to a commercial for some penis pill that tells you to call a doctor if you have a boner for more than four hours.]

 

[TH]

[Cut directly to a shot of the Target Center ring, Fusenshoff with Troy Douglas off-balance.]

TH V/O: Let's take you right into the action in Minneapolis, the fourth-seeded Troy Douglas against the six Fusenshoff. Fuse in control early nailing Douglas with those hard, Melton chops.

SM V/O: Not to be confused with mutton chops.

TH V/O: Not at all.

[Cut to Fuse behind Douglas.]

TH V/O: In addition to being a wrestler, alcoholic and Canadian, the Hoff is also an amateur proctologist, nailing Douglas with the atomic drop.

[Cut to Douglas with Fuse in a gutwrench.]

TH V/O: Megatron on the way back, here hitting the Hoff with a gutwrench suplex.

[Cut to Douglas behind Fuse in a Dragon sleeper.]

TH V/O: Douglas looking to wear down Fuse here, but the the Canadian is struggling. Douglas sniffs this out and plants him with an Eli Flair-style inverted DDT.

[Cut to Fuse with Douglas on the mat.]

TH V/O: Fuse catches a break and he's got Douglas prone, laying him out with that vicious knee drop to the head.

[Cut to Douglas whipping Fuse off the ropes.]

TH V/O: That advantage was short-lived as Douglas starts to pull away a little bit. Here, he nails Fuse with the cross armbreaker off the Irish whip. Can't lift up for Domination if you can't use your arms.

[Cut to Douglas lining up a shot on Fuse's lower body.]

TH V/O: The EPW IC Champion is not discriminatory when it comes to body parts. Working the lower part with those kicks and then a pretty hard STO.

[Cut to Douglas with Fuse in a front facelock.]

TH V/O: And here, looking to put Fuse away with the fisherman suplex, but Fuse kicks out, and this starts the rally going the other way.

[Cut to Fuse with Douglas in a front waistlock.]

TH V/O: Fusenshoff with an overhead belly-to-belly here, sending Douglas halfway across the ring.

[Cut to Fuse in front of Douglas.]

TH V/O: And here, an exploder suplex, Fuse breaking out the suplexes like an Aye-See-Dubya midcarder.

[Cut Fuse with Douglas in a standing headscissor.]

TH V/O: But it all goes downhill as he's trying to finish Douglas off. Going for Domination, but in midair, Fuse misplays the transition into the facecrusher part. Douglas hooks the head and lands the tornado DDT.

[Cut to Douglas with Fuse in the corner.]

TH V/O: And shortly after, it's the end of the road for Fusenshoff. Underhook piledriver from rope 2, and no one gets up from that. Troy Douglas riding the wave of momentum into the Final Four. Steve?

[Cut to the O2 Arena.]

SM V/O: Alright, TEAM Challenge Champion Ravager, the London bracket's two seed, taking on the four, NEW World Champion Jonathan Marx for the chance to take on Olvir Arsvinnar in the Final Four. Two men trained in the shoot-style, and it started off resembling that. Marx with the upper hand early on taking Ravager down with the judo-style throw.'

[Cut to Ravager behind Marx.]

SM V/O: Ravager bounces back pretty quick. It looks like he's going for a German suplex here, but instead he spins Marx around and slams him on his stomach, a typical Olympic/amateur style maneuver. This match at the beginning was back and forth.

[Cut to Marx with Ravager in a front facelock.]

SM V/O: Marx back in control here, showing off some of his old-school wrestling stylings with the gordbuster.

[Cut to Marx whipping Ravager into the ropes.]

SM V/O: The Gentleman showing more of his technical side off here, hitting the Challenge Champion with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

[Cut to Ravager behind Marx.]

SM V/O: Ravager hasn't held that title for this long without some measure of resiliency, as he gets back into the match and here is choking the life out of Marx with that crossface chicken wing.

[Cut to Marx with Ravager on the ground.]

SM V/O: Not to be outdone here, Marx is on the weardown path, locking in Ravager with that cobra twist.

[Cut to Marx lining up to punch Ravager in the face.]

SM V/O: But then, Ravager goes on this tear. Marx lines up for a shot to the grill, but Ravager says "I Block Your Punch, You Don't Block My Headbutt," and Marx crumples to the canvas.

[Cut to Ravager whipping Marx off the ropes.]

SM V/O: Ravager relentless in his assault, tossing Marx to the ropes and then on the return using the momentum to help him crunch Marx with that MMA-styled side belly-to-belly suplex.

[Cut to Ravager and Marx face to face.]

SM V/O: Marx blocks a punch here, but look at this. He returns volley, but it's wide and Ravager ducks, letting the Gentleman swing around. Now behind him, look at Ravager, kicking the back of Marx's knee in, grabbing the back of his head and just tossing him down to the canvas face first. It's a good thing that Marx didn't break his nose there.

[Cut to Marx, face down on the bottom turnbuckle.]

SM V/O: Marx in deep trouble here, being set up for a Curb Stomp, but he moves out of the way, Ravager kicks turnbuckle. Marx is up quickly enough to drill Ravager with a German suplex, but it's not enough to put him away.

[Cut to Ravager with Marx in a stepover toehold with a reverse cravate facelock applied..]

SM V/O: And that would come back to haunt him as Ravager has him dead to rights in the middle of the ring with that Garrote. Marx, a submissions wrestler himself, knows that if you can't escape, you tap, and he does just that, prolonging his career but ending his run in this year's TiT. So it'll be Olvir Arsvinnar against Ravager on one side of the bracket.

[Cut back to the studio, Tom Holzerman with a Ravager/Fusenshoff inset behind him.]

TH: Because of his win, Ravager will obviously not be defending the Challenge Championship at SuperShow VIII. At the first chance, though, he will put that baby on the line against Fusenshoff. The Hoff may have exited in the Elite Eight this year as we showed you earlier in this segment, but TEAM officials have said that he's shown enough between his two tournament runs in consecutive years and his current run in EPW to garner a shot at the only TEAM Championship not to change hands yet. The stipulation has yet to be announced.

[Cue up Led Zeppelin, "No Quarter." Cut to Chip Friendly laughing at Mike Randalls.]

TH V/O: After the break, would Chip Friendly laugh his way to the Final Four? Or is the sun shining on Mike Randalls in Orlando. Find out after the break.

[Cut to a commercial for KFC, where the one guy's bragging to the other one that he bought a Snacker with a dollar he found in his couch.]

 

[TH]

[Cut right back to the Arena of Champions.]

TH V/O: Orlando Final, the only region where the top two seeds made it to the last match, those being Mike Randalls and Chip Friendly, respectively. Randalls starts the action with his patented gunshot intensity chops that have been outlawed in five states and the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico.

[Cut to Friendly in front of Randalls.]

TH V/O: But Chip gets right back into this thing, targeting Randalls' face as he does with everyone else. Here he lands a jawbreaker to the Devastator.

[Cut to Randalls whipping Friendly into the ropes.]

TH V/O: Randalls retakes control, here whipping The Chipster into the ropes and then high-tailing it the other way, setting up a collision that would end badly for one of them. Here's a hint, that spinning heel kick probably felt worse for Chip than it did for the Wolf.

[Cut to Randalls with Friendly near the ropes.]

TH V/O: Wrestling Mike Randalls is like being trapped in a room with a sentient badger on steroids. Further proof of that is here, dropping Everyone's Best Friend throat first on the top turnbuckle and then shaking it like a British nanny. Poor Chip is going to need a cup of hot tea after this match for therapy.

[Cut to Friendly running the ropes behind Randalls.]

TH V/O: Of course, you can't keep a friendly man down, and he's back sharing the pain with his good friend the Wolf. Facebuster-styled bulldog and a textbook example to boot.

[Cut to Friendly with Randalls in the corner.]

TH V/O: And look at the Chipster, always thinking about his friends, saving Randalls exponential money on his dental bills by giving him repeated blows to the face on that turnbuckle for absolutely no charge whatsoever.

[Cut to Randalls on the apron, grabbing Friendly by the head.]

TH V/O: Leave it to Randalls to return the favor, making use of that top rope again, this time with a cable-aided jawbreaker with the added momentum of Randalls going from apron to floor.

[Cut to Randalls behind Friendly.]

TH V/O: And here, something similar to what we saw in the Ravager match, only a little more sadistic. The Wolf is behind Chip here and he just kicks his leg out from underneath him. No sooner does the back of Friendly's head thud against the canvas then does Randalls land a mean Garvin stomp to his face. Ouch.

[Cut to Friendly side-by-side with Randalls.]

TH V/O: The Chipster would get back into the match though, here launching Randalls face first into the canvas with a front Russian leg sweep.

[Cut to Friendly whipping Randalls into the ropes.]

TH V/O: More free dental work, courtesy of the Innovator of Friendship, driving his knee into Randalls' face out of that Irish whip.

[Cut to Friendly whipping Randalls into the ropes again.]

TH V/O: The Chipster whipping the Wolf into the ropes, going for his Frownbuster, but Randalls uses his own momentum to his advantage, flips behind Friendly, pushes him into the ropes and lands a savate kick to the side of the Chipster's head, knocking him loopy.

[Cut to Randalls lording over a staggered Friendly who's holding his leg.]

TH V/O: Randalls was able to lock that Santa Fe Cloverleaf in on Chip, but he got into the ropes. After breaking the hold, Randalls turns around only to find Chip using his last burst of energy to nail him with a Flatliner.

[Cut to Friendly untying the padding on the top turnbuckle.]

TH V/O: The Chipster trying to gain an advantage over Randalls for the win ends up being his undoing. He takes the padding off of that top turnbuckle and attempts to whip Randalls into it, but the Wolf reverses it and sends Chip flying chest first into it. Chip staggers back, and Randalls locks him in a rear waistlock, spins around lightning quick and throws Friendly into the exposed turnbuckle with a German suplex. Goodnight, Chip! Randalls gets the pin and a date with Troy Douglas in the Final Four.

[Cut to the TEAM studios.]

TH: That's going to do it for us. Tune into TEAM SuperShow VIII on the Alternative Sports Network, or if you can't, make sure you catch all the highlights on EPICENTER. For now, I'm Tom Holzerman...

SM: And I'm Steve Murray.

TH: Goodnight, everyone.

[Fade to

]

 

[TH]

CREDITS:

Writing: Holzerman
Judging: Holzerman, Russo, Lindz, Brunk, Jarret, ChrisNova, Stalker, OLW Jeff, Scooter Ray